A billboard advertisement

Or more to the point , ( the point of my opinion of course ) A billboard advertisement gone wrong.

I am going to attempt to carefully touch on a somewhat sensitive subject, so please bare with me and understand I mean no disrespect to any party. I will attempt to keep my opinion firmly focused on the monetary ( IE tax dollar ) side of this issue. I in no way have any issue one way or the other with the act or process that I am going to be compiling the following verbiage concerning.

So, I ask you, what is the point of advertising ? I believe the point is relatively simple in its goal. The goal of any advertisement is to convince you to buy a product or adopt a certain point of view. It is intended, sometimes, to educate you on the availability of a product, service, or the existence of a viewpoint in some cases. I think this is a pretty simple and liberal definition of the concept of advertising.

People advertise so you know their products name, and in most cases , why their product is superior and should be purchased by you. People advertise their services for the same reason. Some advertisements are to sway your opinion on a subject, like a campaign advertisement for example.

Now, using the above as a reference, we now have some idea why people advertise and who might be doing the advertising. Now, let me pose this question, who is paying for the advertisement?

In most cases, the cost of the advertisement, in this case a billboard, is born by the person doing the advertising. If Coke wants you to buy Coke and not Pepsi, then Coke pays for the billboard to attempt to convince you Coke is better, or maybe inform you of a new product that Coke has and Pepsi doesn't, etc. Its that simple. Now, if a arm of your state government puts up a billboard, what is it they are trying to do, and who is paying for that?

Well, the answer to this question is simple, the tax payer is paying for the billboard. What might they be attempting to accomplish? Why, the greater good of course. This has shown itself in the past with billboards reminding us to buckle up, don't drink and drive etc. I can see the point here, maybe we do need reminded that we should have our belts on, or face a ticket if nothing else. Maybe we do need reminded that drinking and driving is not real smart. Okay, I will buy that theory, even if its a bit of a stretch, I can see the greater good, or at least the greater good intentions there. If the billboards cost were to save so much as one life, or even minimize one persons injuries, its worth spending a few tax dollars on.

Now, to the reason for this random post. There is a billboard just down the street from were I work that bugs me every time I see it, and I have run out of patients with it today. The billboard is paid for by W.I.C. ( Women Infants and Children ) An honorable and worthy cause I am sure. I point out who paid for it only because it means it came not only from our tax dollars, but came out of their budget as well. Budget monies that I am sure could have been used for some other purpose. My question to you, and my problem, is this, is this billboard worth the money it cost to put up? Should that money have been used someplace else more productively? What are they trying to accomplish ?

Before trying to answer this question, let me tell you whats printed on the billboard.

No kidding:

BREASTFEEDING

WE DID IT, SO CAN YOU !

Okay , is it just me? Refer to above reasons to advertise, what are they hoping to do? And more to the point, why? If I was trying to decide whether or not to breast feed my child ( not that I have that option mind you ) would this at all suggest to me that it was a good idea? No, I think I would be offended by the phrase. I can find no legitimate reason to spend budgeted tax dollars in this manner.

Again, I am not making any statement about whether or not a women should or should not breast feed, that is entirely a decision that should be made as a family unit with some minor input from the husband, but ultimately the sole decision of the mother. I just think that when a Government funded agency wastes money people should ask why........

What are you looking forward to ?

Feeling a little melancholy and reminiscent today. Had dinner last night with a friend from high school. It was good to get to know each other all over again. It did, however, kick start my brain into thinking about things. So, I pose this question, what are you looking forward to in life..... I will list a few of mine in no particular order.....

