Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Generational Degeneration



L.A. OKs moratorium on fast-food restaurants

“Cheap, unhealthy food and lack of access to healthy food is a recipe for obesity,” Brownell said. “Diets improve when healthy food establishments enter these neighborhoods.”

“They should open more healthy places,” Dorothy Meighan said outside a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet. “There’s too much fried stuff.”
Councilwoman Jan Perry said that view repeatedly surfaced at the five community meetings she held during the past two years. Residents are tired of fast food, and many don’t have cars to drive to places with other choices, she said.
Los Angeles’ ban comes at a time when governments of all levels are increasingly viewing menus as a matter of public health. On Friday, California became the first state in the nation to bar trans fats, which lower levels of good cholesterol and increase bad cholesterol.

This is just two quotes from the article that is listed above. Please feel free to read the entire article as posted on MSNBC.
I would like to just take a minute and weigh in on this issue. (pun intended) I am a man of some girth as most of you know. I have been successful in losing about 10lbs since I started my most recent diet a month or two ago, so I am speaking as a person who could shed more than a few more pounds, as well as a person who eats a terrible diet. If I lived in LA, I would now have reason to move, or defect as the case may be. This is well outside the bounds of what a city should have the ability to regulate, at least for the reason they are regulating it. If they ban fast food restaurants from a historic district, or an upscale neighborhood, I might not agree with the practice, but it would be within their legal ability to do so. To ban trans-fats and fast food establishments because the population is too fat, that is beyond their job description. It is also beyond any sense of logic because it wont work.
I am fat.........
I am not fat because of evil restaurants who serve fatty, high cholesterol foods.

I am not fat because of some conspiracy to make me so.
I am not fat because of my government permits me too much freedom and allows me to make too many of my own choices.
I am fat because I am lazy. Period.
Now, to the topic at hand, why is obesity such an issue in LA? Well, lets just go all the way and say why are we as Americans by and large a bunch of lard butts. I already gave you a clue. I am lazy, my bet is they are lazy too.

To illustrate my point I will pick one group of people to use as my case in point. That group of people would be the moms. All the problems of this country can be simply explained by the generational degeneration of the work of moms. Its all moms fault in other words. Obesity of the population is no exception. What makes me think that? Well lets run through the stereo types of moms for the last 4 or 5 generations and how they fed the family.

My mom, the microwave society and the working woman.
My mom is the generation who first fell in love with the microwave. It took cooking to a whole new high in low. The classic TV dinner now didn't require heating up the oven or burning your fingers on the aluminum foil trying to get the thing open. Just toss a frozen pizza (99 cents from the local grocer) and 90 seconds later you have food (or something like it) This is also the generation who caused the mass influx of the drive thru. Women on their way home from work could pick up dinner for the family, in Styrofoam containers no less. The last nail in this coffin is that it is this generation who brought cola to the forefront. Its packaged in every imaginable size shape and flavor. We don't make drinks anymore, we buy tea in a jar, and we drink gazillions of gallons of Pepsi and Coke a year. All this stuff really consists of is sugar water and some artificial colors and flavors.

My Grandma, women take on a bigger roll, need more convenience.


My grandma was a depression era child. She knew about being hungry and made sure her family was fed and wouldn't know hunger. She was a mom when women started taking on a bigger roll outside the home and needed some conveniences to save some time. Her generation is were processed foods began and therefore a larger number of grocery stores with more and more stuff on the shelves. Items like hamburger helper, Manwich, etc. are the inventions that filled the need of this generation. Grandma could make a mean cake from scratch, but she usually didn't have time, so Duncan Hines to the rescue. The other upshot from this is that because she was depression era, she was a food hoarder. She could buy, and would buy, lots of canned goods and store them for later. Her basement looked like what a mini mart looks today, a few cans or boxes of just about everything. Then you have the staples, bags and bags of flour and sugar, rows and rows of saltines, gallon upon gallon of Talawanda distilled water.





Great Grandma, the age of self reliance.

Great Grandma was what we would call old school. She had a gas stove that almost never got used because she was happier and more used to the wood burner. Her kitchen had both but the only time the gas got used was in the summer when it was already 100 degrees in the kitchen. The nearest grocery store was about an hour away so this was an event and a day trip. Most things she needed she either had on the farm or could get at the market anyway. If she wanted to fix breakfast she just had to move a chicken. She wanted corn, just a trip to the field. She wanted a cake she needed to move the chicken and go to the field. They grew or made almost everything on their own. Sunday dinner started Saturday night with Grandma picking the greens, picking the beans, picking the corn, and pulling down a lump of cured meat out of the smokehouse. Cooking could then begin, and finish up right after church on Sunday. She wanted noodles, first she made the dough, rolled it out and then sliced it up.













