Friday, September 9, 2011

Amazing Grace

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I might just share a little update about Gracie.  I have been thinking a lot lately about her journey through life.  The impetus for this is that her birthday is coming at the end of the month.  That is correct peeps, Gracie turns 8 this month.

First, I want to spend a minute talking about her tumbling/cheer classes.  She is enrolled at TNT Tumble Dance and Cheer. (TNT).  She goes to class between 2 and 4 times a week depending on her Little Miami Cheer schedule.  Just talking about it doesn't make it seem like a big deal, but then, you can't see it through my eyes.  My eyes have a blurred sense of memory, when I look at Gracie I can still see that frightened 15 month old baby.  That 15 month old who could not walk, could not crawl, and could barely sit up on her own.  I see that 15 month old peanut of a child who would scoot on her butt to try and get around the room.  I see that 15 month old who was way behind the curve in her gross motor skills and her fine motor skills as well. I also see that 2-1/2 year old who would stagger and fall down when she tried to walk too fast.  I see the little girl whose limbs would stiffin up to look like a mannequin when she tried to run.  I see that 5 year old who tried and tried and tried to learn how to ride a bike, but balance was a concept that she just didn't have the muscles for.  My eyes remember the little girl who doubts herself and always questions if she can.  My eyes remember the little girl who is so personable one moment and painfully and awkwardly shy the next, so loving with someone and then so reserved and introverted the very next second.  My eyes remember all of these things with great clarity.  Every bit of this is only a distant memory when Gracie is on the tumble floor or in front of the crowd in her cheer uniform !!  In this setting she is powerful, she is graceful, she is self confident and a warrior willing to challenge the world.  I have watched her little flower bud and head into full bloom on the tumble floor.  My little 15 month old frightened child is now doing round-off back hand springs alone on the floor.  She still struggles on the floor, but the power and effort are there, its just refining her technique.  She does them beautifully on the tramp, and if she does them into the pit ( soft squishy landing area ) she almost flies.  I don't pretend to think she is perfect, I don't think she does the best round off back handspring in the world, yes, I admit other kids do them too and some might have better technique, BUT, every pass she takes across the floor is a perfect pass to me.  It's perfect to me because I see what they do to her soul !!  I see the confidence build up in her spirit, I see the pride in herself grow with each success, I have  seen what was her frail little body gain strength and power that 6 years ago I couldn't have even imagined. 

Not all that long ago Gracie was still working on the back hand spring going into the pit.  During the time the kids would do their running tumbling, Gracie would line up to practice on the tramp into the pit.  Finally, after many many many months of this, she graduated to practicing on the floor.  She was just beaming with pride when she got moved.  We have paid for a few private lessons as well, she gets to spend a half hour with her favorite coach ( the owners daughter) and gets individualized attention and lessons.  She gets so excited about her private lessons you would think we bought her a puppy or something.  I think she knows just how much progress she makes when she gets to do this.  She goes full out the whole half hour.  You wouldn't think a half hour of anything would wear out a  7 year old, but let me tell you, a half hour private lesson with the TNT staff will wear anybody out.  I need a nap just watching her.

So, if you see me sitting up on the observation deck watching my girl tumble around the room, you might now have some idea why I am smiling so much.  If you look too closely, you might see just a bit of moisture in my eyes once in a while.  If you do, don't worry, all is well, I am just seeing two Gracie's with my blurry double vision memory.  I see both the frightened frail 15 month old and the powerful, self confident blossoming 7 year old athlete at the same time in my eyes.