Fear !!

" The only thing we have to fear................ is fear itself.  "  FDR.

Wow, what telling words these are.  Take a moment and try and remove the words from the WWII context and you will see they have a deeper meaning than simply discussing war.  To address the meaning, you might want to have a working definition of what fear is.

From Dictionary.com :  Fear:

a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm.

 

Okay, read that again...... slowly......

 

a distressing emotion ( blah blah blah )  Danger ( blah blah blah ) EVIL ( blah blah blah )  .......

 
Hmmm, notice anything?  A distressing emotion...... distress........  stress........ stress caused by..... caused by among other things, caused by evil..
 
Wow,  Now rethink FDR's quote..  " the only thing we have to fear....... is fear itself "    Now that we have a working definition of fear, lets reword his famous quote.
 

" the only thing that we have to cause us distress.......... is evil  "

 
Makes perfect sense, but I bet you never thought of it that way.  Why have we never looked at it that way?  Simple reason, fear is almost as complex and nearly as misunderstood as the word Love.  Love is complicated, it means many different things, fear is complicated as well, it also has many different meanings.  Different meanings to different people based on their own perceptions.  For example, also from Dictionary.com:
 
Fear: reverential awe, especially toward God: the fear of God. Synonyms: awe, respect, reverence, veneration.
 

That is a completely different definition of fear, in this context, fear is a positive.

 
Fear can also be a positive when it occurs as an instinct.  From Wikipedia:
 
Fear is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response
 
In this context, fear is neither positive, nor negative, it is simply a message!
 
Fear is a lot more complicated that you might have guessed...
 

So, what are we afraid of?  Again, from Wikipedia:

 
According to surveys, some of the most common fears are of ghosts, the existence of evil powers, cockroaches, spiders, snakes, heights, water, enclosed spaces, tunnels, bridges, needles, social rejection, failure, examinations and public speaking.  flying, heights, clowns, intimacy, death, rejection, people, snakes, success, and driving.
 

For the purpose of discussion from this point on, I am going to address fear in two forms.  Negative fear and positive fear.  From the above dialogue, I am going to assume you were paying attention and are now sufficiently able to tell the difference between the two.  One thing that I find curious is the source of fear, so lets start there.

 

Positive fear, aka reverence, respect, awe.  This is a Godly fear, or fear of God as it is usually stated.  This has proved an interesting conundrum to me in the past.  If , as we are told, God did not provide us the Spirit of Fear, then why should we, why do we, fear God?  Well, that is why understanding the word is so important.  We should not fear God with a negative fear, God is not stressing us.  He will upon occasion stretch us, but that is a whole different thing all together.  Stretching is growing, and while it might be uncomfortable at the time, it is not something to fear, He has given us Grace after all, and with His Grace and Mercy all we need has been provided, why should we fear?  What do we have to be afraid of?  If God is with us, who can stand against us?  With faith, we stand with God, and it faith we should have no fear.  I am going to submit to you that Positive Fear comes from within us, positive fear is the manifestation of our faith. The greater our fear of the Lord, the greater our faith.. Sounds funny to say it that way in our culture, so let me rephrase it.  The greater our reverence, the greater our respect, the greater our awe of the Lord, the greater our faith becomes.  Now, that sounds better.  My original question was where does fear come from?  My first answer is this , positive fear comes from within us and is directly connected to faith.

 

Before going deeper into the point of writing this post, let me briefly address instinctive fear.  Instinctive fear is a messenger, it is a warning that someone or something is presenting a situation that can harm us.  This fear is also from within us, placed there to act as a signal tower to alert us to potential harm. Each individual may react differently or at a different level to this stimulus, but it is an automatic and uncontrolled response.  We, as humans, can condition ourselves to ignore the warning, perhaps taking it from a paralysing terror down to a more manageable level, but the instinct will always be there.  Soldiers can ignore the fear of thrusting themselves into the battle, but some warning, ignored or not, was there for them.

 

Now , on to the crux of the matter.  Negative fear = a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.  I am going to add to my question here and not only ask what is the source of this fear, but why, in our culture, do we do like to play with it?  This is the most common definition of fear, when asked about fear, most of my respondents replies fell into this category of negative fear.  (thank you facebook friends for your inputs )  When fear is discussed, usually negative fear is the subject.  Fear, anxiety, trepidation, terror, horror, dread, all these words have extremely negative implications.  None of us ( assumption on my part ) would want to witness the horror of seeing our child, or any child, being struck and killed by a car.  None of us would want to suffer through the terror of being on a plane as it spirals into the ground knowing that upon impact we will die a horrible death.  None of us would want to bear the anxiety of a hostage situation, knowing that sooner or later some of us will die.  We can all agree that this kind of fear, negative fear, is something to be avoided.  We don't ever want to experience this level of fear.