Let me break it down this way for you, a little simpler.






  • Great Grandma got up early and hit the field, the barn and the coup, spent all day preparing three meals from scratch. Making her own corn meal and flour, using her own lard to fry, cooking over wood that Grandpa cut. Now remember those critter she was using, like the chickens, they needed fed too. So, all day was spent working towards the goal of a home and 3 meals. She then went to bed late, tired, and well fed.
  • Grandma got up early and cleaned the house, worked on the family finances, ran her errands, cooked three meals a day using some shortcuts her mother didn't have but still spent the majority of the day caring for the family and the home.
  • Mom got up when necessary, and presented a Hungry Man dinner for the evening meal. The other two meals, the family was on its own.

  • The current generation is eating in the car, while talking on the phone and driving their kids to soccer practice.

Meals have gone from the point of the day and a shared time of rest and rejuvenation, to an after though and inconvenient reality. This nation is fat because we lost something from generation to generation. If I had to harvest my own food, and or hunt and kill it, I would be skinny. I don't because I am lazy. I therefore am fat because I am lazy.

Its the fault of mothers everywhere. Lets ask LA to ban mothers, I think it would work just as well.

Monday, July 28, 2008

New product release

Normal Chaos Productions has retained the service of Billy Mays to represent the our newest offering to the public. We have chosen him because he has a well established reputation with other cleaning and chemical products. Just listen as Normal Chaos offers its newest product to you first, because your special like that.

:::::::::::: Pay attention pet owners, I have what you have been looking for. What is your least favorite pet related chore? That thing you look forward to the least as it is associated with the maintenance of your pet. Whether you have a dog or a cat, a horse, a cow or a moose, or even a mouse, the most dreaded part of caring for our furry loved ones is the need for excavating the excrement, picking up the poo, shoveling the snicker doodles, cleaning up the cluster bombs. We all hate cleaning up after our pets. It doesn't matter if your pet leaves you love lumps in its cage, yard bombs in the back yard, or brown lava slides in your barn, we must clean it up and we all just hate it. Even the responsible pet owner who pick up fluffy's solid flatulence off the sidewalk does so with a little bit of embarrassment and a lot of nasal dread.

Well, no more, thanks to the wonderful, and good looking, people at Normal Chaos. They have developed a solution for you, the pet owner. No more picking up the paddy with a plastic bag and hoping the neighbors arent looking, no more shoveling the sheep dip, or scooping up the yard bombs. I would like to introduce to you the new spray on yard sanitizer, DO-B-DUN. DO-B-DUN is a fast acting chemical decompositor that will render any pile of poo not only odorless and colorless, but mass less as well. Thats right, one quick spritz from our convenient 12oz trigger sprayer is enough to make a St. Bernard's left behinds vanish entirely. Its almost like magic, but it doesn't really disappear, it decomposes into fine dust and wisps itself away. No more stooping for scooping, just pull the trigger and DO-B-DUN will blast away the offending material in just seconds. We have created this product in several convenient sizes, 12oz for dogs, cats, ferrets, gerbils, mice, etc. 24oz for large breed dogs, 36oz for horses and sheep, and 48 oz for cows, moose or other large animals. You ever go camping? It works on your poo too!!! Too good to be true I know.

This product is not available in stores, it is only available by calling 1-900-012-NCPP, again that number is 1-900-012-NCPP. Call today and make your life easier, and smell better.

Legal disclaimer, this product is not intended for use around children, animals, plants, water, or anything else you value.
Active ingredients are Napalm, sulfuric acid, witch hazel, black powder, and snake spit. Please follow instructions closely and do not let come in contact with eyes or skin or clothes. Please store at least 1000 ft from your place of residence except in the case of the 48oz bottle in which case you should store it below ground in a different zip code. Made from 100% recycled materials (Vietnam era military scrap) so we being conscientiously green.

Order now and we will throw in free shipping...::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Advertizing



I would like to earn a little extra cash, I mean, who wouldn't. In order to do this I would need to find another avenue of income. I have thought about placing advertisements on my blog. The kind that pay per hit and per view and per out click. With my current base of faithful readers and the plethora of hits I get from the words "goodbye gift", 'Fernando", and "poop in my butt" (Yes I am serious) I could earn something on the order of $11.18 per year. I am looking for a little more than that, so, I have decided that rather than marketing my blog, I would market some product. So I have researched some top quality items and top quality advertisers and come up with a plan. First, let me remind you of the folks I am going to use as my mentors.




