Pirated meme

It is another Facebook meme.

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! O, so long ago

1. Did you date someone from your school? Not really, the last few weeks of my senior year I sort of dated a girl named Melissa, but dating might be a stretch of the definition. Mostly it was just me and my pet rock.

2. How many were in your graduating class? 97 on campus and 109 if you count the Vocational school kids who graduated in the class.

3. Did you car pool to school? Drove or walked usually. I lived on the edge of town.

4. What kind of car did you have In High School? 1979 Monte Carlo with air shocks on the back that would adjust the height of the rear end up and down. It also had spoked hub caps that were supposed to look like rims. Can you say 'pimp my ride' ?

5. Did you like your graduating class? Mostly yes

6. Its Friday night…where were you? Skyline eating cheese coney's with chili, cheese, and extra mustard. Or, driving through Lincoln Heights hosing down the bums standing around the fire barrels in the middle of the streets with a refillable fire extinguisher stolen from a Holiday Inn. We would hang the thing out the window of the car as we drove by.( I know I know, but young and stupid is young and stupid)

7. What was your favorite class? Auto I think was my fave as a senior.

8. Whats something you did everyday in high school? Went to the senior lounge, the one and only year it was open. Apparently that turned out to be a bad idea, who knew.

9. Favorite Memory of HS? Pulling a SMALL pocket knife out of my pocket and poking a small hole in my best friends Pepsi and rolling it down the hall hosing down all the lockers. They are probably still sticky to this day.

10. Where were all the parties held? Dont remember, I was never there.

11. Were you considered a flirt?I was considered a lot of things, flirt would most likely not make that list. Geek, dweeb, nerd, social mutant, homely hom-ie, and "that" guy might make the list, but flirt wouldn't be it.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? No, no and Nyet...

13. Did you have best friends? Darin (Dawg or Titty in HS), Dennis, and Mike.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? Deserved to once or twice, but no.

15. Can you sing the Alma Mater? " Loy-al to Hu-dy, our great brew-er-ee, " okay, maybe thats a no because I cant get the 'other' version out of my head.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Mr. Theilmeyer, because of quotes I remember to this day.

• "Every step is bone on bone"



• "Not even the rocks are forever"



• "You need to learn to seperate the need to know, from the nice to know, from the not to know."



• "Everything in life comes down to one thing, surface area"

17. Where did you sit at lunch? Usually had no lunch so this was not a normal event.

18. What was your school’s full name? Reading Community High School

19. When did you graduate? 1986

20. What was your school mascot? Blue Devils

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Aint no way I would do that again. If I could do it over differently knowing what I know now, maybe, just maybe, but otherwise, no.

22. Did you have fun at Prom? You must be kidding. I didnt go to prom either year. I couldnt get a date in a womens prison with a fist full of pardons. I began to ask for dates by walking up to groups of girls and asking if anyone would like to go to prom with me. Even the bald one eyed girl who smelled like aged cheese and was in desperate need of dental work was going to run from me like I had anthrax. Short of using chloroform, prom was just not going to happen.

23. Would you talk to the person you went to Prom with? See above, but I would like to talk to the legions of ladies who turned me down.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?Yes, but I dont know why.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? Just one, Dawg.

I wasnt feeling exceptionally creative today but I wanted to get a post in so I pirated this from my friend Todd. HT to Todd.

If you would like to add in your two cents please feel free.

Speaking of your two cents. I have noticed that the last 2 months or so my sitemeter has been registering a lot less hits than it used to. This might be because I am getting boring and predictable, or it might mean that I am getting fewer random hits because of my choice of topics and nomenclature. Another possibility is that more and more people are using that devilish feed reader thing and not showing up on the sitemeter. I would like to request that due to my technological handicappedness everyone who is a regular or occasional reader leave a comment here so I can get a better idea who my audience is. If you have a favorite type of post, please clue me in to that as well. If you wish to remain anonymous, that's fine too, just leave an anonymous comment with maybe some clue as to how you know me or this blog and what you might like to see more or less of. Thank you for your assistance.

Hallmark

For those of you who are avid greeting card senders, you know who you are, your the ones who send a birthday card signed by you and a paw print for you dog. Your the one one who sends cards on Arbor Day and Earth Day. Your the one who sends Christmas cards to people you haven't called on the phone in 5 years, if ever, and sends them to people you have never met. If you are this person, please don't be offended by what I write next. In fact, just stop reading now and come back later so that the rest of us can talk about you. I mean no disrespect by this, its just that your a victim and you wont understand. Maxine.com is an excellent blog for you to check out while the rest of us normal people talk about you, see you in a little while.

Buh bye now...........

Okay, now that "they" are gone, have you ever really thought about what you are doing when you buy, pick out, send a greeting card? Are we expressing some deep sentiment or are we even saying something like 'hay, your important enough that I just spent 3 minutes in hell (Hallmark store) and $3.99 plus 50 cents shipping to say this to you'

No says I. Why? Because we might have spent the 4 bucks plus the stamp, but WE didn't say squat. We paid that 4 bucks to have some generic verbiage penned by an college journalism student 2 decades ago written down to say something for us, so we didn't have to.

That's right, we send greeting cards for two reasons. First, to avoid actually having to engage the person we sent them to in person. Secondly is because we have been brainwashed and trained from a young age that "if you care, care enough to send the very best" I will address the conspiracy later in this post.

Lets talk about the avoidance issue first. My favorite example of this is the 'thinking of you' cards. What is that all about!!! You were thinking about me, what were you thinking? Well, I think you were thinking that it would be easier to send me some lame greeting card instead of actually calling to see how I was doing, that's what you were thinking. If you actually called you might get stuck in awkward conversations about what is really going on, like why you haven't called before now for starters.

Next we have Christmas cards from people I don't know. I look forward to my Christmas cards from Gracie's Hunan sisters because it is cool to see how they have grown. These cards are either picture post cards or have a family picture in them every year. I think this is appropriate and we oblige and usually do the same for them. Cards from cousins I haven't seen in decades and haven't spoken to EVER, on the other hand is just the greeting card industry selling 'indulgences' to help them not feel guilty. Well cousin whoever, let me save you 5 bucks, don't feel guilty, I haven't called you either, its really not an issue so don't worry about it. Save a tree and don't send me a card. Let me be honest about what happens to the card, I open it, read the signature, check for something in the envelope (picture, check, anthrax powder etc) and toss card in garbage without reading anything printed on it. I will read written words, but I rarely read the printed stuff. The only exception to this rule is my wife, in case she quizzes me later.

Now we have the anniversary cards. Is it just me, or is there a certain irony involved in the delicate task of anniversary cards. Most of the time a card arrives, addressed to both married people, and the sender usually doesn't like or doesn't know the other half of the wedded couple. Maybe this one is just me.

Last, and my all time fav is the sympathy card. I know the people who send these out have the best intentions in mind so I give them credit for making an effort, but, (and you knew there would be a but) there are a few rules you, the sender, need to keep in mind. Rule number one, if you didn't know or didn't like the deceased person, don't act like you do now. Rule number two, if you wouldn't send me flowers any other time, now is not good either. In fact let me change this around a little, rules for when I die.

1. If you didn't take the time to come visit when I was alive, stay home now, don't come to see how 'lifelike' I look in a casket.



2. If you didn't cry with me when I was alive, don't get your tears all over my casket now either, face it, you ain't gonna miss me that much.



3. If you didn't send me flowers before, don't send them now. Addendum to this rule, if you didn't send flowers because your a guy and its just creepy to send another guy flowers, I would agree with you, but what I am saying is that its still creepy so thanks but no thanks. My friends and I exchange things in life besides flowers, if we ever bought each other a beer, bring a Hudy to the funeral and that would be fine. Some of us guys randomly gift things to each other like knives, magazines, head blades, baseball cards, etc etc... I wont be needing to shave or gut a fish while napping until judgement day so just being there to give me a parting high five will be sufficient.



4. Don't send sympathy cards, just don't. Stop by and spend some time with whatever family I leave behind, help them out, be with them, but don't send the card, please.



