I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I might just share a little update about Gracie. I have been thinking a lot lately about her journey through life. The impetus for this is that her birthday is coming at the end of the month. That is correct peeps, Gracie turns 8 this month.
First, I want to spend a minute talking about her tumbling/cheer classes. She is enrolled at TNT Tumble Dance and Cheer. (TNT). She goes to class between 2 and 4 times a week depending on her Little Miami Cheer schedule. Just talking about it doesn't make it seem like a big deal, but then, you can't see it through my eyes. My eyes have a blurred sense of memory, when I look at Gracie I can still see that frightened 15 month old baby. That 15 month old who could not walk, could not crawl, and could barely sit up on her own. I see that 15 month old peanut of a child who would scoot on her butt to try and get around the room. I see that 15 month old who was way behind the curve in her gross motor skills and her fine motor skills as well. I also see that 2-1/2 year old who would stagger and fall down when she tried to walk too fast. I see the little girl whose limbs would stiffin up to look like a mannequin when she tried to run. I see that 5 year old who tried and tried and tried to learn how to ride a bike, but balance was a concept that she just didn't have the muscles for. My eyes remember the little girl who doubts herself and always questions if she can. My eyes remember the little girl who is so personable one moment and painfully and awkwardly shy the next, so loving with someone and then so reserved and introverted the very next second. My eyes remember all of these things with great clarity. Every bit of this is only a distant memory when Gracie is on the tumble floor or in front of the crowd in her cheer uniform !! In this setting she is powerful, she is graceful, she is self confident and a warrior willing to challenge the world. I have watched her little flower bud and head into full bloom on the tumble floor. My little 15 month old frightened child is now doing round-off back hand springs alone on the floor. She still struggles on the floor, but the power and effort are there, its just refining her technique. She does them beautifully on the tramp, and if she does them into the pit ( soft squishy landing area ) she almost flies. I don't pretend to think she is perfect, I don't think she does the best round off back handspring in the world, yes, I admit other kids do them too and some might have better technique, BUT, every pass she takes across the floor is a perfect pass to me. It's perfect to me because I see what they do to her soul !! I see the confidence build up in her spirit, I see the pride in herself grow with each success, I have seen what was her frail little body gain strength and power that 6 years ago I couldn't have even imagined.
Not all that long ago Gracie was still working on the back hand spring going into the pit. During the time the kids would do their running tumbling, Gracie would line up to practice on the tramp into the pit. Finally, after many many many months of this, she graduated to practicing on the floor. She was just beaming with pride when she got moved. We have paid for a few private lessons as well, she gets to spend a half hour with her favorite coach ( the owners daughter) and gets individualized attention and lessons. She gets so excited about her private lessons you would think we bought her a puppy or something. I think she knows just how much progress she makes when she gets to do this. She goes full out the whole half hour. You wouldn't think a half hour of anything would wear out a 7 year old, but let me tell you, a half hour private lesson with the TNT staff will wear anybody out. I need a nap just watching her.
So, if you see me sitting up on the observation deck watching my girl tumble around the room, you might now have some idea why I am smiling so much. If you look too closely, you might see just a bit of moisture in my eyes once in a while. If you do, don't worry, all is well, I am just seeing two Gracie's with my blurry double vision memory. I see both the frightened frail 15 month old and the powerful, self confident blossoming 7 year old athlete at the same time in my eyes.
Forbidden City
Great Wall
Me and Angie in China
About Me
- Gracesdad
- Maineville, Ohio, United States
- This is my photography blog. I am focusing on emotional contrast. I am trying to design my images to show a conflict. Sometimes its a conflict between nature and things man has made, sometimes its other things.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Morning
Morning people..... this morning was one of those mornings. Let me give you a peek into my brain today. ( fear not, I will keep it PG-13 )
4:45 AM : alarm goes off. I have two alarms set, my cell phone and a radio alarm clock. This is the radio playing something brain damaging from the 80's. I awake , song is instantly stuck in my head. I think to myself, this is going to be a good day, I am wide awake without struggling so I will hit snooze, take a few good deep breaths to get the oxygen going and turn off the alarm. I can't see the clock so I reach for what I think is the right button and just keep pushing until the sound dies. There, now I will get up.
5:00 AM : Cell phone alarm goes off, and wakes me up. Oupps. I fell back asleep somehow. Well, that is why I use multiple alarms. Well, lets do this again, deep breaths to get oxygen going, in .... out........in.........out........in...........out.............................in....................................out....
5:10 AM : Cell phone alarm goes off, and wakes me up, AGAIN. Dang, I thought I got up last time. I squeeze the life out of the cell phone until that stupid ring tone stops. This time I sit up. Well, this is the time I actually need to get up so all is well. Gracie has crawled in bed during the night and is pressed against me. Echo, our dog, follows Gracie everywhere so she is next to me as well. The bed is so warm and snugly. But I am sitting up, so it is time to get up.
5:20 AM : Cell phone alarm goes off again, and wakes me up, again. Now wait just a minute here, I was sitting up, how did I get back under the covers? (deep sigh ) I was awake and jolly at 4:45 now I am crossed eyed, sleepy, and running behind. Uhgggg. I stand up, surely I can't sleep standing up.
I put on my work shirt and pull up my work pants, shove my cell phone in my pocket and grab a pair of socks. I stagger into the bathroom for the obligatory morning sink the sailor session. ( for those unfamiliar with that phrase, it means to engage in the morning pee while the toilet is in the middle of a flush. Its much more fun to pee into spinning water while humming ' yo ho ho its a pirates life for me')
Now while I was singing and peeing, I managed to drop my socks in the sink. Why the sink still had a little water in it I don't know, but just let me tell you, I hate putting on socks only to find out they are wet in spots. ICKY. Now, the next thing that needs accomplished, after the pee, is to zip and button the work pants. This is more of an adventure than it needed to be, allow me to elaborate.
Every once in a while you go to zip up your pants only to find that somehow the zipper had turned itself straight down and gotten wedged in the bottom of the opening. Best case scenario, you have to engage in that awkward fishing maneuver to attempt to wiggle out the top of the zipper so you can zip your pants, worse case......... pliers. I managed to get the zipper unstuck. All is well, right? No, now I must button my pants. Inhale, squeeze button through hole, exhale, duck. Why duck you ask? Duck because when I exhaled, my button flew off the pants, bounced around in the dark. The splash at the end told me of the final resting place of the button. (Yo ho ho, its a pirates life for me. )
Well 5:25 AM and I have to change pants. I am almost able to focus now, pants off, pants on. ( You should have heard that said in the voice of Miyagi ) Zipper works this time, button works as well. As I walk down the stairs I am able to smooth out my now wadded up boxers and flatten the legs as well as remove them from their curled up my crack position. I accomplish this as I am going down the steps ( master of multitasking am I. ( you should have heard that in the voice of Yoda )). I notice now that my socks are still wet. Why did I not change socks when I changed pants? How easy would socks off, socks on have been ? ( Miyagi again ) I don't know but its 5:27 AM now so wet socks will dry.
Shoes on, accoutrement's collected, teeth brushed and in car by 5:31 AM.
I open garage door, look to make sure its open and all the way up, back out, watch door close. beep beep..... whats that? My cell phone just beeped to tell me something, but what !! Oh, I left my blue tooth in the house. Garage door open, garage door closed. ( Miyagi again )
Finally I am on the way.
