Anatomy of a cuss word......

First, this post is in no way intended to be vulgar, profane, or inappropriate for younger readers. I will endeavor to not use any real cuss words in the following post, however, that is the subject of the following monologue. What is a cuss word?

The first thing I notice when bringing up the subject is that we, we being English speaking Americans, can not even agree on what to call cuss words. Some variants of the topic include, curse words, dirty words, foul words, offensive words, profanity or profane words, swear words...... and this is just the beginning of the list. As a point of interest ( or disinterest, I found it interesting ) Mark Twain was the first to coin the term 'cuss' word in 1872.

So, I ask you, what is a cuss word.

Standard definition:
1. a profane or obscene word, esp. as used in anger or for emphasis.
2. any term conceived of as offensive.

The first thing that you might notice is that it is ANY word that is CONCEIVED as OFFENSIVE. That means that the definition of a cuss word is dependant upon the opinion of the listener. I find that interesting. It is interesting because that means that I may say something that I don't feel is at all improper , but yet, the person I am speaking to will feel they are being cussed at. Wow, that is a communication revelation on my part.

Why is this important?

Well, first off, we have scripture in the Bible that tells us that it is not what we put into our mouths that defiles us, but what comes out of it. This , among others, reminds us that we should refrain from being foul to each other at the very least. We are also instructed to use our words to build each other up and encourage one another. Cussing at someone, even if you do not realize you're doing it, is something to be avoided.

Secondly, for my secular friends, cussing can also be an issue in 'polite company' as it is called. Not all walks of society view profanity as an acceptable form of communication, especially in the workplace.

These are only two simple reasons why we might not want to make the sailor blush, but they are by no means meant to be an all encompassing list.

What strikes me is our ability to cuss without even knowing that we are doing it and the listener ( if we are so blessed as to actually have a listener ) is being offended and making judgements about us without our knowledge. I mean, how hard can it be to not cuss ? If I start tossing F-bombs around, I think I know I am cussing right? Well, its just not that simple........

Time for a list of examples:

Some words are cuss words totally dependant upon their use. For example, one word can be used to describe a four legged mammal also known as a donkey or burro. This same word is used to describe a body part on which you sit, or a neighbor with questionable behavior. Now, by my personal standards, only the last example would be cussing, but I am in the minority on that. Most folks view using that word to describe a body part as cussing as well. The next thing that adds to the confusion is the words we therefore use as substitutes for the potential cuss word. If I chose to use butt, instead of the potential offender, I still have cussed in the eyes of some. This becomes more apparent when you add in an age factor. Most adults will use and hear the word butt and not be offended, yet it their child , lets just say a 7 year old, says butt, now they have an issue. The child should say bottom, can, derriere, tookus, or some such instead of the word butt..... Now it starts to become clear as to why it is sometimes confusing........

Now the magical B word. When the announcer at the Kennel Club dog show refers to a fine female dog by that term, it is an accepted form of communication, however, when the same word is used to describe the high maintenance and temperamental wife of your neighbor, it is now an offensive word. We must exercises caution when using any questionable vocabulary.

Now lets talk anatomy. This gets very convoluted very quickly. If a gentlemen has the name of Richard, he is typically not called by that full name. Some examples fail this test, perhaps the most famous is Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon is almost always called Richard, although he did earn the nickname in popular culture of his day of Tricky Dick. If someone has the name of Richard it is perfectly normal to call him by this shortened version. However, using the exact same word to refer to the male privates is offensive to a lot of folks and therefore is a cuss word. In fact, there are almost no acceptable terms to use at all that name the male privates. Even when we use correct medical terms, if we are not speaking to our spouse or an MD, we are most likely offending and therefore cussing. Men make this even more convoluted than it needs to be because we have adapted so many different names to refer to this region. If we speak of the twins, we may simply be talking about our cousins who were born at the same time 3 years ago, but we may be cussing. When we speak of chubby, we had better be talking about the extra pounds we added over the holidays or we are guilty of cussing again.

Now on to body functions. I did not know that the most commonly used word to describe the release of built up intestinal gas ( yes the F - word ) was a cuss word. I had no idea that some people find the word offensive. Finding the odor offensive, or even the sound offensive perhaps, but the word ? Yes, if you are like me and unaware, every time you say the F-word, you are risking cussing in front of someone. The standard rule of thumb I am finding is that if a word has a large host of options and derivatives, that may be because the word being replaced is frequently found to be impolite. Just as in reference to the large host of names available for the male privates, there is a long list of replacement words for the F-word. Passing gas is at least a little better I am told, as is breaking wind. I am told that butt whistling is not an appropriate substitute.

Another natural body function that comes into question is the act of relieving oneself. This one works the opposite from others I have listed in that it is more appropriate for young children to use the word than it is us adults. Yep, you guessed it, the word is pee. Adults expect adults to use the word urinate, but if your youngin' says they have to pee, its generally not viewed as kids cussing. In contrast, if I as a 42 year old man mention I have to pee, it is considered rather chide and classless, why, because it brings offense and thus I have cussed. Anytime the other P word is used, you know the one that sounds like a snake hiss, you have committed a faux paux. The natural progression of this is from number 1 to number 2 of course. It is pretty well accepted that any use of the SH word is cussing. Whether it be a noun, verb, or adjective, this is always a cuss word. Its derivatives are not quit as clear though as age comes into play again. If your child says they need to crap, they are most likely going to make their mother choke on her linguine. If you say you have to crap, you may or may not be cussing, that is up to the listener to decide. If an adult says they need to poop, odds are they have just cussed were as if their child makes the same statement they are likely to get away without causing offense. If you try to use more creative language like , ' leaving a mud snake in the lavatory' you're likely going to fail and be guilty of cussing regardless of age.

I was unaware as well that the location of both numbers 1 and number 2 could also be cuss words. If you think about it though, this does follow my above mentioned rule about having multiple names for no other apparent reason. Why would the name restroom have been invented otherwise, no one ever gets any rest in there. It goes by the names lavatory, bathroom, john, can, head, crapper, sh.......er, restroom, library, and many others. To my surprise any of these can be found offensive to some. My simply saying I need to stop by the bathroom can be viewed as offensive to some who feel that I am sharing too much information, and since their level of offense determines whether or not I just cussed, I may well have just been vulgar without knowing it.

Other odd things that fall into this discussion. The normal jovial holiday greeting of a certain bearded fat man may be found offensive to those who have great sympathy for women who practice the oldest profession. Yes, I said it, you can be offensive by saying ho ho ho.

I could ramble for days and days about this. This idea just fascinates me at the moment. My advice to you is simple, it is better to just smile and nod than risk speaking sometimes.