5. Lastly, I would like to ask any and all whom might attend my last day in flesh above ground to keep this in mind. I would like to think that I am not dead, but just asleep and waiting to hear the words, " well done my good and faithful servant" With this in mind, I would like to not have to sleep thru too somber an event. I will be looking at my death as awaiting a victory celebration. In that vain, there is something that I have always wanted to experience. An odd cultural celebration of victory that takes place all over the NFL and NCAA football fields. That is correct, I have always wanted to be the victim of the Gatorade shower. Maybe, just maybe, one of my friends can dump a five gallon bucket of ice and Gatorade in my casket before it gets closed. It could start a new trend, who knows.

BUT, I digress. Moving on now...

The second issue with greeting cards is that we are brainwashed from a very young age to feel the need to send this devilish little paper products. Starting in pre-school, kids are encouraged to have their parents run out and get boxes of those goofy little Valentine cards so that they can pass them out to every kid in there class and have a few left over to pass out in the neighborhood. This is just one example of the indoctrination of our youth by the greeting card industry. Just think about it, have you ever really thought about why you send this things? You don't think about it, you just feel like your supposed to do it, don't you.

One last comment, I do sent the occasional card, not sure why, I just do. Mothers day and Fathers day come to mind here. When you pick a card, do you spend your time trying to find the one that says just the right thing, or are you more like me, and just try to find the one that doesn't say the wrong thing?

Wedge

I don't normally like to use news articles as post fodder, but this one caught my eye.


SALT LAKE CITY — It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected of breaking into a car. Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal Hospital, said she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he kept squirming away from her.
Morris eventually grabbed the man's boxer shorts and pulled. Salt Lake City police said she then put a headlock on the man until help could arrive.
The man was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of vehicle burglary, possession of stolen property and outstanding warrants.

Huffington Post...

Short list of items.

1. Kudos to Ms. Morris for being courageous and brave.
2. Kudos to Ms. Morris for being creative and stubborn.
3. Kudos to Ms. Morris for caring about others enough to help, it wasn't even her car.
4. Under no circumstances should anyone mess with Ms. Morris!!!
5. When addressing Ms. Morris one would be wise to say "yes Ma'am" and just agree with her.
6. If it is possible, one should avoid shaking hands with Ms. Morris. ( if she will chase down a guy trying to break into cars, an obvious down on his luck stranger, and then choose to put her hand down the back of his pants to grab his boxers, hmm, I think I would rather wave as opposed to going with the hand shake.)

Thank you for your service to humanity Ms. Morris, you are a true hero and good citizen. I would recommend you for a key to the city, not that a key is worth anything. You know Ms. Morris, if you wanted to, you could spin this episode into a little spare change. I bet you could make a pretty penny doing a couple of commercials. Oh, say, maybe a hand sanitizer commercial. Or maybe you could get a gig with Madge soaking your hand in some Palmolive.

Now a few words about the guy who got nabbed. How embarrassing must it be to walk into court knowing that everyone will hear the story of how a lady brought you to justice by yankin' your boxers from behind hard enough to stop your fleeing and end up with you in a head lock. If this guy ends up doing any time, I wonder what he will tell his cell mates? I can most assuredly assume he will not tell them the truth. I also have to wonder if this poor guy wasn't glad when the police arrived.

I am glad that this didn't take place someplace like Orange County California. If it had there would be no doubt that some lame loud mouth attorney would get involved and sue Ms. Morris for some civil rights violation. Something like separating the twins without their permission.

Third eye

Let me give you the background of this one first in hopes it makes some sense. Gracie, my 5 year old Chinese princess, was playing with her mom a while ago and they were making plans to cut off my skin tag while I slept. They were playing secret agent and trying to come up with a plan to sneak up on me and cut it off. ( I have a large skin tag under my right arm that Gracie calls "Jeepers sleeping bag". Jeeper is her imaginary friend who lives in my ear) Mom developed the code words, " it ain't easy bein' cheezy" to start the rouse. Well this went on for some time and still comes up once in a while. I decided that turn about was fair play and developed an issue of my own.

I was carrying Gracie around the house on my shoulders, piggy back style. Why, I don't know she just likes to do that. I walk around with her on my shoulders for a few minutes most days. The other day we were "wallering" as mom calls it. We were wallering around on the stairs behind the couch Angie sits at. Angie hollered at us to "stop that wallering". She did so without turning around to look at us. This was my golden opportunity.

