It has certainly been an interesting week. Some nostalgia is taking over in some respects. This edition of my daily life may be a bit difficult to follow because I will be mixing this weeks events in with some prequels and sequels from the story of Grace. So bare with me my friends and lets muddle through this together.
First lets just talk about Gracie. Yesterday was the pumpkin-fest. This is a festival held by Crosspoint Lutheran Church. It is a county wide festival that draws about 14000 people in two days. Best I can tell the membership of Crosspoint is about 100 strong or so. They put on quite the show this weekend. Gracie couldn't wait to go because she sees the prep for it while she was in pre-school. Angie works there as an aid as well. All day long Gracie talked about cotton candy, helicopters, slides and games. We got there about 2:30 or so and left at 7:00PM. Gracie "won" a hole bag full of stuffed animals, including the all telling ladybug, and suckers and toys and and and and.............. My Gracie came home all wound up, but when she crashed, she crashed hard.
Anyway, on to more difficult matters. Angie and I spent some time this weekend discussing church matters. We currently attend and belong to Hartzell UMC. When we moved to Mainville that made Hartzell about a 20 minute drive as opposed to the 20 seconds it used to be. This doesn't mean much on Sunday morning, but we were used to being at church several nights a week or choir, vegi tales, committee meetings, bible studies, etc. This introduced a difficulty for Angie.
Myself, I have a different issue. I will now need to assume if your reading this you have already read the story of Grace, if not this may not make sense to you, so go down one entry and read it first. Since God first started working on me I have always felt He was leading me towards an event. He was guiding me towards doing something for Him, something very specific. I mentioned to you that my random and scattered opportunities to preach have undergone a sever transition. The first time I wrote out a careful sermon and stood before the congregation with full text in hand and walked around reading the message. Then I progressed to an outline format where I just used notes to maintain some sense of order. The last three or five sermons I have done have been completely note free. I have this concept in my head that translates out into a message, and I go before the congregation and just start speaking. It isn't long before I feel myself let go and God takes over and His message is delivered to His people though my obedience. It is a bit awkward at first but once I got the let go part down its smooth sailing from there. The last sermon was a bit harsh and ended with a full blown alter call. This is not something that happens at Hartzell. In the 7 years I have been going there I had never heard the pastor invite people forward to accept Christ and follow Him. The alter is open for any purpose after the service is over but the alter call I was looking for, in the form I was waiting for, never came. I believe God wanted to use me to accomplish this task for somebody at Hartzell. I believe that Gods plan bore fruit that day.
This caused a change to occur. I feel that the Holy Spirit is drawing me away from Hartzell now. I have completed the mission God sent me to do and I feel He is drawing me away and towards something else. I also run into a difficulty in the flesh with this issue at the same time. I feel pushed and pulled by people to leave as well. I don't always react well to this because it causes me confusion. I need to know I am following the Holy Spirit in my choices and not listening to the flesh that may be doing the same thing. Well, this weekend I made up my mind after much debate, prayer and argument. It is time to leave Hartzell and head to Crosspoint.
Now, decision made, what happens now is the question. Every single real friend I have at the moment is at Hartzell. If I leave, what happens to those relationships? I feel like God is putting me back on an Island alone again. I have been on this Island before so I think God does this to me on purpose to prepare me for what happens next. I think God strips away my crutches and confidants and influences to get me by myself so I only have Him to lean on. This is not a comfortable way to learn, in my opinion, but if past experience is a teacher then I know things will not only be okay on the other side, they will be Glorious. Let me tell you the story of the last Island.
I had recently returned from Charlotte and had made my commitment to Christ. I was aflame with the desire at that moment. I had begun my journey of Preaching at the newly created third service and was headed towards adopting from China when I was run aground the first time. I had a group of friends that I ran with all the time that consisted of about 6 couples. We would gather at one house out on a lake just about 3 weekends a month. These people, in my mind, were my circle of friends at the time. I still had one other couple as friends who I grew up with but we had grown apart a little just because of leading different lives at the time. One of the circle of friends offered to help me with a fund raiser for the adoption process. Once this got underway I felt that this particular method of fundraising was inappropriate because it was not God centered, it was depending too much on corporations, sports teams, etc to provide the vehicle for the event. Then this person who had offered to help started pulling out on me, that was my clue that I shouldn't be seeking funding this way so I pulled out of the fundraiser all together. I choose instead to write a letter describing this event to local churches and asking their help in fundraising. This letter was not effective in raising money at all, I got zero response from churches. I did however get a response from my circle of friends. Somebody took the part about not being God centered to be a commentary about their Christianity. The short and quick result of that was we were asked to not come around any more. I had just been pruned and was now on an island alone.
