Cheer camp started this Tuesday, as usual we volunteered to make the 150 or so mile drive to Ohio Northern University for camp and took a total of 5 girls with us. Yes, that is five 12-13 year old girls in one vehicle for 150 miles...... Yes, I am insane.
12 year old girls pack like they are ...... well ..... 12 year old girls. Total weight of luggage would normally require an 18 wheeler with a heavy load exemption and an escort, usually a dually with flashing yellow lights. A barge and tug might have been a better choice, but ONU is landlocked so that wouldn't work.
Here is where things go downhill. I spend the evening quietly licking my wounds, alone in the house. At 9:30 I get a call. Dinner has gone well, new friends have been made, etc etc. But, its late and she doesn't feel like going to Walmart. So, again, I'm stuck!! I get up, change clothes and head down the road.
9:58 PM. I walk into my local Walmart ( Bowen Rd. Mason Ohio ) ... oh such a glorious place. I briefly look for where to pick up, don't see it. I go to customer service counter. I noticed as I came in, the lights in the little alcove were off, but there were 3 people still in there. As I walk towards the alcove, they vanish, vanish like gorillas into the mist of the jungle. I stand there, alone, listening to the sounds of distant jungle 
birds as I ponder my dilemma. Then, the sun shines through the forest canopy, just a little ray of light, a little ray of hope. An employee ( now10:01 PM ) exits a door into my presents. She looks at me, and I can tell she is pondering weather to ignore me or speak. She made the right call and spoke..... to tell me Customer Service was closed. ( she could have just told me it didn't exist, but I would soon find that out on my own ) The lady, however, was nice and asked if I just had a question. Upon asking , she kindly pointed me to the pick up alcove on opposite side of store.
Mission continues.
10:05 PM I walk up to register and find sign that sends me back out to electronics. I proceed to that register to wait my turn at the lottery. Eventually a kind women calls someone to come to the pick register. Progress has been made.
Alec shows up. Alec is a wonderfully kind man. I also observe that he is a man of small stature who seems very very nervous and somewhat terrified at the moment. I check my demeanor quickly to make sure I am not the cause of his shaking. I am not, but I make certain to be diligently complimentary and polite at this point. As I give him the pick up number and re-assure him there isn't a problem because my email confirmation says it was ready at 8:20. He looks, and then manages to tell me that he doesn't see it in the system. Its not here, or if it is I don't know where. Alec and some other employee from behind the curtain. ( Wizard of Oz reference ) attempt to explain that just because the email says so, doesn't make it so. Hmmm that seems odd, isn't that the purpose of the email. Still relatively calm at this point, I dutifully listen to their explanations. Man from behind the curtain says he is pulling orders that were due for pick up at 3:00 that afternoon. It is now 10:13PM. Alec apologizes for the 4th time and disappeared for a moment to go 'look' for the item. I think he was gone just long enough to breath in a brown paper bag a few times, but I'm still liking Alec. He did at some point explain that I could come get it tomorrow. Normally, that would be annoying but workable. In this case, not an option. So, I explained to Alec my situation and asked him to cancel the order and refund the money since it was paid for. He explained that I would need to do that at Customer Service ( enter Jungle bird noises in the distance ) Nope, Alec, they're closed.
I requested assistance from a store manager at this point to request that a manager take care of it since Customer Service was closed. For reasons I didn't yet understand, Alec's brow became sweaty and he started twitching a little more. I assured him that he is doing a great job and I appreciate his help. Alec calls his boss. I can hear his bosses response to Alec. Already, in my mind, this dude is going to be an issue. Manager tells Alec, " tell 'customer' he can take care of cancelling it himself at Walmart.com, he can call Walmart.com or he can come back tomorrow. We can't return it until after it arrives in our system."
Alec gets off phone, not knowing I can hear both sides of conversation. To Alec's credit he repeated what his boss said while trying to tone down his bosses attitude. Instead of saying , " take care of it himself" Alec said, " he told me that you could try to cancel the order online ". Thanks for trying Alec, you are being a good guy, but I'm not letting your boss off the hook just yet.
