Parade

Not much in the form of words are needed. It rained, it was muggy and hot, it was a parade through a small town, it was Midwest Americana at its finest. Gracie would appear to be the smallest cheerleader best I can tell,( yes they are all standing up, she is that much shorter than the rest and they are all within 18 months of the same age) but this was her first real assignment as a real live member of a cheer leading squad.

A good time was had by all.

Versa,

Today we turned in the Nissan Quest and suffered the revenge of Fernando............





But life goes on.





Angie is happy with her purchase, here are some pictures.

Vent update

For now at least the storm seems to have passed.

Gracie has had a very busy week. She has had VBS at a friends church every morning this week. She loves going to VBS and in the next couple of weeks she will be doing it again at her church and her friend will be coming with her. She is such the little Evangelist. Speaking of that, cute Gracie-ism that happened the other day. Gracie was discussing the days learnings with her BFF and classmate Kaitlyn and the subject of the day was Adam and Eve. Both girls are a bit ornery more often then not and are used to being told they are being 'disobedient'. Gracie likes the word and was explaining to Kaitlyn that:

"Eve was being disobedient to Gaaawwd."

Note the spelling, its not God, or just God, but rather Gaaaaawwd. The only thing missing was the 'Mah" at the end of it. One of those things you just had to hear for yourself I suppose.

Thursday and Friday have been melt down free days. Wednesday night was a sizable melt down, but by and large this week hasn't been nearly as bad as it could have been.

Angie took a break from her Tuesday night women's bible study group to take Gracie to see the Kung Fu Panda movie. It was girls night out, just what the doctor ordered it would seem. In the movie the panda is adopted, by a duck. This allowed for explanation and reinforcement of the word 'adopted'.

Gracie, besides VBS had Cheer leading, Kids night at skyline, two play dates and a host of other less complicated activities. She has also had some shopping adventures and tomorrow morning is the parade. She is in a fourth of July parade with the other members of her squad. Kindergartners on parade, should be, well, interesting to pick a word. I think her social schedule is more involved than mine, actually, I know it is.

Another Gracie-ism Evangelical moment. She picked up her cell phone, (plastic one with princesses on it, no she doesn't have a real one yet, she needs to be able to add and spell first) and began talking to her Aunt Carol. She was overheard to have said, Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John, those are the Gospels. After hanging up, Angie asked her about her call, she said she called Carol to tell her about the Gospels, cause she thought Carol needed to know. (Hmm.....) Angie asked if she learned that at VBS, and Gracie said no, it was from Rock and Roll church. Our new church has contemporary praise before worship that is somewhat jam session like. Its a bit loose and free, and loud, and most importantly, honest praise. Gracie loves it and she even likes to dance with mommy. She hasn't gotten brave enough to head out into the aisles with the other kids, but she is watching them and will join them someday I think.

Much time was spent this week talking with Gracie about her being adopted. Kung Fu Panda provided another opportunity to explain that its okay to not look like your parents, the bears mom is a duck, and try and introduce the word adopted as a good thing. We have spent much time talking about the Chinese mommy this week as well. I think Gracie would like more answers to her questions other than we don't know, but to these questions, we don't know is the truth. We offer possible explanations, which Gracie appreciates, but I think she is still processing it all. Gracie made some comment this week about liking having two mommies.

Back to the Wednesday melt down. This melt down was caused over something silly, a drink of water, but I use the term melt down because its an accurate comparison, nuclear melt down. The trigger was a drink of water, the cause was over stimulation, exhaustion, and emotional stress leftovers from earlier in the week, in my opinion. Melt down is an apt comparison because, first of it has a cascading, self feeding effect. It starts with a trigger, and once the reaction starts, it feeds off itself, growing larger and larger until its out of control and raging. The amount of anger that blows out of her 30 something pounds is something that must be witnessed to be believed. Mom and I have different methods for handling these melt downs. Neither of us are right or wrong, we just have different approaches, which cause a little friction between us but we have learned to work with each other. The standard rule is, who ever provided the trigger is the one who takes the primary role in dealing with the radioactivity. We then share our opposing opinions once the blast has been removed from our vicinity. Mom looks at it like this, she lets it go and by and large ignores it, letting it consume all the fuel it has, hoping the damage can be contained, and once the heat dissipates some, she will go in as a mop up operation and clean it up then. This is when she goes after the apology, teaches the lesson, makes up, whatever is required. This requires a skilled level of timing, too soon and you just add more fuel and it starts all over. I prefer to brave the nuclear tan method. I go after it right then, getting irradiated all the while, but trying to cool it off and remove fuel to minimize the damage and re-establish a more controlled environment faster. I try to teach the lesson in the midst of the storm of atoms, seek the conciliatory apology while she still is involved in the situation. This is a logical approach to end it sooner and minimize the trauma and the drama, but logic is also my fatal flaw. The logic of a four year old is limited to start with, the logic level with anyone, four or forty, fades fast with emotions such as anger and frustration, so an angry frustrated four year old has about 10 seconds of logic to work with so I am swimming upstream in the cooling tower from the beginning. I guess this is why parenting works better when you have two people doing it.

