Direct TV........

After 10 years with Direct TV, last night we have moved on....... Goodbye DTV, you will be missed.

Approximately 10 years ago we had Time Warner Cable as our supplier for our television viewing pleasure, but we left them because it seemed every few months they would raise the rates or change the programing selections, and thus remove something that we enjoyed watching. As the price climbed and climbed and the service fit our desires less and less we made the tough choice to leave Time Warner and try out the relatively new concept of Direct TV. We were happy with them, their prices and their service until last night. Last night, the unthinkable happened....... We hit a television viewing crisis and DTV was unable to respond to assist us. We had finally found the fatal flaw, the Achilles heal of DTV. What is it you ask ?

DTV has no brick and mortar stores that you can work with to resolve you equipment problems. If a part goes bad, they Fed Ex you a new one, in 2 to 5 working days. You can't upgrade the shipping, due to 'contractual obligations'

So, here is the story.

Last night as I walk past the television it is happily showing my lovely wife's favorite channel ( DIY ) and then the screen goes black and prints a little message at the bottom saying the receiver needs reset. This is not a huge surprise because we get this little glitch about once a week. You press the little red reset button and the sun, moon, stars and satellites all check their locations in the universe, calculations are performed and the universe comes back into balance. This takes about 4 minutes, then you have you program back on and life sludges along as normal once again.

Upon re-entry into the room I discover that the precious receiver is no longer receiving power. The little blue light of joy is not shining any longer. I immediately drop to the floor and begin to attempt to necessitate it. I work tirelessly to bring life giving electricity back to the precious receiver. Upon exhausting all possibilities of immediate assistance I call the DTV version of 911 ( Tech Support ) and I speak with a fine young fellow named Tyler.

Tyler : thank you for calling Direct TV, how may I be of service to you ?

Me : Tyler, my receiver is dead, DEAD I say, it will not receive power, the blue light ( the blue light of joy ) is not on.

Tyler : have you tried plugging it into a different receptacle?

Me : yes, yes I have ( duh )

Tyler : let me check diagnostics on my end, ( canned computer like noises now whirr and grind away as I am on hold ) sir, you are correct, your receiver is indeed dead. Lets look at getting you a new one.

Me : yes, yes lets look at that... how do we do that ?

Tyler : I am showing two receivers, one is leased one is yours, this is the leased one, I can wave the new part cost and Fed Ex you out a new one that will arrive in 2 to 5 business days. There will ONLY be a shipping fee of $19.95 to cover the shipping cost...

Me : uh, Tyler... that's not going to be a workable solution. I know you're tech support and you're doing your job, but what I just heard was that your equipment failed and you're going to charge me to replace it, and I have to wait 2-5 business days at that. I am willing to pay for shipping only if its an upgrade to next day AM, otherwise no, and why would you charge to replace faulty equipment that is yours anyway.... I know you probably can't do anything so can you bump me to someone who can?

Tyler : well sir, it is just the shipping you need to pay, not for the part........

Me : I heard you, pay was the word I don't want to hear...

Tyler : I understand, I will transfer you to billing now..... have a great day and thanks for being such a long time customer........

Me : thank you Tyler, and I hope I get to stay that way.....

Hello, this is Becky, how may I help you ?

I repeat the situation to Becky, express my gratitude about Tyler doing his best and that his best was simply unacceptable. I then ask if she can do better. Long and short of it is that Becky discovers that I am listed as having two receivers, I only have one television and one receiver and she fixes this problem but can't help with anything else.

Me : so you cant wave the shipping charge and you can't upgrade the shipping at no charge or otherwise?

Becky : No sir, we have a contract with Fed Ex, everything ships the same and we can't change it. There is no place for you to go pick up a receiver unless you want to go to Best Buy and buy one instead of leasing.

Me : my wife is behind me dialing Time Warner Cable at this moment and if you can't do any better than that .....

Becky : Sir ( interrupts me with a new found sense of urgency in her voice ) let me transfer you to the retention department.... they have more access to things they may be able to do to help you..

Me : transfer away.....

Hello , my name is Danielle...... I see you have some faulty equipment issues , how can I help

(" Hello, my name is Inego Montoya, you killed my father, now prepare to die" " stop saying that " )

I run through the issues one more time. Daniell adjusted my bill, gave me a discount, removed the shipping charge but still could not upgrade the shipping or get me the equipment any faster.

Angie, my lovely wife, then gets hold of Time Warner, announces that she is an upset DTV customer, and asks what can they do for her.......

Time Warner then proceeds to offer us more channels for less money and upgrades our Internet service for free for a year as an incentive......

Angie then calls DTV and cancels the service as well as the new receiver... Someone comes on the line to attempt to talk her out of it. This gentleman offers her a $200 credit to our account as well as keeping the current arrangement of no charge shipping and a reduced bill, but he still cant get the receiver to us any quicker either.

FAIL......

Why is time such an issue....... well........ its bowl week for one thing and UK is playing Louisville on Saturday. With New Years being a day or two away and January one being on a Saturday we could expect that receiver sometime between the 3rd and the 6th of January.....

While I was writing this Direct TV just called to ask why they just received an order to cancel and offered to not cancel. I explained to them, again, the reason why. This time they offered to send an installer to the house today to put in a new receiver........

I told her that might have been of interest last night but we were told repetitively that the only way was to wait for the Fed Ex truck to arrive........ At this point, Time Warner is coming between 4 and 6 today to install and upgrade our Internet at the same time.....

possible pit falls........... still to come.........

Time Warner has a habit of wanting to charge for odd things........ if they try to charge for installing and becoming a new customer we will have to have a chat about that.....

Direct TV says they will send a final bill in seven days, that bill should only be about $20, if it is much greater then they are trying to charge a fee to disconnect my service or some such, then we will have to have a chat about that as well......

oh what fun.....

Of what use are the trees?

Girls and boys are different. Duh, I know. Women and men are different too. Whoa, not exactly a revelation either.

I have made an observation however that might not be quite as obvious.

There is not nearly as much of a difference between a girl and a woman as there is between a boy and a man. This is just my opinion as observed from my perspective.

Girls seem to become women rather abruptly, it just kind of happens one day. It is a common understanding that girls mature faster than boys, but I submit to you that the reason is because they never really have to change as much as boys do.

Before you go getting all Grumpy Guss with me, this is complimentary towards the finer gender.

Girls ( metaphor warning ) are like flowers. When they are young, they are beautiful little buds. As they mature they become blossoms, and then as they age they open up into mature beautiful flowers. Some flowers are strong and hardy and stand up well to wind, rain, drought, and frost, while others wilt easily. Some flowers thrive in harsh conditions while others only grow with constant nurturing and fertile soil. All are beautiful flowers none the less.

The boy to man transition is not nearly so attractive. Boys are ( another metaphor warning ) like nuts laying on the ground. They look almost nothing like what they might grow up to be, a tree. Boys first must learn to not get eaten by squirrels or they will never take root. Most do take root, but then we spend years and years growing o' so slowly as a sapling. During the sapling stage our outer protective skin is thin and scars easily, but this is wear the bark comes in. If we scar too much as a sapling we grow think and nearly impenetrable bark in our maturity. As young trees we are still green and relatively flexible, but as we age we become stiffer and harder and we don't conform as well as we used to. The transition from nut to tree is extremely different than from bud to flower. It is a whole lot slower for one thing, and it is a bigger transition from start to finish for another. ( again, this is my male opinion )

Another difference is that flowers have purpose, but trees have uses.

What kind of flower a girl becomes does not seem to affect the fact that she is a flower. ( not in my eyes anyway, but some might argue ) In contrast, however, what kind of tree a man becomes affects how the world views him.

Of what use are the trees, do we bear fruit? Are we cut for lumber ? Do we just drop our nuts randomly around the forest ? Do we stand strong against storms but still have enough sap in us to bend a little with the wind? Is our bark so thick and ugly that we go unnoticed? Is our canopy full of dead branches that fall and litter the ground? Are we to be burnt up to keep others warm ?

Of what use are the trees ?

The popular culture is so all consuming at times. It surrounds us with what we come to believe and understand as normal. Certain things envelope us every now and then and as the envelope encompasses our very being we don't always seem to understand the strangulation that this envelopment is causing. We find it difficult to resist the encroachment, particularly when we don't see anything amiss. We see what seems to be our entire world engaging the normal as if it were normal yet we don't feel right about something, somehow. We see our brothers and sisters whom we respect and seek guidance from following suit with the culture, yet we seem drawn away for some reason.

I know it is not against my brother that I should be fighting, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness that my fight lay against. The ignorance that is possessed blinds me from the truth that I seek, but as I endeavor to alleviate the ignorance of myself I find that my hand has been firmly planted on a bowl and that bowl covers a lit candle. As more of my ignorance leaves me during my walk to seek the truth the bowl becomes hotter and hotter until I must lift it and discover the light that is wanting to emanate out but I was keeping it in. The flame burns hot, but once I remove the bowl the radiance of the candle is warm and comforting. I feel pain if I keep the bowl too close to the flame now, so I wish to set the bowl aside and be done with it. When I do, I see things more clearly I think because the light floods the room. As the light floods the room I also see the things that I should avoid coming into contact with. I see the bricks sticking up out of the uneven floor just laying there waiting for me to stumble over them. Even knowing they are there, I must watch my step or I will trip and fall.

