You should see your face...........

Last weekend we had some visitors in from out of town. A couple from Michigan (we forgive them for that) spent the weekend with us as one of them was in town for a job interview. On Saturday night we wanted to go out to dinner with just the four of us. This little trick requires assistance's from a babysitter for Gracie.

Now, keep in mind, volunteering to babysit Gracie is like volunteering to be the on scene reporter as a hurricane comes ashore. Its not that Gracie is a bad child mind you, she is actually a very kind, loving, and mostly obedient bundle of joy. She is just ultra-high energy, silly, and talkative. As with a hurricane, "its not THAT the wind is blowin', its WHAT the wind is blowin' " (Ron White) When Gracie gets on a roll she will use more words than you can find in Tolstoy's War and Peace, and this is just the first five minutes. Her imagination is bizarre and her vocabulary is astonishing. She loves to make words rhyme for no apparent reason just to get to say more words. For example, things are not big, they are humongous, and because fungus rhymes with humongous everything is fungus humongous. She is terminally entertaining to listen to as our friends found out this weekend.

Well, to continue with the story, we were able to procure a babysitter for the evening. I felt sorry for Ms. Sarah, our 16 year old friend from church. I didn't pity her enough not to go out mind you, but I did feel a little guilty unleashing Gracie on her. When we returned that evening Ms. Sarah seems very glad to see us. She said Gracie was a perfect angel and was good all evening, but she did add that she talked more than anybody she has EVER met in her WHOLE life. Now, Ms. Sarah, your 16 years have been full of experiences, but I am 40 years old and I must agree with you on this one, I don't think it is possible to talk more than Gracie, especially if she is excited and happy. Unfortunate for Ms. Sarah, Gracie was excited, as soon as Ms. Sarah arrived, Gracie looked at me and said, "you can go now" She was enjoying the company we had visiting, but she loves a babysitter and she adores Ms. Sarah. When she gets excited she stops putting spaces between her words, or to state if differently, she stops breathing. An example of a short paragraph might be in order here.

"Ms.Abner,myteacher,theoneIhavewithAugestinkeptmeinfromrecesstodosomeworkbutthatisokay becauseAugestineissoadorableandnowIhavebeenmovedtothebluetable.Wegottochoosewhattablewe wantedtomovetoifweweregoodandnowmytableisallboys, I am theonlygirlatthetable,whichisokay,I sitwithAugestineCollinandnevermindcanwegodownstairsandplayonthecomputer, Icangetitstartedallbymyselflikeabiggirl. I like the bluetable.HEY,wouldntitbeGREATifwewereso tinythatwewereimaginaryandfelldowninsideourshoes, that wouldbesilly wouldnt it?...................."

Okay, if you find that hard to read, you should try listening to it. That paragraph might take her 2 seconds and she can string 20 or 30 of them together without even a breath. This is why Ms. Sarah looked pale when we returned, all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. Gracie actually tuckered herself out, she slept in the next morning and slept a lot the next few days. I have a feeling Ms. Sarah might have needed a nap as well.

Anyway, back to the point of this story. Before we left to go to dinner a young man came by doing a fundraiser for the local school, he was selling candy bars. I let Gracie buy two, one for her and one for momma. These are those caramel filled bars that momma loves. I told Gracie if she was good she could have hers while we were out. I didn't think about it again until we got home. After we were home and checked on our little Hunan storm center, I noticed that 3 out of the 5 pieces of the candy bar were still setting on the table. I thought it was strange that she ate so little since she almost never gets chocolate. I don't think to question it, but a few days later and its still on the table the subject comes up between momma and Gracie.

Gracie: mommy, what is the yellow stuff inside the candy bar?

Momma: It's called caramel honey.

Gracie: Its disgusting.

Momma: you don't like caramel, mommy does.

Gracie: No, its disgustin' it tastes like little ones. (little ones are boogers by the way)

Momma: It tastes like WHAT?

Gracie: Its disgustin' it tastes like snot, I don't like it, I shared with Ms. Sarah.

Momma: It tastes like little ones? Well I like it. Gracie, where did you put what was left?

Gracie: I just threw in away...........

Momma: You did what!! I would have ate it !!!!!! Don't ever through away chocolate and caramel !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gracie: (in a screeching and giggling voice) You should see your face!!!

I would have liked to have seen her face myself on that one........ Where do five year olds get this stuff anyway??

Ten commandments.

'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.' - Ronald Reagan





Exodus 20:1-17
1 And God spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not kill.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.
15 Thou shalt not steal.
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

• After being submitted to congress in its original format, congress immediately decided that the first step was to simplify (dumb down) the verbose nature of the commandments and print up a list that they could work with and that they felt the average American could understand.