Me: "Gracie, we need to behave, mom is watching us right now"

Gracie:" No she isn't, she is looking the other way"

Me:" Gracie, she is watching us with her third eye, the one she has in the back of her head"

Gracie:" She doesn't have three eyes, that's silly, ................ are you teasing me?"

Me:" No, I would never do that to you, she has an extra eye in the back of her head, all moms do. Its one of those things that moms get when they become a mom"

Gracie:" Do you have three eyes too? ( as she looks at the back of my bald head)"

Me:" No, of course not, I am not a mom, I am a dad"

Gracie:" She does not,,,,,,,,,, were is it?"

Me:" Right there, under her hair, in the back of her head"

(Gracie creeps up a little closer and tries to look)

Mom:" I SEE YOU"

(Gracie jumps back about two feet and trips landing into me sitting on the stairs. Giggling the whole time)

Me:"Gracie, I have an idea, why dont you poke mom in her third eye, we can sneak up on her, wont that be fun."

Gracie:" It aint easy bein' cheezy"

Me:" hop on my back again and we will sneak up on her"

( like a fat bald man with a giggling 5 year old on his shoulders could sneak up on anybody)

Gracie:" Okay, lets do it. The rooster crows at midnight"

Gracie hops up on my back and I sneak up as best as possible behind mom who is struggling not to laugh and watching all of this in the reflection of her laptop screen. I have Gracie bare foot in my hand and start to reach her big toe toward that third eye.

Mom:" I SEE YOU, LEAVE MY EYE ALONE"

Gracie:" AAAAAAAAAHHhh, stop it, I dont want to poke her in her eye"

Well, that's the background to the story of mom and her third eye, now for the part that just happened I wanted to share with you. Gracie was on my lap the other night and I was running my fingers through that nest on her head and I had an idea. One of those Grinch like terribly wonderful rotten ideas.

Me:" Gracie, hold still, let me look at this on the back of your head. HOLD still a second Gracie. Wow, Gracie, you have an eye bud back here. You know what that means? That means when you grow up your going to be a mom someday."

Gracie:" Is it open?"

Me:" No, its just a little bud, a little dark bump. Its kinda like with new born puppies, its there but you have to grow up a bunch before it will open and you can see out of it." ( Actually its probably a knot from where she whacked her head on the bathroom door knob)

Gracie:" Oh, where is it at? Where is it? Can I see it?"

Me:" Sure you can, go look in the mirror, its right here"

Gracie:" Where?"

Me:" Right there, feel that, its right there"

Gracie runs off to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Two problems I know of but she hasn't figured out yet. She can barely see anything in the bathroom mirror because its too tall for her, and she has not mastered the physics of needing two mirrors to see your backside. After she works diligently at trying to see it, including three trips up and down the steps.

Finally she proclaimed that she saw it.

" I see it, I see it"

Then she jumped on my lap and whispered to me,

" not really, but I feel it, can you show it to me later?"

I am going to get some serious mileage out of this one.

Oxymoronic bloviation

Okay, I am having a bad day. So, to try to deal with the stress of the day I found myself siting and thinking about the idiocy of how we do things in life. First off, why do banks charge you fees for overdrawing your account while your account is still empty? They already know you have no money so why do they do this? Well, I think the reason why is so that they can be assured to charge you even more fees because once you put money in your account to cover something you suddenly find you still have no money, and more fees. This is ridiculous as a business practice, but it is also common and accepted as normal. That is the part that struck me, when we hear and see things over and over again, they become normal. We stop putting any thought into the reality of what is happening or what is being said. In real life these things are usually not much fun, but when you look at the words we use, instead of life situations, then you start to find things that are fun, and entertaining.

I don't want to become a maleficent lexicographer but some words and phrases just become downright entertaining when you start to break them down.

First victim, I will use it in a sentence.

"I am hungry, lets go chow down."

Let us peruse and parse this phrase, specifically the chow down at the end of this sentence. You have read the sentence and if you are an English, or at least a speaker of Americanized English, you can surmise that this person wishes to sit someplace and have a bite to eat. You may even be able to interpret that they wish to do so relatively soon. If you read this sentence and came to this conclusion, the question I have for you is how exactly did you make that determination? Lets break this two word idiom down into its pieces and take a look at what the words mean shall we?