Having discovered the source of the discomfort in my hand, I also discovered the comfort and warmth of the light. I am eager to share this with my brother who is still shivering in the cold. I grab up the flame and take it to him but its radiance seems to burn his eyes and he recoils away from me. I feel sad because I have caused my brother pain, but I also feel confused. Why did the flame not burn my eyes, but rather burnt my hand until I let go of the bowl. I didn't mean to injure my brother, but he is wanting nothing to do with the light that is giving me warmth. He doesn't like the cold, but he doesn't know what the warmth feels like because he has not come close enough to it to feel warm. I am not discouraged, I take my discovery to another of my brothers to show him and share with him instead. I again grab the flame up and go running to him and exclaim," come , come see what I have found, this light, it helps you to see, it helps you to stay warm. " Again, this brother too covers his eyes and curses at me, he tells me I am a fool and I know not what I do. He asks me why I play with such foolish things, it wastes time and hurts people, surely no good can come from this.

I am left to wonder why as I approach my brothers , they will not hear me out. I wonder if my brother is not right and all I am doing is hurting others. I cant help but to wonder why they feel so differently than me. I think about picking the bowl back up and covering the light, but even as I reach toward the bowl it is now glowing red hot and I simply cannot pick it back up now. I do notice one other thing, as I was taking the candle to my brother, as I lifted it up, the higher I lifted it, the brighter it burned and the warmer the room felt.

I look around at all my family, my brothers and sisters. Many of them are cold and are stumbling around in the dark. Some of them seem to be able to find their way without falling, and seem to happy with their lives. Still others have no difficulty in life at all, never stumbling, never struggling, not seeming hungry, thirsty or cold like me. I notice these family members last because they seem to have not a worry. I respect them and look to them for guidance. I decide to take one more try to share my discovery and take the candle to a sister whom I respect. She does not shun me or flee as I approach with the light. I offer to let her hold it and feel its warmth and see the beautiful radiance that it puts off. She looks at it carefully and tells me she has no need for such a light. She has all she needs and while she isn't burned by the light like my brothers, she isn't warmed by it either. She tells me that she is fine fitting into this world, she has a flashlight to light her way and lots of clothing to keep her warm. She tells me that she is just like everyone else and it is okay if I want to be different, but she doesn't want to be different and carry around a candle. I pick up the flame a little higher and notice that it is very dark around her, but the things that are in the dark places don't worry about her. They just keep behind her as not to get in the way of her flashlight.

I wonder to myself, to me my sister looked cold and yet she has no use for the warmth I might bring to her. My brothers seem to struggle but I injure them by trying to show them a path. I cannot hide the flame that I have found because it hurts me to try and hide it again. What do I do with this candle now? After spending some time enjoying the warmth of the flame and sitting staring at its beauty, I again feel a chill in the air. I know that the flame burns brighter and hotter when I lift it up, so I find a loft in the room and climb up to the top, taking the candle with me. Once I reach the loft I sit the candle down in front of me, and it is burning brighter and warmer than ever before. After some time I notice a brother and a sister climbing up the ladder to meet me in the loft. They have seen my candle from off in the distance and wanted to come see what was making that light. They commented that the light felt warm and comforting to them and they wanted me to tell them where I found it. I shared with them my whole story, and they listened. Then my brother seemed to be uncomfortable all of the sudden. He and I both looked down at his hand, in his hand he had a bowl. I told him, pick your hand up and see what is under there.

My brother lifted his hand and under it was a candle with a flame. I explained to him the newest thing I had learned. Lift the candle up and allow people to see it and come to you, if you chase after those who are not ready they might flee. Share your candle with all who wish to see it, but you will only injure those who you chase after. Let them see your life by keeping the light held up high and let the light chase away the darkness and bring your brothers to you. Don't try and point out their faults while the heat is still chasing the chill from your own bones.

It is hard to be in the world and function in the world without becoming like the world. Many of my brothers and sisters carry a light that shines into dark spaces, but most of us do not carry the light high enough to shed light across large places.

I still have much ignorance left to shed and my candle has made it to the loft but not yet to the roof and certainly not yet to the mountains peak.

A day at the hospital

Spending the day at the hospital is never going to be a fun experience, but today did have its moments.

Here is the background. Angie was in for another 'procedure' today. We arrived at 9:30 for a 10:00 o'clock appointment and she was scheduled for surgery at 12:00. The surgery was supposed to last about 1 -1/2 hours so she was to be in recovery before 2:00. As is normal with the normal chaos that is our lives, at 6:30 they begin the process of moving her to a room so she can spend the night. Instead of being home before dinner, we are hoping to be home before lunch tomorrow.

So, since I have so many hours to kill, what am I going to do? Well, I can't leave until she gets into her room so I have until almost 7 o' clock to kill before taking Gracie her overnight bag and then beating a path back to the room to watch Angie sleep for a while. I don't have many options for entertainment so I settle on updating facebook regularly and watching the other folks who are populating the waiting room. Ah people watching, my favorite sport....

After Angie goes back I slide down to the cafeteria for a quick change of scenery and 1/2 cup of the worst scrambled eggs I have ever come across in life. I mean seriously people, how do you make scrambled eggs so tasteless , what is the trick with that ? While questioning from what foul these eggs were commandeered from, a young lady comes walking into the atrium. Now, let me paint the picture for you, I am alone in a room with about 15 tables. This room is off to the side and away from the main dinning area. I am perched up against a wall with my laptop out and my faux eggs minding my own business when a young blond lady walks into the room. She reminds me of Red Fox , or to be more accurate, she reminds me of Fred Sanford. She comes in holding her shoulder and neck and staggering around a bit. She walks to one edge of the room and grabs her shoulder and moans, well yells a moaning type sound. She then walks back across in front of me to the other edge of the room and has another yelling moaning episode. She then walks over to the table one away from mine, right in front of me and from a standing position lays her forehead on the table and lets out more yelling, sobbing moans. Over dramatic does not even touch this one as a description. I am sitting there debating what to do, I am thinking I should ask her if she requires any help but am not sure what to say. I start running over options in my head to try out what they sound like.

1. " what is wrong with you " ( nope, no way to make that sound good )
2. " do you need some help of some kind ?" ( nope, that's even worse than the first one )
3. " Miss, is there something I can help you with ?" ( closer, but still crass sounding )
4. " Is your name Sally ? and if so, were is Harry and have you two met yet " ( uh, no )
5. " Ma'am, can I be of some help to you ?" ( still a bit awkward, but passable )

Just as I had worked out what to say she turns to me before I have had a chance to speak and she starts talking. I think she was tired of waiting for me to process everything, but I wanted to be cautious not to seem a flirt, or seem a curmudgeon so I wanted to process things first, I guess she didnt have the patients for that, anyway, she starts.

" Oh, I am sorry, I am sorry, I don't usually cry in front of people ( cry, cry !! your yelping like a wounded water buffalo during peak mating season ) I didn't know what they were gonna do to take that x-ray. It just hurts, it really really hurts. Can I ask you something, I have asked like 30 people already and they all said no and I know you will say no too but they just wouldn't listen, would you listen to me please, my son is trying to raise money for a school fundraiser and they have all this neat stuff in here, if you would just look through it I would appreciated it, do you mind if I go get a cup of coffee, I'll be right back., oh it hurts , it really really hurts, I don't mean to talk so much I just talk when I am in pain and OHHHHH, I 'm sorry sorry sorry, I'm gonna get a cup of coffee and , I , they told me no caffeine with the pain meds, but, I'll be right back, do you mind if I get a cup of coffee? "

Now, she is gone for a few minutes, while she is gone I would like to point out that the entire above spoken paragraph was said in about one breath, maybe two but that would only be due to the brief pause to add more theatrics. To shorten this up, my friend is 29, has two children, thinks her neck is broken, and is hocking stuff in the hospital dinning room. While she is gone I here an intercom message come across about a clean up in front of the coffee shop. Yep, you guessed it, she spilled the first cup of coffee, too much pain to carry hot coffee with shaking and spilling it. We talked a little , we talked about church and she was going to take Angie's name to her prayer group tonight, I bought a bookmark and donated it to one of her prayer group friends, and she moved on to another table in the other dining room. Well, its 10:15 AM right now, this is going to be an interesting day at this pace.

Back to the waiting room I go. Nothing left to do but people watch.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you just really can't tell who is who and how old people are. For example, two ladies and a toddler, oh, 3 years old max would be my guess. You look at the two women and think, okay, the younger, relatively attractive one, the one who looks like she showered this morning must be mom, and the older one who showers every spring whether she needs to or not over there looking haggard and grumpy, thats grandma. But when it comes time for the patient to go back and both mom and grandma start addressing the toddler in third person, you are reminded not to judge, and please dont guess, because this isnt one you want to get wrong out loud. " grandma will be right back, just stay here with momma ?" Yikes,,,,


You look around and put people with people sometimes because you have nothing else to do. The next group is what I call ," the herd ". If you have spent any time at all in hospital waiting facilities, you have seen some variant of , " the herd " . Today's herd would be what I would call the redneck herd, or perhaps the , " larry the cable guy " herd. The herd is what happens when just a few too many people decide its a good idea to hang out all day at the hospital. One is lonely, two is company, three is getting to be a crowd, 18 is a herd. This group had about 4 women who I would call, tired looking, if you know what I mean. Then there were about 8 men there and oh I am guessing about 6 or so kids running loose barefoot around the place. The men all look the same in a way. They are the kind of men who sit around and belittle each others deer stands and poke fun at each others Bass Boats. These are the kind of men that if you say " Dale Earnhardt " within their earshot, they all take off their hats and place them over their hearts. Yes, they all had hats, that is how I could tell them apart, Mr. Budweiser frog hat was proud of his Ranger Bass boat and Mr. John Deere hat was proud of his deer stand. Mr. Bass Pro Shoppe was proud of the fact that he could stand today after all he drank last night. Mr. Built Ford Tough hat was proud of his truck , and Mr. Chevy Nascar hat was just as proud as he could be of his new teeth. He didn't say, but after seeing his little missus, I think I know what happened to his old teeth. As the group got up to depart I heard Mrs. John Deere hat say, " grab you youngen and com'mon, we need to get up to you maw's room now. Ah, what good boys they are....