1. Gracie's graduation from college,, or seminary. I cant wait to be sitting in the audience and hear, " Marilyn Grace Wilson....... Magna Cum Laude........ " and watch her walk across the stage. That is one thing I am looking forward to.
2. I am also looking forward to holding my wife's hand and wiping away her tears at Gracie's high school graduation.
3. I am looking forward to growing old in a small beach side condo on the edge of the Caribbean Sea with my wife living with me and my daughter collecting a lot of frequent flyer miles.
4. Living long enough to hear the words, " I love you Grandpa " That's one thing I am looking forward to.
5. Sitting with my wife at a big table and then getting called up to go dance with my daughter at the father daughter dance at Gracie's wedding. I hope I can still walk, but if I cant walk then I will just have to learn to fly because I will be dancing with my daughter on that day.
6. Standing with my wife OUTSIDE the delivery room as WE wait on the birth of our first grandchild. This is one day at the hospital that I am looking forward to. I know both Angie and I will tell Gracie, " I hope you get a child, JUST LIKE YOU "
7. Growing old with my true love, that is one thing I am looking forward to. We can share cholesterol medicine, we can share that seat thing in the shower, as long as we don't have to share dentures, I am looking forward to growing old together.
8. One day a nice boy will sit me down and tell me how much he loves my daughter. He will be a good boy with a job and a strong moral compass. We will talk about my daughter and what he needs to do to remain among the living. I will tell him about Jimmy Hoffa and how they still haven't found his body. This is something I am looking forward to.
9. One day I will be sitting in the sun and thinking back on my life, and I will be happy. The sun will feel warm on my face and the beauty all around me will permeate deeply into my spirit. I will fall asleep right here and be awoken a short time later by the words, " well done My good and faithful servant" This is something that I am looking forward to.

Just thoughts......

I didn't really have anything earth shattering to say or any one topic to bludgeon but I have not blogged in a while so I just felt the need to spout off about nothing in particular..

• Health care reform has passed. The means of passing it were more than a little ugly, and people seem to be genuinely surprised that the people have reacted bitterly and in more than a few cases violently. Please don't insult us by faining surprise. Politicians will pay with their offices come the next opportunity, and that will be true regardless of how they voted on health care. The system suffered a high profile systemic failure. Everybody (almost) wanted some kind of health care reform because most people realize the system sucked and was broken. This is not a fix, however, its a control issue. What passed ( and really, who knows what passed, nobody really even knows yet ) doesn't even claim to have a mechanism to reduce the cost of insurance or the cost of health care or the cost of prescriptions. It does have a system to 'force' everyone to have insurance. Don't misjudge that statement either, the government is going to give you insurance, subsidise part of your insurance or just verify that you have insurance if you can afford it. Guess who decides if you can afford it, the government. If you cant afford it, guess who decides how much of a subsidy you get, the government. Guess who decides who gets a free ride, again, the government, in their infinite wisdom of course. Some people would argue that employers are going the be the ones paying, so why do I care. Even if your employer did pay before, they are going to have to pass the cost on somehow to someone, and if they didn't but are pickled into doing it now, its going to cost you. Yes, there are some nice things allegedly in the bill, pre-existing conditions being eliminated is one of them. That is nice, and yes it is a good thing, but it is also an unfunded mandate so what makes anybody think its going to make the cost go down? The prevailing theory seems to be that since the pool of participants will go up the cost of insurance should go down. In a free and competitive market this would be true, and we can debate how free the market is (its not) but there is no real competition at all to even attempt to drive the cost down. The second theory is that people will stop using emergency room services that they end up not paying for because now they can just go to the doctor instead and still not pay for it. This Ponzi scheme does shift the funds around (slight of hand though it is) so that the hospitals can avoid getting stuck with the tab and the doctor actually gets paid, but I ask again, what is the impetuous for either the hospital or the insurance company to lower the price. Yes they will have more paying clients and less waist, which might might might mean they make more money and higher profit margins so they could afford to spread the wealth back down and lower the cost, but without competition to drive that your asking the scorpion not to sting the frog on the way across the river. Its not gonna happen. This bill does come with some interesting funding as well. It taxes tanning bed users a 10% surcharge. While on the surface I have no issue with placing a specific tax on a specific item to generate funds for a specific and applicable reason, this one is a stretch in that it is based on loose science and statistics. Most people will buy the thought that tanning beds increase the risk of skin cancer, proven fact or not. The problem lies in following the pattern the rest of the way, are these folks then a drag on the medical system in large enough numbers that they should need to defray the cost? With smokers, this makes sense, but with tanning bed users the equation seems to fall apart, except in the reality that somebody was grasping at straws trying to find funding for their personal legal triumphs. As a side note, I don't endorse random violence, but please dear government and media please understand something, your dancing with flame in a gasoline suit right now, people feel betrayed by you in large enough numbers that something has to give. If there is not a mass exodus of personnel out of Washington with the next vote, look for more violence and destruction to follow as the frustrated subjects rise up against the broken system.


