Utopia.

Time to build Utopia.

I want to build the perfect world. A world were everything is fair, nobody has any issues, nobody has any cares, and nobody has any problems. A place were life is beautiful all the time. A place of calm rest and when someone talks someone else listens and doesn't interrupt them. A place of intellectual growth without the stress of competition. Some would call this magical and imaginary place Utopia, but I shall call in Myland since it is mine after all.

First, in order to build Myland, I shall appoint myself King and head of construction, rules, and governance.

Rule number one. The first thing that seems to keep people from being happy and beautiful is a perceived lack. Usually a perceived lack of money. To avoid this, I shall outlaw being poor. From this point forward in Myland, no one is permitted to be poor, as said by decree of the King of Myland. There, problem solved, we don't have the poor around anymore so we don't have to feel guilty. Feeling guilty makes us not feel beautiful so we can't have that. The poor often feel jealous, and feeling jealous makes them not feel beautiful, again , problem solved. The poor also often feel sad, depressed, overlooked, and forgotten. I have cured all these ailments and made them happy and beautiful again by outlawing poverty. Never again shall the poor want , for want is banished as is being poor.

Rule number two: Something else that seems to cause many people sadness is the disparity between weekdays and weekends. Weekends are so short and they end with something called Monday. By decree of the King, there will be no more Mondays. Logically this is a problem because then the sadness, grumpiness and ire for Monday will just be juxtaposed upon Tuesday and thus accomplish nothing but transiency. Therefore I , the King and benevolent ruler of Myland will banish all the days of the week. We will have no more weekdays, no more days, time will become fluid and not broken into time frames that my people , the Mylanders, do not enjoy fully. Since there is no separation between weekday and weekend, workdays will exist only at our convenience and can separated by as much or as little time as the worker sees fit.

Rule number three : This is the Mr. Obvious Rule. Since I am the sole King, I am also the sole governor and thus the only government. People don't like politicians, they are not beautiful people who make the rest of us enjoy our beautiful lives. They are unnecessary in Myland and thus by default, there are no more politicians. Without politicians, we have no election and therefore no annoying political adds. This condition alone increases the happiness quotient in Myland. There is no bickering about left or right, only joyful Utopian moderation.

Rule number four : One other great source of ugliness is fairness. It would appear that life does not treat all people the same and that is not fair. Everyone wants everything to be fair, and well, it would only be fair if life worked that way, right? So, I decree the Myland Fairness policy of this and all generations here to forth. By rule of me, I declare and ordain that all things are fair and unfairness is abolished, banned, and ruled out of order and illegal. My kingdom shall have no unfairness. To enforce this rule, anytime unfairness is spotted, it must be rendered and put asunder and replaced with fairness immediately. Fair is to be defined by all parties involved in the activity or action or circumstance that was called to question as unfair. Transferring from proclaimed unfairness to fairness must happen immediately if not sooner, post haste.

Rule number 5: In order to really be joyous, beautiful, and full of much joyness, all things must be accessible to all people. This will eliminate coveting, jealousy, greed, ambition, and lust. In order to do this, we must share all things equally. Everything except my sole power to rule over Myland of course, somebody has to be in charge, right. This will create some obvious logistical problems, but they can be solved by rule number 4. I realize that my socks might not fit your feet, but you're welcome to share them with me anyway, that would only be fair. This of course means we will have new definitions of relationships too. It is hard to be monogamous and share at the same time, but we all must share so therefore there will really be no more marriages. Since we will be sharing kids as well, the family unit will need to be redefined a bit too. Now, keep in mind rule number 4, it would not be fair for all of us to share our kids with the same person at the same time. That would not be fair to them to have so many kids all of the sudden.

Rule number 6 : As king I decree there shall be no gallivanting around. Why, because I said so, I just don't like gallivanting around. Its unbecoming. All that hem hawing , messin' and gaumin'. I don't want none of that.

Rule number 7: After putting more thought into this, it seems what causes the most ugliness in the world is the perceived differences between its people. I have set out to remove the ugly and only leave the beautiful. I have made it illegal to be poor, or rich. I have made it impossible to be jealous or greedy. I have made it so everything is fair. I don't think this solves all the problems in heading towards perfection. In order to be happy, I am afraid that people cannot be allowed to see any difference between themselves and other people. One simple way to abolish racism forever is to make everyone blind. So, I as King so do now ordain that everyone must close their eyes and keep them closed for at least two generations. After two generations have passed, perhaps we will be able to see one another without preconceived notions of worth.