While driving back and forth between the hospital and taking care of Gracie's supplies I passed through Turtlecreek Township. I noticed that there was no creek, I didn't even see a town, and I didn't run across even one single turtle. I also passed a street called Circle Drive. It was a dead end street. Well, that is how I spent most of my day today....


It is now after 11 and I think I may try to sleep a little...

good night....

A billboard advertisement

Or more to the point , ( the point of my opinion of course ) A billboard advertisement gone wrong.

I am going to attempt to carefully touch on a somewhat sensitive subject, so please bare with me and understand I mean no disrespect to any party. I will attempt to keep my opinion firmly focused on the monetary ( IE tax dollar ) side of this issue. I in no way have any issue one way or the other with the act or process that I am going to be compiling the following verbiage concerning.

So, I ask you, what is the point of advertising ? I believe the point is relatively simple in its goal. The goal of any advertisement is to convince you to buy a product or adopt a certain point of view. It is intended, sometimes, to educate you on the availability of a product, service, or the existence of a viewpoint in some cases. I think this is a pretty simple and liberal definition of the concept of advertising.

People advertise so you know their products name, and in most cases , why their product is superior and should be purchased by you. People advertise their services for the same reason. Some advertisements are to sway your opinion on a subject, like a campaign advertisement for example.

Now, using the above as a reference, we now have some idea why people advertise and who might be doing the advertising. Now, let me pose this question, who is paying for the advertisement?

In most cases, the cost of the advertisement, in this case a billboard, is born by the person doing the advertising. If Coke wants you to buy Coke and not Pepsi, then Coke pays for the billboard to attempt to convince you Coke is better, or maybe inform you of a new product that Coke has and Pepsi doesn't, etc. Its that simple. Now, if a arm of your state government puts up a billboard, what is it they are trying to do, and who is paying for that?

Well, the answer to this question is simple, the tax payer is paying for the billboard. What might they be attempting to accomplish? Why, the greater good of course. This has shown itself in the past with billboards reminding us to buckle up, don't drink and drive etc. I can see the point here, maybe we do need reminded that we should have our belts on, or face a ticket if nothing else. Maybe we do need reminded that drinking and driving is not real smart. Okay, I will buy that theory, even if its a bit of a stretch, I can see the greater good, or at least the greater good intentions there. If the billboards cost were to save so much as one life, or even minimize one persons injuries, its worth spending a few tax dollars on.

Now, to the reason for this random post. There is a billboard just down the street from were I work that bugs me every time I see it, and I have run out of patients with it today. The billboard is paid for by W.I.C. ( Women Infants and Children ) An honorable and worthy cause I am sure. I point out who paid for it only because it means it came not only from our tax dollars, but came out of their budget as well. Budget monies that I am sure could have been used for some other purpose. My question to you, and my problem, is this, is this billboard worth the money it cost to put up? Should that money have been used someplace else more productively? What are they trying to accomplish ?

Before trying to answer this question, let me tell you whats printed on the billboard.

No kidding:

BREASTFEEDING

WE DID IT, SO CAN YOU !

Okay , is it just me? Refer to above reasons to advertise, what are they hoping to do? And more to the point, why? If I was trying to decide whether or not to breast feed my child ( not that I have that option mind you ) would this at all suggest to me that it was a good idea? No, I think I would be offended by the phrase. I can find no legitimate reason to spend budgeted tax dollars in this manner.

Again, I am not making any statement about whether or not a women should or should not breast feed, that is entirely a decision that should be made as a family unit with some minor input from the husband, but ultimately the sole decision of the mother. I just think that when a Government funded agency wastes money people should ask why........

What are you looking forward to ?

Feeling a little melancholy and reminiscent today. Had dinner last night with a friend from high school. It was good to get to know each other all over again. It did, however, kick start my brain into thinking about things. So, I pose this question, what are you looking forward to in life..... I will list a few of mine in no particular order.....

1. Gracie's graduation from college,, or seminary. I cant wait to be sitting in the audience and hear, " Marilyn Grace Wilson....... Magna Cum Laude........ " and watch her walk across the stage. That is one thing I am looking forward to.
2. I am also looking forward to holding my wife's hand and wiping away her tears at Gracie's high school graduation.
3. I am looking forward to growing old in a small beach side condo on the edge of the Caribbean Sea with my wife living with me and my daughter collecting a lot of frequent flyer miles.
4. Living long enough to hear the words, " I love you Grandpa " That's one thing I am looking forward to.
5. Sitting with my wife at a big table and then getting called up to go dance with my daughter at the father daughter dance at Gracie's wedding. I hope I can still walk, but if I cant walk then I will just have to learn to fly because I will be dancing with my daughter on that day.
6. Standing with my wife OUTSIDE the delivery room as WE wait on the birth of our first grandchild. This is one day at the hospital that I am looking forward to. I know both Angie and I will tell Gracie, " I hope you get a child, JUST LIKE YOU "
7. Growing old with my true love, that is one thing I am looking forward to. We can share cholesterol medicine, we can share that seat thing in the shower, as long as we don't have to share dentures, I am looking forward to growing old together.
8. One day a nice boy will sit me down and tell me how much he loves my daughter. He will be a good boy with a job and a strong moral compass. We will talk about my daughter and what he needs to do to remain among the living. I will tell him about Jimmy Hoffa and how they still haven't found his body. This is something I am looking forward to.
9. One day I will be sitting in the sun and thinking back on my life, and I will be happy. The sun will feel warm on my face and the beauty all around me will permeate deeply into my spirit. I will fall asleep right here and be awoken a short time later by the words, " well done My good and faithful servant" This is something that I am looking forward to.

Just thoughts......

I didn't really have anything earth shattering to say or any one topic to bludgeon but I have not blogged in a while so I just felt the need to spout off about nothing in particular..

• Health care reform has passed. The means of passing it were more than a little ugly, and people seem to be genuinely surprised that the people have reacted bitterly and in more than a few cases violently. Please don't insult us by faining surprise. Politicians will pay with their offices come the next opportunity, and that will be true regardless of how they voted on health care. The system suffered a high profile systemic failure. Everybody (almost) wanted some kind of health care reform because most people realize the system sucked and was broken. This is not a fix, however, its a control issue. What passed ( and really, who knows what passed, nobody really even knows yet ) doesn't even claim to have a mechanism to reduce the cost of insurance or the cost of health care or the cost of prescriptions. It does have a system to 'force' everyone to have insurance. Don't misjudge that statement either, the government is going to give you insurance, subsidise part of your insurance or just verify that you have insurance if you can afford it. Guess who decides if you can afford it, the government. If you cant afford it, guess who decides how much of a subsidy you get, the government. Guess who decides who gets a free ride, again, the government, in their infinite wisdom of course. Some people would argue that employers are going the be the ones paying, so why do I care. Even if your employer did pay before, they are going to have to pass the cost on somehow to someone, and if they didn't but are pickled into doing it now, its going to cost you. Yes, there are some nice things allegedly in the bill, pre-existing conditions being eliminated is one of them. That is nice, and yes it is a good thing, but it is also an unfunded mandate so what makes anybody think its going to make the cost go down? The prevailing theory seems to be that since the pool of participants will go up the cost of insurance should go down. In a free and competitive market this would be true, and we can debate how free the market is (its not) but there is no real competition at all to even attempt to drive the cost down. The second theory is that people will stop using emergency room services that they end up not paying for because now they can just go to the doctor instead and still not pay for it. This Ponzi scheme does shift the funds around (slight of hand though it is) so that the hospitals can avoid getting stuck with the tab and the doctor actually gets paid, but I ask again, what is the impetuous for either the hospital or the insurance company to lower the price. Yes they will have more paying clients and less waist, which might might might mean they make more money and higher profit margins so they could afford to spread the wealth back down and lower the cost, but without competition to drive that your asking the scorpion not to sting the frog on the way across the river. Its not gonna happen. This bill does come with some interesting funding as well. It taxes tanning bed users a 10% surcharge. While on the surface I have no issue with placing a specific tax on a specific item to generate funds for a specific and applicable reason, this one is a stretch in that it is based on loose science and statistics. Most people will buy the thought that tanning beds increase the risk of skin cancer, proven fact or not. The problem lies in following the pattern the rest of the way, are these folks then a drag on the medical system in large enough numbers that they should need to defray the cost? With smokers, this makes sense, but with tanning bed users the equation seems to fall apart, except in the reality that somebody was grasping at straws trying to find funding for their personal legal triumphs. As a side note, I don't endorse random violence, but please dear government and media please understand something, your dancing with flame in a gasoline suit right now, people feel betrayed by you in large enough numbers that something has to give. If there is not a mass exodus of personnel out of Washington with the next vote, look for more violence and destruction to follow as the frustrated subjects rise up against the broken system.


• Gracie has made great progress this year in school. She is reading now very well. She has a standing homework assignment where she is supposed to read for at least 20 minutes each day. She has mostly been reading her Junie B. Jones books. ( Mrs. looked up at the ceiling, I looked up there too but I didn't see anything) but she also made a request of her parents the other night. She made us and offer we couldn't refuse so to speak. Gracie knew that two of her friends had gotten new bibles, and she knew that dad was going to church early now so he could take a men's bible study class before service started. She asked that if she went to the kids class and read her bible could she have her own big girl bible. Color me suckered 'cause she has a new bible. It is admittedly not a King James version, but it is far from a story book bible either. Its a real live chapter and verse bible. Gracie has made it thru Genesis 3 at this moment. The deal is she reads for 20 minutes and then dad reads to her what she just read in case there are questions or things that require more effort. I am so proud of her I could bust, even if I did get suckered into spending 40 bucks.


