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Okay peeps, here is the latest update on the Gracie freight train. A brief reminder to the uninformed, Gracie is my 4 year old Chinese princess. Last night Gracie is upstairs playing and I have crash landed on the couch. After a long and frustrating day at work I came home and cooked supper, ate and now its time to rest, for a minute anyways. As I sit and breath, hoping to not be required to endure much more activity than this, I hear a call from upstairs.

"Daaaa-------------ddddddddyyyyyyyy"

(Sigh) "Yes sweety?"

"I dropped the toilet paper,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, In the toilet"

(Insert melodramatic music here)

My brain races, I know what I must do, Super Plumber Ninja Dad has been called into action. I must LEAP into the phone booth (dont we all have phone booths in our living room? Well, you cant find one anyplace else these days so I guess, yes, we do all have them in our living rooms) I must spin in a quick circle and change into my tights and cape. (anybody have any suggestions about these tights, man they are tough to put on and they chaff up a storm, OWEE) I must leap up the stairs in a single bound(or twelve or fourteen) and cast myself in front of the evil toilet demon before she flushes and unleashes a monster flood. A flood with gnashing teeth and irritated insurance claims adjusters flailing like snakes from her head. (Medusa reference for the slow on the uptake crowd) A flood unlike any other since Noah was single. Yes, its time for Super Plumber Ninja Dad and his cat like quickness to come and save the day. (okay, how many of you are having Underdog flashbacks right now?) Just as my Ninja skills kick in, an unfortunate reality sets in. In spite of my super duper dad powers, I still am not that fast. The couch monster and the gravity demon are still holding me motionless in my seat. I realize I will not make it in time, so I resort to the only power I have left to use. My voice. I speak loudly and in that low important dad voice.

"Gracie, dont flush"

"Why not Daddy?"

Oh no, my voice may not be powerful enough to overcome the temptation monster. I must try again. I struggle to speak louder and deeper in that because I said so dad voice. The voice that means, I am king and ye shall obey me.

"Gracie, dont flush, you'll clog up the toilet, again"

"Oh, its okay daddy, I pulled it out with my hands, but now its all wet"

EEEKKK, I have been foiled. Its too late. Super Plumber Ninja Dad should now spring into action, fly upstairs with cape trailing behind and capture and disinfect the afflicted little one. I must save her, I must.

Nah, I'm tired and the couch still has my butt.

"Gracie, drop it in the bathtub and wash your hands,..........twice"

"Okay daddy"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........ddddddddddddddy, will you come play with me"

"on my way sweety,tea party tonight?"

"Ye-ah"

And such is the life of Super Plumber Ninja Dad.