I was thinking (and that should worry you) that it might be a fun idea to take a look see at our lives and try to match ourselves up with a biblical person. So, as a call to my blogger friends, which person in the bible most accurately portrays you, your life, or your circumstances. It could be anybody, you could me Mary, Joseph, Peter, Moses, Hagar, Isaac, Paul, pretty much whomever you feel you most identify with while reading the text. You could even be Jesus perhaps, not that your feeling all that righteous right now, maybe your just feeling like you spend all your time being chased by crowds, dining with tax collector and hookers, and praying about your impending end. Anyway, to my few faithful readers, who do you feel you are the best reflection of (leave comment) and why (blog if you will).
I’ll go first (like that was an option).
I am Jacob.
Not the most wholesome choice, but sometimes the truth isn’t always pleasant. Some of you know that I came to the church and became a Christian, or follower of Christ as some like to say, or born again as others prefer, only about 7 or so years ago. Before that time, I was not always the most transparent and genuine of people. I had issues that I hid and controlled through defense mechanisms, personal barriers, and careful reality denial. Jacob, in its original language means something like deceiver, swindler, huckster, liar, cheater. That was me, BC. My whole personality was a carefully constructed hoax. I manipulated situations and minds to protect my shortcomings and frailties. I would lie, cheat and steal to maintain the façade. When you read the story of Jacob, in the beginning he was deceptive to his family, in particular his brother, then the story about what he did with breeding the herds to assure his flocks grew. The first time I read these passages I found myself thinking Jacob was doing things in the same manner that I might have done them. I don’t say that with any particular pride, just recognition of character. Then when he was, well, nevermind, if you don’t know the story of Jacob, go read it real quick and watch carefully for his manipulations of people and things to further himself and protect himself. This was my story from age 10 or so till my mid to late 20’s. (I want to mention that a few close friends knew the real me, but most everyone else, including family, had no idea who I was. People would call me arrogant, conceited, and other such things not realizing that they were 180 degrees off base from the frailty and worthlessness that really made up who I was) What happened next to me was the same thing that happened to Jacob, except for the timeline. I found myself in a wrestling match. I fought and fought against the powers that are. I resisted at every turn and pulled against every push. I was clueless as to what I was struggling against. I called it the battle that is life, when it was really my pulling away from the Spirit. My wrestling match lasted for years as opposed to the night that the scripture speaks of, but metaphorically speaking I can say I wrestled all night and was just as stubborn as Jacob. Just as with Jacob, morning was coming and the fight was still going on. Just as with Jacob, God has had enough of being patient with me and now He is going to thump me and wound me. Just as Jacob carried his wounded hip around the rest of his days, I will carry the scars of this battle around with me as well, they remind me daily of from wence I came. My battle ended, in my most humble opinion, in an arena in Charlotte North Carolina. I tossed up my hands and gave up my life to Him. I was tired of the struggle and tired of not having a purpose for my life. I was tired of the deception and the manipulations of life. I was tired of the baggage I was toting around all the time, the weight was getting to be too much to carry. In a moment, a mountain top moment, a moment of epiphany, I gave up. I expected to feel dejected and failed, but instead I felt the Holy Spirit rush into me and fill me with purpose and plans and power and I felt the hand of Jesus reach into me and tear away all the baggage leaving behind only two things, the battle scars from God and the Peace that comes from Him. I was changed, a new creation, old things had passed away. My name was changed, not to Israel, but changed none the less.
One other overlap worth mentioning between Jacob and I. I have a daughter named Grace, as most of you might know. Grace did not come easily, she is the end of the rainbow (reference to promise is intentional) Grace is blessed by her maker since before she was made. I have a short Gracie story for you. One evening I was sitting watching Nemo with Gracie on the couch. Mom was off with the girls getting a much needed break from the constant chatter of Grace. ( this little love bucket has a hinge that connects her eyes to her mouth, if the eyes are open the mouth is a floppin too) Anywho, we were snuggled up under a blanket and watching Nemo and she started to get quiet. This means she is falling asleep, praise God. I don’t get too much snuggle time because that’s moms job, I am the play thing and provider of stuff, so I am really enjoying this time. She turned around and looked up at me to tell me it was time for our nightly ritual of hugs-kisses-high fives. This takes place every night before bed, sometimes 2 or 3 times depending on how much she wants to stall. When she turned around and looked at me with those happy and tired eyes of hers, I looked deep into them. What I saw made me understand what it was like to be Jacob. I looked into those big brown eyes of Grace and saw love, I saw what love is, I saw Love, for God is Love. I looked into the eyes of my daughter and saw God looking back at me, happy in His knowledge and expectations. I felt a cold fire like a fever rush through my body, tremendous joy and fear and trembling. Awe is not a strong enough word. I felt like Jacob and know how Jacob felt for I have looked into the face of God and been spared.
Genesis 32: 22-32
He struggled with Esau in the womb and got his name Jacob.
He struggled for the birthright and had succeeded.
He had struggled for the blessing and had succeeded.
He had struggled with Laban and had succeeded.
He had struggled with God and failed (but his failure was his success).
I’ll go first (like that was an option).
I am Jacob.