• Gracie has also signed up for a one day, and one NIGHT youth camp through our church. This should be interesting. Gracie has only slept away from us twice and both times it was just several houses down the street. This is going to be miles away. A camp like this is going to be really good for her, she will have to build more on those independent functioning skills and rely and trust more in herself and learn the ability to seek help from her peers when required, all those growing up things. Its a safe place with lots of youth workers, volunteer staffs, councilors, and youth pastors, so I am fine with the idea, but having my Boogs so far away for a day and a night is going to be tough on mom and dad, probably worse on us than her truth be know, but don't tell anybody OKAY !!


• Big Lots has some nice and reasonably priced patio furniture. This random fact brought to you only because it caused a temporary cease fire in the nagging process. By temporary I mean momentary, or actually perhaps it was imaginary. Yep, that's it, an imaginary cease fire in the nagging process. Focus switched instantly to the accoutrement that goes with a patio set, including but not limited to a fire pit. Oh, the ' replace the carpet that has been dog ruined, but paint the whole upstairs first, I am not nagging but are you done yet" also started this weekend. Wasn't nagging cause for stoning in biblical times? Could we look into bringing that back please? I think the Supreme Court is still male dominated enough that they would uphold such a thing, don't you?


• I borrowed an electric chainsaw to cut down some bushes in my yard this weekend. ( yes it is part of the project mentioned above ) There is something oxymoronish about an electric chainsaw. There is something inherently unmanly about it. No gas fumes, no mixing oil and gas and releasing puffs of blueish greenish smoke into the air because of the mixture being off. No smell of the chain lube cooking off as it burns against the motor body. No dead spot in the grass where you spill the poorly mixed oil and gas mixture. None of the manly man stuff that goes with a chainsaw. I felt like I should be in heels, hose and a skirt while I was chopping down these shrubs. Actually maybe the term should be electrically sawing the shrubs down. Chopping implies a much more manly endeavor than what I did. Anywho, the mass o' dead shrubs ( dead because me kilt 'em ar ar arrrr) has been dragged to the street. ( should that have been drug, drugged, dragged, or dragathed to the street?) I just hope that the waist collection people feel it in their hearts to haul them off this week. I have been told that they will do so, only if I tie them up first. Tie what, its a whole bush, 7 whole bushes to be exact. Each one is too big to tie to another bush and tying up just one bush doesn't maketh sense to me, its not going to get any easier or smaller, just because I engage in a bondage scene with mother nature. (ewww, I know, too far) If I do end up having to bind them up, I think I will go purchase some yellow ribbon and tie it in a bow, maybe the neighbors will at least get a chuckle that way.


• If you have to cross your legs to avoid flashing your who who at the pastor, your skirt is way to short. Just sayin'.


• I purchased 6 solar lights shaped like itty bitty pagodas to go around the patio. ( again, an imaginary nag stopper ) Is there something just wrong with the phrase , " solar lights " or is it just me. It seems redundant or something. I realize there are lunar lights, artificial lights, florescent lights etc etc. but solar lights are not lights of the sun as the name implies. Lunar lights are light from the moon, artificial lights are light caused in an artificial manner, one would think that solar lights would be sun light, but no. They are really artificial light that is powered by a battery that it just so happens was charged by the sun. I think we should call them wireless lights and get it over with.


• The madness of March is almost over. I have survived yet another year. Its not that I don't like basketball really, its an okay sport. It's mildly entertaining for the most part. The thing that gets my boxers in a bunch is just the shear volume of it all. You have all the tournaments that precede THE tournament. All those po-dunk ( pun intended) conferences that you don't care about any other time. Those conferences with George Mason, IUPUI, Southwestern Idaho Agricultural and Knitting University and the like. These are immediately followed by a selection show in which the field is narrowed down to only, ( yes only) 64 teams. ( actually its 66 teams since the added a play in game) Then the talking heads of sports spend the next little bit of forever arguing about the 3 teams who didn't make it. This continues for weeks or until some Cinderella makes the case that they can actually play, then everybody shuts up. At the same time, in interest of gender equality, the same thing is happening in a women's league. AND at the same time, the NIT, or Not In Tournament tournament is getting underway. AND the division 2AA II NIAI or whatever division it is also is playing on ESPN 18, subtitles in Spanish. Just in case this is not enough ( its enough already ) they have a 3 point competition and slam dunk contest just to kill a few minutes between games. Next year, rumor has it, that the tourney is going to expand one whole tier, that's 128 teams, or 130 if they keep the play in game. Next years play in game will be the Ag-ed nuns from St. Agathas vs. the winner of the prison league play off in Idaho. Go Ag-ed nuns go......... Good thing is, its almost over, bad thing is the only thing on television will now be baseball. Oh dont get me started on that primadona train full of losers.......... ( sorry Patti )

Well, this has been random, but this blog is called Normal Chaos so you should be used to me by now.

" Its the economy stupid"

I love that quote !!

I just wanted to take a quick minute to share with you some of my ideas for saving your hard earned money. In these tough economic times, every penny counts and we all could use a little more disposable income. Do you remember that term, disposable income? That was the money that was left after bills and needs that you could ' dispose' . Now that money is called, ' economic stimulus'. Also notice that neither stimulating the economy or disposing of income translates well into saving for retirement, rainy days, or emergencies.

So, here are a few tips from the mind of me:

1. Toilet paper is expensive when you get right down to it. We use a lot of it, and for what ( don't answer that ) it gets used one time and thrown away. Seems a waste to me, does it not. We even get upset if throwing it away doesn't work like its supposed to the first time, clogged drain and all that. Well people, we don't have much choice in this matter, not every home comes with a bode (SP?) , leaves and grass are not going to do the trick on a daily basis, so what are we to do? We can buy in bulk, size matters when it comes to pinching pennies. We can shop sales, use coupons, stock up when these stars align just so. In my infinite wisdom, I have a better suggestion, however. Don't poop at home. I mean think about it, in our culture of wealth redistribution it makes sense to have somebody else pay for the toilet paper. Do you have a job? If you do, wait till you get to work. It might take a little while to reschedule your body clock to feel the need during the beginning and the end of your work day, but once this has been done you can minimize this wasteful expense, at least in terms of spending your own dollar. Ever take road trips? You just cant drive hundreds of miles without finding that McDonald's has the cleanest and most convenient bathrooms around, and guess what, I bet there is one of those golden arches just up the street from you. Let them pay for your toilet paper.
2. Speaking of McDonald's and other such fast food restaurants. Go take a look in your refrigerator at the condiment shelf, now go look in your pantry for such items as sugar, artificial sweeteners, coffee creamers, etc. Why are we buying these things when we can get them for free from these restaurants? We can accumulate a wide variety of ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauces and coffee creamers, not to mention sweet - n - low and equal, just by asking for or acquiring a few extra each time we are in one of these establishments. Heck, if you use the local Mickey-D's as your daily potty stop, you can have a plethora of condiments in no time. You might need to look around a while to find things like pickle relish, but Long John Silvers is a good source for free vinegar and tartar sauce. Is this stealing? No, its wealth redistribution, now that the corporate world is awash in bailout money supplied by our tax dollars, its really our stuff to begin with, right?
3. Next we have another paper product waste. Why do we spend money on napkins and paper towels? These items are not required like toilet paper is, there are an abundance of suitable substitutes that cost little or nothing by comparison. Do we just need to have that handsome Brawny man in our cupboard to look at once in a while? What exactly is the deal with that anyway. Unless you frequently dine while naked, you have a sleeve or a shirt tail to wipe your mouth on, and pants to clean the grease off your hands. For you ladies who really don't want grease on your skirts, or you metro guys who are wearing white linen pants or silk cargo shorts, you can still use a dish cloth instead of paper. It works just fine, better for messy meals even, and you can toss it in the washer with the next load of towels.
4. Speaking of washing machines, dryers and towels, there is another waste that can save you money. First off, when you get out of the shower, your body is clean, wet, but clean. Once you dry off, you usually toss the towel aside in a pile or hamper where it waits until it gets washed. Dear wives, I have a secret to tell you, the towel you used for your shower this morning, you husband re-used when he got home from work. Why? Well, its clean, and by now its dry, so why not. Washing it uses water and detergent, drying it uses electricity, both of which cost money, its a waste. You could do this too, one towel could last the two of you all week if you just keep hanging it up to dry. Imagine the savings of only washing one load of towels a month, instead of two a week. And as for dryer sheets, never never ever take them out of the dryer. Just keep re-using them. If you have 4 used dryer sheets in there, they will work better than one new one. You don't have to take them out of the dryer, they sneak out on their own and find their way into our socks and underwear, let them escape on their own.
5. If your like me, you need to get up and go to the bathroom most every night in the middle of the night. A little money saving tip here, pee in the dark. Hey, it may only be two cents a year, but that's two cents you saved, you can buy two thoughts with that money.
6. Grilling out is another one. Do you have a gas grill? If you do, I just bet that neighbor down the street from you does as well. You know the guy I am talking about, the one with the Lexus in the driveway and the Harley in the garage, he has a gas grill too. Keep your eye on his grill and when he gets a new tank, take your half empty tank down at night and switch it out. He will think the tanks just don't hold as much as they used to, and you can save yourself 20 bucks a pop every time you do this. Isn't that theft you say? NO no no, its just letting your neighbor stimulate the economy a little more by redistributing his wealth instead of your own. Don't get caught however, if he owns a Harley he just might whoop your behind if he sees you.
7. My daughter Gracie informed me the other day that she needed some new bowls for her to eat cereal out of in the morning. I took her shopping and bought her the one she wanted. Why? Because she is spoiled rotten that's why. When I was a kid I had to wait till the butter was gone to get a new bowl. Heck, by the time a year had passed I had a twelve place matched set of bowls. I took them with me to college even. When I got married my wife tossed out my bowls. I have eaten soup and cereal in them for almost 20 years, and never had to buy a bowl, ever. You can do this as well, the small Land O Lakes bowls even make good relish trays, just fill one of those up with olives and your good to go.
8. For reasons I don't understand, some people like to use paper plates. They especially like to use paper plates for casual dinning at home with items like pizza. The guy who delivered you pizza very thoughtfully brought it to you in a box. Why cant you just use the box lid like normal people huh? Just rip it right off there and wa-la free paper plate. Have three guests? Cut the box lid in four pieces, it works just fine. Well, some people use a knife to cut their pizza and this is difficult to do on 1/4 of a box lid. Stop being a commie and eat pizza like a red blooded American, you don't cut pizza, just grab a hunk and have at it. Stop wasting your money on paper products, save a tree, use the box lid.
9. Believe it or not, water costs money. If you can learn to shave, shower, brush your teeth and pee at the same time, you can save real dollars every month. The trick to this one is that the shower cant take any longer than it did when you just showered and nothing else. Hot water not only costs water dollars, it costs gas dollars to heat it up as well.
10. The last tip is simple, boycott Hallmark and American Greetings and any other card maker. Stop sending cards, those little pieces of folded paper with 12 rhythmic words you don't really mean printed on them can cost anyplace from 99 cents to 6 bucks each. Then you have to part with nearly two quarters to mail the stupid thing. The person who gets it just reads it once, says, "aw, how thoughtful" and then tosses into the garbage. Instead of the card, give them a call to say what you really mean, spend some time talking with them. They will get even more out of it, and you will save a bundle of jack in the process. Don't forget to call on nights or weekends when you have unlimited minutes, unless of course they are already in your network and then it doesn't matter.