• Gracie has made great progress this year in school. She is reading now very well. She has a standing homework assignment where she is supposed to read for at least 20 minutes each day. She has mostly been reading her Junie B. Jones books. ( Mrs. looked up at the ceiling, I looked up there too but I didn't see anything) but she also made a request of her parents the other night. She made us and offer we couldn't refuse so to speak. Gracie knew that two of her friends had gotten new bibles, and she knew that dad was going to church early now so he could take a men's bible study class before service started. She asked that if she went to the kids class and read her bible could she have her own big girl bible. Color me suckered 'cause she has a new bible. It is admittedly not a King James version, but it is far from a story book bible either. Its a real live chapter and verse bible. Gracie has made it thru Genesis 3 at this moment. The deal is she reads for 20 minutes and then dad reads to her what she just read in case there are questions or things that require more effort. I am so proud of her I could bust, even if I did get suckered into spending 40 bucks.


• Gracie has also signed up for a one day, and one NIGHT youth camp through our church. This should be interesting. Gracie has only slept away from us twice and both times it was just several houses down the street. This is going to be miles away. A camp like this is going to be really good for her, she will have to build more on those independent functioning skills and rely and trust more in herself and learn the ability to seek help from her peers when required, all those growing up things. Its a safe place with lots of youth workers, volunteer staffs, councilors, and youth pastors, so I am fine with the idea, but having my Boogs so far away for a day and a night is going to be tough on mom and dad, probably worse on us than her truth be know, but don't tell anybody OKAY !!


• Big Lots has some nice and reasonably priced patio furniture. This random fact brought to you only because it caused a temporary cease fire in the nagging process. By temporary I mean momentary, or actually perhaps it was imaginary. Yep, that's it, an imaginary cease fire in the nagging process. Focus switched instantly to the accoutrement that goes with a patio set, including but not limited to a fire pit. Oh, the ' replace the carpet that has been dog ruined, but paint the whole upstairs first, I am not nagging but are you done yet" also started this weekend. Wasn't nagging cause for stoning in biblical times? Could we look into bringing that back please? I think the Supreme Court is still male dominated enough that they would uphold such a thing, don't you?


• I borrowed an electric chainsaw to cut down some bushes in my yard this weekend. ( yes it is part of the project mentioned above ) There is something oxymoronish about an electric chainsaw. There is something inherently unmanly about it. No gas fumes, no mixing oil and gas and releasing puffs of blueish greenish smoke into the air because of the mixture being off. No smell of the chain lube cooking off as it burns against the motor body. No dead spot in the grass where you spill the poorly mixed oil and gas mixture. None of the manly man stuff that goes with a chainsaw. I felt like I should be in heels, hose and a skirt while I was chopping down these shrubs. Actually maybe the term should be electrically sawing the shrubs down. Chopping implies a much more manly endeavor than what I did. Anywho, the mass o' dead shrubs ( dead because me kilt 'em ar ar arrrr) has been dragged to the street. ( should that have been drug, drugged, dragged, or dragathed to the street?) I just hope that the waist collection people feel it in their hearts to haul them off this week. I have been told that they will do so, only if I tie them up first. Tie what, its a whole bush, 7 whole bushes to be exact. Each one is too big to tie to another bush and tying up just one bush doesn't maketh sense to me, its not going to get any easier or smaller, just because I engage in a bondage scene with mother nature. (ewww, I know, too far) If I do end up having to bind them up, I think I will go purchase some yellow ribbon and tie it in a bow, maybe the neighbors will at least get a chuckle that way.


• If you have to cross your legs to avoid flashing your who who at the pastor, your skirt is way to short. Just sayin'.


