The end is nearer still.

Well, if you had read my post titled 'Answer number five" ( http://yimengchang.blogspot.com/2008/05/answer-number-five.html )

you may have noticed that my mom has warned me that the End is near. Well, last night in south western Ohio we had a trail of sever weather pass thru, Tornado's, hail, high winds, lightening, thunder, lions and tigers and bears oh my. So as I am sitting on the couch too late in the evening with a hankering for some canned peaches and window screen debugged flour morsels whilst watching the local 'meteorologist' describe the mayhem that is taking place all around me, (yawn) I get to thinking about the terrible state of affairs this country is in. I mean think about what is going on right now in our little piece of the world. Oh so many places to start how shall I choose just one.

Let me start with the economy. Ford Motor Company has announced its pending sale of Jaguar (Pronounced Jag _ you_ Wire_) and LandRover to an Indian company called Tata. This strikes me as strange for a multitude of reasons. First, why does Ford own two British iconic brand names to begin with. Second, why are they selling them to an Indian company. I am sure the old school colonialist Brits are rolling over in their collective graves at the thought of it. First the damn rebels bought them, then they sold em to that most pestering colony. Its enough to ruin tea time all together. Ford has also announced that it will be temporarily closing its Truck plant in Mexico, to re-tool it for production of the Ford Fiesta which it will reintroduce to America in 2010 and the rest of the world in 2011. I can also now hear ol' Henry trying to rise from the dead to haunt his ignorant offspring. The Fiesta was sold here for two years 78-80 or so, only two years because it made the Pinto look good, not to mention spacious. Fiesta means party in Spanish because this is not a car, its a party favor. They will import Ford trucks to Mexico after that time. General Motors has announced its closing 4 plants in US, Canada, and Mexico, and will add people to their production facilities that make small cars. They are also looking to terminate the HUMMER nameplate. No more Hummers, 'bout time geniuses. Those beasts don't fit in the average garage and get 3 gas stations per mile. Chrysler was bought by the Germans who ran it into the ground as a payback for calling the stuff we drink beer. They then sold it to a hedge fund, which is just a bunch of pin heads with more money than brains. Speaking of beer, did you know we are about to lose the only big beer brewer left. Anheuser Busch (http://www.anheuser-busch.com/ ) is being courted by INBEV of Belgium. Miller is already owned by a South African firm and Coors in Molson Coors of Canada. We don't even make our own beer anymore. The end is truly near.

Now, lets talk politics. Barrack Obama has sewn up the DNC nod at this point. Hillary will back off this Friday. There will be no winners in this election. We have the old man who is stubborn and short sighted verses the young man who is inexperienced and clueless. We have the patient and painfully plodding versus the impetuous and naive. We have an economy on the brink of either recovery or collapse balanced delicately on a needle made of glass and our choices are between lumbering elephant and dancing jack ass. The end is near.

Next we have two major crisis at home that must be dealt with swiftly and surely. We have an impending energy crisis that demands we conserve and go green till it hurts. We must comply. The auto companies are starting to do their part, we need to follow them and demand the energy companies and government do the same. We also have an immigration crisis that it starving our systems and making our borders unsafe. We must alleviate this pressure on our limited resources as well. These two items brought to bare in conjunction with one another will cripple our economy. The end is near.

I, little ol' me, have the solution. I am the man with the plan. It came to me just the other night shortly after humming a few bars with Elvis. (Blue Christmas I think it was) I can solve the energy crisis, secure our borders, provide time and cheap labor to put up the windmill farms, solar farms and nuclear plants, I can bring gas back down to a buck something a gallon, provide a huge influx of workers to build hydro electric dams and farm hands to grow the extra crops we need to switch over to bio fuels in the next 10 years. I can accomplish all of this with a brief but forceful round table negotiation. How is this all possible you ask? Is it too good to be true? No, really its obvious and simple, or just simply obvious. Our border is hard to control because its so large, make it smaller. We are dependant on foreign oil because we don't have enough of it here, put more of it here. Our economic situation is strained across borders because our wage scale and expectations are so different from our neighbors, level that playing field. How? Isnt that impossible to do. Not really, just have a meeting and negotiation with Puerto Rico, the Virgin Isles, Canada, Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Panama, Belize, Honduras and who ever else I might have missed and show them our flag. Our new flag, you know the one with 60 or so stars on it. That's right, Annex Mexico and everything else down to the canal. Annex Canada and all US territories (Guam, I forgot Guam) Make them all states, make them all citizens, which 9 out of 10 would like anyway. That would exponentially increase our energy resources, we can defend a minute border at the canal and man it would really really help out our tourist industry. Problem solved.

The End is Near.