I love to drive on wet roads when its no longer raining.
Why ?
Puddles. Rain makes puddles, I love the sound of tires splashing puddled water. Bonus points for soaking an early morning jogger.
Yo ho ho its a pirates life for me........
sing it with me......
Yo ho ho its a pirates life for me, yo ho ho even a pirate has to pee......
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Utopia.
Time to build Utopia.
I want to build the perfect world. A world were everything is fair, nobody has any issues, nobody has any cares, and nobody has any problems. A place were life is beautiful all the time. A place of calm rest and when someone talks someone else listens and doesn't interrupt them. A place of intellectual growth without the stress of competition. Some would call this magical and imaginary place Utopia, but I shall call in Myland since it is mine after all.
First, in order to build Myland, I shall appoint myself King and head of construction, rules, and governance.
Rule number one. The first thing that seems to keep people from being happy and beautiful is a perceived lack. Usually a perceived lack of money. To avoid this, I shall outlaw being poor. From this point forward in Myland, no one is permitted to be poor, as said by decree of the King of Myland. There, problem solved, we don't have the poor around anymore so we don't have to feel guilty. Feeling guilty makes us not feel beautiful so we can't have that. The poor often feel jealous, and feeling jealous makes them not feel beautiful, again , problem solved. The poor also often feel sad, depressed, overlooked, and forgotten. I have cured all these ailments and made them happy and beautiful again by outlawing poverty. Never again shall the poor want , for want is banished as is being poor.
Rule number two: Something else that seems to cause many people sadness is the disparity between weekdays and weekends. Weekends are so short and they end with something called Monday. By decree of the King, there will be no more Mondays. Logically this is a problem because then the sadness, grumpiness and ire for Monday will just be juxtaposed upon Tuesday and thus accomplish nothing but transiency. Therefore I , the King and benevolent ruler of Myland will banish all the days of the week. We will have no more weekdays, no more days, time will become fluid and not broken into time frames that my people , the Mylanders, do not enjoy fully. Since there is no separation between weekday and weekend, workdays will exist only at our convenience and can separated by as much or as little time as the worker sees fit.
Rule number three : This is the Mr. Obvious Rule. Since I am the sole King, I am also the sole governor and thus the only government. People don't like politicians, they are not beautiful people who make the rest of us enjoy our beautiful lives. They are unnecessary in Myland and thus by default, there are no more politicians. Without politicians, we have no election and therefore no annoying political adds. This condition alone increases the happiness quotient in Myland. There is no bickering about left or right, only joyful Utopian moderation.
Rule number four : One other great source of ugliness is fairness. It would appear that life does not treat all people the same and that is not fair. Everyone wants everything to be fair, and well, it would only be fair if life worked that way, right? So, I decree the Myland Fairness policy of this and all generations here to forth. By rule of me, I declare and ordain that all things are fair and unfairness is abolished, banned, and ruled out of order and illegal. My kingdom shall have no unfairness. To enforce this rule, anytime unfairness is spotted, it must be rendered and put asunder and replaced with fairness immediately. Fair is to be defined by all parties involved in the activity or action or circumstance that was called to question as unfair. Transferring from proclaimed unfairness to fairness must happen immediately if not sooner, post haste.
Rule number 5: In order to really be joyous, beautiful, and full of much joyness, all things must be accessible to all people. This will eliminate coveting, jealousy, greed, ambition, and lust. In order to do this, we must share all things equally. Everything except my sole power to rule over Myland of course, somebody has to be in charge, right. This will create some obvious logistical problems, but they can be solved by rule number 4. I realize that my socks might not fit your feet, but you're welcome to share them with me anyway, that would only be fair. This of course means we will have new definitions of relationships too. It is hard to be monogamous and share at the same time, but we all must share so therefore there will really be no more marriages. Since we will be sharing kids as well, the family unit will need to be redefined a bit too. Now, keep in mind rule number 4, it would not be fair for all of us to share our kids with the same person at the same time. That would not be fair to them to have so many kids all of the sudden.
Rule number 6 : As king I decree there shall be no gallivanting around. Why, because I said so, I just don't like gallivanting around. Its unbecoming. All that hem hawing , messin' and gaumin'. I don't want none of that.
Rule number 7: After putting more thought into this, it seems what causes the most ugliness in the world is the perceived differences between its people. I have set out to remove the ugly and only leave the beautiful. I have made it illegal to be poor, or rich. I have made it impossible to be jealous or greedy. I have made it so everything is fair. I don't think this solves all the problems in heading towards perfection. In order to be happy, I am afraid that people cannot be allowed to see any difference between themselves and other people. One simple way to abolish racism forever is to make everyone blind. So, I as King so do now ordain that everyone must close their eyes and keep them closed for at least two generations. After two generations have passed, perhaps we will be able to see one another without preconceived notions of worth.
Rule number 8 : Lastly, I declare that there will be the addition of a national holiday. The Myland let it B day. On this day we will celebrate all things that begin with the letter B. Boogers, will be hung on windows in glorious celebration. Body odor is an expected tradition on this special day. Beards will go unshaven for weeks prior. Beer will be drank with friends, in moderation of course. Beanies will be worn on our heads as traditional dress. The kids will celebrate an imaginary character named Bailiwig who sneaks in the Basement to deliver Baked goods left in Ball caps that are left on the Banister. Good kids get Bagels and Bavarian cream filled Bon Bons, bad kid get Baked Beans and Biscuits. Remember kids, Bailiwig is watching so you had better Behave............
I want to build the perfect world. A world were everything is fair, nobody has any issues, nobody has any cares, and nobody has any problems. A place were life is beautiful all the time. A place of calm rest and when someone talks someone else listens and doesn't interrupt them. A place of intellectual growth without the stress of competition. Some would call this magical and imaginary place Utopia, but I shall call in Myland since it is mine after all.
First, in order to build Myland, I shall appoint myself King and head of construction, rules, and governance.
Rule number one. The first thing that seems to keep people from being happy and beautiful is a perceived lack. Usually a perceived lack of money. To avoid this, I shall outlaw being poor. From this point forward in Myland, no one is permitted to be poor, as said by decree of the King of Myland. There, problem solved, we don't have the poor around anymore so we don't have to feel guilty. Feeling guilty makes us not feel beautiful so we can't have that. The poor often feel jealous, and feeling jealous makes them not feel beautiful, again , problem solved. The poor also often feel sad, depressed, overlooked, and forgotten. I have cured all these ailments and made them happy and beautiful again by outlawing poverty. Never again shall the poor want , for want is banished as is being poor.
Rule number two: Something else that seems to cause many people sadness is the disparity between weekdays and weekends. Weekends are so short and they end with something called Monday. By decree of the King, there will be no more Mondays. Logically this is a problem because then the sadness, grumpiness and ire for Monday will just be juxtaposed upon Tuesday and thus accomplish nothing but transiency. Therefore I , the King and benevolent ruler of Myland will banish all the days of the week. We will have no more weekdays, no more days, time will become fluid and not broken into time frames that my people , the Mylanders, do not enjoy fully. Since there is no separation between weekday and weekend, workdays will exist only at our convenience and can separated by as much or as little time as the worker sees fit.
Rule number three : This is the Mr. Obvious Rule. Since I am the sole King, I am also the sole governor and thus the only government. People don't like politicians, they are not beautiful people who make the rest of us enjoy our beautiful lives. They are unnecessary in Myland and thus by default, there are no more politicians. Without politicians, we have no election and therefore no annoying political adds. This condition alone increases the happiness quotient in Myland. There is no bickering about left or right, only joyful Utopian moderation.
