The story of Grace

This is the story of Grace.
Let us start at the beginning. I was twenty something in 1992 and about to get married. My soon to be wife and I had decided to have a small wedding on the city square, Fountain Square in Cincinnati Ohio. We got married on Valentines day. Let me paint the picture for those of you not from around here. Fountain Square has a large Fountain in the center of it,duh, and it is very tall, with a woman at the peak with her hands spread out. In the winter the city hangs Christmas lights from her fingers to produce the effect of water while the fountain is turned off. It is a picture perfect place for a wedding. Its February, so its a bit chili outside as you might guess. We had a small group with us, and met up at the 4 star hotel across the street from the fountain. I had 3 of my good friends with me, and my folks, and my wife had a few of her kin there and a couple of her friends as well. All total we had maybe 15-20 people there who knew us. My buddy, who is a pretty large man, walked out into traffic and stopped it so we could all cross the street, it made for quite a sight as one would imagine. As we walked up to the fountain with our rent a pastor in tow, we began to gather a reasonably large crowd of onlookers. We had suddenly become a public disturbance. The city sets up an ice rink on one side of the fountain at this time of year and somebody over there noticed us, made comment of the goings on and decided to play wedding music for the skaters in our honor. The skaters, a bit confused, stopped skating and came over to the edge of the rink to watch us as well. Somebody called the local news media, who quickly dispatched a camera man to the seen of the disruption. What was to be a small gathering of the folks we loved, has now become a newsworthy event in the city. A local balloon artist is making hearts for us, as the city gathers around us to watch this budding romance turn the corner into marriage. The pastor runs through the vows, I kiss my new bride, the photographer snaps a shot, the ice rink plays the appropriate tones, the whole city says" awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" and a new life has begun.
I will let you digest that for a moment. You might want to go get some snacks and a beer, this is going to take a while.
My new bride and I had talked about things before choosing to get married. There were a few issues that needed to be addressed. This was her second marriage and in her view, this brought some baggage. I, of course, had brought some baggage of my own. We discussed these things and believed that we loved each other and could work through anything together. The one thing, which we did discuss, that would become the largest lump of baggage latter in life was children. She told me that she couldnt have children, I said fine, I dont want any, and that was that. Turns out that wasnt that. After a few years of happy marriage, the issue of children again came to the forefront. My wife now wanted children, so we discussed the options. We went to see a doctor as the first step. I wasnt completely sold on the idea of having children at this moment, but I love my wife and was willing to enter the fray and explore what possibilities were out there. I should take a moment right here to mention something that will be important later in the story. My wife was raised baptist. I was raised being told there was a God and He had a son, but not enough of anything else to really get the picture. So, it short, my wife is a backsliden Christian at this moment and I am one of the multitudes who thinks he is a Christian, but its not. Okay, digression over, back to the tale. We find ourselves in a new home, with a job that is in jeopardy from layoffs, and looking at growing from a couple into a family, no pressure here. We decide that we will let the doctors do what they do until such time as somebody says its time for in vitro fertilization. We did the entire spectrum of drugs, timings, surgeries, etc. My wife had many many tests run, a fairly serious surgery done, and I think we did about 6 months worth of artificial insemination's before the doctors finally said it was time for the next step. After a year or so of this, our marriage is really strained. Our finances have become strained, my job is all but gone, she has stopped working and is in school headed for a different career, the credit card bills are mounting, the insurance is running out, anything resembling an intimate relationship is gone, due to the doctors, and life is spiraling out of control. We had reached to point that we had to decide if we would be okay, with it just being the two of us. She said it would, I said thats fine because I was still scared of being a parent. So, that was that and we move on to repair the damage. Of course, that wasnt that, it never is.
Time passes. Open that next beer here.
Life moves along, things change, we grow, we learn, yadda yadda yadda, the thing the thing the thing. Here is were a transformation began to take place. This issue, in its inception had nothing to do with children. Enter stage left,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, GOD............................
