Cheer?

The current climate of Christianity is full of argument. Do we ban and boycott Harry Potter. They promote witchcraft and the gay lifestyle so we should ban the movies and boycott the outlets and burn the books. We have Santa coming out against the newest abomination called "the golden compass" We must not let the children learn to kill god, we are doing well enough killing Gods Will on our own. Halloween is another "issue". The conservative Christians come up with "fall festivals" and "harvest parties" to avoid some Halloween stuff, really Conservatives keep their kids away from it all together and go do something else instead. Santa is even an issue, "lets put Christ back in Christmas" ( I should credit my friend Amy www.atypicalgirl.wordpress.com/ with the inspiration on this as well as the Todds' "extremely hot wife" Kim www.mrssnuffy.blogspot.com/ , his words just too keep myself out of trouble. You can read their more sincere commentaries on the issues of "The Golden Compass" and "Harry Potter" on their blogs, they are well done I might add) Now, I bring forth a different issue, I think as Christians we need to focus on the truly evil things in the world, we need to band together and ban Cheerleaders.
Yes that's right, cheerleaders are the creation of the devil himself and we need to gather ourselves and stomp out this abomination. They do nothing but cause havoc and serve no real purpose except to assist in total economic collapse of our nation, the moral bankruptcy of our youth, and the imprisonment of our young adult. Yes, cheerleaders are going to be the cause of destruction of life as we know it. Why? you might ask. Well think about it, what exactly do cheerleaders do? Well, by definition, they lead cheers. Do we really 'cheer' at sporting events? I think not, we root for our team, we woot for good plays, but 'cheering' is only ever done by the cheerleaders. So, I submit they have no purpose because they have no followers right? Now, we have established with some certainty I believe that since we dont sit in the stands and 'cheer' go team go that we are not following their lead. Now, some may say, but we chant things like "de-fence" but we do not follow or require cheerleaders to do that. The chants are always prompted by that really drunk guy in the front row who won his ticket to the game by being the 16th caller on some pop radio station game. Its his job and he knows it, he does it well. So, cheerleaders have no purpose, but then why are they still around? Its an evil conspiracy I tell you and we need to end it now.

How can you not like cheerleaders? They are so cute and perky and bouncy. They are being used to destroy us all. The most deceptive part of it is that even they are not aware of their roll in the path to oblivion. Did you know the most common sport related injury is to cheerleaders? Think about it, they are always jumping and flying around and twisting up those frail little bodies of theirs. They get nailed on the sidelines by football and basketball players alike, but rarely to you ever see a game stop to haul one of them off, they are just drug by their perfect hair under the stands someplace never to be seen again. Eeeery isn't it.

So, how are they destroying the world. First off, they are skewing the self perception of young and old women alike all over the country. Real people don't look and act like that. I have heard women say, "look at that fat roll hangin out on her, she doesn't need to be out there." She weighs in at a whopping 115 lbs. people, that's not a fat roll, those darn spanky pants are just too tight. People in this country think cheerleaders are beautiful and want to emulate them. They are not real, its an evil demonic rues. We must destroy them.

Next, moral depravity is their greatest weapon. Nobody pays any attention to cheerleaders during the game, we came to see the game remember. However, life size posters, Internet web sites, commercial endorsements all selling what, sex of course. What does a scantilly clad young lady with her stuff all hangin out go to do with sports? Nuthin. It is there just to tantalize and titillate. It is there to lower the moral standards of America and send us down the long spiral to depravity and doom. Young men who cant help themselves chase after these young ladies and end up in prison because of things such as these.

Stop the madness.

Stop hurting the young girls.

Stop torturing the young boys.

I suggest a boycott of all sporting events with cheerleaders. Dont buy their posters, dont visit their websites, and when they come out at halftime, stand up and turn around. Together we can make a difference.

Destroy the cheerleaders, save the world.