Mothers

This is a public service announcement, Mothers day is coming, Mothers day is coming, Mothers day is coming soon. Prepare yourselves, for Mothers day is almost upon us. If you have a mother, or a wife who is a mother, or a friend or neighbor who is a single mom, you must prepare for the upcoming event. Do not get caught unaware, things will not go well for you if you forget or ignore the coming celebration. (trust me on this one)

Now, silliness aside for a moment. Moms have been on my mind an inordinate amount lately. I have been thinking about my mom because she is still in rehab, I have been thinking about a young friend of the family who is only a few months away from becoming a single mom, I have been thinking about another friend who will celebrate her first mothers day with her husband and child who is only a few weeks old. I have been thinking about a very young friend who's behaviours may lead to her becoming a single mom by next mothers day. But mostly I have been thinking about my lovely wife , blink blink............ Angie, the mother of my child, Gracie. I am sure that Angie has been thinking about her mother, the late Marilyn Tudor. I also know that both of us have been thinking about another mother recently. Another mother who has many names but yet has no name, I am talking about Gracie's birth mother.

Gracie's birth mother has become a subject as of late. Gracie has begun to make certain observations that lead to questions. A friend of ours who was pregnant, and then had a child, and was therefore no longer pregnant, has provided Gracie with some visual cues that have led to some tough discussions. We explained that she had a baby growing in her belly, which prompts the question, "like I was in your belly?" Uh, no. Angie explained at the time that Gracie grew in her heart. This of course will not be the end of this issue. A week or so later Angie decided to read Gracie a story from a book called "I love you like Crazy Cakes" It is the story of a Chinese adoption. This story gently brings the subject of the other mother to the forefront for discussion. It was explained to Gracie that she was in the belly of a woman in China and that we travelled to China to get her and became her mom and dad. Gracie understands that she had another mother at some point, but she is not really able to grasp the whole thing just yet. Angie has also instituted the practice of good night prayers, and part of that prayer is to pray for her Chinese mother. Some parents of adopted children try to distance themselves from the issue of birth parents. We, however, feel no need to do that. We know that this Chinese woman loved her baby very much and we know that at least for a few days she was a good parent as well. This woman made the toughest choice a person can make and did what was necessary to provide for the child she loved. She did the only thing she knew to do to assure her loved one would be cared for and made a selfless sacrifice to achieve hope for her daughter. Now, bear in mind, we have no idea who this woman is, no one does. We have not met her and it is impossible to find her. You might then ask, "then how do you know these things about her?"

Marilyn Grace, also know as, Yi Meng Chang, was found on the side of the road a few feet from the driveway heading up to the orphanage in Yi Yang. She was placed there, bundled up warmly, with a change of clothes and some powdered milk. The orphanage at Yi Yang is one of the orphanages that supplies children into international adoption. She was found by an orphanage worker on her way into work. Her age was approximated at 7 days old. These are all documented facts (names deleted) from the paperwork filed by the Chinese Institute of Children's Welfare. What is not documented, but I believe to be true, is that the woman who placed her there was off in the bushes across the road watching and waiting for the workers to come by and find her child. I believe she watched and waited to make certain, it was done. How hard it must have been to do this. This is how we know she was loved. I wish she could know how wonderful and happy Grace is. I wish she could know how much of a blessing she bestowed upon us. I wish she could have known the joy that she brought into our lives as we held little Yi Meng Chang in our arms for the first time some 15 months later. Grace is a very strong little girl, she is terribly strong of will and spirit. I have a feeling this is also a gift from her birth mother.

So, as mothers day approaches I send out this message and ask you all to pray with me.