My wife, had decided that our happy little family of two, plus three dogs by now, was still lacking what she needed. I said, uh, okay. (we men are a little slower on the uptake sometimes) She felt that something was still missing in her life, but it was something that she did have at some point. Uh, okay, I was still clueless. One day she said, I need a church, there is one right down the street, I am going there this Sunday, come with me or stay home, your choice, I need to go. Well, okay then, have fun, see ya later in the day. We had been to a couple of churches along the way in our marriage journey and I saw no reason for this to be different, but of course it was. She went every Sunday for a while and would come home all aglow with stories of the people, the Pastor, the sermon etc etc. Over time I began to notice that this was a change in things and I felt my life begin to change as well, I could feel God pulling me toward this place. I couldnt recognize it yet because I was still a heathen of the first order, but I am very attuned to life and could feel "something" that I could not explain. So, one morning when my wife got up, I did too, got dressed in a flash and plopped down on the couch to wait for her. She walked into the living room and asked what I was doing. Going to church I recken' was my answer. Okay then, off to church we go. We sat on the back pew in amen corner with the two old lady friends she had made. Now it was confession time, the two old women of amen corner had been praying for me with my wife, that I would feel the need to come with her. That explained a lot. So, now I am at Hartzell United Methodist. Let me speed this up just a bit. I came, I got baptized, I joined the church, and I have been there ever since. One thing you may notice if your astute, I cant spell a lick, but I have yet to capitalize church. I had just joined the church, but I was still a seeker and as of yet had not really found God, but He had a plan to fix that shortly.
Is your dip running low yet? Take a break, its about to take a turn into the Holy.
I was now motivated to understand and experience church, but right now I was still, church folk. That was bout to change. One night I was watching television and turned to watch some of the TV preachers. I was hungry for more at this moment. God sent TD Jakes before me to wet my appetite even further. Jakes was doing the conference thing in North Carolina that year called Manpower. I enjoy listening to Jakes and had the thought that it would be neat to see this event in person. Thought died right there, no money, no time, etc etc etc. Then I say a gentlemen name Eddie Long. He reached through the screen and kicked me in the gut. Something changed right then, he told me that I was just playin church and I needed to understand church and then become Church. Message received, Angie, I am off to Charlotte. I had no idea what was in store or why I had to go, but I had to go and go alone. It was a men's conference to alone was easy to do. It was the most profound experience of my life, to keep this part short because I could ramble for days on this alone. I met Jesus in Charlotte on a Friday night. I invited Him to come into my life and Change me. He said, you are a new Creation, the old has passed away and you are New again. I was reborn, and I was changed and life has been a wild ride ever since. The devil should have killed me before I got to Charlotte, but he has tried several times since and failed. The devil cant get me now. My wife will tell any who ask and listen, I was different when I came back.
Now I am a member of the Church, a member of the Body of Christ. I do my service at Hartzell, but I work for the Lord. God had a plan for me and things are getting more and more interesting. First He wanted me to learn to serve. I started joining things at Hartzell, and volunteering. By the time I was through I was a trustee, an Ad council chair, Sunday school teacher, acolyte leader, Bible study leader etc etc etc. I was there. He also wanted me to learn obedience. He told me to preach, I said what? He said preach, I said who, me? You have to understand Lord, I am the kid who would faint at the idea of oral book reports in front of a class of ten and you want me to preach. Well, you dont tell God no, I have done about 15-18 sermons, the last of which was a salvation message complete with alter call invitation that brought forth fruit. I went from reading a script with my head down in attempt one, to flying without notes of any kind and carrying my Bible in one hand while I speak. God gave me just what I needed to do what He asked, but right now I am ahead of myself.
During the middle of the previous paragraph, my wife says she wants children. I told you that that wasnt that yet. I said, uh, okay. She said she was going to pray and believe in God to deliver the desires of her heart. Hey, thats scripture, count me in.
Time passes. She doesnt become pregnant.
I come to church and lay on the alter one night to pray. Its just me and God at around 7 pm. I had been here before and had been stunned by the results, that was the preaching conversations in the last paragraph. I prayed for my wife and asked Him to direct me and tell me what was His will so that I could direct our family in His will and be His servant. I told him that if he wanted me to have children, teach me about children and put them in my life and a way to have my own, if its in His will. As I ended prayer I stood and heard a little child's giggle. I looked around the sanctuary and outside but no children around. I did not know it at the time but I just heard my daughter giggle for the very first time. Trick with this is at this moment she is inside her mothers womb in the heartland of China. She knows about me and now I know about her as well. God brought many kids into my life very quickly with youth group, acolytes, Sunday school, the Pastoral family. My life was flooded with children in the next few months. Again, I am ahead of myself. I went home and some brief time later my wife brings up the children issue again, but this time I say lets look at our options, she says China, I say lets go. My wife is found of telling a story about checking the calendar on the day we began the process and it said, "and He will fulfill the desires of your heart" This was her message that we had found the path of His will. The giggle was my signpost. Its time to begin the adoption process. Previously, adoption was not even on the table because we had both seen some bad things happen first hand and were gun shy of this issue, but when God leads you in a direction, you had best follow. Angie had spent her time as Sari and I as Abram, but it was time for a new name. God said, let you be called mah mah and let you be called daddy, and so it was to be.