Rule number 8 : Lastly, I declare that there will be the addition of a national holiday. The Myland let it B day. On this day we will celebrate all things that begin with the letter B. Boogers, will be hung on windows in glorious celebration. Body odor is an expected tradition on this special day. Beards will go unshaven for weeks prior. Beer will be drank with friends, in moderation of course. Beanies will be worn on our heads as traditional dress. The kids will celebrate an imaginary character named Bailiwig who sneaks in the Basement to deliver Baked goods left in Ball caps that are left on the Banister. Good kids get Bagels and Bavarian cream filled Bon Bons, bad kid get Baked Beans and Biscuits. Remember kids, Bailiwig is watching so you had better Behave............

Onomatopoeia

This post has nothing to do with words that sound like what they are (crash). I just like saying the word onomatopoeia.

It has been some time since I updated you all on what is going on with Gracie.

Gracie is now in second grade. It is entertaining to watch her mature and become more outspoken and questioning of life in general. As she grows her life and relationships become more complicated and she struggles to understand the rules of life ( or lack there of ). She attends Hamilton Maineville Elementary this year and should have been there next year as well, but due to budget cuts and a levy failing 7 times in a row at this point, her school is being closed. In the near future the district may be dissolved entirely and pushed out into the surrounding areas.

She is enrolled in tumbling classes at TNT Nitro Tumble Dance and Cheer. She has learned to do a cartwheel, roundoff, and is so very close to a back handspring. She can do it with a spotter and the spotter hardly touches her, but she still lacks the confidence to do it if she doesnt feel that hand on her back as she goes over. It is a beautiful thing to watch. I can remember not all that long ago, watching her at 15 months try to learn to crawl. She was so far behind at that point. Now she can almost fly, it makes me want to cry. ( hey, I rhymed ) She has cheered for Little Miami's Youth league for 3 years and we now have her enrolled in TNT performance cheer. She loves to cheer, that much is clear. ( Hey, I rhymed again ) When she found out she got to cheer for TNT she wanted me to explain the difference between performance cheer and competition cheer because she wants to be a flyer in competition. She was happy just to find out that there will not be a game going on behind her, seems that is a distraction, people are watching the game and not the cheerleader, or more precisely, not watching her. Her self confidence still has its spells, she plays shy sometimes when it makes no sense, but by and large she is a ham. A wonderful, sweet, talkative, loving, and kind ham. Spoken as the proud parent that I am. ( stop rhyming, I mean it. Anybody want a peanut?)

Gracie has a new best friend. These two girls are so sweet and loving together, they hug, they giggle and they are priceless to watch. They used to be in class together but her friend switched schools because of the levy issues, now we just arrange for them to spend time together. The girls and the mommas are taking a trip to Chicago in April to go to the American Girl Doll Museum. It is interesting for me to watch them as they develop their relationship. They get frustrated with each other, they get grumpy with each other, but they never get mad at each other, they know it will all be okay and they will work through each issue.

Gracie is doing well in school. She reads well ahead of where she should, she does this because she loves to read and does it all the time just because she wants to. I now have a Borders club card and we go there or Barnes and Noble and pick out books to read. She has read all of the ," Diary of a Wimpy Kid " books ( a little too old for her ) and all the Junie B. Jones books, and now she is working on the Geronimo Stilton collection. I may need a library room for her. Geronimo Stilton is an odd little mouse dude that she is just loving at the moment. Gracie prints and spells very well, she prints neater than I do. Her vocabulary is scary. ( stop rhyming ) She loves big words and uses them surprisingly well. Her week point is math. We were working on counting money the other night. She can add change very well as long as she works at it. I made the mistake of asking her what a half a dollar was though. Half a dollar is 30. Not even 30 cents, just 30. This will come....

Gracie's momma, my lovely wife, really works hard on teaching manners and proper etiquette. This is good because if you know me, Gracie is going to get real world life, but not lady like demeanor from me. Gracie was upset with a little girl and her mother the other day at tumbling. The lady had moved Gracie's coat without asking Gracie and the little girl is 4 and wants to talk to Gracie but seems to want to do so while being 1/2" from her face. As we were leaving Gracie informed me that, " that little girl is rude and she gets it from her mother" Note that she didn't say her mom, her momma, or her mommy, which is what she says about my wife. She said, "mother". This is the equivalent of using a child's middle name I think.

One of the biggest issues in the Wilson house is the sin of interrupting someone. It is not polite to interrupt someone when they are talking. It is twice as bad to interrupt two adults talking when you are 7 years old. Momma is the teacher of manners and etiquette so she keeps on Gracie about this issue. Ironic issue, this is not mommas strong suit shall we say. Gracie is having issue learning this proper behavior. At this point, the standard mode of operation is Gracie will wait for that 1/2 second of dead air when the ongoing conversation might be over or at least at a pause and they say, " sorry to interrupt, but..........." It makes no difference that she is still interrupting, but she is interrupting politely, right !! Personally, I am happy with this, but we are still working on it. Gracie, particularly with me, has a strange ability to talk without pause or breath. She talks fast because she is afraid someone will tell her to stop and she still has words to use.