Heavenly Father, please be with all the mothers on Your creation, this earth. Please provide them the strength to do the things that are required of them. Lord, please guide them with Your wisdom and nurture them with Your hand. Lord please comfort those who have lost their children be it through accident or through choice and help them find peace in You. Lord we ask that you send a peace and understanding to those mothers who have placed their children into the care and hands of adoptive parents so that they might not worry or wonder if their child is safe, send them the comfort and knowledge that all is well that is done with You. Dear God, please send this message strongly to a certain mother, the mother of Yi Meng Chang so that she may know the happiness and joy that has been brought to Grace and the let her know that through your grace all is well. In the mighty name of Jesus we pray.

Amen

Amen

and

Amen.

Tagged again

Okay, I have again been a victim of a run by tagging. Blog tag is one of those odd little things that we just get snookered into once in a while. Its usually pretty cool, it helps to give you a topic to blog about when you may not really have one. The rules to this tagging are simple and I am going to break most of them right now. I am supposed to link back to the person who tagged me, I am supposed to publish 6 random things about myself, and then tag six other people and let them know about it by commenting on their blog. I will now play the game, sorta. I am going to acknowledge my tagger and link back to her blog. I was tagged by my friend Amy. Her main page is listed on my blog roll but I will enclose a link that should take you to the tagging post. (http://atypicalgirl.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/lets-play-tag/ ) Amy has a really neat blog that bounces all over the board on the topics. She is a cool young lady with a lot of cyberspace stuff going on, she has a photo blog, of which I am a minor contributor, and an online magazine. All of which can be accessed through her main blog. Now, thanks to Amy for tagging me. I wont be tagging six people in return however. I will tag two unofficially, Digger and Angie, your unofficially tagged. I will also now publish 12 (instead of six) random facts about myself.

1. I am a pushover for little Chinese girls, especially my daughter, but any Chinese girl can pretty much ask me for the moon and I will begin hunting up a lasso.
2. My body and facial expressions always always always lie about me and what I am thinking. I cant help it, I look like a terrorist with a thorn stuck in my heal but I really a soft hearted teddy bear.
3. I get pulled aside at any and every security check point I approach in American airports.
4. I am married to a very beautiful and tolerant woman who I love very much, even when she is interrupting me.
5. I am a born again, washed in the Blood, redeemed, sanctified, and justified Christian who is but a sinner on fire for Jesus and a willing servant to my Father, the Father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Creator of Heaven and earth.
6. I like bright shiny objects, car crashes, and watch the military channel to watch things get blown up.
7. Bigots make me angry. You wont like me if I am angry.
8. I love food, cooking it, eating it, smelling it, yum - oh.
9. I cant dance, don't ask, I just cant, God did not bless me with the ability to move gracefully or in time to music, I have to watch the guy next to me just to clap in time with the music at church. Gracie has better rhythm than me and she falls down alot.
10. I believe God is like the clapper, if you have fallen and cant get up, just clap three times and the Light will come on and the Holy Spirit will pick you up and dust you off.
11. I am at times a bit sarcastic, hard to believe I know, but its true. I also like metaphors, hyperbole's, and deep reaching symbolism's, but I cant offer a textbook definition of any of the above. I also cant spell.
12. I like to be pretty sometimes. Just sometimes.

Well, Digger and Angie, its your turn if you want to continue the tag game. Sorry I didn't follow all the rules Amy, but being a bit off is just my nature.

kewl news

I have just a bit of news to report. This may be no big deal to anybody else, but its big to me. Actually, its huge, its El Grande Burrito, its Absolutely Fabulous, the most wonderful thing since Tiggers, (and we know Tiggers are wonderful things), it’s the best thing since sliced bread (what exactly does that mean anyway?) Its the coolest thing since the Cool Ghoul (reference to old King Kwik commercial, yes I am showing my age) Its bigger than big news, its better than breaking news, its more exciting than tabloid news. I mean who cares about earthquakes, global warming, and Hannah Montana anyway, this is a news flash about my dad.

