You should see your face...........

Last weekend we had some visitors in from out of town. A couple from Michigan (we forgive them for that) spent the weekend with us as one of them was in town for a job interview. On Saturday night we wanted to go out to dinner with just the four of us. This little trick requires assistance's from a babysitter for Gracie.

Now, keep in mind, volunteering to babysit Gracie is like volunteering to be the on scene reporter as a hurricane comes ashore. Its not that Gracie is a bad child mind you, she is actually a very kind, loving, and mostly obedient bundle of joy. She is just ultra-high energy, silly, and talkative. As with a hurricane, "its not THAT the wind is blowin', its WHAT the wind is blowin' " (Ron White) When Gracie gets on a roll she will use more words than you can find in Tolstoy's War and Peace, and this is just the first five minutes. Her imagination is bizarre and her vocabulary is astonishing. She loves to make words rhyme for no apparent reason just to get to say more words. For example, things are not big, they are humongous, and because fungus rhymes with humongous everything is fungus humongous. She is terminally entertaining to listen to as our friends found out this weekend.

Well, to continue with the story, we were able to procure a babysitter for the evening. I felt sorry for Ms. Sarah, our 16 year old friend from church. I didn't pity her enough not to go out mind you, but I did feel a little guilty unleashing Gracie on her. When we returned that evening Ms. Sarah seems very glad to see us. She said Gracie was a perfect angel and was good all evening, but she did add that she talked more than anybody she has EVER met in her WHOLE life. Now, Ms. Sarah, your 16 years have been full of experiences, but I am 40 years old and I must agree with you on this one, I don't think it is possible to talk more than Gracie, especially if she is excited and happy. Unfortunate for Ms. Sarah, Gracie was excited, as soon as Ms. Sarah arrived, Gracie looked at me and said, "you can go now" She was enjoying the company we had visiting, but she loves a babysitter and she adores Ms. Sarah. When she gets excited she stops putting spaces between her words, or to state if differently, she stops breathing. An example of a short paragraph might be in order here.

"Ms.Abner,myteacher,theoneIhavewithAugestinkeptmeinfromrecesstodosomeworkbutthatisokay becauseAugestineissoadorableandnowIhavebeenmovedtothebluetable.Wegottochoosewhattablewe wantedtomovetoifweweregoodandnowmytableisallboys, I am theonlygirlatthetable,whichisokay,I sitwithAugestineCollinandnevermindcanwegodownstairsandplayonthecomputer, Icangetitstartedallbymyselflikeabiggirl. I like the bluetable.HEY,wouldntitbeGREATifwewereso tinythatwewereimaginaryandfelldowninsideourshoes, that wouldbesilly wouldnt it?...................."

Okay, if you find that hard to read, you should try listening to it. That paragraph might take her 2 seconds and she can string 20 or 30 of them together without even a breath. This is why Ms. Sarah looked pale when we returned, all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. Gracie actually tuckered herself out, she slept in the next morning and slept a lot the next few days. I have a feeling Ms. Sarah might have needed a nap as well.

Anyway, back to the point of this story. Before we left to go to dinner a young man came by doing a fundraiser for the local school, he was selling candy bars. I let Gracie buy two, one for her and one for momma. These are those caramel filled bars that momma loves. I told Gracie if she was good she could have hers while we were out. I didn't think about it again until we got home. After we were home and checked on our little Hunan storm center, I noticed that 3 out of the 5 pieces of the candy bar were still setting on the table. I thought it was strange that she ate so little since she almost never gets chocolate. I don't think to question it, but a few days later and its still on the table the subject comes up between momma and Gracie.

Gracie: mommy, what is the yellow stuff inside the candy bar?

Momma: It's called caramel honey.

Gracie: Its disgusting.

Momma: you don't like caramel, mommy does.

Gracie: No, its disgustin' it tastes like little ones. (little ones are boogers by the way)

Momma: It tastes like WHAT?

Gracie: Its disgustin' it tastes like snot, I don't like it, I shared with Ms. Sarah.

Momma: It tastes like little ones? Well I like it. Gracie, where did you put what was left?

Gracie: I just threw in away...........

Momma: You did what!! I would have ate it !!!!!! Don't ever through away chocolate and caramel !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gracie: (in a screeching and giggling voice) You should see your face!!!

I would have liked to have seen her face myself on that one........ Where do five year olds get this stuff anyway??