• I purchased 6 solar lights shaped like itty bitty pagodas to go around the patio. ( again, an imaginary nag stopper ) Is there something just wrong with the phrase , " solar lights " or is it just me. It seems redundant or something. I realize there are lunar lights, artificial lights, florescent lights etc etc. but solar lights are not lights of the sun as the name implies. Lunar lights are light from the moon, artificial lights are light caused in an artificial manner, one would think that solar lights would be sun light, but no. They are really artificial light that is powered by a battery that it just so happens was charged by the sun. I think we should call them wireless lights and get it over with.


• The madness of March is almost over. I have survived yet another year. Its not that I don't like basketball really, its an okay sport. It's mildly entertaining for the most part. The thing that gets my boxers in a bunch is just the shear volume of it all. You have all the tournaments that precede THE tournament. All those po-dunk ( pun intended) conferences that you don't care about any other time. Those conferences with George Mason, IUPUI, Southwestern Idaho Agricultural and Knitting University and the like. These are immediately followed by a selection show in which the field is narrowed down to only, ( yes only) 64 teams. ( actually its 66 teams since the added a play in game) Then the talking heads of sports spend the next little bit of forever arguing about the 3 teams who didn't make it. This continues for weeks or until some Cinderella makes the case that they can actually play, then everybody shuts up. At the same time, in interest of gender equality, the same thing is happening in a women's league. AND at the same time, the NIT, or Not In Tournament tournament is getting underway. AND the division 2AA II NIAI or whatever division it is also is playing on ESPN 18, subtitles in Spanish. Just in case this is not enough ( its enough already ) they have a 3 point competition and slam dunk contest just to kill a few minutes between games. Next year, rumor has it, that the tourney is going to expand one whole tier, that's 128 teams, or 130 if they keep the play in game. Next years play in game will be the Ag-ed nuns from St. Agathas vs. the winner of the prison league play off in Idaho. Go Ag-ed nuns go......... Good thing is, its almost over, bad thing is the only thing on television will now be baseball. Oh dont get me started on that primadona train full of losers.......... ( sorry Patti )

Well, this has been random, but this blog is called Normal Chaos so you should be used to me by now.

" Its the economy stupid"

I love that quote !!

I just wanted to take a quick minute to share with you some of my ideas for saving your hard earned money. In these tough economic times, every penny counts and we all could use a little more disposable income. Do you remember that term, disposable income? That was the money that was left after bills and needs that you could ' dispose' . Now that money is called, ' economic stimulus'. Also notice that neither stimulating the economy or disposing of income translates well into saving for retirement, rainy days, or emergencies.

So, here are a few tips from the mind of me:

1. Toilet paper is expensive when you get right down to it. We use a lot of it, and for what ( don't answer that ) it gets used one time and thrown away. Seems a waste to me, does it not. We even get upset if throwing it away doesn't work like its supposed to the first time, clogged drain and all that. Well people, we don't have much choice in this matter, not every home comes with a bode (SP?) , leaves and grass are not going to do the trick on a daily basis, so what are we to do? We can buy in bulk, size matters when it comes to pinching pennies. We can shop sales, use coupons, stock up when these stars align just so. In my infinite wisdom, I have a better suggestion, however. Don't poop at home. I mean think about it, in our culture of wealth redistribution it makes sense to have somebody else pay for the toilet paper. Do you have a job? If you do, wait till you get to work. It might take a little while to reschedule your body clock to feel the need during the beginning and the end of your work day, but once this has been done you can minimize this wasteful expense, at least in terms of spending your own dollar. Ever take road trips? You just cant drive hundreds of miles without finding that McDonald's has the cleanest and most convenient bathrooms around, and guess what, I bet there is one of those golden arches just up the street from you. Let them pay for your toilet paper.
2. Speaking of McDonald's and other such fast food restaurants. Go take a look in your refrigerator at the condiment shelf, now go look in your pantry for such items as sugar, artificial sweeteners, coffee creamers, etc. Why are we buying these things when we can get them for free from these restaurants? We can accumulate a wide variety of ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauces and coffee creamers, not to mention sweet - n - low and equal, just by asking for or acquiring a few extra each time we are in one of these establishments. Heck, if you use the local Mickey-D's as your daily potty stop, you can have a plethora of condiments in no time. You might need to look around a while to find things like pickle relish, but Long John Silvers is a good source for free vinegar and tartar sauce. Is this stealing? No, its wealth redistribution, now that the corporate world is awash in bailout money supplied by our tax dollars, its really our stuff to begin with, right?
3. Next we have another paper product waste. Why do we spend money on napkins and paper towels? These items are not required like toilet paper is, there are an abundance of suitable substitutes that cost little or nothing by comparison. Do we just need to have that handsome Brawny man in our cupboard to look at once in a while? What exactly is the deal with that anyway. Unless you frequently dine while naked, you have a sleeve or a shirt tail to wipe your mouth on, and pants to clean the grease off your hands. For you ladies who really don't want grease on your skirts, or you metro guys who are wearing white linen pants or silk cargo shorts, you can still use a dish cloth instead of paper. It works just fine, better for messy meals even, and you can toss it in the washer with the next load of towels.
4. Speaking of washing machines, dryers and towels, there is another waste that can save you money. First off, when you get out of the shower, your body is clean, wet, but clean. Once you dry off, you usually toss the towel aside in a pile or hamper where it waits until it gets washed. Dear wives, I have a secret to tell you, the towel you used for your shower this morning, you husband re-used when he got home from work. Why? Well, its clean, and by now its dry, so why not. Washing it uses water and detergent, drying it uses electricity, both of which cost money, its a waste. You could do this too, one towel could last the two of you all week if you just keep hanging it up to dry. Imagine the savings of only washing one load of towels a month, instead of two a week. And as for dryer sheets, never never ever take them out of the dryer. Just keep re-using them. If you have 4 used dryer sheets in there, they will work better than one new one. You don't have to take them out of the dryer, they sneak out on their own and find their way into our socks and underwear, let them escape on their own.
5. If your like me, you need to get up and go to the bathroom most every night in the middle of the night. A little money saving tip here, pee in the dark. Hey, it may only be two cents a year, but that's two cents you saved, you can buy two thoughts with that money.
6. Grilling out is another one. Do you have a gas grill? If you do, I just bet that neighbor down the street from you does as well. You know the guy I am talking about, the one with the Lexus in the driveway and the Harley in the garage, he has a gas grill too. Keep your eye on his grill and when he gets a new tank, take your half empty tank down at night and switch it out. He will think the tanks just don't hold as much as they used to, and you can save yourself 20 bucks a pop every time you do this. Isn't that theft you say? NO no no, its just letting your neighbor stimulate the economy a little more by redistributing his wealth instead of your own. Don't get caught however, if he owns a Harley he just might whoop your behind if he sees you.
7. My daughter Gracie informed me the other day that she needed some new bowls for her to eat cereal out of in the morning. I took her shopping and bought her the one she wanted. Why? Because she is spoiled rotten that's why. When I was a kid I had to wait till the butter was gone to get a new bowl. Heck, by the time a year had passed I had a twelve place matched set of bowls. I took them with me to college even. When I got married my wife tossed out my bowls. I have eaten soup and cereal in them for almost 20 years, and never had to buy a bowl, ever. You can do this as well, the small Land O Lakes bowls even make good relish trays, just fill one of those up with olives and your good to go.
8. For reasons I don't understand, some people like to use paper plates. They especially like to use paper plates for casual dinning at home with items like pizza. The guy who delivered you pizza very thoughtfully brought it to you in a box. Why cant you just use the box lid like normal people huh? Just rip it right off there and wa-la free paper plate. Have three guests? Cut the box lid in four pieces, it works just fine. Well, some people use a knife to cut their pizza and this is difficult to do on 1/4 of a box lid. Stop being a commie and eat pizza like a red blooded American, you don't cut pizza, just grab a hunk and have at it. Stop wasting your money on paper products, save a tree, use the box lid.
9. Believe it or not, water costs money. If you can learn to shave, shower, brush your teeth and pee at the same time, you can save real dollars every month. The trick to this one is that the shower cant take any longer than it did when you just showered and nothing else. Hot water not only costs water dollars, it costs gas dollars to heat it up as well.
10. The last tip is simple, boycott Hallmark and American Greetings and any other card maker. Stop sending cards, those little pieces of folded paper with 12 rhythmic words you don't really mean printed on them can cost anyplace from 99 cents to 6 bucks each. Then you have to part with nearly two quarters to mail the stupid thing. The person who gets it just reads it once, says, "aw, how thoughtful" and then tosses into the garbage. Instead of the card, give them a call to say what you really mean, spend some time talking with them. They will get even more out of it, and you will save a bundle of jack in the process. Don't forget to call on nights or weekends when you have unlimited minutes, unless of course they are already in your network and then it doesn't matter.