Enough build up yet? Yeah, for now. Let me tell you what has me just a bit excited. I got a call from my mom last night, no that’s not all that exciting, but the reason for her call could explain earthquakes, global warming, and the Hannah Montana thing. (okay there is no good explanation for her) She called to tell me that my dad asked her to go to church last night. I am about 40 years old, and in my lifetime this is a first. He actually wanted to go. Mom hasn’t been in church but a handful of times in the last 40 either. Not only did he want to go, and actually go through with it, but he listened to the sermon, and then took communion. This was another first. He did go to church as a child, but his first communion came yesterday, in his late fifties. I was shocked, stunned, and amazed. But mostly I was and am just gleefully excited for him. I can feel the earth rumbling now as the devil looses his grip on one more. I tossed up one hand in praise as I received the news. The neatest part to stand back and watch is in my knowing I had nothing to do with it, I didn’t preach at him, I didn’t witness to him, I did nothing but stand back and watch God at work. It was just simple grace, and maybe a little bit of Grace as well. I hope and pray that this first leap continues into a full-blown walk in faith.
For some folks this is just a little thing, a man taking first communion, no big deal. For me, it’s the coolest thing since flying monkeys.

wait your turn

Suddenly I feel old. Well, maybe not old, but overwhelmed with my inability to cope with reality. A couple of things have been going on lately. It seems that life refuses to take a number and get in line. It would be nice if we could just hang one of those tape number machines around our neck, you know, like the ones you find at the deli counter. That way any new issue with life that pops up has to take a number and wait its turn. No I cant deal with a medical situation this week I am still having work issues, besides medical situations are number 19 and I am still serving number 15, you have to wait until work issues, Gracie issues, and my own mental instability are dealt with, then I will deal with medical situations. Right now I am trying to (deep breath) Reorganize the garage so I can move the entire basement into the garage and begin the process of finishing the basement. This project will require a multitude of tricks to pull it off without death, bloodshed and financial ruin. Negotiations with spouse are ongoing and we have no hostage situations as of yet. I am trying to cope with mom being bounced from hospital to Cleveland clinic to rehab center back to hospital and hopefully soon back to rehab center in a two-week time frame. (Added and repaired a heart stint and then came down with pneumonia and a pulmonary embolism resulting from the combination of heparin and pneumonia) I am trying to cope with a work situation that has resulted in one employee being fired and we are now running short handed, just as work is picking back up. I am trying to spend some time working in the yard and getting things pretty this year since last year we did absolutely nothing outside due to just moving in. People who know me are all ready aware of my issues with being mentally unstable so I won’t go into that issue. We are also starting to run into financial challenges due to some of the projects that are on the docket. We have finally joined a new church as well, although I still am a bit skeptical of some things, but I am keeping an open mind and heart. I didn’t really view or call myself a Methodist for the last 8 years, I don’t see me calling myself a Lutheran either. Add to this list the fact that my Gracie has decided to grow up and become active in things. She starts kindergarten in a few months (August ) and she is already signed up to be the littlest cheerleader as well as to play fall soccer. I can’t believe she is already into school activities. The next thing I know she will be riding a bus and having homework and all that other stuff. I am looking forward to running off the boys when she reaches the teenage years, I just don’t know if I am ready to grasp the fact that the teenage years are only a minute or two after kindergarten. I thinks me needs a nap.

Sometimes I am glad I am a superhero.

Groaner

When I blog I usually either have a message to convey, sometimes of a spiritual nature, sometimes not. I may have a story to relate to people, some event or something tremendously cute that Gracie did. I may even need to vent a bit about something. This is not one of these times, the following story is purely fictional and written only for entertainment value. I will warn all who might read beyond my intro to the story that this is middle school locker room humor and I am just taking a few minutes to have some fun with words.


