Mustard.

This is actually yet another post about the mind of Gracie. Let me lay out a few quick things you need to know.

1. Gracie learned a new phase the other day from a cartoon, "put some mustard on it" was used in reference to throwing a ball faster.


2. Gracie likes A1 steak sauce on her beef, and her pork. She likes it because daddy uses it and she calls A1 daddy's sauce.


3. Gracie also likes Barbecue sauce on some things. She likes it because mommy uses it and she calls Barbecue mommy's sauce.


4. Gracie loves to have fun while shopping at Kroger's.

Gracie and I went to Kroger's after supper on Wednesday. We needed to get a few quick things and then pick up Wendy's to take home to momma who avoids kids night at skyline as much as she can. That's cool with me and Gracie because we get to have fun on our own. While I am pushing the cart through Kroger's and Gracie is riding on the front, she starts telling me all about Franklin (the cartoon) and the new phrase she learned today, "put some mustard on it" Well this starts off innocent enough, she keeps saying the phrase (over and over again) trying to get me to move the cart faster, particularly around the corners. After a while of this, and people giggling at her (or us) the whole time, she changes the game a little. Now the game is about food, and mustard is something that goes on or in food. So, "put some mustard on it" gets added to "put some onions on it" and "put some berries on it" and "put some olives (pronounced ol - libs) on it" and then she says, "stir it all up and taste it." I of course don't want to taste it so she goes first.

"yummie yummie there is a party in my tummy" (also from a cartoon) is what Gracie says next, but daddy needs to take a bite.

So I try the make believe casserole, "eeeuuuu, yuuckkie, uuhgh, nasty stuff, olives dont go with berries, I dont like it"

Well we have found a new game, she concocts 2 or 3 more nasty messes of stuff for us to try. She of course loves each one and I of course make loud icky noises because its imaginarily awful. The problem, or the humor depending on your viewpoint comes with the last casserole. Read the next dialog carefully, remember she is almost 5 and loud besides, and try to allow a little of that middle school humor that lives deep inside of you to surface for just a second, (not to long, but just for a minute)

Gracie: "Put some mustard on it"

Daddy:" Okay, mustard's on it"

Gracie:" Put some cabbage on it, I love cabbage"

Daddy:" In with the cabbage"

Gracie:" Put some beans on it, I love beans, more beans more beans"

Daddy: "more beans? is this enough beans yet"

Gracie:"Put some daddy sauce on it, lots of daddy sauce"

(daddy to a second to process this, oh no,)

Daddy: "no, lets just stick with mustard" (start walking faster)

Gracie:" no, lets use mommy sauce instead"

Daddy:"no, lets stick with mustard"

Gracie:" whats wrong dont you like mommy sauce?"

Daddy:"uh, I like mustard with my cabbage, would you like some skittles or maybe some ice cream, how bout some chocolate cake?"

Gracie:" can I have mustard on my cake?"

Daddy:" Yes, of course you can, lots of mustard is good on chocolate"

(whew, moving on)