Speaking of sin, Gracie loves her new church. Well, its not all that new, we have been going for over a year now. She goes to Sunday school and children's church both and loves it. She has memorized all the books of both the testaments and several different scriptures.

We have had some issues. She has one little girl who is a player and is playing my naive little Gracie. This girl sits relatively close to her in class. She is nice to her, but she keeps manipulating her mind and trying to control her. This will stop, Gracie is working it herself right now, but we are aware and the teacher will be made aware just to keep it from getting out of control. The next issue was much larger and we are still dealing with the after effects months later.

If you have an adopted child, I would advise you play it safe and just skip the movie Tangled. There is nothing inherently bad about the movie, but it can have some bad effects that manifest themselves differently with each child that reacts to the movie. Bottom line is there is a character in the story who stole a baby and pretended to be the mother. This character did not love the child, only raised them and the kids are smart enough to pick up on this. The saccharin nature of the character and the eventual demise can be stressful for some younger kids and they cannot articulate well the reasons for the feelings they don't really grasp fully. With Gracie, this led to not wanted to sleep, not wanted to go to bed alone, and not wanted to be by herself upstairs to shower. We have largely overcome these problems, but they are not gone entirely. We worked with our pastor and did our best as parents to get past this irrational fear. With making some compromises, Gracie now goes to bed, sleeps though the night, and takes a shower without me sitting outside the bathroom door. The shower curtain , however, is rolled up out of the way only leaving the clear liner so she can see out into the hallway. Her dog echo sits in the hallway and just watches in fascination. Gracie sings , ( loudly and badly ) to entertain herself and keep the 'bad thoughts' away.

Well this has been a brief update , there are more things I could talk about, but I will stop for now. We are going to St. Louis to visit the "Hunan" sisters next weekend. I should have pictures and stories from our travels then.....

Anatomy of a cuss word......

First, this post is in no way intended to be vulgar, profane, or inappropriate for younger readers. I will endeavor to not use any real cuss words in the following post, however, that is the subject of the following monologue. What is a cuss word?

The first thing I notice when bringing up the subject is that we, we being English speaking Americans, can not even agree on what to call cuss words. Some variants of the topic include, curse words, dirty words, foul words, offensive words, profanity or profane words, swear words...... and this is just the beginning of the list. As a point of interest ( or disinterest, I found it interesting ) Mark Twain was the first to coin the term 'cuss' word in 1872.

So, I ask you, what is a cuss word.

Standard definition:
1. a profane or obscene word, esp. as used in anger or for emphasis.
2. any term conceived of as offensive.

The first thing that you might notice is that it is ANY word that is CONCEIVED as OFFENSIVE. That means that the definition of a cuss word is dependant upon the opinion of the listener. I find that interesting. It is interesting because that means that I may say something that I don't feel is at all improper , but yet, the person I am speaking to will feel they are being cussed at. Wow, that is a communication revelation on my part.

Why is this important?

Well, first off, we have scripture in the Bible that tells us that it is not what we put into our mouths that defiles us, but what comes out of it. This , among others, reminds us that we should refrain from being foul to each other at the very least. We are also instructed to use our words to build each other up and encourage one another. Cussing at someone, even if you do not realize you're doing it, is something to be avoided.

Secondly, for my secular friends, cussing can also be an issue in 'polite company' as it is called. Not all walks of society view profanity as an acceptable form of communication, especially in the workplace.

These are only two simple reasons why we might not want to make the sailor blush, but they are by no means meant to be an all encompassing list.

What strikes me is our ability to cuss without even knowing that we are doing it and the listener ( if we are so blessed as to actually have a listener ) is being offended and making judgements about us without our knowledge. I mean, how hard can it be to not cuss ? If I start tossing F-bombs around, I think I know I am cussing right? Well, its just not that simple........

Time for a list of examples:

Some words are cuss words totally dependant upon their use. For example, one word can be used to describe a four legged mammal also known as a donkey or burro. This same word is used to describe a body part on which you sit, or a neighbor with questionable behavior. Now, by my personal standards, only the last example would be cussing, but I am in the minority on that. Most folks view using that word to describe a body part as cussing as well. The next thing that adds to the confusion is the words we therefore use as substitutes for the potential cuss word. If I chose to use butt, instead of the potential offender, I still have cussed in the eyes of some. This becomes more apparent when you add in an age factor. Most adults will use and hear the word butt and not be offended, yet it their child , lets just say a 7 year old, says butt, now they have an issue. The child should say bottom, can, derriere, tookus, or some such instead of the word butt..... Now it starts to become clear as to why it is sometimes confusing........

Now the magical B word. When the announcer at the Kennel Club dog show refers to a fine female dog by that term, it is an accepted form of communication, however, when the same word is used to describe the high maintenance and temperamental wife of your neighbor, it is now an offensive word. We must exercises caution when using any questionable vocabulary.