Chow-–noun -- food, esp. hearty dishes or a meal.

Down-from higher to lower; in descending direction or order

Now taking what the two words mean it becomes a little less obvious what is being said. Read the sentence again like this.

" I am hungry, lets go 'move a hearty meal from a higher to lower position'"

That just doesn't convey the same information as the first read now does it. How exactly do we add these other meanings to words we use? Maybe it makes sense if you consider looking at the opposites. It really is illogical to use the word "down" to discuss food or eating because the two have nothing to do with each other. Down is a direction, lets look at its antitheses, which would be the word "up".

Now it all makes sense to me.

Up-to, toward, or in a more elevated position

What exactly does this have to do with food? Nothing unless you add another word just as was done with down. In the case of down the word chow was placed in front of it, with the word up, you just add the word chuck behind it. Let us explore the word chuck.

chuck-to toss; throw with a quick motion, usually a short distance

When combined you now have the definition of the opposite of chow down which would be upchuck.

upchuck- eject the contents of the stomach through the mouth

Now it all seems logical, up is the opposite of down, upchuck is the opposite of chow down.


(Having a bad day, can you tell?)

10 things

This is going to be a list of 10 fun things that I try to do everyday.

1. Gracie, my Hunan hurricane, is Chinese and therefore has very Chinese eyes. When she laughs those eyes become so closed and narrow as to make it impossible for her to see while she is laughing. I try to make my daughter go blind for at least 5 minutes each and every day.
2. I try to encourage at least one person each day. Sometimes its Angie and sometimes its Gracie. Sometimes its a waitress and sometimes its the lady, girl, women, at the check out counter at the grocery. Sometimes its a neighbor and sometimes its a friend from church. I usually (but not always) encourage females, so I sometimes get accused of flirting, but even then its called harmless flirting.
3. Every day I try to go to bed tired. If I am not tired then I have not put forth enough effort for the day. I am almost always tired so I must be doing a good job at this one.
4. (This one is a guy thing, so ladies please look away) Everyday I change my boxer shorts. I know, your thinking 'well I should hope so'. But, this is a list of fun things I do everyday so what is fun about changing your shorts? Well, I hate to pick stuff up off the floor, so I hang my foot in them and try to toss them up and catch them with one hand without letting them hit the floor. I am easily entertained I suppose. (if that visual didn't disturb you too much you can keep reading, ladies are welcome to come back now)
5. Everyday I try and learn a new word or a new phrase. A good friend and Nissan car salesman extraordinaire taught me a new phrase just this weekend. " I just piss excellence" was the phrase. (tongue in cheek of course) I like that one. As an aside, my dog Bo "craps rainbows" (Verb chosen to keep blog youngster friendly, please feel free to use your own verb in situations filled with drunken sailors) Why would I mention this? Bo ate a bunch of crayons the other day and has been leaving little rainbows around the yard ( and in the living room upon occasion) I am glad crayons are non-toxic, but I wish they were a little more digestible.
6. Everyday I try to ask Gracie about her day. This is usually a fun time for both of us, but sometimes its just downright confusing. I so wish I could crawl in her head and see things like she sees them, if only for a moment.
7. Everyday I try to smile at a stranger. This is always fun. The reaction you get from being pleasant and nice to people always has its reward.
8. Everyday I try to get at least a few minutes sleep on the way into work. Why is this fun? Because I am driving!!
9. Everyday I spend a minute trying to choose the obnoxiously colored boxers that most fit my mood that morning. ( two mentions of boxer shorts and one mention of poop in a single post, this is going downhill fast, glad there is only one more to go.)
10. Everyday I spend a few minutes just staring at my wife and daughter and thinking about how blessed I am and how lucky I am to have them both in my life.