Okay, last thing, start charging for your services. This will help increase your income. So, if you put any or all of these suggestions into practice and save money this year, I would like you to send me 10% of your savings. I mean it was my idea after all. Oh, if you get beat up by the guy down the street, don't come to me with your medical bills, I told you to not get caught.

The time line assignment

Well Gracie has another project to work on. She has an assignment concerning a timeline. I don't know the details yet since I have not seen the actual assignment yet, but I have learned this.

She is supposed to gather some pictures of herself, starting with birth, and then place them in order and then the class can look at how they have grown, and hopefully ( I am guessing here) begin to get a better understanding of how time works. They are also supposed to write down their birth weight and length as well, then current weight and height I think.

Anybody else see a problem here? There is one, hopefully a small one.

There may or may not be anyone who knows Gracie's birth weight, and length. Her birthday for that matter is just and educated guess.

This little eccentricity went unnoticed for just a brief moment, but now it is being handled appropriately and with great care and dignity. I hope it works out without causing any emotional backlash, but this is a topic that may be helpful and educational to all the kids in her class, or it could be a painful and damaging sequence of events, we shall see.

Gracie says , by the way, she wants to be a ' runway model-er '

I dont think daddy can handle that !!

Gracie's Restorodt

So today I get home and before I can even change clothes, Gracie drags me over to her play room door. In front of the door is a sign that reads....

Grace's Restorodt

She says to me,,,,

" come ,,, sit down and enjoy, order like in real life.... I really want your business "

Well, what dad could turn that down huh?

So I enter her Restorodt and sit down at her oh so tiny tea table, you know the kind that fit them just right but put your knees up near your ears, yeah, that kind.

The table is set, table cloth ( blue bandanna ) fork and knife, ( one pink plastic, the other blue ) she then hands me a menu. She must have spent half the day concocting this menu.

She says to me........

" What would you like...."

I then peruse the menu for a while, it takes me a minute to translate because she did this all on her own, her own imagination, as well as her own spelling. After taking a bit too long she says to me.......

" Why don't you order a drink first while you decide, the drinks are here at the bottom"

( okay, I am now certain that we eat out too much)

I order sweet tea....

She then goes, gets a yellow plastic tea cup and a pink princess tea pot and pours me some tea at the table. She then asks.......

" would you like a lemon?"

" no thank you " I reply

( Really, we need to eat at home more, this is ridiculous )

I then order spaghetti with a cup of vegetable soup.

She searches and searches and cant find a suitable cup for a cup of soup. She then asks me if a mug would be okay. Well of course it is.

She then presents me with a kool-aid mug with a plastic leaf, a plastic potato, and a plastic carrot stuffed down in it. Ya know, she really made vegetable soup, plastic though it was, she hit on the ingredients pretty darn well. While I was chewing on my lettuce leaf she hunted me up a pink plastic plate and went over to her stove to cook up the spaghetti. When she noticed the lettuce leaf in my mouth she abruptly expounded upon the fault in her service.

" Oh no daddy, I forgot to give you a spoon, you need a spoon for soup"

She quickly brought me a yellow plastic spork to enjoy my Kool-aid mug full of plastic vegetable soup. Then back to slave away in her kitchen.

A minute or two later she plopped the plastic spaghetti, sauce included, on the pink plate and served it from the right.

I continued to enjoy my meal until I had satisfactorily consumed all the delicious delicacies supplied by my little Hunan entrepreneur. Once finished I arose fulfilled and satisfied with my fine dinning experience. However, now this is priceless. She now informed me that this was a restaurant, just like real life, and I needed to tend to my bill. She had manufactured a check out station from a pink two step stool with a compartment in the high step. She opened her " register" to present me with a bill for twenty dollars and 30 cents. She settled for 4 quarters and 3 dimes, but I was impressed by the fact that she actually had written me up a tab. Something tells me that daddy is gonna get suckered into this every once in a while.