The story is, by diving in to my church and learning, and preaching, and serving, I made new and better friends. Remember the old friend whom I said we had grown apart just because of circumstances? Well they started attending Hartzell as well and we have grown closer that we had been in years. They helped with our adoption journey even though they were in the middle of their own fertility crisis. There journey ended with the birth of their son some 9 months after we got back from China. (if I have the math right and I may not) I became good friends with the pastor and was at his Wedding, I got to be close with the whole pastoral family. I made new friends with people like the Lochers, the Schraedins, the Willisons, and the Bobbitts. They have become our confidants and crutches. Now, here is the question of the hour. I have been pruned away from Hartzell, am I being pruned away from them as well. At this moment in time I would have to say yes and no. I can feel a growing distance with some of them, but I think the friendships with others will survive. I find myself planted on this island again while changes are taking place but I think the solitude will again be brief. The question is once I have my new direction, who will be standing with me on the other side of this Island. What does God have planned now? Does His plan involve Crosspoint?
Here was my first clue. I spend some time in a forum called YMX. Youth ministry exchange. I have made some "online" friends in this community. One of my online friends made comment that he wished I could come to his church and tell the story of Grace. (see previous post if you have not done so yet) This friend lives in California so I don't know if I will ever get out there to tell them this story but he is more that welcome to share it himself if he were to choose to. However, another online friend has invited me to tell this story to his church in October. Is this Gods continuing plan for me? Shall I be the traveling purveyor of the story of Grace? I dont know yet, but this does remind me of one thing for sure.
Jer 29:11
"I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you and not to harm you"
I do wish God would just send me a post card with His expectations on it, but if that's lacking then I suppose I will just continue to listen, guess, and go.
YBIC
First lets just talk about Gracie. Yesterday was the pumpkin-fest. This is a festival held by Crosspoint Lutheran Church. It is a county wide festival that draws about 14000 people in two days. Best I can tell the membership of Crosspoint is about 100 strong or so. They put on quite the show this weekend. Gracie couldn't wait to go because she sees the prep for it while she was in pre-school. Angie works there as an aid as well. All day long Gracie talked about cotton candy, helicopters, slides and games. We got there about 2:30 or so and left at 7:00PM. Gracie "won" a hole bag full of stuffed animals, including the all telling ladybug, and suckers and toys and and and and.............. My Gracie came home all wound up, but when she crashed, she crashed hard.
Anyway, on to more difficult matters. Angie and I spent some time this weekend discussing church matters. We currently attend and belong to Hartzell UMC. When we moved to Mainville that made Hartzell about a 20 minute drive as opposed to the 20 seconds it used to be. This doesn't mean much on Sunday morning, but we were used to being at church several nights a week or choir, vegi tales, committee meetings, bible studies, etc. This introduced a difficulty for Angie.
Myself, I have a different issue. I will now need to assume if your reading this you have already read the story of Grace, if not this may not make sense to you, so go down one entry and read it first. Since God first started working on me I have always felt He was leading me towards an event. He was guiding me towards doing something for Him, something very specific. I mentioned to you that my random and scattered opportunities to preach have undergone a sever transition. The first time I wrote out a careful sermon and stood before the congregation with full text in hand and walked around reading the message. Then I progressed to an outline format where I just used notes to maintain some sense of order. The last three or five sermons I have done have been completely note free. I have this concept in my head that translates out into a message, and I go before the congregation and just start speaking. It isn't long before I feel myself let go and God takes over and His message is delivered to His people though my obedience. It is a bit awkward at first but once I got the let go part down its smooth sailing from there. The last sermon was a bit harsh and ended with a full blown alter call. This is not something that happens at Hartzell. In the 7 years I have been going there I had never heard the pastor invite people forward to accept Christ and follow Him. The alter is open for any purpose after the service is over but the alter call I was looking for, in the form I was waiting for, never came. I believe God wanted to use me to accomplish this task for somebody at Hartzell. I believe that Gods plan bore fruit that day.
