Questionable questions

HT to Digger for bringing this up. He was pondering this question just the other day, a question we may never know the answer to. If you approach this question scientifically you will never arrive at a true conclusion because the factors are too varied. How much pressure is applied in each lick? How much surface area is covered with each lick? What is the relative humidity of the lickers mouth? What is the relative PH of the lickers mouth? The variables are as endless as the question.

The reality is that there is no answer to this question, but the genius is that the question is actually from a commercial. Even more intriguing is that the commercial is something like 40 years old and we still ask the unanswerable question. There are more than a few of these out there and since I am bored and quite the genius myself, I will endeavour to answer them for you now.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

The Owl says three, the answer is three, why would he lie? He even did a demonstration for you. The owl has a tongue so he can lick, he has no teeth so he cant bite it. Therefore the owl is correct, three. Now, let it die and dont ask again.

Where is Waldo?

Waldo is flippin' burgers in Osh Kosh Wisconsin with Elvis. No, not really. Waldo is really a double secret double agent man. He sold the secret of how Life cereal stays crispy in milk to the Ruskies and the secret to how Lenin looks so good under glass to us. When the Russians found out that everything gets soggy after a while and we found out that Lenin was always made of wax we were both angry and tried to hunt him down. Rumor has it that he is under the protection of the great Wizard of Oz, but our intelligence has reported that he has been training with the Cheshire cat in Wonderland learning to disappear when he smiles. If he obtains this skill we may never find him. This would be a shame because he also made off with the 7 herbs and spices recipe from KFC and we can ill afford that information to fall into the wrong hands.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Why I would para sail stark naked over an active Hawaiian volcano during tourist season with a Geico logo plastered on the para sail. (Please stop screaming now, you might hurt my feelings)

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Its the egg people, its the egg. Live with it, deal with it, accept it. There is only one possible answer, the egg. All chickens come out of eggs, period. Not every egg came out of a chicken. Some place in history a Cockatoo thought a buzzard girl was looking pretty sexy and they got married and had a family, thus you have a chicken, but that chicken came from an egg. The egg came first. And before you ask, I don't know why it crossed the road, it just did.