We once had a friend who had identical twin daughters. These two young ladies were very attractive and very diminutive. I cannot say that they were midgets exactly but they were both in the 4 foot 5 range and both less than 100 lbs. So, lets just say they had the classic gymnast, cheerleader body type. I think one of them actually went on to be a Miami University cheerleader. They were both very nice young ladies as well as smart and a bit ornery. Okay, now the important things to remember are pretty, ornery, diminutive and twins. Now, its time for some fun with words. What do you call them when a young lady or in this case two young ladies invite someone over for dinner and to be their guest for the evening. You would call them a Hostess of course. This is also important to remember. These two ladies had run into the unfortunate situation, as sisters sometimes do, that they were both attracted to the same young boy. This is never a good thing to have happen, but these ladies were exceptionally close because they were not only sisters but identical twin sisters. So they decided to settle this matter in the best way they could, they invited the boy over for dinner, together, and they agreed that if he paid more attention to one than the other, then that was that, if not, they agreed that they would just have to share. They did not however inform the boy of their desires. We now have our hostesses with an agenda and a boy invited into their lair. When said boy arrives both the young ladies of questionable integrity at this point begin to faun over the unsuspecting soon to be victim. He ogles the sight of both the diminutive twins paying such lavish attention to him and his mind begins to create delusions of what may lie ahead for him this evening. The ladies are getting so giddy with their attentions to him that he begins to wonder about the sanity or sobriety of this ladies. Might they be:

Yes that's right, they might be hostess ding dongs. As the evening continued both of the diminutive twins became more and more appealing to him. He was able to overlook their obviously obsession with wining his attention, as he still mistakenly felt he had an even playing field with both of them. He could not get it through his head that they were only playing with him and this was not going anyplace like where he was imagining. He was still too stunned by the beauty of the:
And cup cakes they were at this point in time. And they were bringing a whole new meaning to the word hostess at this point. After dinner they sat down on the couch together and he naturally had one sister right up next to him snuggling in one on each side. This was just too good to be true. Could these two sweet young ladies of diminutive stature really be heading towards what he hoped? Could they really be:
Could they really be after his body in such a blatant manner. Are the twin seductresses headed towards a teen males wildest dream? Could they be ho one and ho two like a sultry Dr. Seuss book? Or will this story parallel The Cat and the Hat and once ho one and ho two are out of the box are they going to bring havoc until mom comes home? This is almost two much for a teen male to handle. He digs deep into his confidence level and begins to make his move, on both of them at once. He has decided that he wants to gamble and head straight for:
Straight for his doom. He did not pick one as the twins had wished, and in spit of how close they were to each other they just could not bring themselves to share this prize. They instead choose in unison to shun his advances and quickly became less than gracious hostesses. They informed him that he was no longer welcome in their company and that their mom Susan:

Suzy would be home shortly. Suzy would not like that fact that they were home alone with a boy and it was time for him to make a hasty departure. He was not at all amused by the situation as it turned out, but he was left with little choice in the matter. He had been brought to a height of expectation only to be dropped to the floor and left with (wait for it):

I hope my little fictional story has left you with a giggle and grin or two. If you were offended, I apologize for afflicting such humor on the unsuspecting populace, but its all just in good fun though be it somewhat questionable in taste. (pun about taste purely intentional).

Per Request

My friend Amy asked that I share a photo of some of my wounds that are described in the post OWeeeee.

I think its a bit weird, but

Hey Amy, here ya go..............

I am going to regret this later, most likely.