Now lets talk anatomy. This gets very convoluted very quickly. If a gentlemen has the name of Richard, he is typically not called by that full name. Some examples fail this test, perhaps the most famous is Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon is almost always called Richard, although he did earn the nickname in popular culture of his day of Tricky Dick. If someone has the name of Richard it is perfectly normal to call him by this shortened version. However, using the exact same word to refer to the male privates is offensive to a lot of folks and therefore is a cuss word. In fact, there are almost no acceptable terms to use at all that name the male privates. Even when we use correct medical terms, if we are not speaking to our spouse or an MD, we are most likely offending and therefore cussing. Men make this even more convoluted than it needs to be because we have adapted so many different names to refer to this region. If we speak of the twins, we may simply be talking about our cousins who were born at the same time 3 years ago, but we may be cussing. When we speak of chubby, we had better be talking about the extra pounds we added over the holidays or we are guilty of cussing again.

Now on to body functions. I did not know that the most commonly used word to describe the release of built up intestinal gas ( yes the F - word ) was a cuss word. I had no idea that some people find the word offensive. Finding the odor offensive, or even the sound offensive perhaps, but the word ? Yes, if you are like me and unaware, every time you say the F-word, you are risking cussing in front of someone. The standard rule of thumb I am finding is that if a word has a large host of options and derivatives, that may be because the word being replaced is frequently found to be impolite. Just as in reference to the large host of names available for the male privates, there is a long list of replacement words for the F-word. Passing gas is at least a little better I am told, as is breaking wind. I am told that butt whistling is not an appropriate substitute.

Another natural body function that comes into question is the act of relieving oneself. This one works the opposite from others I have listed in that it is more appropriate for young children to use the word than it is us adults. Yep, you guessed it, the word is pee. Adults expect adults to use the word urinate, but if your youngin' says they have to pee, its generally not viewed as kids cussing. In contrast, if I as a 42 year old man mention I have to pee, it is considered rather chide and classless, why, because it brings offense and thus I have cussed. Anytime the other P word is used, you know the one that sounds like a snake hiss, you have committed a faux paux. The natural progression of this is from number 1 to number 2 of course. It is pretty well accepted that any use of the SH word is cussing. Whether it be a noun, verb, or adjective, this is always a cuss word. Its derivatives are not quit as clear though as age comes into play again. If your child says they need to crap, they are most likely going to make their mother choke on her linguine. If you say you have to crap, you may or may not be cussing, that is up to the listener to decide. If an adult says they need to poop, odds are they have just cussed were as if their child makes the same statement they are likely to get away without causing offense. If you try to use more creative language like , ' leaving a mud snake in the lavatory' you're likely going to fail and be guilty of cussing regardless of age.

I was unaware as well that the location of both numbers 1 and number 2 could also be cuss words. If you think about it though, this does follow my above mentioned rule about having multiple names for no other apparent reason. Why would the name restroom have been invented otherwise, no one ever gets any rest in there. It goes by the names lavatory, bathroom, john, can, head, crapper, sh.......er, restroom, library, and many others. To my surprise any of these can be found offensive to some. My simply saying I need to stop by the bathroom can be viewed as offensive to some who feel that I am sharing too much information, and since their level of offense determines whether or not I just cussed, I may well have just been vulgar without knowing it.

Other odd things that fall into this discussion. The normal jovial holiday greeting of a certain bearded fat man may be found offensive to those who have great sympathy for women who practice the oldest profession. Yes, I said it, you can be offensive by saying ho ho ho.

I could ramble for days and days about this. This idea just fascinates me at the moment. My advice to you is simple, it is better to just smile and nod than risk speaking sometimes.

Direct TV........

After 10 years with Direct TV, last night we have moved on....... Goodbye DTV, you will be missed.

Approximately 10 years ago we had Time Warner Cable as our supplier for our television viewing pleasure, but we left them because it seemed every few months they would raise the rates or change the programing selections, and thus remove something that we enjoyed watching. As the price climbed and climbed and the service fit our desires less and less we made the tough choice to leave Time Warner and try out the relatively new concept of Direct TV. We were happy with them, their prices and their service until last night. Last night, the unthinkable happened....... We hit a television viewing crisis and DTV was unable to respond to assist us. We had finally found the fatal flaw, the Achilles heal of DTV. What is it you ask ?

DTV has no brick and mortar stores that you can work with to resolve you equipment problems. If a part goes bad, they Fed Ex you a new one, in 2 to 5 working days. You can't upgrade the shipping, due to 'contractual obligations'

So, here is the story.