Okay, last thing, start charging for your services. This will help increase your income. So, if you put any or all of these suggestions into practice and save money this year, I would like you to send me 10% of your savings. I mean it was my idea after all. Oh, if you get beat up by the guy down the street, don't come to me with your medical bills, I told you to not get caught.

The time line assignment

Well Gracie has another project to work on. She has an assignment concerning a timeline. I don't know the details yet since I have not seen the actual assignment yet, but I have learned this.

She is supposed to gather some pictures of herself, starting with birth, and then place them in order and then the class can look at how they have grown, and hopefully ( I am guessing here) begin to get a better understanding of how time works. They are also supposed to write down their birth weight and length as well, then current weight and height I think.

Anybody else see a problem here? There is one, hopefully a small one.

There may or may not be anyone who knows Gracie's birth weight, and length. Her birthday for that matter is just and educated guess.

This little eccentricity went unnoticed for just a brief moment, but now it is being handled appropriately and with great care and dignity. I hope it works out without causing any emotional backlash, but this is a topic that may be helpful and educational to all the kids in her class, or it could be a painful and damaging sequence of events, we shall see.

Gracie says , by the way, she wants to be a ' runway model-er '

I dont think daddy can handle that !!

Gracie's Restorodt

So today I get home and before I can even change clothes, Gracie drags me over to her play room door. In front of the door is a sign that reads....

Grace's Restorodt

She says to me,,,,

" come ,,, sit down and enjoy, order like in real life.... I really want your business "

Well, what dad could turn that down huh?

So I enter her Restorodt and sit down at her oh so tiny tea table, you know the kind that fit them just right but put your knees up near your ears, yeah, that kind.

The table is set, table cloth ( blue bandanna ) fork and knife, ( one pink plastic, the other blue ) she then hands me a menu. She must have spent half the day concocting this menu.

She says to me........

" What would you like...."

I then peruse the menu for a while, it takes me a minute to translate because she did this all on her own, her own imagination, as well as her own spelling. After taking a bit too long she says to me.......

" Why don't you order a drink first while you decide, the drinks are here at the bottom"

( okay, I am now certain that we eat out too much)

I order sweet tea....

She then goes, gets a yellow plastic tea cup and a pink princess tea pot and pours me some tea at the table. She then asks.......

" would you like a lemon?"

" no thank you " I reply

( Really, we need to eat at home more, this is ridiculous )

I then order spaghetti with a cup of vegetable soup.

She searches and searches and cant find a suitable cup for a cup of soup. She then asks me if a mug would be okay. Well of course it is.

She then presents me with a kool-aid mug with a plastic leaf, a plastic potato, and a plastic carrot stuffed down in it. Ya know, she really made vegetable soup, plastic though it was, she hit on the ingredients pretty darn well. While I was chewing on my lettuce leaf she hunted me up a pink plastic plate and went over to her stove to cook up the spaghetti. When she noticed the lettuce leaf in my mouth she abruptly expounded upon the fault in her service.

" Oh no daddy, I forgot to give you a spoon, you need a spoon for soup"

She quickly brought me a yellow plastic spork to enjoy my Kool-aid mug full of plastic vegetable soup. Then back to slave away in her kitchen.

A minute or two later she plopped the plastic spaghetti, sauce included, on the pink plate and served it from the right.

I continued to enjoy my meal until I had satisfactorily consumed all the delicious delicacies supplied by my little Hunan entrepreneur. Once finished I arose fulfilled and satisfied with my fine dinning experience. However, now this is priceless. She now informed me that this was a restaurant, just like real life, and I needed to tend to my bill. She had manufactured a check out station from a pink two step stool with a compartment in the high step. She opened her " register" to present me with a bill for twenty dollars and 30 cents. She settled for 4 quarters and 3 dimes, but I was impressed by the fact that she actually had written me up a tab. Something tells me that daddy is gonna get suckered into this every once in a while.

Once it was done, I requested that I be able to take the menu with me. She asked why, and I answered that if I took the menu home with me I could be prepared for later and maybe drop in for carry out. She then informed me that if I call ahead, she can deliver. The truth is that I wanted the menu so I could share it with you all. She obviously put a lot of time and effort into it.

Grace's Restorodt ( what the sign actually read outside her playroom )

• Sasue and chips
• makenrone chees
• fish stiks
• vecndbre soop ( vegetable soup, I needed a minute on this one)
• sofla (souffle, I didnt know she knew that word )
• spagetee
• sweet tea
• woater
• dokd peper ( doctor pepper, one of daddy's favorites)
• coke
• Grace's thick milk ( whole milk )
• Milk
• Choklet milk
• smootheez
• bnanu smoothee (banana smoothie )

Maybe its just me, but this list was priceless.

Maybe its just me, but I think we need to eat at home more.

Maybe its just me, but I am proud of her effort and imagination. Yes the spelling is terrible, but she was playing, not applying herself under a school situation or with any supervision what so ever.

It amazes me that not so long ago she could not even say a lot of these words, now she forms them into large complex ideas and attempts to write them down to imitate " real life "

Slow down my dear Gracie, your growing quit fast enough, please don't rush it..... daddy likes having a little cuddle bug named boogs around. I don't think I am ready for a teenager with a job just yet.

Oh yeah, the end of the meal came with her saying,

" Please come again "

Chinese New Year 2010

It's that time of year again. That beautiful fortress at the rivers bend, the fortress guarded by a humongous arch has been calling and taunting us again. It is once again time to lay siege on the city of St. Louis. The Hunan hoard has begun to advance on the city. The Wilson Clan containing one division will approach from the east. The Collins Clan will approach from the south east with 4 divisions. The Hess Clan will approach from the south west with one division. The Ryan Clan will approach from the south with 2 divisions. The Martin Clan will approach from the west with a strong experienced 5 divisions. The advance scout party, the Thompson's, are waiting for us to join forces with their 1 division, and the Commodore (Grandma Kay, its her place ) The moat made by the mighty Mississippi could not stop us, the rush hour cavalry could not impede our progress. The many miles of barren wasteland could not keep us from this journey. . ( that would be Indiana mostly ) All the above Clans converged on the city. We met at Kay's condo and proceeded to lay waste to the St. Louis. We sacked, pillaged and plundered the area. Once this was accomplished we had a celebratory family meal together, confessed our allegiance to one another, reaffirmed our bonds to each other and then returned to our own kingdoms leaving the Thompson family to reign once more in the fortress city of the Arch.

Okay, maybe this isn't exactly how it happened, its just what it seems like in my twisted little mind. What exactly am I talking about? Well, since I have acquired a few new readers since last Chinese new year, please allow me to step back and fill in a little history for some of the folks.

My daughter, Gracie, was adopted from the Hunan province of China. When you adopt from China you usually have what is called a travel group. When we arrived in Beijing, we did so with something near 100 people. Our travel group was scattered around the hotel a bit but we did break off into groups when we went sight seeing. This was the beginning of our groups bonding. Then we traveled as a group to the city of Changsha, capital of the Hunan province. All 10 families of our group are now stationed on the same floor of the Dalton hotel. We spend several days getting to know one another. The life altering event of Gotcha day takes place in Changsha. Gotcha day is when the adopted child is handed over to their forever family. This group of young ladies were mostly, but not entirely, from the same orphanage. I think 8 of them were from YiYang and 2 of them were from Changsha number 1 ( I think). The most powerful single moment of gotcha day to me was when my wife proclaimed, "thank you JESUS" after Yi Meng Chang ( Marilyn Grace ) was put in her arms. From gotcha day on, a life bond was born between these young girls. One of the couples lives in St. Louis, hometown of our adoption agency, Children's Hope International. They very graciously invite all the couples to come to St. Louis to celebrate Chinese New Year every year. Mr. Thompson's mom, Kay has a nice condo that will hold the inflow of families. We spend some time together Friday, just letting the kids play, we have an activity Saturday followed by the traditional Chinese New Year family meal at Hunan Empress and a re-shoot of the red couch picture. Sunday is a little more time together, difficult goodbyes and then back to life. These girls call each other sister even though they share no blood. It is a beautiful thing to just sit back and watch. Oh, the red couch deserves a little explanation as well, the red couch is the traditional photo taken in Guangzhou where all the newly adopted kids are perched on a red couch for a photo. All the girls so look forward to these event every year, and another other opportunity to be with there "sisters". It just transcends cool in every way.