Tick Tock

Whats in a day? Lets see here, let me make a list. I love lists, in particular list of statistics. I spend between 4 and 6 hours a night sleeping so lets call that 5 hours. Going to and coming from and being at work adds up to about 70 hours a week so lets call that 10 hours a day. On average I spend about 1 hour a day sitting and eating, sometimes more on weekends sometimes less when I skip breakfast and lunch, but lets just average it to an hour. I spend a daily average of 2-1/2 hours on the phone and 1-1/2 hours in front of the television each day. I spend about 1-1/2 each day playing with my daughter Gracie, more on weekends less during the week but lets just say as an average its 1-1/2 hours. I put in about ½ each day grocery store shopping and about ¼ hour shopping in general plus another ½ hour standing in lines here in there. I have to have my bathroom time of course so we will say ½ hour showering, ½ hour taking care of business, and ¼ hour getting ready each day. I put in about 2 hours each day doing household chores like laundry, dishes, fix it up, clean it out, mow it, water it, etc. I enjoy my 1 hour each evening on the internet and I get enough email stuff to occupy another ½ hour easy. We spend several hours a week on church stuff or in church so I will conservatively estimate that at ¼ hour each day. I spend ¼ hour each day on hold and another ¼ hour each day banking or paying bills and sifting though mail. I visit my parents on average weekly so I will put that in at ¼ hour a day as well, and we must spend time getting to know the neighbors, so lets add another ¼ hour here. The smallest time unit I have use thus far is ¼ hour, so lets write a short list of things we must do that don’t quit register by themselves. We all must pump gas, get our registration and drivers licenses renewed, go to the doctor, walk the dog, change the oil in our cars, wrap a birthday present, etc, etc, etc, I will add all of those it just take a minute once in a while things in to a day as a ¼ hour more.

Now, lets do some math. If you add all this up it comes to 28.5 hours. We all know that there are only 24 hours in a day, so how do we do this? We must multi-task. We can be on the phone and on the toilet at the same time to save 3 minutes a day. Remember this the next time I call you. We can also sleep while at work, this is risky but could be a big time saver and its safer than sleeping while driving to or from work. We can combine chores like washing the dog or doing dishes while in the shower. I suggest not washing the dog AND doing dishes in the shower unless there is a lot of food stuck to the plates then the dog might be helpful. By the way, Palmolive makes a great body wash if your really really dirty. You can shave while in line at the BMV or bank if you have an electric razor, you might even be presentable for the license picture this way. Krogers was nice enough to put banks in the grocery store to help us with this multitasking endeavor. Eating while driving is always a time saver if you pick your meals carefully. You might even be able to put your cell phone on speaker, or if your lucky enough to have a blue tooth device, you can eat, drive, and talk on the phone and pull off the time saver hat trick. Another favorite of mine is to change clothes in the living room so I wont miss the end of CSI or the latest new tech toy on FutureWeapon on the Military Channel. The number of creative ways we can come up with to multitask is unlimited. We just need to be creative. If you toss some teenagers in the mix who need rides to everyplace and are busy themselves doing everything in the world because they have no restraints, the need to multitask gets even greater.

So, what exactly is the point of all this? We need to slow down and breath a little. At least I know I do. Secondly, do not tell me you’re too busy to talk to me, to return my call, or reply to my email. You not too busy, you just are not being creative enough. You can call me from the can if need be, I wont mind a bit, you can call me while driving to school or while waiting in line, I wont keep you long, you can email me back 24/7 and I will get it the next time I am on my computer reading email jokes while shaving and doing laundry all at the same time.

OOweee

Today has not been a good day. First, I went shopping with my two ladies. I love shopping with Gracie, but no body likes to shop with blink...blink..... Angie. First, when Angie is with us both Gracie and I have to behave, no running, no yelling, not telling people we are looking for bugs to eat because we are birds, this takes a lot of the fun out of it. Second, shopping with Angie is akin to being buried in an ant hill, you know your toast, its just going to be a long and painful demise. Its a fundamental difference between guy shopping and girl shopping, or the stand and stare as I call it. I find what I am looking for and pick it up and put it in cart, move on. Girl shopping means finding what your looking for and then standing in front of it while discussing why it isn't exactly what you wanted but it might work and what you might need or want it for, then moving on and finding just one more thing that you might want or need and staring at it a while. (anybody have a spoon, I need to remove my eyes now)

Speaking of moving on. Lets. The next paragraph is solely for background information for my next story, and this story is about me instead of Gracie as my bad day continues.