 

This is why I find it so strange, so odd, so illogical, that we as a culture are somehow enthralled with playing with fear.  We have manufactured an entire industry around the creation of artificial fear!  Notice the definition one last time ( beating the horse , I know )  whether the threat is real or imagined.  We all would just as soon avoid real fear, but yet we not only seek out imagined fear, we pay lots of money to achieve it!!  Does this really make sense?  We are saying fear is....... fun.  Does that make sense?  When looked at from logical terms, no, it makes no sense whatsoever, yet, we all do it.  ( yes, I will confess now to being guilty as well )  I do this, I have done this, I am just pointing out how terribly odd this really is.  ( quick disclaimer, I confess because I do not want you to view the following dialog as ridicule, indictment, or judgement )

 

The thing we list most often as fearing is ghosts and evil powers, yet we pay to go to haunted houses, we pay to watch horror movies, we even enjoy a holiday based around dressing up like evil spirits.  There is even a hit television show called Fearfactor.  The participants in the show experience real fear while we entertain ourselves by watching them, by watching their fear.  We flock to amusement parks and get on rides that induce artificial fear in us because of the motion, the height, the rapidity of the movement.  It is all based on our fear.  Are we trying to overcome our fears?  Some might say yes, others no, but if you ride a roller coaster once and experience fear, and the second time you no longer have the same anxiety, do you ride it a third time?  Most would answer yes, even after 'conquering' the fear, you continue to ride in hopes of getting a little more of that emotion.  Spiders were listed high on the list as well, yet the movie Arachnophobia was a blockbuster.  Why would we do that?  People tie rubber bands to themselves and jump off bridges, we jump out of airplanes for sport.  Not all who engage in this had fear of heights, but the emotional state achieved while falling is an attempt at generating a 'safe' fear.  An artificial fear.  A good ride at an amusement park is one in which while you are standing in line, you can hear the riders screaming.  Why are they screaming?  Is it fear?  If so, why are we in line to get on?  Same holds true with a 'good' horror movie, the theater full of screamers is the best movie.  Have we decided that fear is fun? 

 

These are just things that make me wonder, what are we thinking.

 

Other part of the question, where does negative fear come from? 

 

I cannot say for certain. 

 

But, this does come to mind.

 

 

1 Peter 5:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

 
 

So, in conclusion, I submit this.......  What is fear?  What are we afraid of?  Should we fear anything at all?

 

I end as I began.

 

" The only thing we have to fear....... is fear itself" 

 

Wise words indeed........

 

Baptism of Grace

Back in October Gracie was baptized. For those who might not understand what that is, it is the act of being immersed in water for the forgiveness of sins, to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, and the acceptance and confession of Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. The immersion represents death and rebirth as a new creation, a disciple and follower of Jesus.


Now, technical stuff aside. Gracie had wanted to be baptized for some time before this, but being willing, and understanding what she was doing were not exactly in the same place. Our pastor firmly believes that a person who wants to be baptized must be able to 'weigh the costs' as well as just wanting to do it. They must  not just be willing to make the commitment, but understand what the commitment is. So, Gracie took a class ( four weeks long)  with our pastor and learned all about what the costs are. Only hours after completion of the class, she started making plans to go and speak with the pastor about her desires. Pastor talked with her a while, made certain it was her desire, not her parents, and re-confirmed it was her understanding, not something else. Upon completion of this, a date was set .

Gracie requested that her mom and dad be the ones to do the baptism. ( woot woot !!) She wanted me to do the dunking, so mom got to take the confession of faith before hand, then I got to do it.


So, the first caveat of this story is , why did she want me to do the dunking ? There was more than just one reason, but one of the driving forces behind her decision to choose me was that she is/was afraid of the water. I take her to the pool in the summer, she has a blast, but she does not at all like to put her face under water. When she does, water goes up her nose ( why? I dunno ) and that freaks her out. Since I am always the one in the water with her, I was her choice to be the dunker.Whatever the reason for her choice, it was her choice, and I am/was simply thrilled I got the blessed pleasure of being able to do it.


Now that she has made the decision, and made her choices , its just a matter of waiting until Sunday and making sure all her friends and family are aware of it and have the opportunity to come see if they choose to. For those outside the faith, or with a different understanding of the concept, just understand, to us, this is a huge, humongous, eternally big deal. During the week, Gracie is so very excited. She is looking forward to it, she is hungry for it, she keeps talking about it, everything is so very positive. One of the sidebars to the story is that Gracie has not been able to take communion. It bothered her that other kids did, and she didn't. It bothered her other kids who had not been baptized did, and she wanted to follow the rules so she wouldn't, but they shouldn't be doing it either. ( her words ) So, she was looking forward to being able to take communion with the adults and the 'big kids' and 'teens'. She even wanted to make sure she got back into the service in time to take communion with everyone else, for her first time. ( another cool thing was mom got to hand Gracie the first part and I the second part of her first communion, that was pretty special as well)

So, I mentioned that Gracie was off the hook excited, and everything was positive. Well, as the week wore on, one small thing did change. When I was tucking Gracie in one night, she mentioned to me, " oh, by the way daddy, the water still scares me a little" ( uh oh ) That was all she said, and we did talk about it for it a while. She seemed to be okay, it was just a little scared, not terrified, not big scared, just a little scared.