I told Alec, Ya know, I really don't want to come back, and I don't want to risk this getting put on my account and then having to wait to get it taken off later. I really would like 'the manager' to come talk to me and take care of this problem and explain why my confirmation says its here. I'm smiling, I'm being polite, and Alec is just wishing I would go away. He called his boss back who then answers the phone with "WHAT?" .... Yep, I'm not gonna like this guy, but saga continues. Alec then explains that I don't want to take care of it myself, I want to talk to him. I can hear the guy sigh and I can sense the eyeroll that went with it. This dude knows I could hit cancel button and hope for the best but he also knows that I want to explain to him that there is a problem with his system. He knows his system is failed so he doesn't want to hear it ...... again ...... ( my assumptions ) But, he is going to hear it again. His boss says to Alec, " I will be up there when I can". Again, to Alec's credit, he toned that down and not knowing I could hear his boss told me, " he said he'd right up, but it might be a minute". Alec kept apologizing and getting more and more nervous. By now I knew it wasn't me making him nervous. I again told Alec I had no problem with him and he was doing a great job. After a few minutes past I asked Alec if it would be easier if I just went to his boss, if he knows where he is, I can just go get him. Alec assured me he had no idea, he was on the floor somewhere probably taking care of another customer. Not likely Alec, but you are a good man. Please stop pacing in circles Alec, you're creepin me out.
10:39PM Roger (Alec's boss) abruptly plows out from behind the curtain. Without making eye contact with me (on purpose) he brushes within inches of me (personal space violation) and approaches Alec, who I think just peed a little. Alec quickly and dutifully runs thru the entire conversation again, repeating that he told me the policy and told me that it wasn't in the system etc etc. At this point, all I want, and I attempted to explain this to Roger, is to understand why I have a confirmation that says it's available, yet it isn't, and to have Roger acknowledge that his system is broken and someone is trying to fix it so customers stop getting screwed. I also want assurance that the order is canceled ( doing it myself still an option, but it say REQUEST to cancel as in maybe so maybe not)
Roger then faces me, his full on 'tude strikes now.
I begin, ( still polite, but I'm struggling) by trying to show him the confirmation on my phone.
Me: it says here that this item, that I have paid for, is available for pick up at 8:20 today, so I wa....... ( interruption)
Roger: Those aren't correct.
Me: but, it says ..... (interruption)
Roger: It's a problem, a problem with Walmart.com, they aren't correct.
Me: ( yep, just lost it) So, your attempt to provide Customer Service is to tell me to take care of it myself.
Roger: (he just lost it too) It ALSO says right there you can cancel, if it hasn't shipped,
ME: has it shipped?
Roger: (non-verbal shrug)
Me: So, I want ....... (interruption)
Roger: you can call Walmart.com for..... (interruption)
Me: So, you're telling me you're useless !!
Roger: ( yep, he done); thanks for that ( he begins to storm off towards swinging doors of doom, slams doors open.
Me: So, you're just gonna let it go and pass the blame to ..... (an non living entity who can't respond, but that's too many words to attempt because I just got surprised)Roger: ( non verbal, but as doors are closing , as he is sliding back into Oz, he "basically" flips me off)
Roger is now gone, back to hunt Pokemon I suppose, or back to the Bejeweled game we obviously
interrupted.
A couple of things, what does, 'basically' flips off look like. It's, well, the arm gesture and intention are clear, but its more of a European version as opposed to the single digit salute.
I hadn't as of yet been able to acquire Rogers name. Since Roger was not dressed in Walmart attire but rather an oxford button down and khaki slacks ( well, he's a guy, so ) so there was no name tag. Upon beginning to find my way out of the store I follow the sweat droplets on the floor back to Alec who is in electronics with a really nice lady. I thank Alec again, and ask for the managers name since he departed without sharing that information. Alec, a good man, a good company man, said he was new and didn't know his name. Really Alec, you called him on speed dial twice Alec....... However, the nice lady said, " his name is Roger and you should really call corporate at the 800 number"
As I began the process of going over Rogers head I began to notice something about Walmart. They make it very difficult to contact a human to discuss any issue. Phone numbers lead to phone trees which lead to imaginary people who don't get back to you. There is no place on line to email customer service and have it go to a person. I did find a little tab, eventually, that was entitled 'feedback'. This innocuous little button did lead to a place that allowed me to send a message to Walmart corp. However, there are two issues with the feedback button. First, it limits my complaint to 1000 characters. Second, right above the form, no lie, they tell you they will not respond to your feedback due to the high volume of messages. That in itself tells me, they know they have issues, and they will fix them if and when they feel like it but don't need meddlesome customers telling them whats wrong.
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