Before we went to China to adopt Gracie, before I even became a Christian, Angie and I had a group of friends we hung around with. This group of friends involved between 4 and 6 couples that would meet at one couples house. They had a house on a lake and we would get together on weekends to party and swim or whatever was going on that weekend. We got to be pretty close with all of them, Angie even went away on a girls weekend or two with them. The guys did projects together and built decks, closets, and even a sea wall and dock at the lake house. We were a pretty tight group, or so I thought. This relationship lasted for years, but suddenly something went wrong. The people who owned the lake house suddenly had issues with us, this happened, in my opinion, over a simple misunderstanding about something. I think they had other issues with us, but this provided an opportunity to black ball us from the group. This was difficult at first, but as I was just becoming a Christian at the time I now believe it was God's plan and we were pruned from the group by Him. This pruning took place right in the middle of our adoption process, so most of them have never seen Gracie. We have seen a few of them at a wedding, and I still have a business relationship with one of the guys, but that's it. We have had no contact with any of them since and it has been something like 4 years now.

Background information over. Back to my bad day. Today, after shopping, I needed to run Angie to the bank to deposit a few of her paychecks. We pulled up and I hopped out of the car because it was raining and Angie didn't want to get out of the car. As I am walking towards the sidewalk I look up and see a woman walking along who looks oddly familiar to me but I am having trouble placing her. Angie is sitting in the car thinking the same thing. I am rushing a bit because of the rain and watching the woman instead of watching were I am walking. I might add that I am wearing flip flops. As I am distracted and rushing and flip flopping I trip as I reach the sidewalk. I then stumble oh so ungraciously behind said familiar face and crash rather abruptly against the brick wall of the bank and then land on the sidewalk on both knees. As I lie there bleeding from two toes, two knees and one elbow with my face planted on the concrete and my inappropriately low at this point jeans exposing my flowered boxer shorts due to the fact that my butt is wagging in the air, I remember the name that is attached to the face. I hear her voice ask if I am okay to which I respond," I will be". Both knees are aflame and my toes are aching but that's not as hurt as my pride at this moment. I am still face down and butt up at this point. Angie climbs out of the car to see if I am okay and recognizes Dominique as well. She (Angie) then asks what happened as I roll over, and Dom responds by saying in was her stunning beauty that made me fall down. I always loved Dom's sense of humor. A brief and friendly reunion ensues at this point, I am still laying on the sidewalk. I finally get the energy to rise and stick my hand up. Dom reaches down and grabs it so I stand (without pulling on her to much) and pull her hand to my waist and wrap her in a big ol' hug. I know now that everything is fine. I haven't seen her or her husband in at least 4 years but it appeared as though nothing was wrong and nothing had changed in all that time. The hug felt good, and I will miss her, but I also know this was a meeting in passing and it will be years before we run into each other again, hopefully next time I will be a little more gracious in our encounter. While I was in the bank Dom asked about Gracie and she got to meet her and see her for the first time. Angie got to see pictures of her three kids who are all grown up at this point, the oldest is 15.

So, one of the things I ask others when they do something dorky like this is, "so, did you learn anything?" It is only fair of me to answer my own question. I learned that when staring at women it is best to watch were one is walking. I learned that if your wearing flowered boxer shorts and jeans that are too big, wear a belt. I learned that if its raining and your rushing because of rain, you really need to lift your feet up or you'll ripe the skin right off your toes. I learned that just because your embarrassed doesn't mean that the other person is thinking anything other than worrying about you being okay. I learned that concrete and brick walls are very hard and unforgiving, I learned that when a person as large as myself falls down, it hurts and its not at all graceful. I learned that time may heal all wounds, but things that have changed will never be the same ever again.

You may now ponder the deep wisdom of the last sentence while trying to get the image of me with my flowered boxers wagging in the air out of your head. Yes I know this in not a pleasant image to have burned in your brain, but like I said, its been a bad day, so I just thought I would share.