Rule number four : One other great source of ugliness is fairness. It would appear that life does not treat all people the same and that is not fair. Everyone wants everything to be fair, and well, it would only be fair if life worked that way, right? So, I decree the Myland Fairness policy of this and all generations here to forth. By rule of me, I declare and ordain that all things are fair and unfairness is abolished, banned, and ruled out of order and illegal. My kingdom shall have no unfairness. To enforce this rule, anytime unfairness is spotted, it must be rendered and put asunder and replaced with fairness immediately. Fair is to be defined by all parties involved in the activity or action or circumstance that was called to question as unfair. Transferring from proclaimed unfairness to fairness must happen immediately if not sooner, post haste.
Rule number 5: In order to really be joyous, beautiful, and full of much joyness, all things must be accessible to all people. This will eliminate coveting, jealousy, greed, ambition, and lust. In order to do this, we must share all things equally. Everything except my sole power to rule over Myland of course, somebody has to be in charge, right. This will create some obvious logistical problems, but they can be solved by rule number 4. I realize that my socks might not fit your feet, but you're welcome to share them with me anyway, that would only be fair. This of course means we will have new definitions of relationships too. It is hard to be monogamous and share at the same time, but we all must share so therefore there will really be no more marriages. Since we will be sharing kids as well, the family unit will need to be redefined a bit too. Now, keep in mind rule number 4, it would not be fair for all of us to share our kids with the same person at the same time. That would not be fair to them to have so many kids all of the sudden.
Rule number 6 : As king I decree there shall be no gallivanting around. Why, because I said so, I just don't like gallivanting around. Its unbecoming. All that hem hawing , messin' and gaumin'. I don't want none of that.
Rule number 7: After putting more thought into this, it seems what causes the most ugliness in the world is the perceived differences between its people. I have set out to remove the ugly and only leave the beautiful. I have made it illegal to be poor, or rich. I have made it impossible to be jealous or greedy. I have made it so everything is fair. I don't think this solves all the problems in heading towards perfection. In order to be happy, I am afraid that people cannot be allowed to see any difference between themselves and other people. One simple way to abolish racism forever is to make everyone blind. So, I as King so do now ordain that everyone must close their eyes and keep them closed for at least two generations. After two generations have passed, perhaps we will be able to see one another without preconceived notions of worth.
Rule number 8 : Lastly, I declare that there will be the addition of a national holiday. The Myland let it B day. On this day we will celebrate all things that begin with the letter B. Boogers, will be hung on windows in glorious celebration. Body odor is an expected tradition on this special day. Beards will go unshaven for weeks prior. Beer will be drank with friends, in moderation of course. Beanies will be worn on our heads as traditional dress. The kids will celebrate an imaginary character named Bailiwig who sneaks in the Basement to deliver Baked goods left in Ball caps that are left on the Banister. Good kids get Bagels and Bavarian cream filled Bon Bons, bad kid get Baked Beans and Biscuits. Remember kids, Bailiwig is watching so you had better Behave............
Onomatopoeia
This post has nothing to do with words that sound like what they are (crash). I just like saying the word onomatopoeia.
It has been some time since I updated you all on what is going on with Gracie.
Gracie is now in second grade. It is entertaining to watch her mature and become more outspoken and questioning of life in general. As she grows her life and relationships become more complicated and she struggles to understand the rules of life ( or lack there of ). She attends Hamilton Maineville Elementary this year and should have been there next year as well, but due to budget cuts and a levy failing 7 times in a row at this point, her school is being closed. In the near future the district may be dissolved entirely and pushed out into the surrounding areas.
She is enrolled in tumbling classes at TNT Nitro Tumble Dance and Cheer. She has learned to do a cartwheel, roundoff, and is so very close to a back handspring. She can do it with a spotter and the spotter hardly touches her, but she still lacks the confidence to do it if she doesnt feel that hand on her back as she goes over. It is a beautiful thing to watch. I can remember not all that long ago, watching her at 15 months try to learn to crawl. She was so far behind at that point. Now she can almost fly, it makes me want to cry. ( hey, I rhymed ) She has cheered for Little Miami's Youth league for 3 years and we now have her enrolled in TNT performance cheer. She loves to cheer, that much is clear. ( Hey, I rhymed again ) When she found out she got to cheer for TNT she wanted me to explain the difference between performance cheer and competition cheer because she wants to be a flyer in competition. She was happy just to find out that there will not be a game going on behind her, seems that is a distraction, people are watching the game and not the cheerleader, or more precisely, not watching her. Her self confidence still has its spells, she plays shy sometimes when it makes no sense, but by and large she is a ham. A wonderful, sweet, talkative, loving, and kind ham. Spoken as the proud parent that I am. ( stop rhyming, I mean it. Anybody want a peanut?)
Gracie has a new best friend. These two girls are so sweet and loving together, they hug, they giggle and they are priceless to watch. They used to be in class together but her friend switched schools because of the levy issues, now we just arrange for them to spend time together. The girls and the mommas are taking a trip to Chicago in April to go to the American Girl Doll Museum. It is interesting for me to watch them as they develop their relationship. They get frustrated with each other, they get grumpy with each other, but they never get mad at each other, they know it will all be okay and they will work through each issue.
Gracie is doing well in school. She reads well ahead of where she should, she does this because she loves to read and does it all the time just because she wants to. I now have a Borders club card and we go there or Barnes and Noble and pick out books to read. She has read all of the ," Diary of a Wimpy Kid " books ( a little too old for her ) and all the Junie B. Jones books, and now she is working on the Geronimo Stilton collection. I may need a library room for her. Geronimo Stilton is an odd little mouse dude that she is just loving at the moment. Gracie prints and spells very well, she prints neater than I do. Her vocabulary is scary. ( stop rhyming ) She loves big words and uses them surprisingly well. Her week point is math. We were working on counting money the other night. She can add change very well as long as she works at it. I made the mistake of asking her what a half a dollar was though. Half a dollar is 30. Not even 30 cents, just 30. This will come....
Gracie's momma, my lovely wife, really works hard on teaching manners and proper etiquette. This is good because if you know me, Gracie is going to get real world life, but not lady like demeanor from me. Gracie was upset with a little girl and her mother the other day at tumbling. The lady had moved Gracie's coat without asking Gracie and the little girl is 4 and wants to talk to Gracie but seems to want to do so while being 1/2" from her face. As we were leaving Gracie informed me that, " that little girl is rude and she gets it from her mother" Note that she didn't say her mom, her momma, or her mommy, which is what she says about my wife. She said, "mother". This is the equivalent of using a child's middle name I think.
One of the biggest issues in the Wilson house is the sin of interrupting someone. It is not polite to interrupt someone when they are talking. It is twice as bad to interrupt two adults talking when you are 7 years old. Momma is the teacher of manners and etiquette so she keeps on Gracie about this issue. Ironic issue, this is not mommas strong suit shall we say. Gracie is having issue learning this proper behavior. At this point, the standard mode of operation is Gracie will wait for that 1/2 second of dead air when the ongoing conversation might be over or at least at a pause and they say, " sorry to interrupt, but..........." It makes no difference that she is still interrupting, but she is interrupting politely, right !! Personally, I am happy with this, but we are still working on it. Gracie, particularly with me, has a strange ability to talk without pause or breath. She talks fast because she is afraid someone will tell her to stop and she still has words to use.