I was worried, however, that this issue was going to grow. I was concerned that when she was standing there she was going to stiffen up on me and not want to lay back into the water. I didn't want to force her to lay back, so I wasn't sure what would happen. It just so happens ( insert Divine intervention here ) that I was signed up to do a prayer walk in the sanctuary that weekend. I went from station to station praying and praising, following the instructions. But, when I got to the front of the sanctuary, I deviated from the plan a little. I walked up to the baptismal, put my hands in the water, ( the ice cold water ) and prayed for Gracie. The gist of the prayer went something like this, " Lord, we know we are not worthy of the gift of your grace, and neither are we worthy of the gift you have given us in Grace. She is such a blessing to us and so many others. She brings joy to so many people, the light of your Love shines so brightly through her smile and her laughter. When we came home from China and laid her on the altar we promised to " raise her up in the way she should go" we promised to give her back to you in acknowledgement that she came from You. Gracie has chosen to do this, she wants to come closer to you, she wants to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. But, Lord, I am concerned that she is still afraid of the water. Lord, I come as your humble servant asking help, if it be Your will, let Your peace flow through the water and calm her spirit. Lord I ask that you drive any and all fear out of this place , drive the fear from her as we know the spirit of fear is not from You. Let Your comfort and peace flow into her and allow her to come to you without fear in her heart. In Jesus name "


Now, fast forward to Sunday.

Sunday morning, its friends day at church, Gracie has additional family and friends there to see her and because its friends day ( bring a friend to church day) the place is jammed packed. Me, mom and Gracie are in back getting our robes on and preparing to head to the water. ( insert appropriate water song here, let us gather by the river maybe ) Gracie looks up at me and says, " I'm still a little scared by the water" and before I can answer her, mom explains to her that Jesus is in the water waiting for her, and he won't let anything happen to her. ( mom doesn't know about my prayer so I think that was a pretty cool thing to say, you rock mom)

Now, lets do a play by play from here.


We are all robed up and waiting.

Pastor pops in, music is playing, when the music stops we head into the water.

Mom goes up the stairs first, then Gracie, then me, pastor is only minimally aware that there is a potential issue.

When we arrive at the precipice of the stairs we can all three look down into the water.


Mom is a little nervous because she has a lot of words to say and isn't comfortable with public speaking, she is also concerned that she will cry and not be able to speak.


I am concerned that my daughter will stiffen up and not let me lay her back into the water. ( oh me of little faith )

Gracie takes one look at the water and FLIPS OUT.......


Tears come streaming down her face, she is shaking, she is terrified. I offer to carry her into the water. She yells at me. "NO"

Her little body is trembling with fear.

" the water looks funny, it looks too deep, the water is green, I'm scared, I don't want to get in it, I don't want to get in...... we can do this later, "

Pastor comes up the stairs and lays hands on Gracie to comfort her, says something like, its okay Gracie.

Gracie flashes a look over her shoulder at him and tells him , "NO"

( have to know the people to get the humor in that part, Gracie is so respectful and shy, quiet around Pastor Brian, to yell at him is comically out of character)

Mom is reminding her that Jesus is in the water and He is waiting for her.

I remind her that not only is Grandpa and a bunch of her friends out there waiting on her, but being a disciple means being a good example for them, this was her choice, she needs to follow through.

Both of her parents words fell on deaf ears, still shaking, trembling, and crying very hard.
Pastor Brian has stepped down away from us and I can feel him praying instead of talking.

Music stops..............

Mom steps off stairs into the water.

Gracie steps off , as if on cue, and touches the water.


She has a death grip on my finger as she steps forward. Then, as she touches the water, her grip loosens. Every tear is dried away from her eyes. The shivering and trembling is gone. I immediately notice that something happened. Being the slow and sinful creature that I am, it took me a minute to recognize what just happened.

Gracie stands firmly and confidently facing her mom.

Mom talks for a moment to Gracie about how proud we are of her.

Mom asks Gracie to repeat a confession of faith.

Gracie speaks...... she speaks in a confident voice..... ( her best cheerleader voice )

It strikes me then, confident........ fearless........

Now its my turn.......

I speak briefly as well, then I hand Gracie the handkerchief. She places it over her mouth and nose. I place my hand over hers and place my other hand behind her back.

Here is the moment that I was concerned about...... what will she do........ ( oh me of little faith, have I learned nothing!!)

Not only did she not struggle or fight me, she dove........DOVE ...... back into my hand. If she had been on dry land she would have done one of her back handsprings.

When she came back up out of the water, there was nothing but peace........

and applause from a packed church......

We headed out of the water, changed and headed back to the sanctuary for communion and the service.

After service, much love and many hugs, we headed to lunch at Putters, with Grandpa, Debi, and several other friends..

Later that night Gracie said something to me that still sits on my spirit. I was talking to her about how cool it was that she was so confident in the water, once she got in.. She looked at me and said, " I was afraid, but when I got it the water and you told me to not be afraid , I wasn't " ( problem,, once in the water, I didn't say that.... hmm, wonder )


My belief..... (say what you will ) my belief is that God removed the fear from her, but only after she battled a spiritual attack and had the faith to trust Him and step forward. He took care of her, as He always does, but this time she had to bare the cost of her decision first, and when she did so, He blessed her, like He always will......