Get another beer here, and maybe you want to hit the bathroom as well, I have now been typing for one hour.
Oh the bureaucracy of it all. The paperwork, in triplicate. We had to deal with our agency, our state, Washington DC and Beijing. We had to deal with gathering documents, birth certificates, education classes, visa forms, immigration forms, home studies, home inspections. We had to have everything notarized, signed, certified and examined and stamped. We had to be finger printed, investigated, and medically examined. Sometime after the home study was complete and before the alien anal probe (immigration) this very long, expensive, and painful process began to become enjoyable. It was a big game at this point, can I find the money, can I get a certified copy of a birth certificate from out of state, will they let me into the attorney generals office to get a stamp on this thing I had mailed from Washington? I was having fun with the challenge because I knew the outcome. I knew the outcome because I had my scripture, "if God is for me, who can be against me" I was more than a conqueror because I knew I was in His will. Three children from church donated $300 to us, this was a nickle in the bucket by comparison to the 20 large this would end up costing, but, it was like the widow who gave her penny to the collection plate, it was nothing, yet it was everything. My best friend from high school wrote a check for 2 grand, unasked but God motivated. I believe the gifts we were given translated into many blessings for the givers as well as for us. I still pray for the families that helped us along in this journey.
Mission completion. Our paperwork was accepted in Beijing and now we had to wait. We had to get the room ready, get the stuff together and have showers etc. I think couple showers were invented by the devil, but hey, I survived.
We got a call one day, about 5 months later, that said we had a UPS package coming to us. We needed to open the package, see a picture of our daughter for the first time and send a fax back to our agency accepting the offer of this child for adoption. This package came to my wife at work. I was not there but I have heard the story many times. The UPS driver walks in and Angie rushes over to him in tears. When asked what was wrong, she told him that he was holding her baby. He asked if he could stick around for a few minutes because he had never delivered a baby before. She of course said yes. The package had a few pictures of her and all the background info they could share at the time. It wasnt much, but it was more than enough. My wife left and met me at my work so I could see our daughter for the first time. I looked at that beautiful picture and could hear that little girl giggle all over again. Time to use the fax machine and order up one trip to China.
A few weeks later we are packed with several suitcases and flying to China. We have a brief layover in San Fran on the way. We met up for a quick bite to eat with an online friend of Angie named Deneice. I probably need to apologize to Deneice for being a total scatter brained fool, but I just could not focus and did not feel well because of all the energy flowing through me at the time. I was on the way to China. I had never even thought of the possibility of China while I was growing up and I am only a long plane ride from it right now. We got on the next plane and flew into Beijing. And so the adventure begins.
We had a few days to kill in Beijing before leaving for the capital city of Hunan and the accomplishment of a dream. We toured the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, had coco at Starbucks and prayed on Tienanmen Square. We were in the middle kingdom and it felt like it. China was note just a foreign country it is another world. People are people no matter the place, but despite some similarities, this was truly a land far away. I was already in love with this place and enjoying the experience. Angie was tense and anxious to get to Changsha. One of the pictures I have online in myspace is of me and two young ladies in front of the entrance to the Forbidden City. They were there sightseeing just like us. They thought it would be cool to have there picture taken with me, the fat, bald, round eyed foreigner. I loved it. Notice the peace symbol they both are making in the picture. Yes my sisters, peace be with you, now and always.
After a brief stay in Beijing, it was time to go to Changsha. This was the most beautiful hotel I had ever seen, the Dolton. It was in the heart of an overly industrialized city. The locals had not seen the sky in years because of the thick smog and perpetual haze. We had a little bit of time to kill before the big day arrived. Gotcha day is coming soon. When we first arrived at the hotel we go up to find our rooms thirty something floors up in the smog. When we walk into the rooms, there is something new here. The rooms were ready. ready for us, and us was now three. When we walked into the room, the first thing one would notice is the crib right next to the beds. This caused many a soon to be mom to gasp. It was the last signpost at the end of the journey. It made the finality's of the journey all too real in an instant. Several of the moms cried aloud when entering the room. Not everyone was a first time mother, but he ones that were new, are all now in tears. Repeat process upon walking into bathroom and finding that baby tub. Lets try and get some rest, yeah, right.
