Friday, January 8, 2016


 Kids today don't like the music from my generation.  They say its not good, it's not any fun!!  They just don't get it.  I know every parent ( my daughter is 12 and I am 47) struggles with this, but I honestly believe I can make a case for the music I grew up with being vastly superior to the driveling of today's 'artists'.  I mean, c'mon, we had Bohemian Rhapsody.  We not only popularized the new musical style of rap, but we also fell in love with the new genre of the rock opera!!  Our celebrities were flashy when flashy was cool, unlike Lady Ga-gag who is trying to bring back the mystic of overkilled outfits.  Lady, you missed your mark by a few decades!!  While I'm at it, anacondas belong to a guy named Sir, and you miss Nicki Minaj are just embarrassing yourself. 

Again I'll use Bohemian Rhapsody as the example.  It was written and produced by one guy, one GUY, ( Freddie Mercury).  BeyoncĂ© had 6 writers and 4 producers to put out 'run the world'.  The song has like 9 words, 10 if you count 'the' as a word.  Bohemian Rhapsody was, and is, fun, it tells a story, it creates visual imagery in your mind, it brings forth multiple emotions, it makes you think, it makes you happy, it makes you sing a long ......  The only thing 'run the world' creates is a bit of nausea and disappointment in the 2 minutes of my life I will never get back. 

Our music was so cool we had bands whose name you had to say twice just because it was cool ( Duran Duran )  We had people who were so awesome, one name, not even a real first name, would become the only thing they would or could ever be known by ( Madonna ). We had Men Without Hats and Flocks of Seagulls.  We learned that a Vegemite sandwich came from a land down under.  We could dance if we wanted to.  We all knew Jenny's number.  You had your sharona and I had mine.  We had both heavy metal and big hair. ( please catch the Blues Brothers reference there to 'both kinds')  Cinderella had a flying piano instead of a glass slipper and Prince still had a name back then when he had a little red corvette and girlfriend named Nicki and Doves still cried.  Girls used to just want to have fun and Talking Heads used to be burning down houses.  Speaking of houses, ours used to be in the middle of our street.  This generation thinks they invented gender bending, but that is because they don't remember Boy George.. now that's Karma..  By the way, when you say Hello, I think Lionel Richie, not Adele.   We had stray cats who strutted, and anthems played by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  We actually had a whole genre of rockabilly. 


We had women who were beautiful and men who were too sexy for their shirts.  We had a huge pool of talented people who could sing and perform, but not only that, due to the nature of the business and music video being the big push, they could act as well.  If you think the music we grew up with wasn't fun, you've missed the allure of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.. Even the name was fun.  Heck, we even had entire popular acts who never sang a word ( Millie Vanillie )
We had Vanilla Ice, Ice Cube and Ice-T. Speaking of sexy, we had Joan Jett, Pat Benetar, Bananarama, the Bangles, Bonnie Tyler even totally eclipsed my heart. 

Today's music is just not as spectacular.  The spectacle is missing.  The flair is missing.  The showmanship is missing.  The absurdity is missing.  The fun is missing!! Maybe, just maybe it's because I'm old. But those were simpler times.  The music we grew up with was just superior in every way.  It was more adventurous, more entertaining, it was of a higher skill level, it had deeper meaning.  We wore our sunglasses at night and every girl was crazy about a sharp dressed man.  Lola went from he to a she and then it was Hammer Time!  We learned to walk this way and talk this way and we learned what it was like to be a wasted rock ranger.  We learned that Mickey was so fine 99 balloons would actually luft.  I guess every rose has its thorns, and Huey must have found his new drug but he isn't workin for a livin anymore.  I wonder if Dire Straights is still getting money for nothin? 

Oh well.  As I sit here and type this, Steve Perry just came on the radio with one of those trade mark power ballads.  As I sit here and cringe just a little, maybe this generation does have a point that the music of my youth does really suck.