Yearly review and prophicy...............

In a second annual version, I shall review the happenings of the previous year and then prognosticate some events for the coming year. I will then, in the next post, review my prognostications from last year and see just how well I did.



This past year was busy and full of events, some pleasant, some not so much so. Lets start with my favorite subject....... Gracie............

1. Gracie goes to kindergarten. This will be a movie title someday I am sure of it. When she started she was notably behind the other kids, but now with the help of a wonderful teacher, diligent parenting, ESL classes (English as a Second Language) and speech therapy she is even with and passing some of her peer. She reads on par for her age, writes, draws, cuts, etc all in line with her expectations. This is truly remarkable. The only place she is lacking at the moment is in that hand-eye coordination department, but that may never come.
   
2. Gracie gets a 2 wheeler. Bye bye tricycle, hello hell on wheels. She has a pink and white and blue bike, and a pink helmet. Somehow when she falls over its my fault. If you find yourself driving through Willow Pond during the warm seasons and see a fat, out of breath bald guy running in circles behind a little Chinese chickeepoo, that would be me. Beep and wave to say hi, but don't stop, I cant talk right now.
   
3. Gracie decides Halloween is not a good night and doesn't want anything to do with it (yeah we win), Gracie decides Santa is real even though she has been told, repetitively, that he is not (boo, we lose) Gracie's version of Santa is as follows. " Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus birthday and we give Him ourselves as presents, then He gives us presents in return, and Santa delivers them. " (oh, so close)
   
4. Gracie is a cheerleader. She is the smallest (too small for the smallest uniform even), the cutest, and the least coordinated cheerleader you ever saw.
   
5. Gracie has a sleep over. Momma is in a coma by morning.
   

There were some other events during the year as well. Hurricane takes half of our shingles off, in Ohio. Some election nonsense that just proves how gullible some people can be. My church goes up for auction. Detroit Lions go O'fer the season. O.J finally goes to jail. Total utter economic collapse with a government response of nationalizing whole industries and some companies. The Beijing Olympics and all the hoopla and controversy that it brought. yadda yadda and some other stuff.

Well, that's enough review. Lets look ahead to what 09 might bring.

1. U.S government buys GM and then sells it to Toyota making Toyota the biggest company in the world. Toyota refuses to honor UAW contracts, fires all union employees, replaces them with workers and then sells GM back to U.S government for a profit. Government then returns union-less unburdened and profitable company to private hands and GM stock is selling for $110 a share. Obama looks like a genius but it was really Newt working behind the scenes pulling it all off.





2. After all the banks get done gobbling each other and we end up funding the only one left, we will have only one bank, it will be called the Federal Reserve Bank of America.
   
   
3. We will NOT have an energy policy, we will NOT have affordable health care, we will NOT have lower taxes on the working class, we will NOT have improved trade, we will NOT have less immigration problems, and we will NOT get out of Iraq and Afghanistan any time soon. We will lose our HOPE and we will NOT have change. (cheerful aren't I?)
   
4. Sarah Palin announces that she is really Bill Clintons love child. To which Bill replied, " I did not have sexual relations with that teenager" (not buying it this time either)
   
5. Brett Farve retires, again, and resurfaces, again, but this time as a Dallas Cowboy.



6. Due to sponsorship cuts and pressure from a green administration Nascar cuts its season in half and only races hybrid vehicles like the Toyota Prius. Max speed is now 85 MPH. Ooogity Boogity, lets go rac-in.





7. Oprah leaves Steadman. She says it was the result of finding her one true love and her three month affair with Obama. Barack vehemently denied that there was any personal relationship between the two. Problem was, he was telling the truth. When questioned, Oprah said she left her man because of her affair with Michelle Obama. When Michelle was asked to comment she said that yes it was true, and she would have done anything to help her husband win the election. She also said that Oprah was an incredibly talented women and that they might have a future together. (eww)




8. The republican party announces its candidates for the 2012 election season and vows to run the longest campaign ever. The ticket will be Gingrich/Palin and they have promised to nominate Ted Nugett as the Secretary of the Interior. They are going back to their conservative roots.




9. David Letterman finally realizes he isn't funny and hasn't been for years.




10. Sylvester Stallone makes another Rambo movie. This time he goes into Iraq to rescue his former compatriot's from a geriatric center in Baghdad.