Advertizing

I would like to earn a little extra cash, I mean, who wouldn't. In order to do this I would need to find another avenue of income. I have thought about placing advertisements on my blog. The kind that pay per hit and per view and per out click. With my current base of faithful readers and the plethora of hits I get from the words "goodbye gift", 'Fernando", and "poop in my butt" (Yes I am serious) I could earn something on the order of $11.18 per year. I am looking for a little more than that, so, I have decided that rather than marketing my blog, I would market some product. So I have researched some top quality items and top quality advertisers and come up with a plan. First, let me remind you of the folks I am going to use as my mentors.

Number one, Shamwow. You know the stuff, it will suck the moisture out of a desert cactus from ten feet away. You can remind yourself of this dudes annoying voice at http://www.shamwow.com/ if you have interest. Made in Germany, cause as we all know, Germans make good stuff. He is getting people to pay $20 for something you can get at Autozone for $2.00. Genius.

Next we have, Ronco Presents. I love that Rotisserie thing he sells. You can take a frozen solid 20Lb turkey and cook it in this space age designed (we have been is space since 1960 something last time I looked it up) convection cooking marvel in like 8 minutes. This thing also gets so hot you can plop a can of dinty more on top of the thing and bring it to a boil in 2 minutes flat.

Next, K-tel records. You can buy an entire collection of stuff you didnt want to hear the first time all on one lp. (what ever happened to vinyl anyway)

Next, Earl Shive, "I'll paint any car any color for $99.95, in by nine out by five, and for the next three days only, free rust proofing" Man knows how to sell a service, know what I mean. Never mind he used watercolors and he painted the tires too, but what do want for less than a sawbuck in less than a day.

I then discovered that I needed big time brains to help me, I needed a name, and I needed an incredibly fad, hot product. So, here is what I came up with.

Normal Chaos productions presents.

Creative, yet powerfully simplistic and easy to remember.

Next the pitch, hold on and read this till the end.

Oh, before I forget the legal issues that might get me sued, first PSA, drinks aside, and then look up the word spoof before continuing.

"Ladies and Gents, Normal Chaos has been working to bring you a fantastic new product that will just stun and amaze you. We here at Chaos central have finally, finally worked out an arrangement with the head engineers at Apple, you know the folks who brought you that incredibility hot new product, the iPhone and the lead magician at Nintendo, the very guy who came up with the hottest new game control on the market, the Wii. Through our diligent efforts and skunk works project management style, we are able to offer, for a limited time only, the hottest newest tech gadget on the market. The initial offering of this product will be made at designated distributors only. We will announce the location of these outlets only 24 hours before the product is released as to minimize the crowds, camping out and other potentially problematic situations.

That's right folks, the incredible new phone and game controller in one.

iwii2

that's right

iwii2

say it out loud, it has a wonderful ring to it. I combines on the things you love about the iPhone and the Wii in one handy little piece of tech wizardry. What can it do you ask? Well the touch pad technology works just the same as one your OLD iPhone, but, if you want to use the upgraded features you can do things like this. If your sitting in the living room looking at some pictures you took on your phone and you wish that they were just a little bigger, then just reach your arm back and throw the phone (don't let go, its a wii too) and the picture will throw itself onto you television. Want to call the person in the picture, just point the phone at a picture of who you want to call and flick your wrist, its dialing. You can even call someone and both of you use your iwii2 controllers to talk and play the same video game at the same time, up to 4 people can compete via conference call.

As a specially selected VIP you will also receive this wonderful gift. I will allow you to pre-buy your iwii2. Just send $199.95 to Normal Chaos Productions Presents, 4444 Oak Street, Burbank California, or call, 1-900-012-NCPP and ask for VIP treatment. If you call within the next 5 seconds I will even include a free set of Ginsu knives, just for being who you are. I will give you my personal guarantee, if you don't love the iwii2 you can send it back.

Shipping and handling extra, not valid in Utah or Michigan, allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery."