MOM is fine

Today I actually have blog worthy material. Yesterday I drove to Cleveland for my moms surgery. Thats 229 miles each way. Mom is doing great and dad is recovering nicely from the whole thing, so here is the story of my day.

I leave the house at 4:45AM. That might sound early but its only 15 minutes earlier than a normal work day. Its also 45 minutes later that I was supposed to leave. So I toss my Mountain Dews in the cooler and off I go. I'm late and getting later, but hey its early enough in the day I might be able to make up some time on the road. Speed limit is 65 most of the time, if I go 80 or so I can knock off some of the lateness. This works best when you are awake while driving, I off course am not, thus the MD. Remove Skoal, open MD, drink, drink, drink. Okay, maybe I shouldnt have bought the big bottles, but I wanted the caffeine. So, 64 or so ounces later I am driving 80MPH or so with my legs crossed but now I am awake. I decide to go back to the Skoal for a bit. Hmm, the car doesnt seem to want to drive straight at 80 without my hands on the wheel, I could use my knees, but with my legs crossed thats not gonna work either. Now I have a dilemma, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, my chin, I can lay my chin on the wheel and open and insert the Skoal, this will free up both hands and allow my to keep my legs crossed at the same time, pure genius. Okay, lets think this through, were does one insert Skoal exactly. Just a pinch between you cheek and gums, right, well ,,,,, remember that old song about you hip bone is attached to your thigh bone, your thigh bones attached to your............... Your singing it now I can tell. So lets sing together shall we. Your cheek is attached to your face, your face is attached to your chin your chin is attached to a Chrysler Pacifica going 80MPH. Not the best way to change lanes but,,,,,,,,,,mission accomplished.

I still need to pee.

I am now 2 miles from the last rest stop before Clevelend. Its about 7:20AM and I am 60 Miles from Cleveland with a half can of Skoal, 1/4 tank of gas, in aint dark no more and I cant find my sunglasses. (for any bluesbrothers fans say "HIT IT") I gotta urinate like a communist equestrian. (thats piss like a racehorse to most of ya) My skin is begiinning to jondas from the urine build up and I aint gonna make Cleveland in the next 10 minutes. So, I call dad and see if maybe the docs are running behind. He informs me that they decided to do dialysis before surgery so she wouldnt be having surgery until around lunch time or so. My next memory is of myself standing in front of the urinal at those oh so clean roadside rest areas trying to unzip my fly. I believe I let go a small whimper once I could finally release the muscle tension at the very end of my, uh, unit, that was still holding back the impending blast. I am sure that I let go a long sigh as every muscle in my body now relaxed as a stood carefully in front of the urinal. Done pee-in, time for a snack. Lets see, payday, twix and a twizzler, that should do it.
Note to self, long car rides and massive Mountian Dew intake are not an acceptable mix.
I'm on the road again.
I have not yet annoyed anyone on the road and I have made it 228.98 miles on a 229 mile trip. Times up. I overshoot the parking garage driveway by a few feet and stop to think about how I might correct this error. The "gentleman" behind me felt it his duty to inform me that stopping without warning in the middle of the road and signalling no intentions whatsoever, is not the best idea I had today. I thank him for his kindness and his patients as I park on the median to survey my situation.
I have now parked and found a nice man who knows where I need to go, and is willing to tell me where to go. I follow the instructions of this wise sage to find my way to meet dad.
Cleveland Clinic is bigger than the town I grew up in. It doesnt have wings and floors like most hospitals, it has zip codes. I found my way to M81 to find dad sitting there like he was waiting on the judge to pass verdict. We sat, we chatted, time passed, slowly, oh so slowly.
Mom gets out of dialysis and heads off to surgery. We get to visit a while first and we pray together. (yes I said we prayed together, I know, I know, besides a few awkward prayers before meals this is a first) Dad and I find our way to the waiting area and register. We plop down and begin a very long 2-1/2 wait. Dad is struggling to keep together at this point, his glasses were not dirty but they needed cleaned about every 2 minutes. His eyes looked like two piss holes in the snow. His hands were shaking. Me, I just had that helpless feeling of not being able to do anything, all I could do was sit there and talk with him as needed. At one point he reached into his little folder he carries and pulled out an envelope and said he forgot to give it to mom, she wanted it in surgery with her. I said, dont worry about it, they probably wouldnt allow it anyway. He told me it was a prayer cloth. He then put it in his shirt pocket and closed up the folder and kept putting his hand on his chest for the next 2 hours. My dad was praying, all by himself. I may not put much stock in things like prayer cloths, but if he wants to grab hold of something material while speaking with God then he can go right ahead. It cant be much different than me laying on the alter at my church. I go do this upon occasion when I am really troubled about something.