Speaking of sin, Gracie loves her new church. Well, its not all that new, we have been going for over a year now. She goes to Sunday school and children's church both and loves it. She has memorized all the books of both the testaments and several different scriptures.
We have had some issues. She has one little girl who is a player and is playing my naive little Gracie. This girl sits relatively close to her in class. She is nice to her, but she keeps manipulating her mind and trying to control her. This will stop, Gracie is working it herself right now, but we are aware and the teacher will be made aware just to keep it from getting out of control. The next issue was much larger and we are still dealing with the after effects months later.
If you have an adopted child, I would advise you play it safe and just skip the movie Tangled. There is nothing inherently bad about the movie, but it can have some bad effects that manifest themselves differently with each child that reacts to the movie. Bottom line is there is a character in the story who stole a baby and pretended to be the mother. This character did not love the child, only raised them and the kids are smart enough to pick up on this. The saccharin nature of the character and the eventual demise can be stressful for some younger kids and they cannot articulate well the reasons for the feelings they don't really grasp fully. With Gracie, this led to not wanted to sleep, not wanted to go to bed alone, and not wanted to be by herself upstairs to shower. We have largely overcome these problems, but they are not gone entirely. We worked with our pastor and did our best as parents to get past this irrational fear. With making some compromises, Gracie now goes to bed, sleeps though the night, and takes a shower without me sitting outside the bathroom door. The shower curtain , however, is rolled up out of the way only leaving the clear liner so she can see out into the hallway. Her dog echo sits in the hallway and just watches in fascination. Gracie sings , ( loudly and badly ) to entertain herself and keep the 'bad thoughts' away.
Well this has been a brief update , there are more things I could talk about, but I will stop for now. We are going to St. Louis to visit the "Hunan" sisters next weekend. I should have pictures and stories from our travels then.....
It has been some time since I updated you all on what is going on with Gracie.
Gracie is now in second grade. It is entertaining to watch her mature and become more outspoken and questioning of life in general. As she grows her life and relationships become more complicated and she struggles to understand the rules of life ( or lack there of ). She attends Hamilton Maineville Elementary this year and should have been there next year as well, but due to budget cuts and a levy failing 7 times in a row at this point, her school is being closed. In the near future the district may be dissolved entirely and pushed out into the surrounding areas.
She is enrolled in tumbling classes at TNT Nitro Tumble Dance and Cheer. She has learned to do a cartwheel, roundoff, and is so very close to a back handspring. She can do it with a spotter and the spotter hardly touches her, but she still lacks the confidence to do it if she doesnt feel that hand on her back as she goes over. It is a beautiful thing to watch. I can remember not all that long ago, watching her at 15 months try to learn to crawl. She was so far behind at that point. Now she can almost fly, it makes me want to cry. ( hey, I rhymed ) She has cheered for Little Miami's Youth league for 3 years and we now have her enrolled in TNT performance cheer. She loves to cheer, that much is clear. ( Hey, I rhymed again ) When she found out she got to cheer for TNT she wanted me to explain the difference between performance cheer and competition cheer because she wants to be a flyer in competition. She was happy just to find out that there will not be a game going on behind her, seems that is a distraction, people are watching the game and not the cheerleader, or more precisely, not watching her. Her self confidence still has its spells, she plays shy sometimes when it makes no sense, but by and large she is a ham. A wonderful, sweet, talkative, loving, and kind ham. Spoken as the proud parent that I am. ( stop rhyming, I mean it. Anybody want a peanut?)
Gracie has a new best friend. These two girls are so sweet and loving together, they hug, they giggle and they are priceless to watch. They used to be in class together but her friend switched schools because of the levy issues, now we just arrange for them to spend time together. The girls and the mommas are taking a trip to Chicago in April to go to the American Girl Doll Museum. It is interesting for me to watch them as they develop their relationship. They get frustrated with each other, they get grumpy with each other, but they never get mad at each other, they know it will all be okay and they will work through each issue.
Gracie is doing well in school. She reads well ahead of where she should, she does this because she loves to read and does it all the time just because she wants to. I now have a Borders club card and we go there or Barnes and Noble and pick out books to read. She has read all of the ," Diary of a Wimpy Kid " books ( a little too old for her ) and all the Junie B. Jones books, and now she is working on the Geronimo Stilton collection. I may need a library room for her. Geronimo Stilton is an odd little mouse dude that she is just loving at the moment. Gracie prints and spells very well, she prints neater than I do. Her vocabulary is scary. ( stop rhyming ) She loves big words and uses them surprisingly well. Her week point is math. We were working on counting money the other night. She can add change very well as long as she works at it. I made the mistake of asking her what a half a dollar was though. Half a dollar is 30. Not even 30 cents, just 30. This will come....
Gracie's momma, my lovely wife, really works hard on teaching manners and proper etiquette. This is good because if you know me, Gracie is going to get real world life, but not lady like demeanor from me. Gracie was upset with a little girl and her mother the other day at tumbling. The lady had moved Gracie's coat without asking Gracie and the little girl is 4 and wants to talk to Gracie but seems to want to do so while being 1/2" from her face. As we were leaving Gracie informed me that, " that little girl is rude and she gets it from her mother" Note that she didn't say her mom, her momma, or her mommy, which is what she says about my wife. She said, "mother". This is the equivalent of using a child's middle name I think.
One of the biggest issues in the Wilson house is the sin of interrupting someone. It is not polite to interrupt someone when they are talking. It is twice as bad to interrupt two adults talking when you are 7 years old. Momma is the teacher of manners and etiquette so she keeps on Gracie about this issue. Ironic issue, this is not mommas strong suit shall we say. Gracie is having issue learning this proper behavior. At this point, the standard mode of operation is Gracie will wait for that 1/2 second of dead air when the ongoing conversation might be over or at least at a pause and they say, " sorry to interrupt, but..........." It makes no difference that she is still interrupting, but she is interrupting politely, right !! Personally, I am happy with this, but we are still working on it. Gracie, particularly with me, has a strange ability to talk without pause or breath. She talks fast because she is afraid someone will tell her to stop and she still has words to use.
Speaking of sin, Gracie loves her new church. Well, its not all that new, we have been going for over a year now. She goes to Sunday school and children's church both and loves it. She has memorized all the books of both the testaments and several different scriptures.
We have had some issues. She has one little girl who is a player and is playing my naive little Gracie. This girl sits relatively close to her in class. She is nice to her, but she keeps manipulating her mind and trying to control her. This will stop, Gracie is working it herself right now, but we are aware and the teacher will be made aware just to keep it from getting out of control. The next issue was much larger and we are still dealing with the after effects months later.
If you have an adopted child, I would advise you play it safe and just skip the movie Tangled. There is nothing inherently bad about the movie, but it can have some bad effects that manifest themselves differently with each child that reacts to the movie. Bottom line is there is a character in the story who stole a baby and pretended to be the mother. This character did not love the child, only raised them and the kids are smart enough to pick up on this. The saccharin nature of the character and the eventual demise can be stressful for some younger kids and they cannot articulate well the reasons for the feelings they don't really grasp fully. With Gracie, this led to not wanted to sleep, not wanted to go to bed alone, and not wanted to be by herself upstairs to shower. We have largely overcome these problems, but they are not gone entirely. We worked with our pastor and did our best as parents to get past this irrational fear. With making some compromises, Gracie now goes to bed, sleeps though the night, and takes a shower without me sitting outside the bathroom door. The shower curtain , however, is rolled up out of the way only leaving the clear liner so she can see out into the hallway. Her dog echo sits in the hallway and just watches in fascination. Gracie sings , ( loudly and badly ) to entertain herself and keep the 'bad thoughts' away.