Citizens Ten Commandments

1. Have no other gods.
2. Have no idols.
3. Honor God's name.
4. Honor the Sabbath day.
5. Honor your parents.
6. Do not murder.
7. Do not commit adultery.
8. Do not steal.
9. Do not perjure yourself.
10. Do not covet.

• Step two. The lawyers in congress felt the shortened version was too black and white and needed to be expanded back a bit towards its original format so they had something to discuss and sink their teeth (fangs) into.

Voters Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
10. Thou shalt not covet.

• And now the discussion and debate shall begin in congress about this list.
  

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. This does not allow for the American spirit of diversity and seems a bit selfish. What about all the other gods, budah, zues, allah, and the like. It doesn't seem fair to put one above the others now does it. What about the other things that Americans like to worship, like money, Hollywood celebrities, and themselves. This doesn't seem to leave room for those things either. A congressperson from California submits a proposal to edit this commandment to read, one (gender neutral term) should pick the order in which one lists one's own gods and only change the list when one deems its is completely appropriate to do so and one should keep their own list to oneself.
   
   
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Well this could put a kink in the funding of the arts. Who are we to decide what is art and what is not? We give grants for this kind of work all the time and its popular at the art shows. What would we do with all this grant money if we stopped giving it to artists? This could slow down the economy and hinder the creative endeavors of some of our best artists. If Mapplethorpe wasn't making art what would we do with him and how would he make a living? A proposal was submitted by a congressman in Massachusetts to edit this one to read: One should exercise caution when creating images that might be considered controversial and might be worship able by someone.
   
3. Thou shalt not take the Lords name in vane is a direct violation of the freedom of speech. People have the right to say anything they wish as long as nobody gets hurt. The Lord should have to sue for liable and slander just like the rest of us. A proposal was submitted by a congressman in Vermont to edit this one to read: please use caution in speaking and do not slander your government.
   
   
4. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy. Well, if we forget it will it be any less holy? Which day is the sabbath day anyway? According to the original document, it is a day of rest, for some that is everyday and for some its never so what day is it supposed to be? Some say its Sunday, but that is football day not sabbath day. Maybe its Wednesday, cant be that's men's day at the golf course. A congressman from Oklahoma proposed this read: Remember the work day, and keep it going. Not having a better idea the committee submitted this suggestion.
   
   
5. Honour thy father and thy mother. Well this one seems okay, kids should honor and obey their parents. In fact we could expand this one a bit. Since George Washington was the father of our country and we all know it takes a village to raise a child, then maybe we should broaden the scope of this a little. A proposal was entered by a congressman from Virginia to edit this one to read: Honour your father, your mother, and your elders, your teachers, your neighbors, your siblings, your government, and that creepy guy in the ice cream delivery truck (he is in rehab after all).



6. Thou shalt not kill is a little too broad. We need to reserve the right as the government to decide when this is appropriate do we not? We have criminals after all that we decide we need to kill, so we should allow for this here. After some heated debate it was decided that this needed to be expanded even further to allow the government to decide about who had the right to live and who was allowed to be killed. Upon review it was determined that criminals could be killed at the request of the government and any person who had not yet shown their worth as a human being could be killed, this allows for a women's right to choose that since the human inside of her had not yet proved their worth to the world, it could be killed by a government sanctioned and funded doctor. A motion was submitted and was carried.



7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Again, this is too broad a statement. If your spouse cheats on you, shouldn't you be allowed to cheat on them as well? Maybe we need some clarity here, maybe it should read: Thou shalt not commit adultery with anyone under the age of 18. No, that doesn't work either because each state has different laws pertaining to legal age. In Arkansas you could get legally married at 14, so maybe 13 is the age we should go with here. A congressman from Arkansas submitted this proposal.



8. Thou shalt not steal. Perhaps some caution should be exercised in what is called stealing. If a person is hungry, should they steal food? Is it a crime to take what you need from somebody that has more than they need? It would be too humiliating to ask for something so maybe we need to allow for some instance of theft, but not for others. We can call them out in degrees. First degree, second degree, third degree, and felony theft. A proposal was submitted to the committee by a congressman in Delaware to allow for degrees of theft so that some people could steal if they had a really good reason.



9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Since this would virtually eliminate the profession of lawyers it was decided by the committee to completely forgo dealing with this issue. The lawyers all plead the fifth and hit the delete button in unison.