Well, enough history. Lets tell this years tale.

First issue, the dress. Angie bought a traditional Chinese gown for Gracie to wear. Most all of the girls and some of the adults are in traditional attire for the family dinner. Angie purchased the dress on January 6th. A few days before we were to leave town Angie contacted our friend Ann in China to see where the package was, it had not arrived yet. Ann was unable to help, so in a last ditch effort I had her order one overnight from China Sprout, it came the day before departure, it was too small. OOh no, Gracie is devastated, she doesn't want to not be dressed up for this important event. Super plumber Ninja dad and Super duper mom must know undertake the impossible. Find a traditional Chinese gown in Gracie's size in just a few hours, days before New Years, in a mid west suburb. Time for the Internet, and mommas memory. Angie remembers a little shop in a mall across town called Into Asia. I called and spoke with the Chinese store keeper. It was refreshingly comical to speak with her in her broken English. She told me, " you bring to me, her, we see, we fit, might have, bring her here?" Yes ma'am, we are on the way. Gracie got her dress, its the pink one. She looks beautiful, and mom and dad are hero's again, all is well.

Next the trip.

We travel to St. Louis. It takes us about 7 hours give or take to make this trip. 7 hours worth of Gracie wanting to talk because she is so so very excited, and seven hours of momma wanting Gracie to hush. I understand both of them, but at this point can barley tolerate either of them. I love my girls, but when they are at odds with each other in a confined space I feel like I am a terrorist being put in a chair under a light bulb, unable to escape. Angie decided she needs coffee, not just any coffee, but special coffee. Luckily for her, she has an app. for that. Out comes the IPhone. It gives her directions to some little coffee house buried in the back of a strip mall in Mt. Vernon. Gracie and I are just hoping this helps calm her nerves. Once arriving in St. Louis we used to same app. to find every snooty coffee house in Chesterfield. Anyways. Finally we arrive in the city, check into the hotel, and make our way to the condo.

From here on, words just don't work anymore. Even my excessively colorful verbiage falls well short of being able to describe the chaos, love, bond, chaos, playing, excitement, and chaos of the next few hours. This year there are only 6 of the usual 7 Hunans there. The 7th is in South Korea this year. They visited by computer link (Skype) for a while on Saturday. The girls missed Lia Joy this year, but they played together well all the same. It is so amazing to just watch them grow from year to year. There are only about 4 months difference in their ages so they hit milestones pretty close together. This year Gracie is one of the smaller girls. The others seem to have hit growth spurts a little ahead of her, but by and large, they are the same size. One of the subjects of discussion this time was the mystery of why are we all so determined to keep in contact with each other. I think we have no choice in the matter. Why? Well, God and 7 of His special princesses said so, that's why.

The trip home was reasonably uneventful. We looked forward to the comforts of home, our bed, etc. We had the usually series of potty stops and gas stops. By the way, don't stop when the sign says food and gas ahead, Sulfur Indiana. It is a trick. The gas station is a little too reminiscent of the movie Deliverance. Gator runs the gas station, I am sure of it. As for food, I'm thinking Possum was on the menu. I did not fill up here. We just locked the doors and u-turned in the middle of road. We made it with no casualties, which was in doubt a few times.

I also learned that if you walk into a Starbucks and request a VENTI CHAMELEON SHENANDOAH BIRKENSTOCK RALPHY RALPHY DOUBLE FONZIE, they will actually make something and charge you 5 bucks for it. Who knew?

Just because.......

Here is the phrase..

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...



Say it with me...



Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...



It goes like this.



Just because you can ( long pause while raising one eyebrow like Mr. Spock) doesn't mean you should.....



Try it out loud one time ( remember the eyebrow thing !! )

So, what am I babbling about.

Chicken Sausage : ( yes its out there, but why)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Spandex: ( and you know who I am talking about )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Fried celery: ( Fried Zucchini, fried mushrooms, fried squash, okay, but fried celery pu-leeeze)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Peeing on a fence: ( now think this one thru, your exposing Otis to many unnecessary risks, the exposure itself, potential injury to sharp or windblown objects, or potential electrocution even)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Nose mining: ( I know you got a big greener stuck in there driving you mad, but unless your alone in your car you just need to refrain from going after it with your pinkie )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Going Blind : ( not going to explain or elaborate except to say this )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Leopard print Speedo : ( particularly frightening on the male who is overly endowed in girth, or simply overly endowed.)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should... ( has a certain ring to it don't it )

Braided back hair : ( nuff said )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Pabst Blue Ribbon beer bong : ( you know it wasn't good when you were 17, its worse now )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Doing " I'm a little tea pot" dance in an elevator : ( it really freaks people out when you do that, this is my handle ..... this is my spout.......)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Ramming into old women's carts in the grocery, yelling LAND SHARK and running away : ( whilst this is eternally entertaining, you might hurt someone, really you might, honest and for true )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Hannah Montana : ( do I need to elaborate here people !! )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Singing I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay while dancing around in a skirt with and axe on New Years eve in your front yard : ( don't ask, just don't do it )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Butt quarters, the drinking game : ( whole new meaning to sharing germs)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Head banging Karaoke to Bohemian Rhapsody : ( Galileo, Galileo........ I'm just a poor boy from a poor family......... I will not let him go, I will not let him go........ Mama mia mamma mia......... )

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

Waynes world Waynes world, party on ........ excellent.........

Things I have learned lately........

I haven't posted in over a month, doesn't seem like its really been that long but it has. I have been occupied with a variety of things but I wanted to take a quick minute to share some of the things I have learned ( or been reminded of ) lately..........

• Gracie will one day compete in the Winter X games. She went sledding on a real hill for the first time this weekend. She had no fear, just a thirst to try it, looked fun I guess. Her little body isn't heavy enough to create drag on the disc or wind resistance so she just picks up more and more speed. She out slid the course and ran up into the bushes her first two times down. Third time she hit the second hill too fast and sideways, after a double twist McFlip she planted face down in the snow. Even though she was giggling the entire time, once she pulled her face out of the snow she made two discoveries. First, a face full of snow is cold, she didn't like being cold. Second, everyone was looking at her with their mouth open because the flip thing was so cool ( Kewl even ) so she got a little embarrassed. With the help of Pastor Brian and Sav' ( a teen ) Gracie gave the hill one last shot, but then she was done for the day but she wants to go back and try again later, after she warms up I think.
• When friendships cant survive a difference of opinion, perhaps the people involved were not friends to begin with. Real friendships can survive a little strain after all. Real friendships can survive the knowledge that no two people agree on everything. I have been reminded lately of who my friends are. Some folks I don't see or talk to very often are still very much my good friends, others who I keep attempting to spend time with and talk with after an issue developed are being less than receptive. I always find it interesting to see God's pruning shears in action.
• Change is a bizarre and confusing animal. Things that you are certain are gone and lost for ever suddenly re-appear unexpectedly. My wife (Angie) and I have chosen to make this the year of reaching out. This is more my thing than our thing, but we are both engaging in the activity. It is certain that nothing will be as it was, or even normal, but a new normal is just fine. I have made contact with three long lost relatives, one of which I never really even knew. I am still working on building a relationship with a cousin that was lost to me for nearly 10 years. The newest 3 cousins I have just made initial contact with in the last few weeks. Relationship building is the goal for this year and beyond. I have also accidentally made contact with a few people I used to go to school with, maybe new friendships can be built this year as well. This is the year of reaching out in my family. Just as an interesting aside, our church is having a year long sermon series called "Beyond". Its about going beyond and applying the knowledge, living the life, or dare I say, reaching out. It is always a good feeling to have affirmation and backing that what your feeling the need to do is the correct and right thing.
• Baking soda soaks dog urine up out of carpet, stain included, who knew?
• Socks soak dog urine up out of carpet too, but only if your wearing them at the time.
• People you help out and do things for will eventually take advantage of you. You must keep this in mind. Do it anyway, but you will need to remind yourself that your doing these things because it was the right thing, not because you wanted or expected recompense. If you do things for the wrong reason, you will surely be disappointed. Conversely, if someone does a service and kindness for you, endeavour your best to recognize their efforts even though you can likely never repay their kindness.
• Parenting and Patients both start with the letter "P".
• Homework and Hell both start with the letter "H".
• Never attempt to apply logic to children, animals, or groups. Group mentality is just as random as the others.

Enough for now, hopefully I wont wait so long before spewing more of these McNuggets of wisdom..........

Gotcha again.......

Well its time for that annual post, Gotcha day is upon us once more. For the uninitiated, Gotcha day is the day adoptive parents receive their new child, its like a second birthday, the day they their forever family begins. On January 10th 2005 a confused little girl of only 15 months old received the first embrace from her forever mom. She cried at first, but then she clung to momma with all she had in her. To this very day anytime Gracie is blue, frightened, or just needs held, she seeks and craves the safety and security of the love in her momma's arms. On January 10th, 2005 Yi Meng Chang became Marilyn Grace Wilson in that instant. In the photos below you see that moment, you can see the joy and tears in Angie as she cries out to our Saviour, "Thank you Jesus" as she embraces this long awaited little miracle of love.

