Monday, May 19, 2008

Answer number one.

I put a call out to my fellow bloggers and readers for suggestions of things they would like to see me post about. The response thus far has been amazing. I will attempt to address each one I have received in time, but I will address one from "Charlie" first. He asked about:

" Curious George Meets Spuds MacKenzie and Mr. Whipple"

Okay Charlie, lets see what damage I can do with this.

First, lets do some introductions. Curious George is a character from children's books beginning in 1941. George is said to be a curious little monkey who has difficulty staying out of trouble. George, however, is not really a monkey at all as he has no tail he would really be an ape. This story was created by H.A. Rey and Margret Rey of Paris France. The only other recurring character from the original series of books was the "man in the yellow hat" who found / kidnapped George from Africa. "the man in the yellow hat" is the one who keeps getting George out of trouble. There are those, however, who question whether or not this story is actually a story of oppression. I reprint this section of Wikipedia as evidence.:






the Man with the Yellow Hat. It was he who brought George from Africa, and it is in his house that George lives. The Man often facilitates George's adventures by taking him somewhere, and even more often resolves the tension by appearing just in time to get George out of a tight spot. He is always seen wearing a bright yellow suit and a wide-brimmed yellow hat.
The Man is never mentioned by name in the original adventures, or in any subsequent content over more than six decades. He is always called either "the Man" or fully "the Man with the Yellow Hat". When people speak to George about the Man, they often refer to him as "your friend."


Obviously George has been victimized and is now being patronized by "the man".




Next we have good Ol' Spuds MacKenzie. Spuds was the spokes stud for Bud light beginning in a 1983 Superbowl ad appearance. Spuds was an extremely popular and well know animal actor for most of the late 1980's. His employer, Anheuser-Busch marketed his likeness so well that they actually began to draw fire from temperance-oriented groups such as M.A.D.D among others. They claimed that Anheuser-Busch was glamorizing Spuds as a sexxy too-cool-for-monogamy-and-sobriety dog to sell alcohol to children. Spuds was frequently shown hanging out with skimpily clad beach babes and the sexual innuendo was ever present. The real controversy, however was the the oft glorified stud Spuds, was actually a girl. That's right, Spuds real name was "Honey Tree Evil Eye" and she was a Bull Terrier.




And lastly, and possibly the most disturbing character is Mr. Whipple. Yes, we all remember that annoying voice of Mr. Whipple. Mr. George Whipple was a grocery store supervisor in Charmin toilet paper advertisements from 1964 to 1985. Mr. Whipple loved to squeeze the Charmin and told us so for over 2 decades. If you take a close look at Mr. Whipple you may feel that something about him is just not right. You would be correct. See, the part that you may have suspected but never been told is that Charmin was actually the name of Mr. Whipple's 15 year old nephew. I need not elaborate on this any further.



So, the situation proposed is that Curious George, the oppressed monkey, Spuds the boy/girl terrier, and the pedophile Mr. Whipple meet. What might bring this strange crew together? Nothing less than Berkeley California of course. A person named Medea Benjamin who co-founded a protest group called CodePink put out a call to any and all "celebrity types" to come to a protest rally she was organizing on the Berkeley campus. The query requested that anyone who has a beef with the establishment and a recognizable name or face should come to her rally and they would be given time to speak to the crowd. This protest was to be a "down with the establishment" rally. She was overheard to have said that she wanted this to be the biggest protest since the "summer of love." This sort of call to the Hollywood elite is going to bring people out of the woodwork's of course. Ms. Benjamin set up several stages in a rainbow shape and put several speakers on each stage. The crowd that gathers was a crowd of about 10 thousand people and about 8 thousand more camera men from Fox news and CNN. On stage one was Forest Gump who expressed his concerns that the food companies in this country were deliberately making kids fat so they couldn't run, Keith Richards spoke in support of national availability of medicinal herb, his talk was briefly interrupted by his need for a blood transfusion, but he finished strong. Also on stage one as the third speaker was Al Gore who said he walked to Berkeley to reduce his carbon footprint and thus delay the inevitable catastrophe of global warming, but was seen getting into a limo that was kept running behind stage during the entire talk. When asked about it by CNN he simply stated, "I walked here, they follow me where ever I go, and I need to be in Oregon in 3 hours to give the same speech so now I have to ride. " On the second stage you would find Kevin Costner dressed as an Indian expressing his concerns about our shrinking national forests, and Tom Cruise selling the Church of Scientology. On the third stage you will find Mr. Whipple who was there representing............(wait for it)............NAMBLA. That's correct, Mr. Whipple is still at it, but now he is representing the North American Man Boy Love Association. Next to him you will find Spud MacKensie, speaking on behalf of the Rainbow Canine Co-alition requesting tolerance for Lesbian and Gay dogs everywhere. Also on stage Three you would find non other that Curious George. George was later accused of plagiarism because he took the stage and simply read the last sermon from Rev. Jeremiah Wright and then exited the stage. He was given time to express his concerns about oppression and how "the Man" was keeping him down. But he never credited his source. Barrack Obama was seen in the crowd but when questioned he said he was listening to Gumby talk at the time and heard nothing of what George had to say.


The whole protest seemed to go well until Mr. Rogers showed up, pulled an AK out of his gym bag, lite a Cigar and began screaming "not in my neighborhood you bunch of freaks" followed by "Let me introduce you to my little friend"




So, this has been the story of how Curious George, Spuds, and Mr. Whipple met, by sharing a stage at a CodePink rally in Berkeley California.









2 comments:

Pastor Eldred said...

Thanks, Chris! I feel honored to be the first answer out of the gate. Interesting that you chose my neighboring community of Berkeley as the setting for the meeting!

~ Charlie (Tuna)

Anonymous said...

That was the weirdest thing I have ever read...and I read a lot of weird stuff. :)