Finally they tell us to go to the little conference room and wait for the doctor to come speak with us. Dad sits on the couch facing the door and plops his stuff down next to him. I sit in the chair next to him. The doctor walks in and leaves the door open, (my powers of observation tell me this is good) Dad gets up and moves away from me and sits right next to the doctor. (okay doc, pay attention, if you left the door open 'cause it was good news fine, if you left it open to bring bad news and make a hasty exit dad just moved within swingin range and you aint gettin out quick enough)
The doctor then proceeds to tell us everything went better than could be expected, all of the negative things that could happen, didnt. There were no problems, and they dont expect any problems to develop. They put in 4 stints instead of the 1 they planned. They only did this because things were going so well. Both the 99% and the 80% blockages have been repaired. (Praise God here) He went thru some of the details of the procedure and talked about bringing her back in 5 months for a follow up and check on their work.
Okay, if you missed that part, she wasnt supposed to be alive that much longer, now they want to do a "check up" in 5 months.
The doctor now got up and slowly makes his exit, at which time I had planned to close the door behind him to let dad have a moment to finish the melt down that he was struggling with. However, dad reached out and slammed the door closed almost planting the knob in the doc's keester. He then stood up really really straight and made some kind of guttural noise, both hands flung up to his chest and his face went dead white. I was a bit concerned that he just had his own heart issue and I needed to get the doc back in here. But then he dove at me, (scaring me further) planted his face in my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist squeezing the Mountain Dew out of me. All the time crying like a baby. Now, let me clarify, if he want to cry, then by all means, cry away, its a good thing. (Jesus wept, amen) Trick here is, I have never seen my father cry, He is one of those people who dont show emotions, at all. I used to think he was Vulcan when I was growing up, other then the occasional show of anger, but even the Vulcan's did that. (if your not a star trek fan, skip previous sentence) He has, that I can remember, never really initiated the first move on a hug in my life either. I love him and dont begrudge him anything but you will have to excuse me if I was a bit startled by it. I dont think he noticed my surprise because I was so pleased with the acts that I know I reacted with love.

Now we go upstairs to her new room. The room that she will only occupy for 24 hours because now they are sending her home. (it takes longer to make chili in a crock pot) Home might be a re-hab unit for a week or two but she is being sent back to Cincy. Dad waits, not so patiently, for the nurses to get done and then he lays across her, sobs some more, and I heard him saying, I love you, and I heard him say, I forgot your cloth, but I prayed, and prayed and prayed.
I waited my turn. My first question was,"so how was your day?" Even the nurses did a spit take on that one.
At this point she is fine, planning on coming home so its time for me to exit stage left, stop being the strong one and get off by myself someplace. I make it back to the parking garage, after a brief stop at the bathroom, and the hot dog vendor, Can't leave Cleveland without a Polish boy with sauerkraut and onions. Now its my turn to de-stress a minute. I concluded this with a few Thank you Jesus's and Praise Gods.

Time to hit the road, (insert "on the road again"music here) Trying to get out of Cleveland before rush hour and not hit it in Columbus. The trip south was much less stressful than the road north. One reason for this is because I am not in a hurry, so speeding is more optional. A secondary reason for this is because I can make frequent stops to remove fluids and change Skoal loadings. No more changing lanes against my will so I can get a new dip in place. Much easier traveling.. While driving I need to make a few more phone calls. I called work and was told to go home and celebrate, or sleep, and take the next day off. I have a great boss. Due to the trauma on the way up I decide to eat instead of drink on the way south. Some more twizzlers and some Taco Bell should do the trick. Somethin' not quite right about having a Taco Bell in a gas station, but hey, it worked for me. I stopped at Burger King once I got back in my zip code and brought my supper home. I was home by a bit after 8 PM. Round trip to Cleveland, a bit under 15 hours including a surgery best described as one of Gods miracles.
Once home I called mom to let her know I was back and still breathing so she wouldn't worry about me, love the irony here, and let Gracie talk to Grandma and Grandpa. She asked why they needed here daddy and would they be home soon. Gotta love kids. After they chattered awhile I asked for the phone back and was told "no, I have one more thing to tell them,,,, I love youuuuuuuu"
Has anybody seen the spell check button????????