It's so hard to believe its been 5 years since Gotcha day. It's so difficult to grasp that Gracie once was not part of our every waking ( and most sleeping ) moment. It is impossible to remember what life was like without her. In that instant, one single moment in time, her little life transformed a strong marriage into an impenetrable fortress of a family.

There are times when I feel sorry for Gracie. Her young life has been filled with so much pain, discomfort, tragedy, and confusion. More stuff than an adult should have to list, she has sluffed off much in her mere 6 years of life. Starting with being pulled away from everything she ever knew at 15 months and placed with people who looked different, sounded strange, but obviously loved her. Then just last week she had to endure yet another funeral as she bid goodbye to yet another grandparent, her Grandma Cheryl whom she had come to know and love.

As much as the years have brought dear Gracie challenge after challenge, the years have always been the losers, and Gracie has always been the winner. As many adversities as I can list, I can double the length of that list with a list of her triumphs. You simply can not keep Gracie down for long, you can not keep her in check, ( much to the chagrin of we her parents at times) Gracie struggles with many things, but brings us indescribable joy to watch her beat one obstacle after the other. I makes my heart leap every single time she conquers a new frontier.

In just the past year or so she has defeated many obstacles. These may not seem all that pertinent to most parents, it is just part of growing up for any kid after all, but with Gracie its different. Gracie has always been a little behind the curve on her physical development, she is 6 years old and hasn't broken 40 lbs. as of yet. At 15 months old she could hardly roll herself over, couldn't crawl, and had much difficulty with her fine motor skills and hand eye coordination. She is still a bit behind on those developmental things. That is why small things like her finally figuring out how to ride her two wheel bicycle was such a grand accomplishment this summer. She was down right angry at the fact that all her friends were off tricycles, off training wheels and flying around the neighborhood. In fact, ticked might be a word. With the help of a host of volunteers, but mostly her BFF Kate, she bore the bumps and bruises and worked it out this summer. This is just one small example of her drive and stubbornness to force any and all issues until she feels success. Learning to read, write, spell, tie her shoes, make her own breakfast, etc. etc. all fall into the same kind of fierce drive to achieve. I find it such a joy to watch her proudly go after item after item. I fear the teenage years however, this same stubbornness may kill us all, but it is who she is and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My dearest Gracie, I love you....... I hope this next year brings you even more joy and fewer pains........

Funeral.....

This will most likely be an incoherent rambling about my life the past week or so. It will be one of those posts that let you see inside me a little. You may not want to be inside my head, or inside my heart, and some of you may read this and just be more confused, thats okay, its confusing in here, so you will have company without a doubt.

Most of you know my mom died on December 23rd. There was no autopsy so the exact cause remains unknown, but the exact cause is also not important. Mom, Cheryl Wilson to those who dont know, has been on dialysis for around 5 years, she chose to do this when her kidneys failed even though she was never on a donor list because she was not able to have a transplant. She also had 14 heart stints, 3 of them in the left main artery, that only has relevance to the few people who know what that means. For the rest of you, the Cleveland Clinic is the only place an obese women over 50 can get a left main stint, all other hospitals call it too high risk, or just impossible. Mom also had various metal plates and pins holding her appendages together, as well as a bad case of diabetic neurapathy. She had several eye surgeries as well, and was mostly blind, a hole in one ear drum, so she was nearly deaf as well. She was on oxygen 24/7 and slept with a CPAP machine so she could breath when she laid down. Mom held on to life with both hands and with God's help. She made the decision years ago that she wanted to first, meet Gracie, and then spend time with her so that Gracie could get to know her grandma. She also was afraid of leaving dad alone. Well, once she undertook this fight the battle lines were drawn, and mom won hands down. Gracie loves her grandma and knows her well. Dad is a mess without her in the house. However, dad is going to adjust, he is much stronger than anyone, myself included, could have ever imagined.

Some background here, dad is the original Wilson introvert. He defined the term, and then expanded upon it. He is one of the guys who just does, he doesnt say, he just does. Talking and communication are not strong points, or even needed most time, just do what is required. When Winston Churchill coined the phrase, " its not enough to do our best, sometimes we must simply do what is required", he wasnt speaking of my dad, but he might as well have been. For years now, dad has just been doing what is required. As time has progressed, I have learned ( oh so slowly have I learned) more and more about my dad and what he is capable of just doing. I had never seen him so happy, tearfully happy, as when we first told him about Gracie. This record display of joy was soon eclipsed by the introduction of Gracie to grandpa some many months later. When we landed at the airport after our long journey to China, it was just a little awkward in knowing that no blood relative of mine or of Angie's family was at the airport waiting for us. Angie's family were all gathered at the hospital because in just a matter of hours Angie's dad was going to pass to go be with Jesus. No one from my family was able to come because it was too physically challenging for them to make it down there so early in the morning. My grandparents dont drive at night, and mom was not well enough to make the trip. All of this said, I did wonder why dad didnt come down by himself, but I know him and the introvert he is, he wouldn't make that trip alone. I now believe that to be wrong, I think that maybe he didnt want to make the trip alone because it wouldnt have been fair to mom, so even though he was busting inside to see Gracie, he did was was required, he just did.

Let me back up some. I use my cell phone as an alarm clock. (I have a back up in case this doesnt work) I went to bed with the intention of going to work the next day. At midnight or so the phone apparently rang and I must have thought it was morning, too early to rise, so I shoved the phone under the pillow and went back to sleep. At 3:30 A.M I heard a loud bang on the door downstairs. Bleary eyed and now frazzled I staggered downstairs adorned only in my boxers to see what was going on. I remember thinking to myself I should put something else on, but deciding that whomever would knock at this hour would survive the sight of me in my draws. When I peeked out the window and turned on the light I saw two Hamilton Township Cruisers on the street. I opened the door to two officers who simply said, "call your dad, he needs you, your mom is in the hospital" The second officer must have noticed my deer in the headlight expression because he repeated it a few times, " call your dad, call your dad, call your dad." I have run to the hospital many many times before, I have received this call many many times before, it has never been pretty, but this time already seemed different. Once I got back up the stairs I found my phone in the bed and noticed I had 32 missed calls. Not a good sign. I checked the number and it wasnt one I knew. Just then it rang again, it was moms good friend Jolina. She told me to get there quick and told me where to go, bless her for being able to be there. I knew before I even got out of the driveway that I was too late to see mom one last time, but I also knew I needed to get there for dad. On the car ride over there I gathered my strength through my faith because I knew I was going to need to be strong. I knew mom was gone without being told so, and I knew that her faith will land her with her Father in eternity, so I was able to feel peace in that sense, I just needed strength for this world at this time, and it was provided in good measure. I knew I needed to call on Him for strength now because I had been here before. In 1988 or so I rode with my grandparents to meet up with both mom and dad in the hospital after a car wreck. First I saw dad, he was bloody but doing fine, then grandpa took me to see mom. I was not fine, I stopped breathing entirely. I froze, my chest tightened, my body spasmed and I stopped breathing. I staggered out of the room and tried to breath but couldnt, grandpa drug me into a bathroom and splashed cold water on my face and talked me into taking a breath. That breath hurt my lungs and everything else, my body was in acute physical pain. Later on a doctor explained that I had a severe anxiety attack and if I has blacked out I would have started breathing again on my own, so it wasnt too serious, but if they became a patterned behaviour, I would need help. I lied and told him that it had never happened before, well, almost a lie, that was 100 times worse than anything that had happened before but it wasnt an isolated incident either. I havent had anxiety attack in years, but I could little afford one right now, so I leaned on my Saviour to provide me with peace and my request was granted ten fold, shaken down and running over.

When I arrive at the hospital, Jolina is waiting for me outside. She has been crying, alot, but my suspicions are re-inforced by her body language. She doesnt say it verbally but I know mom is gone already. As she takes me to the room I see all the nurses at the nurses station look up at me with that sense of knowing, they know what they assume I do not, they make eye contact and then look away as not to let their eyes say too much to me, its too late for that ladies, too late. As I open the curtain, Jolina tells dad that I am here, and then she steps back outside. I focus my attention on dad. He is so weak at the moment, he comes towards me and buries his head in my chest and said, " she didnt make it, momma didnt make it, she fought, she fought hard, the doctors fought and fought, they brought her back 4 times, but she didnt make it." It was a strange experience for me, dad had always been, and tried to be, the family stone, the strong one, but in this he didnt have the strength to even pretend, he just let me be strong and comfort him. This is a roll I was well prepared for. He then told me to go see her and he left the room. I sat next to my mom and prayed over her lifeless body for a moment. I laid my hand on her head at the end and simply said to her, " and now you are at rest, and now you will awaken healed, in Jesus name, Amen." The trauma nurse that was trying to be discreet and get things put away and the tubes removed, etc.. was still in the room, he heard me and hit his own silent tear filled melt down, he left the room quickly and a lady nurse came in to finish removing to tubes a little while later. I dont think I said anything wrong, so I hope he was touched by the Holy Spirit and not something else, but I have never seen a nurse leave a room so fast.

Dad, Jolina and I talked for a while longer in the hallway. Actually dad rambled and we listened would be more accurate. We were both just trying to comfort him. He went back in one last time after the charge nurse asked if he wanted to donate any organs. Moms cornea were used to bring sight back to two local people. That was the only body part that was not destroyed by her disease or blunt trauma of her car wreck. I then took dad home for a few hours. He wanted to be alone, we introverts are funny that way.