Some time later, all of the couples gather in the lobby, luggage in hand, in preparation to go to the local government building. This is where gotcha day will take place. Our coordinator, Sabrina, checks to make sure we have everything we need. Most particularly the forms that are required as well as any gifts we may have brought. We take a 20 minute bus ride that lasts three days before getting to the run down concrete post communist structure. We offload and get into the building and go up a few floors in the elevator. Then we walk into a room that looks like a large principle's office from an inner city high school with hospital waiting room furniture and plastic chairs all around the edges. Standing along the walls on one side of the room are rows of young women holding babies. Our Gracie is over there someplace.
Before reading any further, if you have a Bible in your house, go find the book of Isiah.
This is how this works. Our coordinator has a stack of paperwork, the local coordinator has another stack, and the director of the orphanage is standing next to them. He brings forth a nanny and they tell the local the child's name, the local then hollers out the child's name while taking the child from the nanny. Our coordinator comes to find us, in case we didnt hear or recognize our child's Chinese name, said in Chinese. The local then hands the child to the mother and the cameras all go off. This is the moment of gotcha. Angie and I were standing amongst our group from CHI and waiting to hear a particular name. Finally, the Chinese voice said, YI MENG CHANG. Angie took Gracie, from the lady held her up and with tears streaming down her face and her entire body shaking she hollered at the top of her lungs, "oh, THANK YOU JESUS". This is were the book of Isiah comes in. The door posts shook and smoke filled the room as the Lord came and took rest upon His alter among us. You could feel the warmth and Love fill that room at that moment in time. Nothing negative had rest in that place, it was all driven out as the room filled with His Spirit and His Presence because His servant had called upon Him in true and honest praise. We knew that God had done this and when He was acknowledged, He came among us. Angie held Marilyn Grace YiMengChang for a while and then it was my turn. I got to hold my daughter for the first time. This room and these events are something I will never forget. The Glory of God is burned into the walls and into my mind in this moment of time. In case you think this might just be my emotions of the moment, let me provide you with one missing detail. Two days later on the 40th floor of the Dolton hotel, someone we had never met and was with a different group happened to be near by at our gotcha moment. She approached Angie to tell her that she saw our gotcha and it was a moment that she will never forget either, because of what she said at the moment and the way in which she said it. The statement was truly pure and truly praise, just like the Seraphim shouting Holy Holy Holy in the temple.
From this moment on our lives had changed and many more adventures in and out of China were yet in store for us. We now had to learn what it means to be parents. This part of the adventure will be continually chronicaled here in myspace as the journey continues. We left China some time later after spending many days in Guanzhou. We had another layover in LA and met two more of Angies friends Katie and Dirk who took us to IN and OUT for burgers. Finally, we arrived to our gathering of friends back in Cincinnati. We had a gathering of around 12 or so that met us at the airport terminal. One thing that was a bit forboding of things to come was the sad fact that not one blood relative was there. This was sad because Angie's dad had lung surgery while we were gone. He didnt make it. We went to breakfast with our friends and then headed for home. We took a brief rest in our own bed and put Gracie down in her new home. We then went to church, by ourselves. We had something to do that needed done now. We layed Gracie on the alter and promised her back to the Lord from wence she came. God gave her to us and we shall raise her in His house and return her to Him. After this we needed to go to the hospital because time was short. James died the next day. Most of Gracies new family met her at a funeral. This was sad.
Grace is now four years old and a complete bundle of energy and joy to all who cross her path. She is a magnet for strangers and a minister of the first order. She can capture the heart of the most hardened spirit. It is impossible to remain depressed or sad in her glow. When I look into her eyes I understand the scripture of Jacob at Peniel. For when I look into her eyes I see the face of God looking back at me. When I say that I have looked upon the face of God and been spared, this is what I mean. Through God and through Grace I have been changed.
This is the ongoing story of Grace. This is also my witness.

Blessed be you.

YBIC