Well this has been a brief update , there are more things I could talk about, but I will stop for now. We are going to St. Louis to visit the "Hunan" sisters next weekend. I should have pictures and stories from our travels then.....
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Anatomy of a cuss word......
First, this post is in no way intended to be vulgar, profane, or inappropriate for younger readers. I will endeavor to not use any real cuss words in the following post, however, that is the subject of the following monologue. What is a cuss word?
The first thing I notice when bringing up the subject is that we, we being English speaking Americans, can not even agree on what to call cuss words. Some variants of the topic include, curse words, dirty words, foul words, offensive words, profanity or profane words, swear words...... and this is just the beginning of the list. As a point of interest ( or disinterest, I found it interesting ) Mark Twain was the first to coin the term 'cuss' word in 1872.
So, I ask you, what is a cuss word.
Standard definition:
1. a profane or obscene word, esp. as used in anger or for emphasis.
2. any term conceived of as offensive.
The first thing that you might notice is that it is ANY word that is CONCEIVED as OFFENSIVE. That means that the definition of a cuss word is dependant upon the opinion of the listener. I find that interesting. It is interesting because that means that I may say something that I don't feel is at all improper , but yet, the person I am speaking to will feel they are being cussed at. Wow, that is a communication revelation on my part.
Why is this important?
Well, first off, we have scripture in the Bible that tells us that it is not what we put into our mouths that defiles us, but what comes out of it. This , among others, reminds us that we should refrain from being foul to each other at the very least. We are also instructed to use our words to build each other up and encourage one another. Cussing at someone, even if you do not realize you're doing it, is something to be avoided.
Secondly, for my secular friends, cussing can also be an issue in 'polite company' as it is called. Not all walks of society view profanity as an acceptable form of communication, especially in the workplace.
These are only two simple reasons why we might not want to make the sailor blush, but they are by no means meant to be an all encompassing list.
What strikes me is our ability to cuss without even knowing that we are doing it and the listener ( if we are so blessed as to actually have a listener ) is being offended and making judgements about us without our knowledge. I mean, how hard can it be to not cuss ? If I start tossing F-bombs around, I think I know I am cussing right? Well, its just not that simple........
Time for a list of examples:
Some words are cuss words totally dependant upon their use. For example, one word can be used to describe a four legged mammal also known as a donkey or burro. This same word is used to describe a body part on which you sit, or a neighbor with questionable behavior. Now, by my personal standards, only the last example would be cussing, but I am in the minority on that. Most folks view using that word to describe a body part as cussing as well. The next thing that adds to the confusion is the words we therefore use as substitutes for the potential cuss word. If I chose to use butt, instead of the potential offender, I still have cussed in the eyes of some. This becomes more apparent when you add in an age factor. Most adults will use and hear the word butt and not be offended, yet it their child , lets just say a 7 year old, says butt, now they have an issue. The child should say bottom, can, derriere, tookus, or some such instead of the word butt..... Now it starts to become clear as to why it is sometimes confusing........
Now the magical B word. When the announcer at the Kennel Club dog show refers to a fine female dog by that term, it is an accepted form of communication, however, when the same word is used to describe the high maintenance and temperamental wife of your neighbor, it is now an offensive word. We must exercises caution when using any questionable vocabulary.
Now lets talk anatomy. This gets very convoluted very quickly. If a gentlemen has the name of Richard, he is typically not called by that full name. Some examples fail this test, perhaps the most famous is Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon is almost always called Richard, although he did earn the nickname in popular culture of his day of Tricky Dick. If someone has the name of Richard it is perfectly normal to call him by this shortened version. However, using the exact same word to refer to the male privates is offensive to a lot of folks and therefore is a cuss word. In fact, there are almost no acceptable terms to use at all that name the male privates. Even when we use correct medical terms, if we are not speaking to our spouse or an MD, we are most likely offending and therefore cussing. Men make this even more convoluted than it needs to be because we have adapted so many different names to refer to this region. If we speak of the twins, we may simply be talking about our cousins who were born at the same time 3 years ago, but we may be cussing. When we speak of chubby, we had better be talking about the extra pounds we added over the holidays or we are guilty of cussing again.
Now on to body functions. I did not know that the most commonly used word to describe the release of built up intestinal gas ( yes the F - word ) was a cuss word. I had no idea that some people find the word offensive. Finding the odor offensive, or even the sound offensive perhaps, but the word ? Yes, if you are like me and unaware, every time you say the F-word, you are risking cussing in front of someone. The standard rule of thumb I am finding is that if a word has a large host of options and derivatives, that may be because the word being replaced is frequently found to be impolite. Just as in reference to the large host of names available for the male privates, there is a long list of replacement words for the F-word. Passing gas is at least a little better I am told, as is breaking wind. I am told that butt whistling is not an appropriate substitute.
Another natural body function that comes into question is the act of relieving oneself. This one works the opposite from others I have listed in that it is more appropriate for young children to use the word than it is us adults. Yep, you guessed it, the word is pee. Adults expect adults to use the word urinate, but if your youngin' says they have to pee, its generally not viewed as kids cussing. In contrast, if I as a 42 year old man mention I have to pee, it is considered rather chide and classless, why, because it brings offense and thus I have cussed. Anytime the other P word is used, you know the one that sounds like a snake hiss, you have committed a faux paux. The natural progression of this is from number 1 to number 2 of course. It is pretty well accepted that any use of the SH word is cussing. Whether it be a noun, verb, or adjective, this is always a cuss word. Its derivatives are not quit as clear though as age comes into play again. If your child says they need to crap, they are most likely going to make their mother choke on her linguine. If you say you have to crap, you may or may not be cussing, that is up to the listener to decide. If an adult says they need to poop, odds are they have just cussed were as if their child makes the same statement they are likely to get away without causing offense. If you try to use more creative language like , ' leaving a mud snake in the lavatory' you're likely going to fail and be guilty of cussing regardless of age.
I was unaware as well that the location of both numbers 1 and number 2 could also be cuss words. If you think about it though, this does follow my above mentioned rule about having multiple names for no other apparent reason. Why would the name restroom have been invented otherwise, no one ever gets any rest in there. It goes by the names lavatory, bathroom, john, can, head, crapper, sh.......er, restroom, library, and many others. To my surprise any of these can be found offensive to some. My simply saying I need to stop by the bathroom can be viewed as offensive to some who feel that I am sharing too much information, and since their level of offense determines whether or not I just cussed, I may well have just been vulgar without knowing it.
Other odd things that fall into this discussion. The normal jovial holiday greeting of a certain bearded fat man may be found offensive to those who have great sympathy for women who practice the oldest profession. Yes, I said it, you can be offensive by saying ho ho ho.
I could ramble for days and days about this. This idea just fascinates me at the moment. My advice to you is simple, it is better to just smile and nod than risk speaking sometimes.
