This weekend was a great weekend for football in spite of the fact that most of the teams I follow lost their behinds this week, it was still great. My Buckeyes did manage an impressive win, but the Browns are still struggling. The best football game was my local high school game, the Little Miami Panthers put up a good fight against Wilmington but they were just not up to the task. Those Wilmington boys were just freakin huge. I don't know the real stats, but from the stands it looked like the Panthers had safeties and cornerbacks that were about 5'-3" tall and Wilmington had receivers who where 6'-7" or so. The mismatch was huge. Anyway, I wont bore you with this stuff, I want to bore you with something else instead. I don't attend many high school football games. Its just not my thing. I went to a few while in school and a few rivalry games (Reading vs. Deer Park) in the last few years, but with children comes changes. I now attend several pee wee football games each year and Little Miami Homecoming each year. I do this because Gracie gets to cheer at homecoming with the big girl cheerleaders. Its the cutest thing in the world to watch all these half pint cheerleaders do their thing standing next to some serious teens. The little ones love it because they get to feel special and share the 'big stage' and the teens seem to love it too, because the half pints are just so stinkin cute, and they are working and trying so hard. Something like 15 squads of girls from 5th grade down to kindergarten get to be on the sideline the entire first half with the varsity girls scattered amongst them. It is a real event. I don't know about the rest of the kids but to Gracie its like a jie jie mei mei ( I am sure I spelled that wrong) kind of thing. ( Big sister little sister in Chinese).
Well enough of that, the thing I wanted to bore you with today is my observations at the football game. I spent most of the first half watching the cheerleaders and the game upon occasion while sitting in my seat, or standing as events warranted. I enjoyed the game and enjoyed my Gracie, but with 2 minutes left in the half it was time for me to go face the crowds and retrieve Gracie from her coaches. I was now running loose in the crowd and it is time to start observing my surroundings.
One thing I notice right away is that there is a fence that surrounds the entire compound. There are grassy areas, shelters, high spots, low spots, observation towers, and mud flats. I am at a high school football stadium, but suddenly I realize that its really a wildlife nature preserve.
I mean think about it.
Out on the plains (the field) you have two herds of rams butting heads over and over again, most of which are trying to impress the lambs and all of which are trying to win the title of being the strongest.
Through the rubble and in the small places you have packs of wild hyenas roaming loose looking for food and harmless mayhem ( that would be boys between 9-13 years old). They roam around and get into stuff while hunting game such as hot dogs, pretzels, and the ever elusive wild Mountain Dew. They stay tightly packed together until they accidentally stumble upon a lions den, and when the lion roars they all freeze for a moment until most of them scatter. ( One of their mommas is the lion of course)
Over on the grassy knoll you have a herd of Zebras all milling around in circles talking with each other, but they are tightly packed and looking in all directions like there is something amiss but they are not sure what. ( they are the Freshman girls ) Around them you have a circling pack of salivating dogs that keep wandering and roaming around waiting for one of the Zebras to stray too far out from the herd. ( they are the Freshman boys)
On the one edge of the stadium you have what is called the "student" section. This area is filled with monkeys. You have your chest beating gorilla guys, your crack smokin spider monkeys, your bouncing and flipping chimpanzees, and your co-ed lemurs. Next to the student section is where you will find the penguin section. ( the police, cute and cuddly boys, cute and cuddly)
Behind the stadium, and almost under the stadium you will find some random odd creatures. You will find male and female rabbits who are obviously frightened and cold because they are snuggled up in a little dark hole trying to keep each other warm. Tomorrow there will be more bunnies I am guessing. ( get a room kids, or not, go home alone and take a cold shower my brotha )
This is also the place to find the pink headed cockatoo and green headed song birds. You will also see Motto Motto and the other male hippos trying to find their way to the pond. This is also the place where you see the alligators chasing the lemmings. ( lemmings are the 6-9 year olds that big brother and big sister were supposed to be watching but have since escaped and now dad (gator) has to coral before momma (lion) finds out.
Lastly we have the peacocks. Now, I realize in the real animal kingdom, the peacocks with the colorful plumage are male, but in this world the teen girls are the peacocks. The teen girls all walking around with their short skirts, foofed hair, make-up, and hooters hangin' out. (what did he say?) Observation, teen breasts are pretty, perky, attractive, plumpy plumpy, oh -la. They are nice to look at and pleasant............ HEY, girls, I mean peacocks, cover that stuff up a bit would ya !!!!!!!!!! I am 41 years old, I don't need to see your 17 year old mammaries. I know its October and that means its Breast Cancer Awareness month, but that doesn't mean you need to walk around with 'em hangin' out all over the place......
Maybe I am getting old, maybe I am losing my mind, or maybe I am just raising a daughter, (or possibly all three), but the peacocks really need to not flaunt the plumage so much.!!
Well the park rangers (coaches) eventually helped me find my way off the reserve, all is well.
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