Last night as I walk past the television it is happily showing my lovely wife's favorite channel ( DIY ) and then the screen goes black and prints a little message at the bottom saying the receiver needs reset. This is not a huge surprise because we get this little glitch about once a week. You press the little red reset button and the sun, moon, stars and satellites all check their locations in the universe, calculations are performed and the universe comes back into balance. This takes about 4 minutes, then you have you program back on and life sludges along as normal once again.

Upon re-entry into the room I discover that the precious receiver is no longer receiving power. The little blue light of joy is not shining any longer. I immediately drop to the floor and begin to attempt to necessitate it. I work tirelessly to bring life giving electricity back to the precious receiver. Upon exhausting all possibilities of immediate assistance I call the DTV version of 911 ( Tech Support ) and I speak with a fine young fellow named Tyler.

Tyler : thank you for calling Direct TV, how may I be of service to you ?

Me : Tyler, my receiver is dead, DEAD I say, it will not receive power, the blue light ( the blue light of joy ) is not on.

Tyler : have you tried plugging it into a different receptacle?

Me : yes, yes I have ( duh )

Tyler : let me check diagnostics on my end, ( canned computer like noises now whirr and grind away as I am on hold ) sir, you are correct, your receiver is indeed dead. Lets look at getting you a new one.

Me : yes, yes lets look at that... how do we do that ?

Tyler : I am showing two receivers, one is leased one is yours, this is the leased one, I can wave the new part cost and Fed Ex you out a new one that will arrive in 2 to 5 business days. There will ONLY be a shipping fee of $19.95 to cover the shipping cost...

Me : uh, Tyler... that's not going to be a workable solution. I know you're tech support and you're doing your job, but what I just heard was that your equipment failed and you're going to charge me to replace it, and I have to wait 2-5 business days at that. I am willing to pay for shipping only if its an upgrade to next day AM, otherwise no, and why would you charge to replace faulty equipment that is yours anyway.... I know you probably can't do anything so can you bump me to someone who can?

Tyler : well sir, it is just the shipping you need to pay, not for the part........

Me : I heard you, pay was the word I don't want to hear...

Tyler : I understand, I will transfer you to billing now..... have a great day and thanks for being such a long time customer........

Me : thank you Tyler, and I hope I get to stay that way.....

Hello, this is Becky, how may I help you ?

I repeat the situation to Becky, express my gratitude about Tyler doing his best and that his best was simply unacceptable. I then ask if she can do better. Long and short of it is that Becky discovers that I am listed as having two receivers, I only have one television and one receiver and she fixes this problem but can't help with anything else.

Me : so you cant wave the shipping charge and you can't upgrade the shipping at no charge or otherwise?

Becky : No sir, we have a contract with Fed Ex, everything ships the same and we can't change it. There is no place for you to go pick up a receiver unless you want to go to Best Buy and buy one instead of leasing.

Me : my wife is behind me dialing Time Warner Cable at this moment and if you can't do any better than that .....

Becky : Sir ( interrupts me with a new found sense of urgency in her voice ) let me transfer you to the retention department.... they have more access to things they may be able to do to help you..

Me : transfer away.....

Hello , my name is Danielle...... I see you have some faulty equipment issues , how can I help

(" Hello, my name is Inego Montoya, you killed my father, now prepare to die" " stop saying that " )

I run through the issues one more time. Daniell adjusted my bill, gave me a discount, removed the shipping charge but still could not upgrade the shipping or get me the equipment any faster.

Angie, my lovely wife, then gets hold of Time Warner, announces that she is an upset DTV customer, and asks what can they do for her.......

Time Warner then proceeds to offer us more channels for less money and upgrades our Internet service for free for a year as an incentive......

Angie then calls DTV and cancels the service as well as the new receiver... Someone comes on the line to attempt to talk her out of it. This gentleman offers her a $200 credit to our account as well as keeping the current arrangement of no charge shipping and a reduced bill, but he still cant get the receiver to us any quicker either.

FAIL......

Why is time such an issue....... well........ its bowl week for one thing and UK is playing Louisville on Saturday. With New Years being a day or two away and January one being on a Saturday we could expect that receiver sometime between the 3rd and the 6th of January.....

While I was writing this Direct TV just called to ask why they just received an order to cancel and offered to not cancel. I explained to them, again, the reason why. This time they offered to send an installer to the house today to put in a new receiver........

I told her that might have been of interest last night but we were told repetitively that the only way was to wait for the Fed Ex truck to arrive........ At this point, Time Warner is coming between 4 and 6 today to install and upgrade our Internet at the same time.....

possible pit falls........... still to come.........

Time Warner has a habit of wanting to charge for odd things........ if they try to charge for installing and becoming a new customer we will have to have a chat about that.....

Direct TV says they will send a final bill in seven days, that bill should only be about $20, if it is much greater then they are trying to charge a fee to disconnect my service or some such, then we will have to have a chat about that as well......

oh what fun.....