Number one, Shamwow. You know the stuff, it will suck the moisture out of a desert cactus from ten feet away. You can remind yourself of this dudes annoying voice at http://www.shamwow.com/ if you have interest. Made in Germany, cause as we all know, Germans make good stuff. He is getting people to pay $20 for something you can get at Autozone for $2.00. Genius.




Next we have, Ronco Presents. I love that Rotisserie thing he sells. You can take a frozen solid 20Lb turkey and cook it in this space age designed (we have been is space since 1960 something last time I looked it up) convection cooking marvel in like 8 minutes. This thing also gets so hot you can plop a can of dinty more on top of the thing and bring it to a boil in 2 minutes flat.




Next, K-tel records. You can buy an entire collection of stuff you didnt want to hear the first time all on one lp. (what ever happened to vinyl anyway)




Next, Earl Shive, "I'll paint any car any color for $99.95, in by nine out by five, and for the next three days only, free rust proofing" Man knows how to sell a service, know what I mean. Never mind he used watercolors and he painted the tires too, but what do want for less than a sawbuck in less than a day.




I then discovered that I needed big time brains to help me, I needed a name, and I needed an incredibly fad, hot product. So, here is what I came up with.




Normal Chaos productions presents.




Creative, yet powerfully simplistic and easy to remember.




Next the pitch, hold on and read this till the end.




Oh, before I forget the legal issues that might get me sued, first PSA, drinks aside, and then look up the word spoof before continuing.




"Ladies and Gents, Normal Chaos has been working to bring you a fantastic new product that will just stun and amaze you. We here at Chaos central have finally, finally worked out an arrangement with the head engineers at Apple, you know the folks who brought you that incredibility hot new product, the iPhone and the lead magician at Nintendo, the very guy who came up with the hottest new game control on the market, the Wii. Through our diligent efforts and skunk works project management style, we are able to offer, for a limited time only, the hottest newest tech gadget on the market. The initial offering of this product will be made at designated distributors only. We will announce the location of these outlets only 24 hours before the product is released as to minimize the crowds, camping out and other potentially problematic situations.




That's right folks, the incredible new phone and game controller in one.




iwii2




that's right




iwii2




say it out loud, it has a wonderful ring to it. I combines on the things you love about the iPhone and the Wii in one handy little piece of tech wizardry. What can it do you ask? Well the touch pad technology works just the same as one your OLD iPhone, but, if you want to use the upgraded features you can do things like this. If your sitting in the living room looking at some pictures you took on your phone and you wish that they were just a little bigger, then just reach your arm back and throw the phone (don't let go, its a wii too) and the picture will throw itself onto you television. Want to call the person in the picture, just point the phone at a picture of who you want to call and flick your wrist, its dialing. You can even call someone and both of you use your iwii2 controllers to talk and play the same video game at the same time, up to 4 people can compete via conference call.




As a specially selected VIP you will also receive this wonderful gift. I will allow you to pre-buy your iwii2. Just send $199.95 to Normal Chaos Productions Presents, 4444 Oak Street, Burbank California, or call, 1-900-012-NCPP and ask for VIP treatment. If you call within the next 5 seconds I will even include a free set of Ginsu knives, just for being who you are. I will give you my personal guarantee, if you don't love the iwii2 you can send it back.




Shipping and handling extra, not valid in Utah or Michigan, allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery."




Thursday, July 24, 2008

#*%%(@@%^%&



First week back after a working vacation:


Yep, been that kind of week so far.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Gracie goes to the dentist

It would seem that in order to be admitted to kindergarten you must know your colors, identify some shapes, recognize the letters, be able to write your name and have your shots, as well as a form from the dentist to state that you have been there. Who knew?


Gracie had her first dental appointment this week, and as you might guess it was not without its little adventures. First, momma, in her wisdom, (Hold back the sarcastic laughter here) thought it would be a good and efficient idea to schedule herself and Gracie at the same time. No, this didn't work, Gracie wants momma, and only momma, when things are uncertain. If she needs protected from the bug, bird, storm, dog, etc, its daddy, but if its drama or trauma, its momma. (hey, did anybody else noticed that rhymed? that was an accident!!) So, momma sits in the chair with Gracie in her lap to make it through her first cleaning. The hygienist was great with Gracie and walked her through everything and let her help with stuff along the way. The helping thing was great for little miss independent, Gracie thought that was big stuff. She was introduced to Mr. Thirsty ( that little suction thing that gets the goo out of your mouth) as well as the Flossasoris. Flossasoris, or Flossy, is a big purple dinosaur puppet with big (human) false teeth sown in so kids can see what will happening before it does. With the effort and talent of the staff, things went well.