The first thing I notice when bringing up the subject is that we, we being English speaking Americans, can not even agree on what to call cuss words. Some variants of the topic include, curse words, dirty words, foul words, offensive words, profanity or profane words, swear words...... and this is just the beginning of the list. As a point of interest ( or disinterest, I found it interesting ) Mark Twain was the first to coin the term 'cuss' word in 1872.
So, I ask you, what is a cuss word.
Standard definition:
1. a profane or obscene word, esp. as used in anger or for emphasis.
2. any term conceived of as offensive.
The first thing that you might notice is that it is ANY word that is CONCEIVED as OFFENSIVE. That means that the definition of a cuss word is dependant upon the opinion of the listener. I find that interesting. It is interesting because that means that I may say something that I don't feel is at all improper , but yet, the person I am speaking to will feel they are being cussed at. Wow, that is a communication revelation on my part.
Why is this important?
Well, first off, we have scripture in the Bible that tells us that it is not what we put into our mouths that defiles us, but what comes out of it. This , among others, reminds us that we should refrain from being foul to each other at the very least. We are also instructed to use our words to build each other up and encourage one another. Cussing at someone, even if you do not realize you're doing it, is something to be avoided.
Secondly, for my secular friends, cussing can also be an issue in 'polite company' as it is called. Not all walks of society view profanity as an acceptable form of communication, especially in the workplace.
These are only two simple reasons why we might not want to make the sailor blush, but they are by no means meant to be an all encompassing list.
What strikes me is our ability to cuss without even knowing that we are doing it and the listener ( if we are so blessed as to actually have a listener ) is being offended and making judgements about us without our knowledge. I mean, how hard can it be to not cuss ? If I start tossing F-bombs around, I think I know I am cussing right? Well, its just not that simple........
Time for a list of examples:
Some words are cuss words totally dependant upon their use. For example, one word can be used to describe a four legged mammal also known as a donkey or burro. This same word is used to describe a body part on which you sit, or a neighbor with questionable behavior. Now, by my personal standards, only the last example would be cussing, but I am in the minority on that. Most folks view using that word to describe a body part as cussing as well. The next thing that adds to the confusion is the words we therefore use as substitutes for the potential cuss word. If I chose to use butt, instead of the potential offender, I still have cussed in the eyes of some. This becomes more apparent when you add in an age factor. Most adults will use and hear the word butt and not be offended, yet it their child , lets just say a 7 year old, says butt, now they have an issue. The child should say bottom, can, derriere, tookus, or some such instead of the word butt..... Now it starts to become clear as to why it is sometimes confusing........
Now the magical B word. When the announcer at the Kennel Club dog show refers to a fine female dog by that term, it is an accepted form of communication, however, when the same word is used to describe the high maintenance and temperamental wife of your neighbor, it is now an offensive word. We must exercises caution when using any questionable vocabulary.
Now lets talk anatomy. This gets very convoluted very quickly. If a gentlemen has the name of Richard, he is typically not called by that full name. Some examples fail this test, perhaps the most famous is Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon is almost always called Richard, although he did earn the nickname in popular culture of his day of Tricky Dick. If someone has the name of Richard it is perfectly normal to call him by this shortened version. However, using the exact same word to refer to the male privates is offensive to a lot of folks and therefore is a cuss word. In fact, there are almost no acceptable terms to use at all that name the male privates. Even when we use correct medical terms, if we are not speaking to our spouse or an MD, we are most likely offending and therefore cussing. Men make this even more convoluted than it needs to be because we have adapted so many different names to refer to this region. If we speak of the twins, we may simply be talking about our cousins who were born at the same time 3 years ago, but we may be cussing. When we speak of chubby, we had better be talking about the extra pounds we added over the holidays or we are guilty of cussing again.
Now on to body functions. I did not know that the most commonly used word to describe the release of built up intestinal gas ( yes the F - word ) was a cuss word. I had no idea that some people find the word offensive. Finding the odor offensive, or even the sound offensive perhaps, but the word ? Yes, if you are like me and unaware, every time you say the F-word, you are risking cussing in front of someone. The standard rule of thumb I am finding is that if a word has a large host of options and derivatives, that may be because the word being replaced is frequently found to be impolite. Just as in reference to the large host of names available for the male privates, there is a long list of replacement words for the F-word. Passing gas is at least a little better I am told, as is breaking wind. I am told that butt whistling is not an appropriate substitute.
Another natural body function that comes into question is the act of relieving oneself. This one works the opposite from others I have listed in that it is more appropriate for young children to use the word than it is us adults. Yep, you guessed it, the word is pee. Adults expect adults to use the word urinate, but if your youngin' says they have to pee, its generally not viewed as kids cussing. In contrast, if I as a 42 year old man mention I have to pee, it is considered rather chide and classless, why, because it brings offense and thus I have cussed. Anytime the other P word is used, you know the one that sounds like a snake hiss, you have committed a faux paux. The natural progression of this is from number 1 to number 2 of course. It is pretty well accepted that any use of the SH word is cussing. Whether it be a noun, verb, or adjective, this is always a cuss word. Its derivatives are not quit as clear though as age comes into play again. If your child says they need to crap, they are most likely going to make their mother choke on her linguine. If you say you have to crap, you may or may not be cussing, that is up to the listener to decide. If an adult says they need to poop, odds are they have just cussed were as if their child makes the same statement they are likely to get away without causing offense. If you try to use more creative language like , ' leaving a mud snake in the lavatory' you're likely going to fail and be guilty of cussing regardless of age.
I was unaware as well that the location of both numbers 1 and number 2 could also be cuss words. If you think about it though, this does follow my above mentioned rule about having multiple names for no other apparent reason. Why would the name restroom have been invented otherwise, no one ever gets any rest in there. It goes by the names lavatory, bathroom, john, can, head, crapper, sh.......er, restroom, library, and many others. To my surprise any of these can be found offensive to some. My simply saying I need to stop by the bathroom can be viewed as offensive to some who feel that I am sharing too much information, and since their level of offense determines whether or not I just cussed, I may well have just been vulgar without knowing it.
Other odd things that fall into this discussion. The normal jovial holiday greeting of a certain bearded fat man may be found offensive to those who have great sympathy for women who practice the oldest profession. Yes, I said it, you can be offensive by saying ho ho ho.
I could ramble for days and days about this. This idea just fascinates me at the moment. My advice to you is simple, it is better to just smile and nod than risk speaking sometimes.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Direct TV........
After 10 years with Direct TV, last night we have moved on....... Goodbye DTV, you will be missed.
Approximately 10 years ago we had Time Warner Cable as our supplier for our television viewing pleasure, but we left them because it seemed every few months they would raise the rates or change the programing selections, and thus remove something that we enjoyed watching. As the price climbed and climbed and the service fit our desires less and less we made the tough choice to leave Time Warner and try out the relatively new concept of Direct TV. We were happy with them, their prices and their service until last night. Last night, the unthinkable happened....... We hit a television viewing crisis and DTV was unable to respond to assist us. We had finally found the fatal flaw, the Achilles heal of DTV. What is it you ask ?
DTV has no brick and mortar stores that you can work with to resolve you equipment problems. If a part goes bad, they Fed Ex you a new one, in 2 to 5 working days. You can't upgrade the shipping, due to 'contractual obligations'
So, here is the story.