Of what use are the trees?

Girls and boys are different. Duh, I know. Women and men are different too. Whoa, not exactly a revelation either.

I have made an observation however that might not be quite as obvious.

There is not nearly as much of a difference between a girl and a woman as there is between a boy and a man. This is just my opinion as observed from my perspective.

Girls seem to become women rather abruptly, it just kind of happens one day. It is a common understanding that girls mature faster than boys, but I submit to you that the reason is because they never really have to change as much as boys do.

Before you go getting all Grumpy Guss with me, this is complimentary towards the finer gender.

Girls ( metaphor warning ) are like flowers. When they are young, they are beautiful little buds. As they mature they become blossoms, and then as they age they open up into mature beautiful flowers. Some flowers are strong and hardy and stand up well to wind, rain, drought, and frost, while others wilt easily. Some flowers thrive in harsh conditions while others only grow with constant nurturing and fertile soil. All are beautiful flowers none the less.

The boy to man transition is not nearly so attractive. Boys are ( another metaphor warning ) like nuts laying on the ground. They look almost nothing like what they might grow up to be, a tree. Boys first must learn to not get eaten by squirrels or they will never take root. Most do take root, but then we spend years and years growing o' so slowly as a sapling. During the sapling stage our outer protective skin is thin and scars easily, but this is wear the bark comes in. If we scar too much as a sapling we grow think and nearly impenetrable bark in our maturity. As young trees we are still green and relatively flexible, but as we age we become stiffer and harder and we don't conform as well as we used to. The transition from nut to tree is extremely different than from bud to flower. It is a whole lot slower for one thing, and it is a bigger transition from start to finish for another. ( again, this is my male opinion )

Another difference is that flowers have purpose, but trees have uses.

What kind of flower a girl becomes does not seem to affect the fact that she is a flower. ( not in my eyes anyway, but some might argue ) In contrast, however, what kind of tree a man becomes affects how the world views him.

Of what use are the trees, do we bear fruit? Are we cut for lumber ? Do we just drop our nuts randomly around the forest ? Do we stand strong against storms but still have enough sap in us to bend a little with the wind? Is our bark so thick and ugly that we go unnoticed? Is our canopy full of dead branches that fall and litter the ground? Are we to be burnt up to keep others warm ?

Of what use are the trees ?

The popular culture is so all consuming at times. It surrounds us with what we come to believe and understand as normal. Certain things envelope us every now and then and as the envelope encompasses our very being we don't always seem to understand the strangulation that this envelopment is causing. We find it difficult to resist the encroachment, particularly when we don't see anything amiss. We see what seems to be our entire world engaging the normal as if it were normal yet we don't feel right about something, somehow. We see our brothers and sisters whom we respect and seek guidance from following suit with the culture, yet we seem drawn away for some reason.

I know it is not against my brother that I should be fighting, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness that my fight lay against. The ignorance that is possessed blinds me from the truth that I seek, but as I endeavor to alleviate the ignorance of myself I find that my hand has been firmly planted on a bowl and that bowl covers a lit candle. As more of my ignorance leaves me during my walk to seek the truth the bowl becomes hotter and hotter until I must lift it and discover the light that is wanting to emanate out but I was keeping it in. The flame burns hot, but once I remove the bowl the radiance of the candle is warm and comforting. I feel pain if I keep the bowl too close to the flame now, so I wish to set the bowl aside and be done with it. When I do, I see things more clearly I think because the light floods the room. As the light floods the room I also see the things that I should avoid coming into contact with. I see the bricks sticking up out of the uneven floor just laying there waiting for me to stumble over them. Even knowing they are there, I must watch my step or I will trip and fall.

Having discovered the source of the discomfort in my hand, I also discovered the comfort and warmth of the light. I am eager to share this with my brother who is still shivering in the cold. I grab up the flame and take it to him but its radiance seems to burn his eyes and he recoils away from me. I feel sad because I have caused my brother pain, but I also feel confused. Why did the flame not burn my eyes, but rather burnt my hand until I let go of the bowl. I didn't mean to injure my brother, but he is wanting nothing to do with the light that is giving me warmth. He doesn't like the cold, but he doesn't know what the warmth feels like because he has not come close enough to it to feel warm. I am not discouraged, I take my discovery to another of my brothers to show him and share with him instead. I again grab the flame up and go running to him and exclaim," come , come see what I have found, this light, it helps you to see, it helps you to stay warm. " Again, this brother too covers his eyes and curses at me, he tells me I am a fool and I know not what I do. He asks me why I play with such foolish things, it wastes time and hurts people, surely no good can come from this.