After Gracie was finished it was momma's turn. Gracie had to leave the room so momma could get x-rays done. She didn't like this too much as she wanted to stay and watch momma. She was still a bit unsure of her surroundings so she still wanted to be glued to momma. With the help of another staff member, and Flossy, we made it out to the hallway. The staff member helped me and Gracie play with Flossy, floss its teeth, brush its teeth, check for cavities, etc. etc. etc. After about 10 minutes of this the staff member turned Flossy over to me to operate and we continued to play. After some time Gracie kept making the game more and more elaborate. She added putting pretend toothpaste on Flossy's brush as well as taking the tongue in and out to clean under it. (it was velcro-ed in place) At one point she decided Flossy needed to lay down like she had to so Gracie could get a better angle to floss. (this is when kids knowing the 'right' words for things can be an issue) So, daddy, following Gracie's instructions, pulls his hand out of Flossy's back and lays Flossy down. I then turn my arm over and return it to Flossy's back and with some effort I can move Flossy's mouth. This is a bit awkward and the odd angle of having Flossy in this position tends to make Flossy's legs rise in the air and expose Flossy's bottom. Gracie still cant reach to floss Flossy the way she wants to so she chastises daddy for creating this issue with the following loud and giggling statement.


"No, daddy, don't be silly. I want to floss Flossy's teeth, not her VAGINA"


Silly daddy, I should have known better. Silly daddy, it never even occurred to me that Flossy was a girl.


I manage to survive this and move on. Gracie moves on as well with a little quick and professional daddy diversion technique. Then Gracie gets to go use Mr. Thirsty to get the goo out of momma's mouth as momma is almost done.


Progress

I have not been posting since returning from St. Louis because I have been in the middle of one of those working vacations. I have been finishing my basement. The man cave will eventually be un-cave like and actually look like a room. It will have walls, a drywall ceiling, can lights, a bar, built in desk, built in bookshelves, a sink, a tanning bed and three cool closets. One closet to hide the mechanics and under stair storage, one to hide the sump pump, and one to act as a laundry room. Angie wanted to have a beach cottage room and I wanted an oriental room. We needed to compromise so. ...............We are going to (eventually) paint the room a light yellow and have white wainscoting and white trim with a little bit of light blue accents. We are going to have two large built in bookshelves and several cabinets and a bar with a sink. We will need to put a sectional sofa and stools down there that will most likely either be blue or some other beach-like color. The built in desk will be about 2 foot by 4 foot and painted white, I think. The closet that creates the laundry room will have the appearance of a shoji screen. So the compromise, if your curious is that I get a closet door, 8 square feet for my desk, and a blue and white vase in the corner with oriental print on it. I have the feeling that once the TV gets hung on the wall the man cave will have been completely transformed into the estrogen Estuary.

I made progress on the room this week. I got all the walls framed out and one of the three closets built. Due to the slow progress and enormity of the size of this project I called a contractor to give me an estimate on some of the work. He took 5 days to tell me it would run $6800. OUCH, cant do that. I have to have most of the electric done for me because I don't want to die. I have to have all of the plumbing done for me because I want a room, not a pond. Beach like does not include surf indoors. I am exploring options on the electric, some of it I can run and just have it attached to the hot end and ask a friend for help with that. The plumbing bill would only be about $500 and I can just pay for that. The $4400 for framing out ceiling and hanging drywall on ceiling and walls, well, I guess I will just have to suck it up and do that myself. Have I ever hung drywall before, no. Have I ever hung a ceiling before, uh, no. Have I ever built a bar, a desk or a bookshelf before, no, nope, nyet. But, I will stay at a Holiday Inn Express before I start on this part of the project, so it should be fine.

Gracie has had a full week, lots of time out with mom, lots of time out with dad, you would think she would be tired, but oh no, she has been up late every night. She has been chatting about her friend Grace Bean off and on. She has also been chatting about death alot, again. What if mommy and daddy die, will you leave me. Gotta love questions like that. When I die, can I take my 'B' (blanket) with me? Did I worry about this stuff when I was 4? No, I think I was already planning my escape to run away and live with Grandma and Grandpa when I was 4.

Gracie also has a new prize. She has her very own, fully functional, Dora the Explorer digital camera. It takes 70 pictures that you can download onto your computer and then it starts all over. She was taking pictures of her parents, the dog, the fly, the backyard, my nose, mom's shoes, whatever she could find. She has also found she loves making crafts.