I will try to get some post worthy parade pics tomorrow, and some of her in uniform as soon as we have them in.

Ventilation

Sometimes a person just needs to vent. So, please forgive me, but this is one of those times. I am really rather angry right now. I will admit right off the bat that its a bit unjustified, what took place is fairly normal, but that doesn't do much to cool my temper about the issue. I will refrain from details and names to protect the guilty so if this causes this post to be difficult to understand or follow, I am sorry, but I am writing this post more for me than for my reader. I usually have only the potential reader in mind when I post, but this time I am typing just to try and reason my way back to some reasonability. Someone, who shall be named 'that person' from this point on has made my Gracie cry. Its not just a little upset cry, its a big time life issue, mom and dad have a conference to deal with the potential damage cry. I don't like it when my sweetie gets hurt, I get angry when she gets hurt this deeply. Here is the story:

Nobody knows exactly how the mind of a little girl works. Add the complications and drama and Hunan personality that is Gracie, and logic is a hopeless endeavor. Gracie stores up information and then when she gets to some point in processing the information, it comes out in words. The subjects that come forth are totally random to the casual observer. She reasons through things like Santa Claus and starts asking for explanations in April for example. You never know what the trigger is or was, but some random topic that is of deep concern will pop forward without warning, its just when her mind has reached some point where she cannot reason it through any farther and it just needs to come out.

Well, this is what happened this Sunday on the way home from church. No connections to anything that was current, just random. Gracie asks, out of the blue,

"Why does 'that person' not come around anymore?"

Now, from the first sentence mom and I both knew something was wrong. This question was random to us, but the voice that projected the question was not a happy voice. It is the same voice that she has when she is trying to make up with us after having done something she knew was wrong. Its that sad and unsure voice. Its quiet, soft, and unsteady.

"Mommy, daddy, why does 'that person' not come around anymore?"

We try to answer her in as generic terms as possible to not add fuel to what is obviously going to become a fire. She has been processing this too long and this tactic is not going to work. She demands answers. The truth is not something she can understand, but more details are needed. When Gracie gets ahold of something like this, there is no distracting her so "look its a ground hog!" is not going to work. She becomes like a pit bull with PMS on things she has been working on in her brain for a while. Nothing is going to separate her from this line of questioning until she gets some understanding.

"Mommy, daddy, last week (last week could be anything from 10 minutes ago to, in this case, about 6 weeks ago) when we were at the other place, 'that person' wouldn't play with me. When she was at our house she wouldn't play with me either."

We tried to explain to her that 'that person' is too busy right now and she doesn't have time to play. That is about 20% truth, she is busy with other things that she has put in a higher priority than Gracie is the whole truth, but Gracie isn't going to understand that. We tried to explain that she had things in her life that were more important to her at the moment, but Gracie cant grasp what we are saying. At least that is one way of looking at it, I think Gracie understands maybe too well and our attempts to soft shoe the issue are not being bought. I think she senses we are selling her a line of goods and she isn't going to buy.

"But, mommy, daddy, 'that person' doesn't have time for me anymore, she doesn't want to play with me anymore, she want talk to me anymore, she doesn't come around anymore, I don't get to see her anymore."

Then, the bomb explodes, the dam burst, and the Hunan Hottie hit critical mass with this statement.