I am left to wonder why as I approach my brothers , they will not hear me out. I wonder if my brother is not right and all I am doing is hurting others. I cant help but to wonder why they feel so differently than me. I think about picking the bowl back up and covering the light, but even as I reach toward the bowl it is now glowing red hot and I simply cannot pick it back up now. I do notice one other thing, as I was taking the candle to my brother, as I lifted it up, the higher I lifted it, the brighter it burned and the warmer the room felt.

I look around at all my family, my brothers and sisters. Many of them are cold and are stumbling around in the dark. Some of them seem to be able to find their way without falling, and seem to happy with their lives. Still others have no difficulty in life at all, never stumbling, never struggling, not seeming hungry, thirsty or cold like me. I notice these family members last because they seem to have not a worry. I respect them and look to them for guidance. I decide to take one more try to share my discovery and take the candle to a sister whom I respect. She does not shun me or flee as I approach with the light. I offer to let her hold it and feel its warmth and see the beautiful radiance that it puts off. She looks at it carefully and tells me she has no need for such a light. She has all she needs and while she isn't burned by the light like my brothers, she isn't warmed by it either. She tells me that she is fine fitting into this world, she has a flashlight to light her way and lots of clothing to keep her warm. She tells me that she is just like everyone else and it is okay if I want to be different, but she doesn't want to be different and carry around a candle. I pick up the flame a little higher and notice that it is very dark around her, but the things that are in the dark places don't worry about her. They just keep behind her as not to get in the way of her flashlight.

I wonder to myself, to me my sister looked cold and yet she has no use for the warmth I might bring to her. My brothers seem to struggle but I injure them by trying to show them a path. I cannot hide the flame that I have found because it hurts me to try and hide it again. What do I do with this candle now? After spending some time enjoying the warmth of the flame and sitting staring at its beauty, I again feel a chill in the air. I know that the flame burns brighter and hotter when I lift it up, so I find a loft in the room and climb up to the top, taking the candle with me. Once I reach the loft I sit the candle down in front of me, and it is burning brighter and warmer than ever before. After some time I notice a brother and a sister climbing up the ladder to meet me in the loft. They have seen my candle from off in the distance and wanted to come see what was making that light. They commented that the light felt warm and comforting to them and they wanted me to tell them where I found it. I shared with them my whole story, and they listened. Then my brother seemed to be uncomfortable all of the sudden. He and I both looked down at his hand, in his hand he had a bowl. I told him, pick your hand up and see what is under there.

My brother lifted his hand and under it was a candle with a flame. I explained to him the newest thing I had learned. Lift the candle up and allow people to see it and come to you, if you chase after those who are not ready they might flee. Share your candle with all who wish to see it, but you will only injure those who you chase after. Let them see your life by keeping the light held up high and let the light chase away the darkness and bring your brothers to you. Don't try and point out their faults while the heat is still chasing the chill from your own bones.

It is hard to be in the world and function in the world without becoming like the world. Many of my brothers and sisters carry a light that shines into dark spaces, but most of us do not carry the light high enough to shed light across large places.

I still have much ignorance left to shed and my candle has made it to the loft but not yet to the roof and certainly not yet to the mountains peak.

A day at the hospital

Spending the day at the hospital is never going to be a fun experience, but today did have its moments.

Here is the background. Angie was in for another 'procedure' today. We arrived at 9:30 for a 10:00 o'clock appointment and she was scheduled for surgery at 12:00. The surgery was supposed to last about 1 -1/2 hours so she was to be in recovery before 2:00. As is normal with the normal chaos that is our lives, at 6:30 they begin the process of moving her to a room so she can spend the night. Instead of being home before dinner, we are hoping to be home before lunch tomorrow.

So, since I have so many hours to kill, what am I going to do? Well, I can't leave until she gets into her room so I have until almost 7 o' clock to kill before taking Gracie her overnight bag and then beating a path back to the room to watch Angie sleep for a while. I don't have many options for entertainment so I settle on updating facebook regularly and watching the other folks who are populating the waiting room. Ah people watching, my favorite sport....

After Angie goes back I slide down to the cafeteria for a quick change of scenery and 1/2 cup of the worst scrambled eggs I have ever come across in life. I mean seriously people, how do you make scrambled eggs so tasteless , what is the trick with that ? While questioning from what foul these eggs were commandeered from, a young lady comes walking into the atrium. Now, let me paint the picture for you, I am alone in a room with about 15 tables. This room is off to the side and away from the main dinning area. I am perched up against a wall with my laptop out and my faux eggs minding my own business when a young blond lady walks into the room. She reminds me of Red Fox , or to be more accurate, she reminds me of Fred Sanford. She comes in holding her shoulder and neck and staggering around a bit. She walks to one edge of the room and grabs her shoulder and moans, well yells a moaning type sound. She then walks back across in front of me to the other edge of the room and has another yelling moaning episode. She then walks over to the table one away from mine, right in front of me and from a standing position lays her forehead on the table and lets out more yelling, sobbing moans. Over dramatic does not even touch this one as a description. I am sitting there debating what to do, I am thinking I should ask her if she requires any help but am not sure what to say. I start running over options in my head to try out what they sound like.