Glitter glue is of the devil..................................

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Home sweet home












We are home, and first things first, thank you to mom of 3, for letting the 3 take care of Bo while we were away. Bo was very happy to see us and is sleeping with Gracie and momma on the couch right now.



The trip home was reasonably uneventful. Seven or so hours of driving and only two small detours. One 14 mile stretch of construction, 2 cans of Pringles, one bag of M&M's, 4 Cokes, 5 Diet Cokes, 5 rest areas, 1 gas station, 1 McDonald's, 1 Wendy's, 2 Bottles of water, 1 Mountain Dew, half a can of Skoal, 1 Juice Box, and 3 DVD's later we have made our 416 mile journey back home. Almost forgot, half a box of Tic Tacs and 2 pieces of gum were also consumed en route.




Driving bare foot is kinda weird, but this is the first time I have done it for any distance and I kinda liked it.




Anyway, enough of the nonsense, this post is about pictures. I want to share some pics of the event but most importantly I want to show you some pictures of Grace Bean. I have never had permission to post pictures of one of the Hunan 'sisters' before so I have been looking forward to sharing this with you. I think Gracie is beautiful, always have and always will, but, all of the Hunan girls have a stunning beauty to them in my opinion. Each one has a story, but that is not mine to tell, I would just like to thank our friends and her parents for this wonderful weekend and point out again how much it means to Gracie and us to get them together. The reunion was great, but I would have done the 800 miles round trip just to get G squared together for a few hours. It is worth it. If I would just stop talking and show you the pictures I am sure you will see what I mean.



Introducing G Squared, look at the love and orneriness in those faces!!!!!!!!!






These are bored faces..................


This face is tired, but she hits a second (or third, or fourth) wind here shortly and powers on for another 6 hours. This is the before dinner face, she played hard till, during and after dinner as well.


Saturday, July 12, 2008

A big day.

As usual, God did not disappoint. Today turned out to be a huge day. Gracie was going full bore and was supercharged from 6AM this morning till about 10 minutes ago. We just got back to our room and she got 'jamm-E-d up' laid down in bed and was gone in 30 seconds flat. She had a blast at the reunion with all the kids and stuff they had for them, but the highlight was the time she got to spend with her 'sister' Grace Bean. Once they got past the initial warming up period, they took off and acted like they do this everyday.

The reunion was awesome as usual. They had a demonstration of dancing from several different cultures as well as Thai Chi (SP?) and Kung Fu. The girls they had doing these demonstrations were all young ladies of Oriental heritage in traditional dress for their event, it was awesome to watch. There were kids there from Columbia, Vietnam, Ethiopia, Kazakhstan, Russia, Guatemala, and of course China. They also had two teen aged boys doing a traditional dragon dance with a huge white Chinese dragon and a group of kids playing drums and cymbals for the dragon to dance to. I thought it was awesome, Gracie didnt much care for it.

After lunch and a good time at the reunion we were invited to go hang out with Grace Bean and her parents at their home. Gracie and Grace went 100 miles an hour for the next several hours. They were running and playing and squealing and sweating and panting for air. It was amazing to just breath in their excitement, acceptance, and love of one another. God provided a little of Himself in this day.

We continued our evening by going out to diner with them and the Graces (or G squared) had to sit with one another at dinner. Momma (AKA the manners Nazi) even let up a bit and let them go have fun tonight. They had such a time that they were hugging each other over and over again, no fighting, no bickering, no problems, no issues, nothing but love was available tonight. When it was done, they hugged more, and kissed a lot, Gracie hugged and kissed everybody, I even got hugs and kisses from Grace. G squared is something that must be seen to be believed. I have many pictures of G squared and the reunion to share with you and I will do so as soon as I get home and can get them off the camera. I even have permission from Grace's mom to share pics of her, so this will be the first Hunan 'sister' that gets to be shared with you.

I too am tired, I think I will go join boogs in bed and thank God for the fullness of the day.

morning

Well it is 6AM and boogs (Gracie) has gotten me out of bed. Grumpy is still sleeping, or at least she is still in bed. Grace is coloring quietly in the floor, for now.

The big day begins, shortly.

The sky is beautiful this morning and thanks to Gracie I got to see the Sunrise. Today will be a wonderful, tiring, and emotionally supercharged day. Not to mention a stinkin' hot day, St. Louis is always hot and humid this time of year.

Let us go forth and see what God has planned today.

Friday, July 11, 2008

St. Louis

We have arrived, in more ways then one praise God.