"'that person' doesn't love me anymore, 'that person' doesn't love me anymore, 'that person' doesn't love me anymore"

Mom and dad jump firmly into damage control mode. We cant lie to her. She is now crying uncontrollably. She is sobbing and weeping deeply. She is in a word, mourning the loss of a loved one. Neither one of us can tell her she is wrong, because she probably isn't wrong. 'that person' has done nothing unusual, but 'that person' is doing what most teenagers do. She is focused on her life and her wants and is oblivious to the world around her. While it is not out of the ordinary for a teen to go through this spot in life, it is not something a four year old can understand. All Gracie knows for sure, and she is most likely correct, is that someone who used to love her, doesn't anymore, and she feels this loss all too deeply. While I can understand and forgive because I too have been a short sighted teen at one point in life, Gracie has a different set of issues than most kids. Gracie bonded to momma in about an hour in a hotel room in China, Gracie attached herself to daddy something like 6 months later, 'that person' was pretty close to the same time frame as me. She was either the third or the second person Gracie loved, too close to call. The were inseparable, all Gracie could talk about and wanted to do was be with 'that person' So now Gracie is grieving deeply this lose. It also brings with it insecurities, like what about mommy and daddy, could I lose them too. She always asks questions, but lately we keep getting the, "will you ever leave me alone" question and the " when I get bigger, can I keep......... fill in the blank with whatever is on her mind." Things are tough for Gracie right now, she is growing up so fast and with it comes baggage. She was talking about her Chinese mommy tonight and asking why she didn't keep her.

Right now we are dealing with one upset, sad, insecure, and confused little girl. All we can do is love her more and love her harder. I would ask for your help as well. Please pray that the Peace which cannot be understood settles on her strong little spirit. Pray that Gracie can mourn and move on.

We spent lunch that Sunday consoling her and God decided to help by sending an unknowing angel to be with Gracie. Our waitress took Gracie with her, took her to play games and let her help with her job. This waitress let Gracie carry a bowl of salad and deliver it to a customer for her, fingers in the lettuce and all. Gracie felt like a queen for the hour or so we were there, but like I said earlier, once she sinks her teeth in deep, there is no letting go. The insecurity is present, she was back in our bed last night because she hadnt slept, she is still processing information right now, more questions will arrive soon, God prepare us both with good answers.

Also, please pray for me. I have spent years learning to control my temper. I can be rational and know that nothing unusual has taken place and no one has done anything with intent of malice, but when my sweetie gets hurt this deeply, and cries this mournfully it makes my neck hair stand up. Her tears are so pitiful, they are not the tears of anger that are normal for a four year old, nor are they the tears of confusion or frustration that are also normal. They are the tears of a broken heart and a deeply felt loss of a loved one. My reaction wants to be one of anger, but it should be one of forgiveness and I need to focus on love instead of anger. I am working on it, but I keep humming a tune to myself over and over again.

Little bunny foo foo

hopping through the forest

picking up the field mice....................

Hmmm, need to work it some more.

OH MY

I must start this post with the PSA. Please remove all food and drinks from you immediate vicinity. If you find this one third as funny as I did it is guaranteed to put coke on your keyboard and Funions on your flat screen.

You were warned.

Well Tuesday nights are when momma has bible study class and Gracie and daddy have the night to themselves. We have dinner at home this week and then Gracie decides she wants to go get 'pink'. 'Pink' if you recall is a sno cone from the sno shack in the old neighborhood. This dessert requires about a 20 minute drive and so we are off. Only moments after getting in the car at 6:30 PM Gracie informs me that she doesn't want to talk too much, she just wants to talk sometimes. I said, fine honey. She then began talking and didn't breath again for 3 hours. My little Chinese chatterbox was once again on a roll. The Hunan hurricane was coming ashore with some high winds this evening. I will now attempt to post the bulk of the next conversation as best as I can recall it.

"Daddy, can I have my bible school songs on?"

"Sure honey" ( I turn on her CD, its always her CD in the player anymore, saves time that way)

--Gracie sings "C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n"

--Gracie sings "All the little children, all the little children of the woooooorrlldddddd"

"Dadddy, if I die will Jesus come to get me?"

(oh brother, here we go)

"Yes sweetie, he will come to get you?"

"Did Jesus die for us because he loved us.............on the cross?"

"yes baby"

"Did his Daddy put him in bed when he died?"

(this is a new one, its hard trying to explain things to a 4 year old, you have to answer and the answer has to be right, but it cant be too complicated, I missed this one on the too complicated side)

"Put him in bed? No, He died and a few days later he arose from the dead to show that he had conquered death and that we will live forever with Him in heaven. God brought Him home to heaven just like Jesus will bring us home to Him. Its something that's hard to understand, but the word is Resurrection." (too much, I know)

"Re, Re, Re- sue wreck shawn"

"yes sweetie"

"When Jesus wakes us up, will we go to heaven too?"