Church crisis, white flag

Well, the time has come. Our church, Crosspointe Community Church, LCMS, has come to the end of the line. As many of you know, there has been an ongoing and bloody battle being waged to keep our church. Crosspointe was sued by our lender, which just happened to be the financial arm of the larger church body, and was foreclosed upon. The property went to Sheriff's auction and was purchased at a fraction of its worth by the above mentioned lender. The lender, ODLCEF, has denied Crosspointe several opportunities to pay what it was owed, even when we had the money they took steps to make it impossible for us to keep our building. We made arrangements to sell off 9 or so acres of land and pay what was due, they put a lien on to prevent that sale, we arranged for a new lender and offered to pay in full what money had been put out, including fees and late charges, but we were denied that opportunity as well. We were told we had 30 days to pay in full, and in less than 18 days the ODLCEF took possession of the clear title and left us out of the loop. We upped the ante and offered to pay not only what was owed, but what they had spent as well and we were told no again. Their behaviour has been completely un-brotherly through this entire ordeal.

BUT>>>>>>>>>>

Let us look at scripture for a moment. The above account, accurate as I understand it, is akin to pointing at the splinter in their eye and ignoring the plank in our own. We failed to be good stewards and stay up with the payments. We failed to stay within our means. We may have done so with good intentions, just as the servant who buried his coin, but we failed none the less.

There was a meeting after church this past Sunday in which we discussed our future options. Nothing is going to kill us. We have already lost the building, and the property. There have been many casualties of this conflict, many families have moved on. Those of us still remaining, however, look at the church as a gathering of brothers and sisters, not a building or a place. Many of these beleaguered warriors are angry. There are those who want to hold a referendum and leave the LCMS. There are those who want to counter sue because it is clear, and its also illegal, to deliberately force a foreclosure in order to gain profit. There are those who are just tired of the blood letting and just want to move on. The major purpose of this meeting was just to discuss that fact that regardless of anything else, we need to concentrate on doing ministry. We are looking at renting a smaller space, or maybe sharing space with another congregation. We are looking at moving all the stuff into storage etc. But, the families that are in this together are in it as brethren. We understand that we make up the Body, it has nothing to do with the building, the amenities, etc. These tools are useful, but Praise, Worship, and Fellowship are the core to ministry, not square footage and acreage. We may get treated like the hairy earlobe of the Body, but we are the Body none the less.

A few of us, myself included, may have gained a new understanding of Peter in all of this. I have said in the past things like, "we are more than conquerors" and "if God is with us, who can stand against us" Well, after being conquered and knocked down at this point maybe its time to assume that God wasn't with us in this. Does that make us bad people, no of course not. Does that make us evil or even wrong for fighting the battle, no not really. This might get a little convoluted so hang with me for a minute.

First, Ephesians tells us to take up arms against our enemies. It defines the Sword as the Word, and goes on to warn us to pick up the shield to guard against the flaming arrows of the enemy. In this light we were called to fight.

Earlier in Ephesians we are told we are created to do good works in Him. Hmm, good works and sword wielding may not be exactly the same thing.

We are told it is okay to get angry and fight, Jesus got rather angry at those in the temple when he tossed over their tables and smashed up their stuff. Jesus also told us to turn the other cheek.

I think we reacted like Peter when the Romans came due to the betrayal. Peter knew things were wrong and reacted ready to fight and die with and for his friend Jesus. I think Crosspointe reacted in a similar way, we jumped up and started loping off ears, but we didn't have Jesus standing in front of us to tell us that this was not the time to fight. Jesus knew Gods plan and that Peter getting into a battle with the Romans would not be productive. We don't know Gods plan for us at Crosspointe but it has become clear that He doesn't want us to stay put. So, we will not stay put, we will most likely change our name and move on. We will most likely stay with the LCMS and move on. We will most likely not counter sue and move on. Why will we not counter sue? I think the scripture that I would chose to apply is this.

We have been asked for our shirt, we should provide our cloak as well.

Well enough of the bad and tiring news. The good news is this. God still has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. I look forward to being able to look back and say, "oh, that was the plan all along" We can move forward from here, we can worship from here, we can praise from here, and we can minister from here, even if here is in the streets.

It is at this time that we must prayerfully attempt to discern Gods will and get in line behind Him as his servants instead of trying to be out in front of Him as His warriors. It is time to stop casting stones and go back to ministry. It is time to understand as Peter came to, there is a battle, but now is not the time. The Romans have carried off over a million in real property and left us penny less and lost, but, we must just let Him deal with the Romans, and with Judas, and we must get on with the business of sharing the Good News.