Last night as I walk past the television it is happily showing my lovely wife's favorite channel ( DIY ) and then the screen goes black and prints a little message at the bottom saying the receiver needs reset. This is not a huge surprise because we get this little glitch about once a week. You press the little red reset button and the sun, moon, stars and satellites all check their locations in the universe, calculations are performed and the universe comes back into balance. This takes about 4 minutes, then you have you program back on and life sludges along as normal once again.
Upon re-entry into the room I discover that the precious receiver is no longer receiving power. The little blue light of joy is not shining any longer. I immediately drop to the floor and begin to attempt to necessitate it. I work tirelessly to bring life giving electricity back to the precious receiver. Upon exhausting all possibilities of immediate assistance I call the DTV version of 911 ( Tech Support ) and I speak with a fine young fellow named Tyler.
Tyler : thank you for calling Direct TV, how may I be of service to you ?
Me : Tyler, my receiver is dead, DEAD I say, it will not receive power, the blue light ( the blue light of joy ) is not on.
Tyler : have you tried plugging it into a different receptacle?
Me : yes, yes I have ( duh )
Tyler : let me check diagnostics on my end, ( canned computer like noises now whirr and grind away as I am on hold ) sir, you are correct, your receiver is indeed dead. Lets look at getting you a new one.
Me : yes, yes lets look at that... how do we do that ?
Tyler : I am showing two receivers, one is leased one is yours, this is the leased one, I can wave the new part cost and Fed Ex you out a new one that will arrive in 2 to 5 business days. There will ONLY be a shipping fee of $19.95 to cover the shipping cost...
Me : uh, Tyler... that's not going to be a workable solution. I know you're tech support and you're doing your job, but what I just heard was that your equipment failed and you're going to charge me to replace it, and I have to wait 2-5 business days at that. I am willing to pay for shipping only if its an upgrade to next day AM, otherwise no, and why would you charge to replace faulty equipment that is yours anyway.... I know you probably can't do anything so can you bump me to someone who can?
Tyler : well sir, it is just the shipping you need to pay, not for the part........
Me : I heard you, pay was the word I don't want to hear...
Tyler : I understand, I will transfer you to billing now..... have a great day and thanks for being such a long time customer........
Me : thank you Tyler, and I hope I get to stay that way.....
Hello, this is Becky, how may I help you ?
I repeat the situation to Becky, express my gratitude about Tyler doing his best and that his best was simply unacceptable. I then ask if she can do better. Long and short of it is that Becky discovers that I am listed as having two receivers, I only have one television and one receiver and she fixes this problem but can't help with anything else.
Me : so you cant wave the shipping charge and you can't upgrade the shipping at no charge or otherwise?
Becky : No sir, we have a contract with Fed Ex, everything ships the same and we can't change it. There is no place for you to go pick up a receiver unless you want to go to Best Buy and buy one instead of leasing.
Me : my wife is behind me dialing Time Warner Cable at this moment and if you can't do any better than that .....
Becky : Sir ( interrupts me with a new found sense of urgency in her voice ) let me transfer you to the retention department.... they have more access to things they may be able to do to help you..
Me : transfer away.....
Hello , my name is Danielle...... I see you have some faulty equipment issues , how can I help
(" Hello, my name is Inego Montoya, you killed my father, now prepare to die" " stop saying that " )
I run through the issues one more time. Daniell adjusted my bill, gave me a discount, removed the shipping charge but still could not upgrade the shipping or get me the equipment any faster.
Angie, my lovely wife, then gets hold of Time Warner, announces that she is an upset DTV customer, and asks what can they do for her.......
Time Warner then proceeds to offer us more channels for less money and upgrades our Internet service for free for a year as an incentive......
Angie then calls DTV and cancels the service as well as the new receiver... Someone comes on the line to attempt to talk her out of it. This gentleman offers her a $200 credit to our account as well as keeping the current arrangement of no charge shipping and a reduced bill, but he still cant get the receiver to us any quicker either.
FAIL......
Why is time such an issue....... well........ its bowl week for one thing and UK is playing Louisville on Saturday. With New Years being a day or two away and January one being on a Saturday we could expect that receiver sometime between the 3rd and the 6th of January.....
While I was writing this Direct TV just called to ask why they just received an order to cancel and offered to not cancel. I explained to them, again, the reason why. This time they offered to send an installer to the house today to put in a new receiver........
I told her that might have been of interest last night but we were told repetitively that the only way was to wait for the Fed Ex truck to arrive........ At this point, Time Warner is coming between 4 and 6 today to install and upgrade our Internet at the same time.....
possible pit falls........... still to come.........
Time Warner has a habit of wanting to charge for odd things........ if they try to charge for installing and becoming a new customer we will have to have a chat about that.....
Direct TV says they will send a final bill in seven days, that bill should only be about $20, if it is much greater then they are trying to charge a fee to disconnect my service or some such, then we will have to have a chat about that as well......
oh what fun.....
Approximately 10 years ago we had Time Warner Cable as our supplier for our television viewing pleasure, but we left them because it seemed every few months they would raise the rates or change the programing selections, and thus remove something that we enjoyed watching. As the price climbed and climbed and the service fit our desires less and less we made the tough choice to leave Time Warner and try out the relatively new concept of Direct TV. We were happy with them, their prices and their service until last night. Last night, the unthinkable happened....... We hit a television viewing crisis and DTV was unable to respond to assist us. We had finally found the fatal flaw, the Achilles heal of DTV. What is it you ask ?
DTV has no brick and mortar stores that you can work with to resolve you equipment problems. If a part goes bad, they Fed Ex you a new one, in 2 to 5 working days. You can't upgrade the shipping, due to 'contractual obligations'
So, here is the story.
Last night as I walk past the television it is happily showing my lovely wife's favorite channel ( DIY ) and then the screen goes black and prints a little message at the bottom saying the receiver needs reset. This is not a huge surprise because we get this little glitch about once a week. You press the little red reset button and the sun, moon, stars and satellites all check their locations in the universe, calculations are performed and the universe comes back into balance. This takes about 4 minutes, then you have you program back on and life sludges along as normal once again.
Upon re-entry into the room I discover that the precious receiver is no longer receiving power. The little blue light of joy is not shining any longer. I immediately drop to the floor and begin to attempt to necessitate it. I work tirelessly to bring life giving electricity back to the precious receiver. Upon exhausting all possibilities of immediate assistance I call the DTV version of 911 ( Tech Support ) and I speak with a fine young fellow named Tyler.
Tyler : thank you for calling Direct TV, how may I be of service to you ?
Me : Tyler, my receiver is dead, DEAD I say, it will not receive power, the blue light ( the blue light of joy ) is not on.
Tyler : have you tried plugging it into a different receptacle?
Me : yes, yes I have ( duh )
Tyler : let me check diagnostics on my end, ( canned computer like noises now whirr and grind away as I am on hold ) sir, you are correct, your receiver is indeed dead. Lets look at getting you a new one.
Me : yes, yes lets look at that... how do we do that ?
Tyler : I am showing two receivers, one is leased one is yours, this is the leased one, I can wave the new part cost and Fed Ex you out a new one that will arrive in 2 to 5 business days. There will ONLY be a shipping fee of $19.95 to cover the shipping cost...
Me : uh, Tyler... that's not going to be a workable solution. I know you're tech support and you're doing your job, but what I just heard was that your equipment failed and you're going to charge me to replace it, and I have to wait 2-5 business days at that. I am willing to pay for shipping only if its an upgrade to next day AM, otherwise no, and why would you charge to replace faulty equipment that is yours anyway.... I know you probably can't do anything so can you bump me to someone who can?