This caused a change to occur. I feel that the Holy Spirit is drawing me away from Hartzell now. I have completed the mission God sent me to do and I feel He is drawing me away and towards something else. I also run into a difficulty in the flesh with this issue at the same time. I feel pushed and pulled by people to leave as well. I don't always react well to this because it causes me confusion. I need to know I am following the Holy Spirit in my choices and not listening to the flesh that may be doing the same thing. Well, this weekend I made up my mind after much debate, prayer and argument. It is time to leave Hartzell and head to Crosspoint.
Now, decision made, what happens now is the question. Every single real friend I have at the moment is at Hartzell. If I leave, what happens to those relationships? I feel like God is putting me back on an Island alone again. I have been on this Island before so I think God does this to me on purpose to prepare me for what happens next. I think God strips away my crutches and confidants and influences to get me by myself so I only have Him to lean on. This is not a comfortable way to learn, in my opinion, but if past experience is a teacher then I know things will not only be okay on the other side, they will be Glorious. Let me tell you the story of the last Island.
I had recently returned from Charlotte and had made my commitment to Christ. I was aflame with the desire at that moment. I had begun my journey of Preaching at the newly created third service and was headed towards adopting from China when I was run aground the first time. I had a group of friends that I ran with all the time that consisted of about 6 couples. We would gather at one house out on a lake just about 3 weekends a month. These people, in my mind, were my circle of friends at the time. I still had one other couple as friends who I grew up with but we had grown apart a little just because of leading different lives at the time. One of the circle of friends offered to help me with a fund raiser for the adoption process. Once this got underway I felt that this particular method of fundraising was inappropriate because it was not God centered, it was depending too much on corporations, sports teams, etc to provide the vehicle for the event. Then this person who had offered to help started pulling out on me, that was my clue that I shouldn't be seeking funding this way so I pulled out of the fundraiser all together. I choose instead to write a letter describing this event to local churches and asking their help in fundraising. This letter was not effective in raising money at all, I got zero response from churches. I did however get a response from my circle of friends. Somebody took the part about not being God centered to be a commentary about their Christianity. The short and quick result of that was we were asked to not come around any more. I had just been pruned and was now on an island alone.
The story is, by diving in to my church and learning, and preaching, and serving, I made new and better friends. Remember the old friend whom I said we had grown apart just because of circumstances? Well they started attending Hartzell as well and we have grown closer that we had been in years. They helped with our adoption journey even though they were in the middle of their own fertility crisis. There journey ended with the birth of their son some 9 months after we got back from China. (if I have the math right and I may not) I became good friends with the pastor and was at his Wedding, I got to be close with the whole pastoral family. I made new friends with people like the Lochers, the Schraedins, the Willisons, and the Bobbitts. They have become our confidants and crutches. Now, here is the question of the hour. I have been pruned away from Hartzell, am I being pruned away from them as well. At this moment in time I would have to say yes and no. I can feel a growing distance with some of them, but I think the friendships with others will survive. I find myself planted on this island again while changes are taking place but I think the solitude will again be brief. The question is once I have my new direction, who will be standing with me on the other side of this Island. What does God have planned now? Does His plan involve Crosspoint?
Here was my first clue. I spend some time in a forum called YMX. Youth ministry exchange. I have made some "online" friends in this community. One of my online friends made comment that he wished I could come to his church and tell the story of Grace. (see previous post if you have not done so yet) This friend lives in California so I don't know if I will ever get out there to tell them this story but he is more that welcome to share it himself if he were to choose to. However, another online friend has invited me to tell this story to his church in October. Is this Gods continuing plan for me? Shall I be the traveling purveyor of the story of Grace? I dont know yet, but this does remind me of one thing for sure.
Jer 29:11
"I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you and not to harm you"
I do wish God would just send me a post card with His expectations on it, but if that's lacking then I suppose I will just continue to listen, guess, and go.
YBIC
4 comments:
Grace'sDad
Having been on "the island" several times, I know the feelings of trepidation that accompany the journey. Times like these make "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee" very precious.
Praying with you through this leg of your journey.
You're never really alone on that island, God's there. Sounds like God may be opening a door for you to do something new and needed. Praying for you.
Praying God shows you his perfect plan for you. Praying as you set forth on sharing Grace's story with more and more people.
Being called out of ...and called into ... just been there myself brother!
You're in my prayers.
I got to stay in the same church family, but for what it felt like, I was going into a totally foreign territory and going to that dessert island. There was no feeling of familiarity to going to a new place of ministry, even if it was within the same church walls.
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