Creative outlet

Please indulge me :

" Oh what a long, strange trip its been" to approximately borrow a line from the Grateful Dead. An adventurous journey from frail fearful dependence to a stubborn strong willed Independence. A path from a group of concerned and faithful caregivers to a destination of an unconditionally loving family and warm loving friends. Marilyn Grace is growing up at a pace that would concern Einstein because even light doesn't move this fast. At 18 months she struggled to sit up, 3-1/2 years later she cant sit down or stand still. At 18 months screaming was her word of choice, and she had only 3 words to choose from, 3-1/2 years later she engages in conversations about physics, theology, politics and family relations. She uses more 4 and 5 syllable words than I do. We are frequently told how 'ridiculous' something is, and that tomato's are 'disgusting". She once was fearful of strangers, but now she will often begin talking to anybody who looks at her long enough, and then she will start to tell them everything she knows and what she is doing, and about how many purses she has and what is in the purse, and the names of her friends, and and and, well, you get the picture. When she used to fall down and get hurt she would get up, but she wanted held for a minute and consoled, now when she falls off her two wheeler she just blames me for not catching her, asks for a band aid to put on the boo boo when we get back in the house, and hops back on the bike and goes on, bloody knee and all. The round angelic baby face is all but gone, replaced by a myriad of expressions on a face of a beautiful little princess. She can express so many emotions and thoughts now, but the indignant eye roll is my favorite. I am not supposed to laugh, but I am not that strong most of the time.

To all things there is a season. This has been a season of growth and change. This is a time of wondrous newness. I don't want some things to change, things like the smiling eyes that peek out from under the covers when I tuck her in or get her up at the wee hours of the morning. The eyes are all I can see but each one curves itself up into its own little smile and I know the whole little princess is happy and at peace with life. I know this won't last forever for as the old Indian saying goes, not even the rocks are forever. As we grow we also begin to develop our own lives and our own schedules and we need our caretakers less and less as we strive to do for ourselves more and more. In some ways this is a joy to a parent, in other ways its heartbreaking. Its a great feeling to be needed, its the best feeling to be wanted, but alas with children as they grow they need us less and less and want us to help them less still. I so enjoy each new achievement and rejoice with her as she progresses, I also work hard to ignore the loss I feel as her progress separates her from me. I look forward to her being proficient in tying her shoes by herself, I will miss her asking me to help her. I look forward to her getting ready all by herself and fixing her own hair, but I am sure momma will miss the battle zone known as the ponytail.

The greatest journey begins with the first step. Gracie has gone from scooting, to crawling, to staggering, to walking, to at last running towards her future. She is such a little baby and yet such a little girl, and with each quick little stride of those way too tiny little feet she is sprinting towards the rest of her life. Her confidence grows each day, her knowledge grows each hour, she matures with every passing moment, her mom and I just get older as we try to keep up with her pace. This may sound to most of you to be an odd realization, but hey its me where talking about so odd is just in character, but I noticed that Gracie has everything that any real person would have. Strange, I know, but I have always thought of babies as babies and kids as kids, not real people. Gracie has altered my viewpoint as I realize she has acquired all the trimmings of a real person, feelings, emotions, expressions, deeply curious thoughts, concerns, worries, fears, etc. She has acquired her own friends that she has met and made all on her own, she has learned to live with a schedule, a schedule that is all her own, she has learned what responsibility means and takes if very seriously, she will say, "I'll feed Bitty, its my responsibility" and when she says it she knows what it means. She is far from being an adult, but she is a real person, and adulthood is only a few laps around the track away.

When I look at the two pictures of Gracie I have posted on this post, I see where it started with the 'gotcha' picture. I also see where it is going. Gracie is too small for her backpack and her hands are playfully bouncing side to side, but she is walking away from the shelter of love, taking the love with her, and going out to meet and greet the world. Her journey is still at an early stage, but she has come oh so very very far at a totally mind blowing speed. She is eager to live life and eat up all that life has to offer, treats and storms alike. Speaking of storms, to the world I have but this to say, dear world, buckle your seat belt, batten down the hatches, Marilyn Grace the Hunan Hurricane is about to blow into town, prepare yourselves!!!!

Oh what a long strange trip its been.