Once it was done, I requested that I be able to take the menu with me. She asked why, and I answered that if I took the menu home with me I could be prepared for later and maybe drop in for carry out. She then informed me that if I call ahead, she can deliver. The truth is that I wanted the menu so I could share it with you all. She obviously put a lot of time and effort into it.

Grace's Restorodt ( what the sign actually read outside her playroom )

• Sasue and chips
• makenrone chees
• fish stiks
• vecndbre soop ( vegetable soup, I needed a minute on this one)
• sofla (souffle, I didnt know she knew that word )
• spagetee
• sweet tea
• woater
• dokd peper ( doctor pepper, one of daddy's favorites)
• coke
• Grace's thick milk ( whole milk )
• Milk
• Choklet milk
• smootheez
• bnanu smoothee (banana smoothie )

Maybe its just me, but this list was priceless.

Maybe its just me, but I think we need to eat at home more.

Maybe its just me, but I am proud of her effort and imagination. Yes the spelling is terrible, but she was playing, not applying herself under a school situation or with any supervision what so ever.

It amazes me that not so long ago she could not even say a lot of these words, now she forms them into large complex ideas and attempts to write them down to imitate " real life "

Slow down my dear Gracie, your growing quit fast enough, please don't rush it..... daddy likes having a little cuddle bug named boogs around. I don't think I am ready for a teenager with a job just yet.

Oh yeah, the end of the meal came with her saying,

" Please come again "

Chinese New Year 2010

It's that time of year again. That beautiful fortress at the rivers bend, the fortress guarded by a humongous arch has been calling and taunting us again. It is once again time to lay siege on the city of St. Louis. The Hunan hoard has begun to advance on the city. The Wilson Clan containing one division will approach from the east. The Collins Clan will approach from the south east with 4 divisions. The Hess Clan will approach from the south west with one division. The Ryan Clan will approach from the south with 2 divisions. The Martin Clan will approach from the west with a strong experienced 5 divisions. The advance scout party, the Thompson's, are waiting for us to join forces with their 1 division, and the Commodore (Grandma Kay, its her place ) The moat made by the mighty Mississippi could not stop us, the rush hour cavalry could not impede our progress. The many miles of barren wasteland could not keep us from this journey. . ( that would be Indiana mostly ) All the above Clans converged on the city. We met at Kay's condo and proceeded to lay waste to the St. Louis. We sacked, pillaged and plundered the area. Once this was accomplished we had a celebratory family meal together, confessed our allegiance to one another, reaffirmed our bonds to each other and then returned to our own kingdoms leaving the Thompson family to reign once more in the fortress city of the Arch.

Okay, maybe this isn't exactly how it happened, its just what it seems like in my twisted little mind. What exactly am I talking about? Well, since I have acquired a few new readers since last Chinese new year, please allow me to step back and fill in a little history for some of the folks.

My daughter, Gracie, was adopted from the Hunan province of China. When you adopt from China you usually have what is called a travel group. When we arrived in Beijing, we did so with something near 100 people. Our travel group was scattered around the hotel a bit but we did break off into groups when we went sight seeing. This was the beginning of our groups bonding. Then we traveled as a group to the city of Changsha, capital of the Hunan province. All 10 families of our group are now stationed on the same floor of the Dalton hotel. We spend several days getting to know one another. The life altering event of Gotcha day takes place in Changsha. Gotcha day is when the adopted child is handed over to their forever family. This group of young ladies were mostly, but not entirely, from the same orphanage. I think 8 of them were from YiYang and 2 of them were from Changsha number 1 ( I think). The most powerful single moment of gotcha day to me was when my wife proclaimed, "thank you JESUS" after Yi Meng Chang ( Marilyn Grace ) was put in her arms. From gotcha day on, a life bond was born between these young girls. One of the couples lives in St. Louis, hometown of our adoption agency, Children's Hope International. They very graciously invite all the couples to come to St. Louis to celebrate Chinese New Year every year. Mr. Thompson's mom, Kay has a nice condo that will hold the inflow of families. We spend some time together Friday, just letting the kids play, we have an activity Saturday followed by the traditional Chinese New Year family meal at Hunan Empress and a re-shoot of the red couch picture. Sunday is a little more time together, difficult goodbyes and then back to life. These girls call each other sister even though they share no blood. It is a beautiful thing to just sit back and watch. Oh, the red couch deserves a little explanation as well, the red couch is the traditional photo taken in Guangzhou where all the newly adopted kids are perched on a red couch for a photo. All the girls so look forward to these event every year, and another other opportunity to be with there "sisters". It just transcends cool in every way.