1. " what is wrong with you " ( nope, no way to make that sound good )
2. " do you need some help of some kind ?" ( nope, that's even worse than the first one )
3. " Miss, is there something I can help you with ?" ( closer, but still crass sounding )
4. " Is your name Sally ? and if so, were is Harry and have you two met yet " ( uh, no )
5. " Ma'am, can I be of some help to you ?" ( still a bit awkward, but passable )

Just as I had worked out what to say she turns to me before I have had a chance to speak and she starts talking. I think she was tired of waiting for me to process everything, but I wanted to be cautious not to seem a flirt, or seem a curmudgeon so I wanted to process things first, I guess she didnt have the patients for that, anyway, she starts.

" Oh, I am sorry, I am sorry, I don't usually cry in front of people ( cry, cry !! your yelping like a wounded water buffalo during peak mating season ) I didn't know what they were gonna do to take that x-ray. It just hurts, it really really hurts. Can I ask you something, I have asked like 30 people already and they all said no and I know you will say no too but they just wouldn't listen, would you listen to me please, my son is trying to raise money for a school fundraiser and they have all this neat stuff in here, if you would just look through it I would appreciated it, do you mind if I go get a cup of coffee, I'll be right back., oh it hurts , it really really hurts, I don't mean to talk so much I just talk when I am in pain and OHHHHH, I 'm sorry sorry sorry, I'm gonna get a cup of coffee and , I , they told me no caffeine with the pain meds, but, I'll be right back, do you mind if I get a cup of coffee? "

Now, she is gone for a few minutes, while she is gone I would like to point out that the entire above spoken paragraph was said in about one breath, maybe two but that would only be due to the brief pause to add more theatrics. To shorten this up, my friend is 29, has two children, thinks her neck is broken, and is hocking stuff in the hospital dinning room. While she is gone I here an intercom message come across about a clean up in front of the coffee shop. Yep, you guessed it, she spilled the first cup of coffee, too much pain to carry hot coffee with shaking and spilling it. We talked a little , we talked about church and she was going to take Angie's name to her prayer group tonight, I bought a bookmark and donated it to one of her prayer group friends, and she moved on to another table in the other dining room. Well, its 10:15 AM right now, this is going to be an interesting day at this pace.

Back to the waiting room I go. Nothing left to do but people watch.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you just really can't tell who is who and how old people are. For example, two ladies and a toddler, oh, 3 years old max would be my guess. You look at the two women and think, okay, the younger, relatively attractive one, the one who looks like she showered this morning must be mom, and the older one who showers every spring whether she needs to or not over there looking haggard and grumpy, thats grandma. But when it comes time for the patient to go back and both mom and grandma start addressing the toddler in third person, you are reminded not to judge, and please dont guess, because this isnt one you want to get wrong out loud. " grandma will be right back, just stay here with momma ?" Yikes,,,,


You look around and put people with people sometimes because you have nothing else to do. The next group is what I call ," the herd ". If you have spent any time at all in hospital waiting facilities, you have seen some variant of , " the herd " . Today's herd would be what I would call the redneck herd, or perhaps the , " larry the cable guy " herd. The herd is what happens when just a few too many people decide its a good idea to hang out all day at the hospital. One is lonely, two is company, three is getting to be a crowd, 18 is a herd. This group had about 4 women who I would call, tired looking, if you know what I mean. Then there were about 8 men there and oh I am guessing about 6 or so kids running loose barefoot around the place. The men all look the same in a way. They are the kind of men who sit around and belittle each others deer stands and poke fun at each others Bass Boats. These are the kind of men that if you say " Dale Earnhardt " within their earshot, they all take off their hats and place them over their hearts. Yes, they all had hats, that is how I could tell them apart, Mr. Budweiser frog hat was proud of his Ranger Bass boat and Mr. John Deere hat was proud of his deer stand. Mr. Bass Pro Shoppe was proud of the fact that he could stand today after all he drank last night. Mr. Built Ford Tough hat was proud of his truck , and Mr. Chevy Nascar hat was just as proud as he could be of his new teeth. He didn't say, but after seeing his little missus, I think I know what happened to his old teeth. As the group got up to depart I heard Mrs. John Deere hat say, " grab you youngen and com'mon, we need to get up to you maw's room now. Ah, what good boys they are....

While driving back and forth between the hospital and taking care of Gracie's supplies I passed through Turtlecreek Township. I noticed that there was no creek, I didn't even see a town, and I didn't run across even one single turtle. I also passed a street called Circle Drive. It was a dead end street. Well, that is how I spent most of my day today....


It is now after 11 and I think I may try to sleep a little...

good night....