Wedge

I don't normally like to use news articles as post fodder, but this one caught my eye.


SALT LAKE CITY — It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected of breaking into a car. Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal Hospital, said she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he kept squirming away from her.
Morris eventually grabbed the man's boxer shorts and pulled. Salt Lake City police said she then put a headlock on the man until help could arrive.
The man was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of vehicle burglary, possession of stolen property and outstanding warrants.

Huffington Post...

Short list of items.

1. Kudos to Ms. Morris for being courageous and brave.
2. Kudos to Ms. Morris for being creative and stubborn.
3. Kudos to Ms. Morris for caring about others enough to help, it wasn't even her car.
4. Under no circumstances should anyone mess with Ms. Morris!!!
5. When addressing Ms. Morris one would be wise to say "yes Ma'am" and just agree with her.
6. If it is possible, one should avoid shaking hands with Ms. Morris. ( if she will chase down a guy trying to break into cars, an obvious down on his luck stranger, and then choose to put her hand down the back of his pants to grab his boxers, hmm, I think I would rather wave as opposed to going with the hand shake.)

Thank you for your service to humanity Ms. Morris, you are a true hero and good citizen. I would recommend you for a key to the city, not that a key is worth anything. You know Ms. Morris, if you wanted to, you could spin this episode into a little spare change. I bet you could make a pretty penny doing a couple of commercials. Oh, say, maybe a hand sanitizer commercial. Or maybe you could get a gig with Madge soaking your hand in some Palmolive.

Now a few words about the guy who got nabbed. How embarrassing must it be to walk into court knowing that everyone will hear the story of how a lady brought you to justice by yankin' your boxers from behind hard enough to stop your fleeing and end up with you in a head lock. If this guy ends up doing any time, I wonder what he will tell his cell mates? I can most assuredly assume he will not tell them the truth. I also have to wonder if this poor guy wasn't glad when the police arrived.

I am glad that this didn't take place someplace like Orange County California. If it had there would be no doubt that some lame loud mouth attorney would get involved and sue Ms. Morris for some civil rights violation. Something like separating the twins without their permission.