A few hours later I was back at his house to take him to the funeral home, the cemetery etc. He needed to make arrangements. Nothing was preplanned, but he knew what she wanted. The funeral director was a horses ass in my opinion. You would think that people in that line of work would have more of a clue how to deal with people, this Frau Blooker had no clue. I finally had to get a bit testy with her because she kept pushing dad for answers, he couldnt speak, his wife had only been gone for a few hours, give the man a minute would ya!! Dad was still doing what was required, I was still being strong. I wasnt numb mind you, but I could feel external strength pour into me every time I needed it. Together we picked a casket, picked flowers, etc.. Dad knew what he wanted, he just had trouble saying it sometimes. I had to translate for the Frau a few times. ( I keep hearing horses neigh every time I say Frau Blooker )

Dad picked the cemetery plot, he picked on right in line with the WLW radio tower which litterly towers over everything in the area. He said he wanted that because he could look out his back door and see the tower and know where she was. ( Again, he surprised me )

We went to lunch together, just the two of us. This might seem an insignificant thing to most, but I dont remember the last time, if ever, we just went out to lunch the two of us. Even when we were in Cleveland Clinic, or some other hospital, I would go eat alone or with my grandparents, he would stay with her and either eat with her, not eat, or eat alone late in the day. Dang those introverts. During lunch dad said more words that I can remember him saying in the last year. He didnt impart much information, but he just needed to talk, and talk, and talk. It was good to just hear his voice.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this I got charged with making the phone calls, acquiring a pastor for the service and a few other items. It was good that he not only allowed me to help, but he asked me to do the things he was not able to do. He also warned me that he wasnt sure how he was going to get through the visitation, he didnt want to talk to people yet and he doesnt do well in social settings so this was going to be tough on him. I told him I had him covered and I could do anything that was required. ( I did inherit that trait, I too am an introvert, I too just do what is required, damn the cost )

I do not mean to be disrespectful, but there are a lot of things about these events that just have a humorous side to them. There, you have been warned...

While dad is in the dialysis clinic speaking with moms nurses, I start making the phone calls for him in the car. I had to call about 30 people. It is hard to make these calls but I also understand it is hard to receive these calls, particularly if you dont really know the person calling you. People making or receiving the calls struggle for the appropriate things to say. Some people do well with being appropriate, others do not. Case in point, one lady I called said, " MAYBE she is not in pain anymore" ( I kid you not ) I simply said, " I'm pretty sure she's not". One of my wifes sayings is " Lord put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth". That phrase came to mind as I finished up with her. Another lady just kept saying, " Bless her heart" which is appropriate if you say it once, or even a few times, after the 12th time, you have left appropriate and hit something else. The hardest phone calls were the ones to people I knew. I had to be the one to call Grandpa. They have now survived both of their children. You shouldnt have to bury your kids. Grandma has Alzheimer's so for days she just couldnt hang on to the information. She kept asking, Grandpa kept telling her, she kept re-living finding out for the first time, Grandpa just kept re-living it with her. Now that she sort of keeps the information, she just cries all the time.

Through all of this I had been able to rely on my strength as provided by God's grace. I was able to be strong and do what ever dad asked, I had been strong with calling Grandpa, moms best friend since they were little kids, all of that. I was strong with my daughter. I was able to do all things through Christ who was strengthening me. Well, God knows me too well. He knows I need help with all things, not just being strong. I have many pastors in my life. My first pastor, Pastor Mark, was going to do the service, mom had mentioned that to me in the past and I was able to arrange it with him. My newest Pastor, Pastor Brian, has only been in my life for a few short weeks, be he was already rallying the brothers and sisters to come and do a great service for my family. But there is another Pastor that God moved into action in this. A gentleman I have never met in person. Pastor Charlie Tuna ( Officially Pastor Charles Eldred ) from California. I have some odd and lovely bond with Pastor Charlie. We share an inexplicable brotherhood that just cant be defined or explained. Having never spoken with him I received a phone call from him. He called to pray with me so that I could hear the prayer and not simply know he was praying. Hearing his voice caused me to violently melt down. I sobbed for the first time, this release of angst was God reminding me that I needed to mourn in between the times I needed to be strong. I thank God for all the Pastors in my life, but I want to give a special shout out right here to Charlie for answering Gods call at just the right time... Thank you my brother.

The next part of the saga is the funeral home. I must admit that I was a little concerned about who would and wouldnt show up. Who could or couldnt is not really an issue, but what I didnt want to happen to dad was for him to be there and feel sad because the place was empty all night. I didnt think this would happen, but I knew it could. A lot of people live out of town, are elderly, cant stand the funeral thing right now, etc. All valid reasons to be certain. My concerns were quickly put aside as people came in one after another. I will mention only a few of them in this blog. I was happy for dad to see 3 of moms dialysis nurses come, it meant a lot to him that they did so. Many of moms friends were able to make it, most of them on their canes. Many of dad extended family ( long story, wont go there) showed up, that was good for him to see as well. Moms life long friend made it in from New Jersey as well. Then there were the people who came because of me. My boss not only came to the visitation, but both he and his wife made the funeral. This was a huge deal because this left no body to mind the store so to speak. They went the extra mile to find a stand in on the phones and came anyway, this was a big deal to me. I must also say I was surprised at seeing an old friend that I had not seen in many years. In my younger days three boys roamed Reading Ohio getting into mischief together. My mom really loved Dennis and Darin and we misspent our youth together. It was good to see Dennis and his wife walk through that door, I hadnt seen him in a few years, but he still felt he should come and I appreciated that, and it made my dad cry, which was actually good. I didnt cry at seeing him, I was just happy to see him. A little while later I saw the other one, Darin walked in. When I saw him I cried a little. I knew this was hard for him to be there, I know just how hard it was, but I wont share that. I went and gave the big man a big hug, not the manly hug either, it was the kind where I hoped he didnt notice my tears dropping on his shirt kind of hug. Then things got bad for me. I had seen a lady walk in with Darin and she froze me for a second. Momma Doris is her name. Momma Doris is Darin's mom. Momma Doris is a lady whom I have always had a tremendous amount of respect for. She raised four awesome kids mostly on her own. Momma Doris always had room for one more kid around though, and I took my turn being that kid. There has always been a special place in my heart for her, she was always there for me, and as hard as it was, she was there for me again this night. I didnt let her see my tears, but we talked pretty briefly and then I had to breath someplace alone for a minute to make the tears stop again. ( Damn introverts ) I had one more hard thing to do this night, my mom had asked me if in the past if Darin would be a pall bearer. Once he said he was coming to the funeral as well, I asked him, he said yes.

Note that just needs put someplace and here seems good. Fiber optic angels are tacky, do not send on to a funeral home, this has been a public service announcement. I dont care if they have a hair net and a light saber, they are still tacky. Also, please do not walk up to a casket and say audibly, she (they) look just like their sleeping. No they dont okay....... Also dont say they look almost life like, it make you sound almost like a person, but not quit.

Continuing on the lighter side of things, Gracie, oh my little Gracie. First, she took the initial shock pretty hard, but recovered quick. She understands the functional reality, she wont get to see Grandma anymore, but Grandma is not in pain or suffering anymore, she no longer needs wheels to move or a hose to breath etc. A dear friend called the day before visitation they took Gracie for the evening, so Gracie got to skip that to have a play date instead. This was awesome, thanks Judith and Jeff. On Christmas eve, Gracie wrote Grandpa a note, she made him her very own card, it said, " Merry Christmas Grandpa, sorry Grandma died, love Gracie"

I decided not to give him the card, at least not now. Gracie has a soft heart and expresses herself in a pure manner, if not in a tactful one.

On the way to the graveside Gracie asked, " where is the hole "

Before the funeral Gracie asked while trying to get a handle on things, " is Grandpa going to plant Grandma in his garden" when told no she said, " Is he going to plant her in our garden?" when told no she huffed, " where are they planting Grandma!!"

At the graveside Gracie asked if they were going to put her in the hole now.

Well, enough of the lighter stuff. Gracie did well at the funeral, she cried really big tears most of the time, but when it was done, it was done and she undertood.

Pastor Mark did a wonderful service, as I knew he would, but even my dad mentioned to me that he was glad Mark did it and said it was well d0ne. I wrote out something for Mark to read that my dad asked me to print off and give him a copy of , so I guess my part was okay as well. I need to thank Pastor Mark here too becuase it was so much easier than it could have been if I had to find someone who had never met mom and didnt know me or her. Pastor Mark did so well in part because he knew us, even though mom didnt attend his church, he knew us and had been to the hospital to pray with mom in the past. Thank you Pastor Mark for answering Gods call in this.....

I will wind this up now with talking about my current Pastor. Pastor Brian leads the church we just started attending a few short weeks ago. After our second week he came to our home and spent hours talking with us and getting to know us and we him. A few weeks later, without any prompting at all he springs into action. After the funeral people were invited to come to our house because they could not go to dads house. ( dont ask why) Paster Brian got some folks together, got a ton of food together and let himself in while we were at the funeral. He came to the visitation to meet dad as well. When we arrived home after the funeral, we were greated with lots of food, several people there to help, and a whole lot of love. We didnt even know these people, and just bearly know the pastor, but they came, they loved us, and they provided a service for us that is beyond what can be measured or explained. This meant a lot to me and Angie, but it really touched my dad as well. Thank you Pastor Brian for answering Gods call in this..... I hope and pray that this act helps to be a catylist to get my dad into church....

Now we are all trying to adjust to the new normal. I talk with dad for 45 minutes or so each day, its amazing that it can happen like that. He even asked today if he could get a booster seat and come pick up Gracie and take her out for a while,,,,,,, That has never happened, and yes you can dad, yes you can...

Well, enough is enough, I will stop here, for now................