"yes, of course"

"No, I don't want to go, not if they don't have a bathroom, what if I have to go potty"

(I have no idea where she gets the potty thing, this is the second time down this road so for now I remain unflapped)

"Sweety, anything you would ever want or need, you will have in heaven" (good daddy answer, stick with it)

"Will I have food, strawberries, bananas, apples, and grapes?"

"Sweety, anything you would ever want or need, you will already have in heaven, its all there for you" (stick with it)

"I need my favorite stuff, (or stuss as she says because she has yet to use the letter F_) Will I have my B (blanket) my bitty (stuffed dog), my Mulan, my two purses (Vera's both of them), my sunglasses the pink ones and the ones with the white polki dots, my homework (bag of paper and receipts that should have been tossed but she likes them), my princess pillow, my monies (coins and pesos), my toys, and my guitar?" I am sure I missed a few because this drug along for some time.

"Sweety, anything you would ever want or need will be there" ( I know you cant take it with you but this answer is true enough without causing the Hunan winds to pick up any velocity)

"Good, when I get there, I want to give Jesus a present"

"Really, what would you like to give Jesus sweety?" (Daddy is know hoping to be the proud daddy but a little leery of what might come out next)

"I want to give him an instrument, or maybe two, since He only has one, He needs more than one. When he wakes us up with trumpets (the one instrument) I want to give Him some maraca's and an accordion"

::: You were warned::::

"I just bet Jesus would love to have some more instruments baby, that is very nice of you"

"Daddddy, know what other present I want to give to Jesus?"

"I couldn't even guess, please Gracie, what other present do you want to give Him"

"I want to give Him a big hug"

"That is very nice Gracie, I know He would love a big hug from you"(proud daddy moment arrives, briefly)

"I want to give Him a big hug because He loves me and I love him (sniff, sniff on my part) I want to give Him a high five too. But, but, I don't think I want to let Him kiss me. I don't think I like kisses from Him, is it okay if I just give him a big hug and big high five, but no kissed, I don't think I like kissed, no, no Jesus kisses, is that okay that I don't want His kisses?"

"Well, (struggle, struggle) I think He would like to kiss you, but He is pretty understanding so I think maybe just a really big hug would be okay"

"and a really big high five"

Okay, conversation over, she is still talking for hours, but we have moved on to what I cant recall, but these things blow past as fast as they blow in.

I love the way her mind works but I have to admit a few things here. This conversation has permanently disturbed my rather cliche' pop culture imagery of the second coming. I have this nice little visual of a man, with long dark hair and a well groomed goatee, and a flowing white rob traipsing amongst the clouds on a white stead with trumpets blaring announcing the arrival of the King. Her insertion of maraca's and an accordion has created a new and disturbing visual for me. I now have two conflicting visual abnormalities that I cant get out of my head.

One, Jesus is now wearing a burlap poncho with many bright colors and has short black hair and a handle bar moustache a la Poncho Villa. He is also wearing a sombrero and the maracas are playing salsa music at the second coming. Now that is disturbing.

Two, Jesus is now wearing lederhosen and a little black fedora like hat while riding a donkey and the accordion is playing the chicken dance at the second coming. Now, this is just too disturbing.

Thus ends another evening with Gracie, the little girl after Gods own heart. (but no kisses please)

Pruned lately?

Reasons for Pruning

• To train the plant



• To maintain plant health



• To improve the quality of flowers and fruit



• To control growth

Ever wonder if a tree likes to be pruned? Odd I know, but I am odd too so just go with me a minute. I imagine the tree doesn't much care for the practice. I mean if you were a tree you would probably be rather attached to those limbs, branches and twigs. They are yours after all and you grew them right where you wanted them. Never mind the fact that they used to have pretty blooms and sweet fruit and now it just hangs there from you drawing your energy and producing nothing. They were fruit-filled and full of blossoms at one time, so it seems a shame to part with them now. Besides, having part of you cut off and discarded must kind of hurt I would think. Yes I am sure the tree would rather have have big strong branches and I am sure the tree knows that once they get too long and thin they become fragile and want to break away. It would be safer to cut the branch back some then to allow a storm to come through and break it off at the weakest point. Allowing this would cause much more damage to the tree than pruning, but losing the limb still just doesn't seem like much fun. Bottom line is this, for the tree to remain healthy and productive over a long period of time, some pruning is going to have to take place.