We are in St. Louis for the weekend. It is the annual Children's Hope Reunion. We try to make it out here for the weekend for a couple of different reasons. First off, we do our best to stay in touch with the other families who we went through the adoption process with. A total of 10 families stayed together for the entire trip. We came from all over the country and found our way to Beijing. From there we were together to Changsha, the capital city of the Hunan Province and together still for a nice stay in Guangzhou, We have a bit of an emotional bond from this shared adventure and most of our little princesses were at the same orphanage. We call them 'sisters' and we come here each year in hopes of visiting with Gracie's sisters. Normally we have a gathering as guests of one of the families who lives here on Chinese New Year. This usually draws about 7 of the 10 families. This event was not possible this year so we thought it was important to make the CHI reunion to visit with one of the sisters this year anyway. Gracie talks about her sisters quite a bit and it will be really nice for Gracie and Grace Bean to see each other.

About the event. The adoption agency, Children's Hope International, holds a reunion in the city of their headquarters. People from all over come into town for the weekend. Several hundred internationally adopted children, and their families, get together to break bread and just experience each others company for a while. Angie refers to it as the Mini U.N. meeting, because there are kids from all over the globe hanging out together. It is a difficult visual for people to imagine, so I will try to get some relevant photo's tomorrow and post them when I get home.

About the trip, something around 7 hours for me driving a small car with my wife next to me and my daughter behind me has the makings of a post all its own. For now I will just say, we are here, and we are all alive, some of us are happier than others, but life goes on.

More to follow................

Thursday, July 10, 2008

School House Rock














Thanks to Digger I have been taking a trip down memory lane the last day or two. I have been thinking about those things that were either unique or prevalent during the years of my generation.

I also have a pet peeve with today's teenagers. Either I have grown too old (entirely possible) to be able to understand and relate to teens, or kids get dumber with every generation. Half the teens I know are slow as molasses and thick as a fence post. Like my father in law used to say, "too dumb to pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel". I have often wondered why this is the case. I have discovered the cause, I now know the culprit, it is all so clear to me now. Is it lack of parenting skills and the dismemberment of the family unit? NO. Is it the collapse of the public school system and degeneration of public values decade by decade? NOPE. Could it be the influence of video games and the dehumanization and desensitization of people caused by the constant barrage of violence and porn? NOT IT. Could it be a genetic disorder caused by too much pesticide in our diets from generation to generation? Valid point, but NO.

Teens don't know anything about their government, their history, or their language because they have been deprived of School House Rock. This is how we learned all of the things we needed to know and how we got through middle school and high school and even into college. We were smarter than our parents and we became more productive as a generation than our parents so logic only leaves the lack of educational Saturday morning cartoons. We could learn anything from these toons, history , government, parts of speech, even proper diet. This is what is wrong with teens these days. Its not the schools, the parents or the government that have failed them. The culprit is poor choices by network television executives.

I feel better knowing its not the teens fault, and now I know who to blame.



Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Pirated a post from Digger

I just played pirate and copied this list from my friend Digger. ( http://www.diggersnew.blogspot.com/ )

It was so funny that I had no choice. He got if from Mikies Funnies which you can access through his blog. I took the list from him to share with you, and of course I will add my own commentary and experience to the list as you go. I will attempt to put my add ons in RED to keep them separate from the original text.

YOU'RE LOST BETWEEN "BABY BOOMER" AND "GENERATION X" IF...