10. Thou shalt not covet is completely un-American. Isn't that what this country was built upon? Are we not told from a young age that if we want to be like that rich guy on TV we should work harder than the other guy and be smarter than the other guy so we can acquire more stuff and live a better easier life than the other guy. Of course we were, greed is good, greed works. To covet is to be American, without it we would have no drive and no ambition. After all, its the governments job to give and to take away. A suggestion was submitted by the congresswomen from New York to edit this one to read: You should not covet what the government has not given you, you should just ask and patiently wait for it to give you more.

• After much deliberation, meeting, and lobbying a final list was boiled back down to this simple form.
  

1. There is no god or need for one.
   
2. Idol's are American and live in Hollywood
   
3. Free speech only applies if your not talking about someone wealthier than you or in elected office.
   
4. Work hard, play hard, live hard and die early so you don't become a burden on the Social Security System.
   
5. Everyone IS better than you and your a victim, the government is here to help.
   
6. Killin is okay as long as the government says so, just ask us first.
   
7. Be kind to kids, just not too kind.
   
8. Robbin hood had the right idea, now he is a congressman.
   
9. omitted due to not knowing what the definition of "is" is.
   
10. Greed is good, greed works.
    

Reagan was right. They are (would be) completely unrecognizable if congress got hold of them.

Education

You have heard of the show and the game, "are you smarter than a 5th grader". Well, here is my take on it, with a twist as usual. Are you smarter than Forest Gump?

Here in the Little Miami School District, over half the voters are not smarter than Forest Gump. Why do I say that? The levy failed. I am embarrassed to live here now. I know there are a lot of parents who don't put much effort into parenting. I know there are parents who let there little kids run lose in the streets and just assume they are safe and like a cat, will come home when they feel like it. I know there are parents who find their kids to be an expensive inconvenience that keeps them from living their life the way they want to live it. I know all of these things because I can see it happening all around me. I don't feel that way because my daughter is a blessing and a prize from God that I enjoy every minute of every day. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be a parent that I relish every second of it, the good, the bad and the ugly. I work hard to provide for my family and I work hard at being a parent. I want Gracie to have everything I didn't, isn't that what a parent is supposed to do? I want her to have every advantage and every thing she needs to become a well rounded, productive, happy and successful citizen and a blessed child of God. In order to accomplish this task, a quality education is required. A quality education means a good school and involved parents to help make sure she is working at school and putting in the time required. A quality education means having facilities and teachers who are willing and able to provide her the attention and supplies that she needs to learn. Kids need good text books, good computers, good teachers, good supplies, and good high level challenging courses to choose from. The voters of the district just took those things away from my daughter, and all the kids, over 83 cents a day. That is an average of course, but that's what the cost would be for the average tax valuation in the district. Yes some would pay more and some less, but the point isn't the cost, the point is the price to pay for not passing it, a high price it will be. 37 teachers cut, 3 buildings closed, AP and gifted programs ended, art, music, gym, etc ended, class size inflation, busing kids from one side of the district to the other (up to 40 miles in some cases). This is a slap in the face to the kids who just got told they don't mean squat to anybody and nobody cares about them. Well, kids, I care.

The above clip is from the movie "Forest Gump" I know its supposed to be funny, but there is a point in there as well. Mrs. Gump showed just how much she cared for her sons education. While this is done in a comedic way, its still true. An education is the sole thing that opens doors for our youth. Without an education our youth are doomed. I will not and can not allow this to happen to my Gracie. She will get everything she needs. The sad part is that all of those parents who voted no, obviously don't care enough about their kids to put forth the type of effort I am willing to put forth, so their kids will be disadvantaged from the get go.

I am not saying that Gracie is going to be the valedictorian and your kid will be the fence post, but I am saying that in 30 years your kid will be working for mine, if that is what she chooses to do.

One other side light. You people who voted no, please do not tell me who you are. I will not do business with you and since you hurt my child I will be struggling not to return the favor. Scripture tells me to turn the other cheek and forgive you for you know not what you do, ( and I will forgive you) but I so want to kick you in the shin first.

The most poignant line from the movie, in my opinion, was when Forest asked Jenny if his son was smart. I burst into tears every time I see this line. ( I know, cut me a break, there are deep seated emotionally unstable reasons for that you don't want to know) The reason I point this out is because EVEN Forest knows that its important in this world to be smart. The only way to get smart is to get an education. The global economy is upon us, it is real. Screw global warming, that's not the real threat here, a failed economy driven by a failed education system will starve us all long before the climate change extintafies us all. If Forest know this and you didn't, and therefore voted no, you are not as smart as Forest, or a 5th grader for that matter.

" Stupid is as stupid does "