Well, enough history. Lets tell this years tale.

First issue, the dress. Angie bought a traditional Chinese gown for Gracie to wear. Most all of the girls and some of the adults are in traditional attire for the family dinner. Angie purchased the dress on January 6th. A few days before we were to leave town Angie contacted our friend Ann in China to see where the package was, it had not arrived yet. Ann was unable to help, so in a last ditch effort I had her order one overnight from China Sprout, it came the day before departure, it was too small. OOh no, Gracie is devastated, she doesn't want to not be dressed up for this important event. Super plumber Ninja dad and Super duper mom must know undertake the impossible. Find a traditional Chinese gown in Gracie's size in just a few hours, days before New Years, in a mid west suburb. Time for the Internet, and mommas memory. Angie remembers a little shop in a mall across town called Into Asia. I called and spoke with the Chinese store keeper. It was refreshingly comical to speak with her in her broken English. She told me, " you bring to me, her, we see, we fit, might have, bring her here?" Yes ma'am, we are on the way. Gracie got her dress, its the pink one. She looks beautiful, and mom and dad are hero's again, all is well.

Next the trip.

We travel to St. Louis. It takes us about 7 hours give or take to make this trip. 7 hours worth of Gracie wanting to talk because she is so so very excited, and seven hours of momma wanting Gracie to hush. I understand both of them, but at this point can barley tolerate either of them. I love my girls, but when they are at odds with each other in a confined space I feel like I am a terrorist being put in a chair under a light bulb, unable to escape. Angie decided she needs coffee, not just any coffee, but special coffee. Luckily for her, she has an app. for that. Out comes the IPhone. It gives her directions to some little coffee house buried in the back of a strip mall in Mt. Vernon. Gracie and I are just hoping this helps calm her nerves. Once arriving in St. Louis we used to same app. to find every snooty coffee house in Chesterfield. Anyways. Finally we arrive in the city, check into the hotel, and make our way to the condo.

From here on, words just don't work anymore. Even my excessively colorful verbiage falls well short of being able to describe the chaos, love, bond, chaos, playing, excitement, and chaos of the next few hours. This year there are only 6 of the usual 7 Hunans there. The 7th is in South Korea this year. They visited by computer link (Skype) for a while on Saturday. The girls missed Lia Joy this year, but they played together well all the same. It is so amazing to just watch them grow from year to year. There are only about 4 months difference in their ages so they hit milestones pretty close together. This year Gracie is one of the smaller girls. The others seem to have hit growth spurts a little ahead of her, but by and large, they are the same size. One of the subjects of discussion this time was the mystery of why are we all so determined to keep in contact with each other. I think we have no choice in the matter. Why? Well, God and 7 of His special princesses said so, that's why.

The trip home was reasonably uneventful. We looked forward to the comforts of home, our bed, etc. We had the usually series of potty stops and gas stops. By the way, don't stop when the sign says food and gas ahead, Sulfur Indiana. It is a trick. The gas station is a little too reminiscent of the movie Deliverance. Gator runs the gas station, I am sure of it. As for food, I'm thinking Possum was on the menu. I did not fill up here. We just locked the doors and u-turned in the middle of road. We made it with no casualties, which was in doubt a few times.

I also learned that if you walk into a Starbucks and request a VENTI CHAMELEON SHENANDOAH BIRKENSTOCK RALPHY RALPHY DOUBLE FONZIE, they will actually make something and charge you 5 bucks for it. Who knew?