  • 1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool. Yes I do, never had Jordache but I remember the look of the backside of the jeans quite well, and I remember the comb, I even remember when I had hair.
  • 2. Any photograph of you shows you wearing an Izod shirt with the collar turned up. I wouldn't afford Izod, but I had a plethora of the K-Mart knock offs.
  • 3. You know any "Weird Al" Yankovic songs by heart. MY Bologna
  • 4. You've ever rung someones doorbell and said "Landshark!" Oh yeaaah.
  • 5. You were once bowled over by the technological excellence of such products as Atari, IntelliVision, TelStar and Coleco. Missile command on Atari was just addictive. Also in the computer world, Going from a Commodore 64 to a 128 was a light year leap forward in technological excellence. Now my phone has more memory.
  • 6. You remember the premier of MTV--or worse yet, you remember its predecessor, "Friday Night Videos." "Video killed the Radio Star"
  • 7. You and your friends ever discussed having a reunion at the end of the century and playing Prince's "1999." Discussed it, did it, I think, hard to remember.
  • 8. A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid. Plaid shirts, corduroy pants (whistle britches) patches on the elbows and knees, how stylish that was, high waters even.
  • 9. You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was alternative, and when "alternative comedy" was really funny. Sorta, I think "big lizard in my backyard" was alternative.
  • 10. You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan. 1972 Chevy Impala, nine foot hood and room from 12 close friends.
  • 11. (Related to #10) You rode in the back of the station wagon facing the cars behind you. Nope,
  • 12. You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: "You know, back when...," "When I was your age...," or "When I was younger..." "back when I was still in shape" "Back in the day" "Back when people were still responsible for themselves"
  • 13. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like grammar, math and history. (A big hint here is if the only way you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it.) I'm just a bill, yeah I'm only a bill, just a sittin here on capitol hill.
  • 14. You ever dressed to look like someone in a Madonna, Cyndi Lauper or Duran Duran video. Suddenly I feel hungry, "hungry like a wolf", Never dressed like Cyndi, but I was disappointed at the time that I could never find the 'girls' who just wanted to have fun.
  • 15. You remember your first kiss with someone having happened while either "Leather and Lace" or "Crazy for You" was playing. Nope, Aliza Paul predated these tunes.
  • 16. You remember with pain the day the Green Machine hit the streets (or the sidewalks), instantly making your Big Wheel obsolete. NOTHING was ever better than the Big Wheel, that's blasphemy. I rode the cheap plastic wheels off that thing at Grandma's house.
  • 17. The age-old question "Where's the beef?" still makes you laugh. Te - Hee, yep still laugh.
  • 18. You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly have more advanced special effects than "TRON." Never saw it
  • 19. You had a crush on Ted the photographer on "Love Boat," Gage from "Emergency," or Ponch from "CHIPS." Nope, I was straight even then, did have a crush on Ginger from Gilligan's Island though.
  • 20. Your hair at some point in time in the '80s could only be described by saying, "I was experimenting." I am the mullet man, yes I am.
  • 21. You've ever shopped at Benetton. Not willingly, American Eagle yes.
  • 22. You're starting to believe that having the kids in school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. Since we are largely not an agrarian society at this point, yes, school should be year round. Farm kids should get off and get credit for time served working, but the rest should still be in class.
  • 23. You're currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major. Not exactly
  • 24. U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now. ICK
  • 25. You remember trying to guess which episode of "The Brady Bunch" it was by the first scene. I loved Marsha Marsha Marsha
  • 26. You had a front-row seat (i.e., blew off one or more classes) for Luke and Laura's wedding on "GH." Yawn, nope
  • 27. Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway. Yep, I wanted to be Starsky or Hutch.
  • 28. You know who shot J.R. Cant recall, but Dallas et al sucked.
  • 29. You recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's Christmas stocking. Really?
  • 30. This rings a bell: "My name is Charlie, and they work for me." This show should have never been permitted on television, for it causes 12 year old boys to sin, along with Wonder woman. Ohhhhh my.
  • 31. You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on. (Related item: you were sure that "New Coke" would NEVER catch on.) New Coke was awful, awful awful.
  • 32. You know all the words to the double-album set of the "Grease" soundtrack. Not really
  • 33. You've ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut. Nope, guy thing, had the mullet. had the parted in the middle feathered look, had the Reagan part on the right, no Dorothy.
  • 34. You sat with your friends on any given Friday night circa 1982 and dialed 867-5309 to see if Jenny was actually there. Giggling the whole time.
  • 35. "All skate, change directions" means something to you. It meant I was in the wrong place, cant skate.
  • 36. You've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used to wear. Oh yes, loved them, Nano Nano.
  • 37. You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli. (Related item: if you've ever smacked yourself in the head with a shoe and exclaimed, "I'm so wasted!") Or, "Demented and sad, but social" (breakfast club)
  • 38. You owned a Preppy Handbook. I was more the geek or the hood, never was too much the prep, tried it, failed, moved on. I owed parachute pants though, a whole free fall wardrobe at one point.
  • 39. You were too young to see "Blue Lagoon," so you just had to settle for the second-hand reports. In the school yard from the 8Th graders, yep.
  • 40. You remember when movies were only PG and R. " Those were the dayyyyysss"
  • 41. You learned to swim at about the same time "Jaws" came out....and still carry the emotional scars to prove it. Never worried me much. Didn't get near real water till I was much much older.
  • 42. You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch...and your "cable remote" was connected to the TV by CORD! Time Warner cable and ON TV.
  • 43. Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick-sized packages of Bazooka. Loved the lame cartoons inside.
  • 44. You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or--worst of all--what Sheriff Roscoe's full name was. Roscoe P. Coltrane. Loved those shorts too by the way. I still want Boss Hogs car, I will have one in my retirement and drive it to Mexico.
  • 45. Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table. Not my parents.
  • 46. You found nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together. I always thought they were in the closet. Led there by Mr. Rogers.
  • 47. You remember having a rotary phone. Big Big thing it was, kinky curly 2 foot cord and all.
  • 48. You actually believed that Mikey--famed kid on the Life cereal commercials--died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke. You mean he didn't?
  • 49. "Members Only" jackets...say no more. Don't recall this one. I only remember varsity jackets. I couldn't afford a real jacket so mom got me a windbreaker and glued my Honors letter to the back, Can you say Nerd?
  • 50. And lastly, I'll make a song stick in your head for the rest of the day:...you actually remember the words to the the theme song of "The Greatest American Hero." That one is faintly there, but "the Jefferson's" and "Good times" and "Happy Days" and "Laverne and Shirley" and "Gilligan's Island" and I just loved Archie and Edith Bunker.

