Sunday, September 27, 2009

You ain't gonna believe this

This is going to be one of those stories where you just shake your head and think, there is no way that really happens, but trust me, it happens, at least in my world.

Gracie turned six on Saturday and for her party we had 5 little girls over for a sleep over. One of the younger ones only made it to 11 of so,but that was by plan, she didn't want to stay all night. As a whole, the girls were actually really good. There was 6 or so hours of running and loud giggling that took place, but no major drama, not one scrappin fight, and only minor issues your just gonna have with that many little ones running loose.

I did my part by ordering the pizza, serving it and the kool aid and then cleaning up, making the popcorn and hot chocolate, serving it and then cleaning up, and the next morning, I made scrambled eggs and biscuits. I also started the movie when it was time. Angie did her part in crowd control, activity leadership, and did manicures and provided the adult supervision all evening. Angie had the unfortunate task of sleeping on the couch with the girls strewn in sleeping bags all over the living room floor.

As I already mention, all was going well. Sleep arrived shortly after the movie was over and only a few muffled giggles were heard past this point, the girls had had a busy evening and were tired and ready for some shut eye. I had taken Fritz, the dog, to the basement with me and I was going to sleep on the clic-clack down here so I could hear the footsteps above me and be available if needed. Then it starts.

About 1 AM Fritz pushes me just a little too far and I need to get up. Fritz has effectively hogged the bed and I am out of room, Rather than readjust him, I choose just to roll out and let him get good and asleep first. I figure in half an hour or so, I will just crawl back in, or use the other clic-clack and all will be well. I come over here and just try to kill a few minutes on the computer while I wait my next move. While here I notice I keep hearing feet upstairs. After feet I hear flushing. This happens a few times, but then I notice a difference. At first it was feet, flush, feet flush, feet flush. But not any longer, now its feet, flush, flush, flush, flush. The only reason I even notice is because the drainage pipe for the toilets runs down the inside of the wall right behind my computer. Why is someone flushing repetitively? ( I will soon have an answer)

I hear feet again. This time I hear feet that are plodding with a purpose. I then hear the door open at the top of the stairs, the door closes and the feet start coming down the steps, one deliberate step at a time. I need to point out that the only light is the light from the monitor, because, as I said, I was trying to sleep down here. Next I hear the word, "Daddy?"

Yes love....

Daddy, I had an accident and I tried to clean it up, but you need to see it..........

Okay baby, what happened.........

I had a big poop accident, it got on my night gown, I cleaned it up, but I did this.........

( okay, right now my daughter is standing in front of me with her brand new birthday present night gown on and tucked into her panties, but she puts her hand out to hand me something and instinctively when my daughter reaches towards me and tells me I need to do or see something I reach out and take what she has. What my little love has just handed me is the panties she was wearing a few minutes and six flushes ago. As I take the panties from her I immediately notice an issue, the panties are first warm, second, damp, third, stanky, and fourth (get this) they weigh like 5 pounds. My daughter laid some hug logs in her drawers and brought the whole load down from the upstairs bathroom all the way to the basement just to show it to me. I now am holding a 5 pound gift of crap filled Littlest Pet Shop panties in the palm of my hand. Nice. Well, whats a dad to do. As I struggle through the shock of this palm full of love, I look up into Gracie's face and her face is not happy. Its sleepy and on the verge of melt down, so I cant react harshly, I just plop the poop on my desk and move on.)

Gracie, lets see what we have here and lets get it fixed up okay?

Okay Daddy, I tried to fix it myself, but..........

Gracie, let me check out the night gown and panties.

She had skid marks up past her crack and poop on her sleeve, wiping hand of course, so the gown was done. She also had put her waist into the leg hole of the second set of panties, they were done also. So I pick up my prize and Gracie and I quietly walk upstairs, I take the lump o' love out to the garbage can on the way and we go up and get cleaned up, new gown, new panties again, and kill a wash rag as well. Now Gracie needs some more love and attention so at her request I end up retrieving Fritz from the basement and the three of us make it to my bedroom and sack out in a ball in our bed. Fritz and Gracie were none the worse for wear when morning came, but mommy and daddy have fried egg eyes and sore bodies today.

Gracie pulled through her whole day the next day like a good little soldier. She had a game to cheer at, and she went and did her best. After the game and things were calmer I asked how it happened and she said she pulled her panties up before she was done and then she felt them and they were squishy. I also asked why she brought them to the basement, she said since she had a problem and needed my help, she just wanted to show me what the problem was.

Cant argue with the logic,

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