I doubt the tree likes being trained much either. It would be much more fun to just grow and grow in any and all directions. Grow taller and wider and let some branches just creep across the ground and others shoot out from the trunk in all sorts of directions. Being orderly and shapely in never as much fun as being wild and unkempt. One problem with this is that the branches that are laying on the ground will begin to rot. Another problem with this for the poor tree is that if it gets too wild it will have no blooms and fruit left on it at all and therefore it will become a useless tree. Useless trees have no purpose and thus are cut down and burned as firewood. I am certain that no tree wants to end up in the fireplace.

The flip side to this issue is if the tree is well pruned. The well pruned tree will produce an abundance of flowers and fruit. A tree that is well cared for will produce aromatic blossoms and sweet fruit. A tree that is places in a good location, provided with the soil, water, sun and resources it needs and then is pruned regularly and carefully will produce huge amounts of fruit every season. This tree will have a long season of production and a long and useful life. A tree such as this is the favorite of the gardener. A tree that responds to being pruned will be placed in the center of the garden, in a position of honor as it is cared for.

Praise be to the Gardener who prunes us.

Praise be to the Tree of Life who saves us.

Amen.

The end is near, continued.

Okay, I just love the irony of the title. Sorry, had to point that out. The point of the title is to suggest that I am going to continue 'the end is near' for a fourth part and therefore it has now officially become a series. I don't know if this edition will end the series or not, I'll have to wait and see what either the news wires or phone calls from mom bring in. I urge anyone who has not already done so to scroll back thru the older posts and read all the ones relevant to this series. The should have 'the end' in the title, except the first one which is an 'answer' post answering a question from Charlie. Let us progress to silliness now.



Well its over, the DNC has nothing left to do but crown Obama as the saviour of the Democratic party and turn him loose on the electorate at large to see how he fares against McCain. Hillary has stepped aside, for now, and the hunt for a VP is ongoing in both camps. The people, the party, the family, the media, the hype, and the Oprah have all done their level best to deify Obama. Obama is being billed as nothing less than the second coming. He is being put on a pedestal that is a bit too high. He is being sold as our nations salvation. He appears to masses of people who swoon like he has healing powers and his offer of hope and change are being carried by the sounds of trumpets. Let us suppose for a moment that this is true, and Obama has arrived on a cloud of proclamation. What will happen next is the opening of the seven seals. The first four of these seals release the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.



First seal is opened : a white horse appears, its rider held a tax increase with which to burden the common man. The rider claimed it would only increase taxes on the rich who could afford it but rich was defined so vaguely that anyone with a career was rich and the cost of these taxes was passed down to the poor who could not causing global economic collapse. The first rider bore the name Pelosi.



Second seal is opened : a red horse appears, its rider holds a stop sign. This sign has the power to stop all economic growth, stop all progress exploring new technology, stop all business expansion, and stop any remaining culture of self reliance. All things moving forward will come to a stop so we have more time to sit around feeling good about ourselves instead of being productive. The red horse bore the name Kennedy.



Third seal is opened: a black horse appears, its rider holds a pair of scales. These scales represent famine. The famine that will cover the globe as our farms fail just as our business systems collapsed. On the scales are wheat and barley, both of which are weighted down on the other side by a green orb that represents an over warmed earth. The wheat and barley were grown organically but in such small quantity that it was not enough to feed even us let alone the world. The black horse bore the name Gore.



Fourth seal is opened : a pale horse appears, its rider is called Death. Death was brought out to the American dream. The dream that was built upon self reliance and a belief in God. Death was brought to the economy that was driven buy people who were willing to risk their all in order to bring a new product to market. Death was brought to the work ethic that has been gasping for air these last few decades as we slip into a society that believes its entitled to a free ride. The pale horse bore the name Clinton.





As gas prices continue to rise and foreign unrest continues to brew take my moms advise and go stock up on some flour and canned peaches. You can always sift the bugs out through a window screen.



Please do not take this little parody too seriously and please don't take it as an endorsement for McCain. The point is just this, Obama is simply another silver tongued politician who is selling you a bill of goods called hope and change. If you are seeking salvation, seek Jesus. Obama is just one more charlatan snake oil salesman with big promises and little substance. No matter who gets the nod, Obama or McCain, we are in for a bumpy ride unless we the people stand up and demand some fixes, fixes the government cant do. Its up to us, not Washington.