"Movin on up, to the East Side, got a de-luxe apartment in the sky. "

Thanks again to Digger for this trip down memory lane.

(HT Dale)

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Parade cont.




I was just in the mood to put up a few more parade pictures just to lighten the mood. This one is just special.

Ah, yes, Midwest American at it finest. Mom must be so proud.




You look big and strong, I have an idea.



I'll bite her on the ankle and you grab her candy and run, well meet up at the dry cleaners around the corner.Okay, maybe I should just go for the Hunan high roundhouse running kick and knock her down, then we can both grab her candy and run. She will be like a little blond pinata falling over. On the count of three. One..............Two......... what comes next?
No body told me cheerleaders got wet. You could of warned me, what are you looking at anyway!!!!!!!!

New to the Beijing Olympics summer of 2008, the CAT HERDING event. How many adults and how long does it take to put 15 kindergartners in a pickup truck.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Prayer update

Thank you to all the prayer warriors who have responded.

I don't have too much in the way of an update, but I will share what little bit I know at this point.

Isaiah made it through the surgery that attempted the Fontan procedure, and then the surgery to reverse the Fontan. At last word he was in ICU but stable. Less than 24 hours after what I believe is an open heart surgery on a 3 year old, he was able to sit up, recognize his parents and nod to them. I think his total time in surgery was something like 12 hours.

Isaiah will likely be in the hospital for some time to come because the procedure that didn't take was intended to correct a blood flow issue with his heart, he still has this original issue and the parents are faced with the decision of whether or not to allow another attempt at this some time in the future.

So, prayer warriors, keep it up, your efforts are always felt.

To God be the Glory and to God be the Praise for He is worthy,

Amen. Amen, and Amen.


PS: The reason my information is limited is because the parents have requested that all family and friends stay away from the hospital. They have made the choice to be alone in this with their son. I can respect and must respect this choice, but I know, and they know, they are not truly alone in anything because the Holy Spirit is with them and Christ is in them. I will update later with anything new that comes this way.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Pray again.

Angie has family who are undergoing yet another difficult trial. This is one of those trials that put a persons entire existence under strain. The kind of trail that stretches a person physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. The kind of stress that only comes when your young child is seriously ill and requires very risky surgery. This is the story of Isaiah as best as my memory can relate it.

Isaiah was several months along inside his mothers womb when the doctors discovered a genetic problem. They recommended a somewhat late term abortion because the heart would not develop and the child would not likely survive birth, and if so, only a few hours after that. Mom and dad said no and through God's grace Isaiah is around 3 years old now. Maybe a little younger or older, my memory isn't that great. Yesterday, yet another of several surgeries this little fellow has needed took place. Something called a Fontan procedure. The risk was high, but there were no other real options. Shortly after the procedure took place the decision was made that it needed to be reversed because it wasn't working. Another surgery ensued. The prognosis has never been good. We are waiting for an update.

The purpose of this post is prayer. Angie has contacted the prayer warriors at our former church, Hartzell UMC, and our current church, Crosspointe and I am now posting to seek the prayers of my friends in cyberspace.

Dear Lord,
Please lay Your calming and comforting hand upon this family as we Your servants seek understanding of Your will.
Please bring peace to this family as they faithfully walk in Your will.
Lord we give You all the glory that is Yours for bringing this blessing into the world as You have shown to be stronger than man and medicine in bringing him here.
We give You all the Praise just for being God.
Heavenly Father, if it is Your will, show Your Glory and Mercy to us Your servants once again by healing what is broken and righting what is wrong.
Raise up Isaiah as sign of Your Glory, raise him up to be a great man of God, an old man of God.
Blessed be Your will.
In the name of Your son, Jesus we pray...............
Amen, Amen, and Amen