Tyler : well sir, it is just the shipping you need to pay, not for the part........
Me : I heard you, pay was the word I don't want to hear...
Tyler : I understand, I will transfer you to billing now..... have a great day and thanks for being such a long time customer........
Me : thank you Tyler, and I hope I get to stay that way.....
Hello, this is Becky, how may I help you ?
I repeat the situation to Becky, express my gratitude about Tyler doing his best and that his best was simply unacceptable. I then ask if she can do better. Long and short of it is that Becky discovers that I am listed as having two receivers, I only have one television and one receiver and she fixes this problem but can't help with anything else.
Me : so you cant wave the shipping charge and you can't upgrade the shipping at no charge or otherwise?
Becky : No sir, we have a contract with Fed Ex, everything ships the same and we can't change it. There is no place for you to go pick up a receiver unless you want to go to Best Buy and buy one instead of leasing.
Me : my wife is behind me dialing Time Warner Cable at this moment and if you can't do any better than that .....
Becky : Sir ( interrupts me with a new found sense of urgency in her voice ) let me transfer you to the retention department.... they have more access to things they may be able to do to help you..
Me : transfer away.....
Hello , my name is Danielle...... I see you have some faulty equipment issues , how can I help
(" Hello, my name is Inego Montoya, you killed my father, now prepare to die" " stop saying that " )
I run through the issues one more time. Daniell adjusted my bill, gave me a discount, removed the shipping charge but still could not upgrade the shipping or get me the equipment any faster.
Angie, my lovely wife, then gets hold of Time Warner, announces that she is an upset DTV customer, and asks what can they do for her.......
Time Warner then proceeds to offer us more channels for less money and upgrades our Internet service for free for a year as an incentive......
Angie then calls DTV and cancels the service as well as the new receiver... Someone comes on the line to attempt to talk her out of it. This gentleman offers her a $200 credit to our account as well as keeping the current arrangement of no charge shipping and a reduced bill, but he still cant get the receiver to us any quicker either.
FAIL......
Why is time such an issue....... well........ its bowl week for one thing and UK is playing Louisville on Saturday. With New Years being a day or two away and January one being on a Saturday we could expect that receiver sometime between the 3rd and the 6th of January.....
While I was writing this Direct TV just called to ask why they just received an order to cancel and offered to not cancel. I explained to them, again, the reason why. This time they offered to send an installer to the house today to put in a new receiver........
I told her that might have been of interest last night but we were told repetitively that the only way was to wait for the Fed Ex truck to arrive........ At this point, Time Warner is coming between 4 and 6 today to install and upgrade our Internet at the same time.....
possible pit falls........... still to come.........
Time Warner has a habit of wanting to charge for odd things........ if they try to charge for installing and becoming a new customer we will have to have a chat about that.....
Direct TV says they will send a final bill in seven days, that bill should only be about $20, if it is much greater then they are trying to charge a fee to disconnect my service or some such, then we will have to have a chat about that as well......
oh what fun.....
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Of what use are the trees?
Girls and boys are different. Duh, I know. Women and men are different too. Whoa, not exactly a revelation either.
I have made an observation however that might not be quite as obvious.
There is not nearly as much of a difference between a girl and a woman as there is between a boy and a man. This is just my opinion as observed from my perspective.
Girls seem to become women rather abruptly, it just kind of happens one day. It is a common understanding that girls mature faster than boys, but I submit to you that the reason is because they never really have to change as much as boys do.
Before you go getting all Grumpy Guss with me, this is complimentary towards the finer gender.
Girls ( metaphor warning ) are like flowers. When they are young, they are beautiful little buds. As they mature they become blossoms, and then as they age they open up into mature beautiful flowers. Some flowers are strong and hardy and stand up well to wind, rain, drought, and frost, while others wilt easily. Some flowers thrive in harsh conditions while others only grow with constant nurturing and fertile soil. All are beautiful flowers none the less.
The boy to man transition is not nearly so attractive. Boys are ( another metaphor warning ) like nuts laying on the ground. They look almost nothing like what they might grow up to be, a tree. Boys first must learn to not get eaten by squirrels or they will never take root. Most do take root, but then we spend years and years growing o' so slowly as a sapling. During the sapling stage our outer protective skin is thin and scars easily, but this is wear the bark comes in. If we scar too much as a sapling we grow think and nearly impenetrable bark in our maturity. As young trees we are still green and relatively flexible, but as we age we become stiffer and harder and we don't conform as well as we used to. The transition from nut to tree is extremely different than from bud to flower. It is a whole lot slower for one thing, and it is a bigger transition from start to finish for another. ( again, this is my male opinion )
Another difference is that flowers have purpose, but trees have uses.
What kind of flower a girl becomes does not seem to affect the fact that she is a flower. ( not in my eyes anyway, but some might argue ) In contrast, however, what kind of tree a man becomes affects how the world views him.
Of what use are the trees, do we bear fruit? Are we cut for lumber ? Do we just drop our nuts randomly around the forest ? Do we stand strong against storms but still have enough sap in us to bend a little with the wind? Is our bark so thick and ugly that we go unnoticed? Is our canopy full of dead branches that fall and litter the ground? Are we to be burnt up to keep others warm ?
Of what use are the trees ?
I have made an observation however that might not be quite as obvious.
There is not nearly as much of a difference between a girl and a woman as there is between a boy and a man. This is just my opinion as observed from my perspective.
Girls seem to become women rather abruptly, it just kind of happens one day. It is a common understanding that girls mature faster than boys, but I submit to you that the reason is because they never really have to change as much as boys do.
Before you go getting all Grumpy Guss with me, this is complimentary towards the finer gender.
Girls ( metaphor warning ) are like flowers. When they are young, they are beautiful little buds. As they mature they become blossoms, and then as they age they open up into mature beautiful flowers. Some flowers are strong and hardy and stand up well to wind, rain, drought, and frost, while others wilt easily. Some flowers thrive in harsh conditions while others only grow with constant nurturing and fertile soil. All are beautiful flowers none the less.
The boy to man transition is not nearly so attractive. Boys are ( another metaphor warning ) like nuts laying on the ground. They look almost nothing like what they might grow up to be, a tree. Boys first must learn to not get eaten by squirrels or they will never take root. Most do take root, but then we spend years and years growing o' so slowly as a sapling. During the sapling stage our outer protective skin is thin and scars easily, but this is wear the bark comes in. If we scar too much as a sapling we grow think and nearly impenetrable bark in our maturity. As young trees we are still green and relatively flexible, but as we age we become stiffer and harder and we don't conform as well as we used to. The transition from nut to tree is extremely different than from bud to flower. It is a whole lot slower for one thing, and it is a bigger transition from start to finish for another. ( again, this is my male opinion )
Another difference is that flowers have purpose, but trees have uses.
What kind of flower a girl becomes does not seem to affect the fact that she is a flower. ( not in my eyes anyway, but some might argue ) In contrast, however, what kind of tree a man becomes affects how the world views him.
Of what use are the trees, do we bear fruit? Are we cut for lumber ? Do we just drop our nuts randomly around the forest ? Do we stand strong against storms but still have enough sap in us to bend a little with the wind? Is our bark so thick and ugly that we go unnoticed? Is our canopy full of dead branches that fall and litter the ground? Are we to be burnt up to keep others warm ?
Of what use are the trees ?
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