Not the most wholesome choice, but sometimes the truth isn’t always pleasant. Some of you know that I came to the church and became a Christian, or follower of Christ as some like to say, or born again as others prefer, only about 7 or so years ago. Before that time, I was not always the most transparent and genuine of people. I had issues that I hid and controlled through defense mechanisms, personal barriers, and careful reality denial. Jacob, in its original language means something like deceiver, swindler, huckster, liar, cheater. That was me, BC. My whole personality was a carefully constructed hoax. I manipulated situations and minds to protect my shortcomings and frailties. I would lie, cheat and steal to maintain the façade. When you read the story of Jacob, in the beginning he was deceptive to his family, in particular his brother, then the story about what he did with breeding the herds to assure his flocks grew. The first time I read these passages I found myself thinking Jacob was doing things in the same manner that I might have done them. I don’t say that with any particular pride, just recognition of character. Then when he was, well, nevermind, if you don’t know the story of Jacob, go read it real quick and watch carefully for his manipulations of people and things to further himself and protect himself. This was my story from age 10 or so till my mid to late 20’s. (I want to mention that a few close friends knew the real me, but most everyone else, including family, had no idea who I was. People would call me arrogant, conceited, and other such things not realizing that they were 180 degrees off base from the frailty and worthlessness that really made up who I was) What happened next to me was the same thing that happened to Jacob, except for the timeline. I found myself in a wrestling match. I fought and fought against the powers that are. I resisted at every turn and pulled against every push. I was clueless as to what I was struggling against. I called it the battle that is life, when it was really my pulling away from the Spirit. My wrestling match lasted for years as opposed to the night that the scripture speaks of, but metaphorically speaking I can say I wrestled all night and was just as stubborn as Jacob. Just as with Jacob, morning was coming and the fight was still going on. Just as with Jacob, God has had enough of being patient with me and now He is going to thump me and wound me. Just as Jacob carried his wounded hip around the rest of his days, I will carry the scars of this battle around with me as well, they remind me daily of from wence I came. My battle ended, in my most humble opinion, in an arena in Charlotte North Carolina. I tossed up my hands and gave up my life to Him. I was tired of the struggle and tired of not having a purpose for my life. I was tired of the deception and the manipulations of life. I was tired of the baggage I was toting around all the time, the weight was getting to be too much to carry. In a moment, a mountain top moment, a moment of epiphany, I gave up. I expected to feel dejected and failed, but instead I felt the Holy Spirit rush into me and fill me with purpose and plans and power and I felt the hand of Jesus reach into me and tear away all the baggage leaving behind only two things, the battle scars from God and the Peace that comes from Him. I was changed, a new creation, old things had passed away. My name was changed, not to Israel, but changed none the less.
One other overlap worth mentioning between Jacob and I. I have a daughter named Grace, as most of you might know. Grace did not come easily, she is the end of the rainbow (reference to promise is intentional) Grace is blessed by her maker since before she was made. I have a short Gracie story for you. One evening I was sitting watching Nemo with Gracie on the couch. Mom was off with the girls getting a much needed break from the constant chatter of Grace. ( this little love bucket has a hinge that connects her eyes to her mouth, if the eyes are open the mouth is a floppin too) Anywho, we were snuggled up under a blanket and watching Nemo and she started to get quiet. This means she is falling asleep, praise God. I don’t get too much snuggle time because that’s moms job, I am the play thing and provider of stuff, so I am really enjoying this time. She turned around and looked up at me to tell me it was time for our nightly ritual of hugs-kisses-high fives. This takes place every night before bed, sometimes 2 or 3 times depending on how much she wants to stall. When she turned around and looked at me with those happy and tired eyes of hers, I looked deep into them. What I saw made me understand what it was like to be Jacob. I looked into those big brown eyes of Grace and saw love, I saw what love is, I saw Love, for God is Love. I looked into the eyes of my daughter and saw God looking back at me, happy in His knowledge and expectations. I felt a cold fire like a fever rush through my body, tremendous joy and fear and trembling. Awe is not a strong enough word. I felt like Jacob and know how Jacob felt for I have looked into the face of God and been spared.
Genesis 32: 22-32
He struggled with Esau in the womb and got his name Jacob.
He struggled for the birthright and had succeeded.
He had struggled for the blessing and had succeeded.
He had struggled with Laban and had succeeded.
He had struggled with God and failed (but his failure was his success).
Jacob's new name's purpose
Jacob’s name was changed to Israel so that he would never forget that it was not he who was to be in charge and decide things but instead it was to be Him who would order and command the affairs of life. And Jacob, Israel, kept his limp as a reminder of who he once was.
Jacob’s name was changed to Israel so that he would never forget that it was not he who was to be in charge and decide things but instead it was to be Him who would order and command the affairs of life. And Jacob, Israel, kept his limp as a reminder of who he once was.
5 comments:
I've been told I'm Gideon.
Not so sure about that. *rolling eyes*
I'm Mojo Da Nytha. Pretty cool, eh? I'm like the Bible rapper gal.
http://atypicalgirl.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/i-am-mojo-da-nytha-of-the-bible/
hmmmm...I'll have to think about that one. Joseph comes to mind.
I feel like Hannah because I also prayed for a child and was blessed. And, following her lead, gave the child back to Him.
You know Angie ... I tried to follow suit with Hannah ...but every time I tried that, Pastor Randy just looked at me and said "new covenant Peggi, new covenant"
He didn't get ... it was SAMUEL ..he was supposed to raise him!
;)
Post a Comment